


Underneath It All

by Racey



Category: Bleach
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-19 00:20:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 24
Words: 95,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22335511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Racey/pseuds/Racey
Summary: He's loved him for as long as he could remember. Only one problem...the guy was straight.
Relationships: Grimmjow Jaegerjaques/Kurosaki Ichigo
Comments: 11
Kudos: 87





	1. Hero

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or Hero...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_I need a hero to save me now_

_I need a hero (save me now)_

_I need a hero to save my life_

_A hero will save me (just in time)_

_-Skillet-_

XOXOXO

_First Year_

_October 2007_

_Karakura University_

He couldn't breathe. He had a stitch in his right side and his lungs were on fire. _Fuck, how long had he been running?_ He ran through the campus grounds, stumbling over gnarled patches of grass and awkward slants of cement. Normally, he wouldn't run, but there were too many of them this time.

"Haah...haah...haah!" His breaths were becoming shorter and shorter.

 _This was bad. At this rate, they would catch him and...god, his stomach clenched at the thought_. A sudden burst of adrenaline spurred him onwards faster. Just when he was rounding the last building of the campus, he ran into what felt like a solid wall and fell back on his ass.

"Ahh, fuck!" he yelped as he grabbed his nose. His eyes started watering as he looked up to see what the fuck he'd run into.

 _Oh god, no. Shit!_ His heart started racing as he eyed the man in front of him. If _he_ was here, then that meant...

"Well, well, if it ain't the pretty little strawberry? What ya doin' 'round here so late, princess?"

"Fuck you!" Ichigo snapped, his eyes wild as he climbed to his feet and started backing away from the advancing man.

Not even six steps later, he ran into someone standing behind him. Freezing mid-step, he clenched his teeth and tried to tamp down the terror pulling him under like a riptide. Jumping to his left, he almost ran into a short, petite black-haired girl resting a menacing-looking aluminum bat on her right shoulder.

Ichigo swallowed the huge lump in his throat as he looked to his right to see that he was well and truly surrounded and probably going to die tonight. Tears welled up in his eyes as the four main antagonists closed in on him from all sides while the other followers stayed behind. _What the fuck! This wasn't fair!_

Suddenly, the red-haired man that had initially spoken, lunged forward and grasped Ichigo by his hair roughly, yanking his head back and essentially keeping him still unless he wanted his hair ripped out by the roots.

"Now, what on earth made you think you could get away from us, hmm?" the man breathed into Ichigo's ear.

"Renji, don't forget my turn this time, ne?" the short black-haired girl whined.

"Yeah, ok, Rukia. 'Sides, there's enough for all of us."

"W-why are you doin' this?" Ichigo asked through clenched teeth. _God, this prick was gonna pull his hair straight from his head_. "I didn't do anything to any of you."

"Yeah, well, we don' fuckin' like queers like you," a bald man shouted from the right.

"That's it? Because I'm gay? That's pathetic! There are more people that are gay besides me, but I'm the only one getting fucked up! I'm not ashamed of what I am so what will this prove?" Ichigo cried angrily. _It was always the same fuckin' thing!_

All of a sudden, Ichigo was brought to his knees with a swift swing of the aluminum bat to his stomach by the black-haired girl named Rukia. Gasping and coughing desperately, his eyes watering, he collapsed all the way to the ground clutching his throbbing gut.

"What the fuck, Rukia?" Renji questioned.

"Quit your yapping and let's get on with the ass-kicking!" She snapped.

"I agree with Rukia, Renji. Besides, campus security will be here soon," a blond man said from behind.

"Tch, fine!" Renji snarled as he brought his foot up and smashed it into Ichigo's face, making his head spin.

Tears made themselves at home on his cheeks and under his chin as Ichigo saw stars. He was going to die and all because of his sexual preference. He couldn't help that he liked men instead of women, but he certainly hadn't expected for these creeps to find him in university to continue their merciless torture.

Ichigo covered his head against the blows raining down on him as he felt blood sliding from his mouth and nose and somewhere above his left eye. _God, they were really trying to kill him!_ Still covering his head with his quickly numbing left arm, he tried to crawl away with his right, only to have his fingers stepped on. Ichigo felt his middle and ring fingers break before he howled and screamed desperately.

"HELLLLP! SOMEBODY FUCKIN' HELP MEEEE!"

"I think you should let that kid go," a deep voice called out calmly.

Ichigo wanted to shout for joy when the onslaught of blows ceased as his tormentors turned to the source of that commanding voice. He knew better though. Any noise coming from him would only make them continue the ruthless beating and he certainly hadn't been raised as a fool.

Trying to see who his savior was, he squinted his right eye, as his left had swollen shut. What he saw made him gasp quietly. _Could that be? But why would the most popular student in Karakura University be assisting him, the queer, whose reputation preceded him from Karakura High School?_

Ichigo held absolutely still as the group surrounding him considered the man before them. Renji grinned and shifted his weight.

"What the fuck makes ya think we're gonna listen to you, hmm?" he asked with no small amount of amusement.

"'Cause you don't want me to shoot your fuckin' dick off," his savior responded. Ichigo's eyes widened. _Was this guy for real?_

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA! You're a funny fuck ain't ya?" the bald man cried out. Ichigo watched as his savior spit to his right before reaching behind his back with his left hand and brought forth a gleaming, chrome, rubber-gripped Desert Eagle .50.

"So, I'm only gonna tell ya one more time before I start poppin' holes in you fuckers. Let. The. Kid. Go."

"Shit! He's really got a fuckin' gun! I'm outta here," Ichigo heard several other voices agree with the first.

"Fine! We'll just get him next time! You won't always be there!" Renji snarled before giving Ichigo one last kick to his side, before shoving off with his cronies.

Ichigo was still lying on his side, when the face he'd admired from a distance for so many years, was suddenly hovering over him, sapphire-blue eyes shining with intensity.

"Christ, why'd they do this to you, kid?" the man's deep voice washed over him like a soothing balm. Ichigo parted his swollen and split lips to allow two words before he fell unconscious.

"I'm gay."

XOXOXO

_Goddamn professor!_ The man just had to damn near bury him with homework, making him have to stay later than he usually did at the campus library. Thankfully, he was in his last year, so he wouldn't have to put up with this annoying shit for much longer.

As he left the building and headed across the dark campus grounds, he reached his hand behind his back to check for his weapon. Satisfying himself when his fingers brushed over the cool metal stashed under his loose and untucked black button-up, he reached into the pocket of his gray slacks for his pack of smokes. Shaking one free and sticking it between his lips, he fished a lighter from the same pocket, lit up then inhaled and exhaled deeply. _That's the stuff_.

He found an empty bench across from the science building of the university and hunkered down to enjoy his cigarette before heading to his car for the ride home. Shifting the backpack slung over his right shoulder, he pushed his hand through his bright blue locks and sighed heavily.

 _Damn, he still had Cirucci to deal with once he made it back to his apartment_. He just knew she was going to insist on coming over, but she was really an idiot if she thought he was unaware of her "extra-curricular activities". Like he didn't know she was fucking Ilfort every which way but right. He chortled to himself as he inhaled the last of the cigarette before flicking away the butt, uncaring of his littering.

Suddenly, a blur of orange and blue shot across the grass and rounded the science building. He frowned as he scratched the back of his head. _What the fuck was that?_ Curiosity would probably be the death of him one of these days, but he did have Pantera so he should be fine.

He slowly rose to his feet but paused when he saw the large amount of people gathering around the side of the building. Some were smirking, some were scowling, others were expressionless. _What the hell was going on?_ He edged around the corner to see four people surrounding a familiar-looking orange-haired kid. _Where had he seen him before?_

The kid looked terrified as the people closed in on him. Then he frowned when he saw one of the four people-a red-haired freak with crazy tattoos-lunge at the kid and grab him by the hair. Some words were exchanged before out of nowhere, the girl with an aluminum bat tried to tenderize the poor kid's insides. He watched in disgust as the four began beating the kid mercilessly. _Yeah, enough was enough_.

He stalked forward confidently and for some reason his gut clenched at the sheer desperation heard in the kid's cry for help. He had no idea why those bastards were trying to kill the kid, but it wasn't going to happen on his time. He was no wuss that only relied on a gun either, he could actually fight pretty well, but he'd soon gotten tired of being accosted all the time about his looks or being smart, or just plain idiots trying to intimidate him by number. So, dusting off his father's old weapon, he taught himself to be a pretty accurate shot. Now, Pantera came in handy pretty often.

"I think you should let that kid go," he called out, cutting through the sickening sound of flesh being pounded.

 _At least that made them stop_. They regarded him with obvious amusement, but he wasn't intimidated. Not in the least. One of the idiots asked him a question that almost made him laugh out loud.

"'Cause you don't want me to shoot your fuckin' dick off," he responded.

Some bald fuck started braying like a damn hyena, completely offending his ears. Tired of the bullshit, he spat angrily, trying to rid his mouth of the bitter taste of disgust, as he reached around and under his shirt to grasp Pantera's rubber handle before freeing her from the waist of his slacks and pointing her in the general direction of the group of assholes.

"So, I'm only gonna tell ya one more time before I start poppin' holes in you fuckers. Let. The. Kid. Go."

There was some more speaking from the freak with the tattoos before his objective was achieved-they moved on. He waited until they were gone before he went to check on the kid to see if he was still alive.

He approached the kid slowly, anger tearing through him at what he was seeing. _Holy fuckin' god_. He tucked Pantera away before he crouched over the orange-haired youth and shook his head in equal measures of disbelief and outrage. One bleary brown eye glanced up at him, shining with thanks.

"Christ, why'd they do this to you, kid?" he asked. He was totally unprepared for the answer he was given. The kid opened his split and swollen lips slightly and whispered.

"I'm gay."

He watched helplessly as the kid's eye rolled back and he lost consciousness. _Oh fuck! He had to get this kid to a hospital or something._ The kid was pretty small for his age; he only looked to be 5'9" or something and couldn't be more than 160 lbs. Compared to his 6'3" height and 200 lbs., that was nothing. Not to mention, he worked out regularly and was able to bench press 300 lbs. easily.

He effortlessly hefted the youth into his arms, careful not to jostle him too much before taking off at a brisk walk towards the student parking lot and his car. _Please don't die, kid!_


	2. History

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_Second Year_

_Junior High School_

_April 2002_

_The air was balmy, a light dew covering the cars parked on the street. It was 7:30 in the morning and he was extremely excited. It was the first day of junior high after all, and he couldn't wait to see his friends._

_He hurried down the street towards the school, his breath coming in short spurts. He adjusted his backpack on his shoulders and tugged at the short sleeves of his uniform. Yuzu had commented that Ichigo was finally growing because his shirt was getting too small. Laughing to himself, he sped up when he recognized the two large white buildings that housed the junior and regular high school classes._

_Ichigo didn't necessarily like school itself, even though he kept pretty good grades, he just liked going to school because he was able to see his friends. They always had a lot of fun._

_He rushed past the entrance and headed for the meeting spot where they all agreed to wait for each other's arrival. Ichigo spotted Renji first, which, considering the boy's height and bright red hair, wasn't very hard. Beside him stood Rukia and Inoue. He didn't see Ishida or Chad yet, but he was sure they would be there, especially Ishida. He was such a brain._

_"Oi!" Ichigo greeted upon nearing the group. They all turned warm smiles in his direction and he returned the gesture._

_"Kurosaki-kun!" Inoue cried enthusiastically as she waved._

_"Yo, Strawberry!" Renji said loudly and Rukia rolled her eyes in exasperation._

_"Do you have to be so loud, idiot?" She snapped before turning back to Ichigo. "Hey, Ichigo."_

_"What's up? Where's Chad and Ishida?" Ichigo asked, glancing around to search for the missing boys._

_"Don't know. Ya know four-eyes ain't gonna miss the first day of class though. That just ain't happenin'," Renji commented while adjusting his ponytail._

_They all shared a laugh at that, and as they stood waiting for the bell signaling the start of the first class, Ichigo allowed his eyes and mind to wander. He took note of the older-looking students, deducing that they must be attending the adjoining high school._

_Then his eyes landed on a tall older boy with a head full of bright blue hair and equally bright blue eyes. He was pretty muscular, but still lean and his stride was confident and sure. Ichigo felt a weird chill slide down his spine as he watched the boy walk towards the high school building. He was chatting and laughing with two other older boys, one tall and skinny, the other short and petite. The blue-haired boy's smile, displaying a mouth full of pearly white teeth, sent another chill wriggling down Ichigo's spine._

_Ichigo had never felt that before when looking at someone. It felt strange and uncomfortable, so he decided to ignore it for the time being. It wouldn't do to dwell on something he was unable to recognize in the first place. Luckily, Ishida, Chad and Ichigo's other friend, Tatsuki, approached the group just as the bell rang, and they all hurried off to their respective classes._

XOXOXO

_Second Year_

_Junior High School_

_July 2002_

_Summer Break_

_Ichigo, Renji, Rukia, Chad, Tatsuki, Inoue, and Ishida had all decided to go to the beach one Saturday morning during summer break. It was promising to be hot and Ichigo couldn't wait because he hadn't been to the beach since he was six years old, even though he loved to swim. He was pretty good at it too._

_They had agreed to meet up at the beach instead of trying to go together, because it would make things easier that way. Ichigo excitedly packed a bag with a towel and an extra set of clothes, before he remembered who was supposed to bring the food for the outing, and decided to stick a couple of sandwiches in the bag as well. He was sure Inoue meant well, but her snacks and meals never did turn out quite the way she wanted them to._

_"Dad! You ready?" Ichigo yelled as he thundered down the stairs, wearing a pair of light green swim trunks, a sleeveless white shirt and a pair of navy flip-flops._

_"Yes, my beloved son!" his old man cried and tried to launch himself at Ichigo._

_Ichigo scowled, elbowed his father to the floor then smoothly stepped over him heading towards the front door. When he swung it open, he was surprised to see Renji standing on the other side poised to ring the bell._

_"What're you doin' here?" Ichigo asked, scratching the back of his head._

_"Uh, can I bum a ride with you and your dad?" Ichigo shrugged nonchalantly._

_"Yeah, he won't mind. OI! Let's go, old man!" He yelled, trying to urge him on._

_"Comiiiiiing, Ichigooooo!" Isshin loudly stated as they left the house and headed for the green mini-van Ichigo's father owned._

_After a long and entirely excruciating ride with his old man singing "Old MacDonald" and "99 bottles of beer", Ichigo was ecstatic to reach their destination. He leaped from the van and after waving goodbye, he and Renji raced from the parking lot, through the entrance and across the sand._

_Renji was the first to spot the others as they slowed down and began to walk. Ichigo settled down beside Chad and spread out his strawberry covered towel, making his silent companion lift his visible eyebrow. Ichigo blushed as he shrugged and grinned._

_"Yuzu got it for me, so I can't just not use it, ya know?"_

_Chad just nodded and Ichigo continued to set up his things. Once his towel was spread out to his liking, he began to undress, pulling his shirt over his head and kicking off his flip-flops._

_"You wanna get in the water, Ichigo?" Chad asked in his quiet manner._

_"Hell yeah! Let's go!" He exclaimed and they headed for the shoreline._

_Ichigo hadn't had that much fun in a long time. Renji had challenged him to race after race, losing each time, while Chad floated by serenely on his back. Rukia, Tatsuki and Inoue played beach ball wars, squealing and laughing the whole while. Ishida didn't even bother getting in the water, instead opting to work on a sewing project._

_All good things must come to an end though, or a pause in Ichigo's case, because he was hungry and could no longer ignore the monster protesting loudly in his gut. He headed for his towel with his head lowered as his mind wandered to how good those sandwiches would taste, but before he could make it there, he ran into something very solid, knocking him backwards to the ground. Scowling, he visored his eyes with his hand to block the sun as he glanced up at what he'd run into, and his eyes widened comically._

_"Sorry 'bout that, kid," a deep voice said. It was the blue-haired teen Ichigo noticed in the beginning of the school year._

_"I-it's fine," Ichigo stuttered dumbly. The older teen held his hand out to help Ichigo up and as he took the offered hand, his began to tingle from the contact. "Thanks."_

_Ichigo shuffled to his towel, but once he settled himself, he couldn't tear his eyes from the tall, blue-haired boy wearing a pair of blue and white swim trunks that hung low on his hips. Even as he nibbled on his sandwich, his mind wasn't really focused on eating. He watched, completely enthralled, as the older teen played American football with a few other older teens, including the two Ichigo noticed with him before._

_The boy was beautiful. His muscular body glistened with a fine sheen of perspiration and his blue hair was plastered to his head, tamed for the moment from sweat or water, which exactly, Ichigo couldn't tell. He was graceful, strong and fast and Ichigo was astonished, not to mention puzzled, at what he was thinking, let alone feeling._

_Why did this teen make goosebumps cover his skin and chills skitter up and down his back. The huge, devilish grin the boy wore also did strange things to Ichigo's body, particularly his groin. He swallowed. He was so not gonna go there._

XOXOXO

_Third Year_

_Junior High School_

_May 2003_

_For Ichigo, school began to rush by, but he was still confused. Ever since that day at the beach during his second year of junior high, he couldn't stop thinking about the blue-haired teen and when he saw him, he couldn't keep himself from staring. He was so baffled, but he didn't want to talk to anyone about his strange obsession with the older teen for fear of being laughed at or scorned._

_Ichigo had found that the boy's name was Grimmjow Jaegerjaques, and he was currently in his third year of high school. He was in the American football club and also top of his class. Ichigo was given this bit of information by a guy named Shinji Hirako, also in his third year of high school. Shinji was pretty funny, and painfully blunt at times, which Ichigo had to learn the hard way. Shinji was also gay, but he told Ichigo that only a few people knew about that because he didn't like to broadcast his personal life._

_"Don't get me wrong, I ain't ashamed or nothin', I just don't trust many people," he'd explained at the time._

_Ichigo continued to watch Grimmjow from a distance, realizing with a frightening clarity, that what he was experiencing went beyond simple friendly interest, and into the murky territory of...something else that he wasn't ready to acknowledge just yet._

_Unfortunately, being friends with someone as blunt and also as perceptive as Shinji, made the "not acknowledging" part of things a little difficult. He and Ichigo had been coming from lunch, when he'd spotted Grimmjow walking towards them with his head down and headphones on. Shinji proceeded to "mistakenly" shove Ichigo into the poor, unsuspecting young man._

_They ended up on the ground in a tangle of arms, legs and backpacks, with Ichigo lying awkwardly on top of him. Grimmjow was wearing a slight scowl before recognition seemed to light his blue eyes, and he pulled his headphones off._

_"You really oughta watch where you're goin', kid," his deep voice rumbled into Ichigo's chest. Blushing wildly when he realized he'd been staring at Grimmjow's mouth as he spoke, he shoved away from him, allowing the blue-haired boy to sit up._

_Ichigo averted his gaze and grit his teeth, inwardly cursing Shinji to the deepest pits of hell. Why the fuck had that blond bastard done that? Now, he was thoroughly embarrassed and had no idea how to handle the situation. Not only that, he was also dealing with the fact that he had enjoyed being on top of Grimmjow, staring into his ocean-blue eyes and then at his soft-looking lips. Having his hands splayed across the teen's solid chest. Aww, man._

_Ichigo peeked at Grimmjow from the corner of his eye to see the teen watching him with amusement. Suddenly, a large hand was ruffling his hair before being quickly withdrawn as Grimmjow climbed to his feet and stuck his headphones back on._

_Ichigo watched as Grimmjow walked away calmly and confidently, hands in his pockets, as if nothing had happened. Then he looked around for Shinji, murder on his mind, wondering where the blond had disappeared to. As if on cue, Shinji appeared at his side wearing an ear-to-ear grin before wrapping his thin arm around Ichigo's shoulders._

_"Ichi, my friend, welcome to the club," he said._

_"The fuck're you goin' on about?" Ichigo snapped, still highly irritated, but Shinji's grin only widened._

_"You're gay."_

_Ichigo felt the blood drain from his face as he stared at Shinji in open-mouthed shock. What?_

XOXOXO

_Karakura General Hospital_

_October 2007_

Grimmjow rushed into the emergency room carrying the unconscious orange-haired youth in his arms bridal-style. Before the ride to the hospital, he had searched the kid's pockets to find his wallet and some form of ID. Upon finding such material, as well as a cell phone, he'd recognized the kid from his driver's license photo. Ichigo Kurosaki. No wonder he looked familiar. Grimmjow had literally bumped into him several times back in high school and seen him often-time walking past the University once he'd graduated.

Grimmjow had thought the kid was clumsy and awkward and hadn't really paid him much mind. He certainly hadn't known he was gay. He glanced down at the battered face and felt his ire rise once more. _That still was no reason to damn near beat the kid to death_.

"Oi! I need some help here!" He demanded upon entering the waiting room.

A portly nurse rushed forward asking Grimmjow questions rapidly. He only knew what he'd seen and that was the kid getting beaten to within an inch of his life. The nurse called for a stretcher and some assistance and Ichigo was hauled away.

 _Now what? Did he stay? He should call someone for the kid, right?_ He still had Ichigo's phone, so he could find someone to inform of the kid's whereabouts. Scrolling through the contact list, Grimmjow came across a familiar name. Shinji. He couldn't be sure if it was the one he knew, but he called anyway. After a few rings, a guy picked up.

"Hey, Ichi, what's up?" Grimmjow grinned. _Oh, it was Hirako, alright_.

"Oi, your friend's in the hospital. Wanna come check on him?" Grimmjow asked frankly. There was a short pause, then...

"WHAT? What do ya mean Ichi's in the hospital? And who the fuck're y-GRIMMJOW?" Shinji shrieked, making Grimmjow pull the phone away from his ear.

"Jesus, if this is what Stark puts up with, I'm amazed he's still sane."

"Grimmjow, why do you have Ichigo's phone? Why is he in the hospital?"

"Some punks beat the hell outta him and I happened to be there when it went down. Got the fuckers to leave, but the kid passed out, so I brought him here. Look, ya comin' or what? I got shit to do," he grumbled irritably.

"Oh, fuck! Did the guy have red hair and tattoos?"

"Yeah, but there was a lot more of 'em."

"Shit, I'm comin'," Shinji said and abruptly ended the call.

Grimmjow scrolled through the rest of the contact list and didn't see any names like "dad" or "mom". He wondered if the kid even had a family. Not that he cared or anything, but he was sure they'd want to know what happened to their kid. _Oh, well. He'd let Hirako handle that_. Suddenly, his cell phone buzzed in his pocket and answering without checking the readout, he barked into the device.

"Yeah?"

"Grimmy? What's wrong? You sound upset!"

 _Cirucci. Fuck_.

"Look, I'm busy right now, yeah? I'll talk to you later."

"But Grimmy, I-"

Grimmjow snapped the phone shut in disgust. He should've rid himself of that headache a long time ago. It wasn't like it would be hard for him to find another woman. Shit, it wouldn't be hard at all, he just didn't want to be bothered with the trouble of the whole "getting to know you" process.

He was in the waiting room for about half an hour before Shinji rushed through the entrance followed by an exhausted-looking Stark. Then again, Stark always looked exhausted. Shinji spotted him and hurried over.

"How is he?" he asked, his voice downright panicky. Grimmjow scowled.

"How the hell would I know? No one's told me anything," he responded.

"Tch, did you ask?"

All Grimmjow did was glare at the slim blond before the man sucked his teeth and turned on his heel, headed for the receptionist's desk. Stark lowered himself into the seat beside Grimmjow and yawned.

"How do you deal with him everyday?" Grimmjow asked incredulously.

"S'not so bad," the brown-haired man answered sleepily and then sighed deeply. "So tired."

"You're always fuckin' tired, Stark."

Stark only grinned and leaned back in the seat to wait for Shinji. Now that the blond had arrived, Grimmjow no longer needed to be there, so he handed the kid's wallet and cell phone to Stark.

"Give that to Hirako. It's the kid's," he stated as he rose from his seat.

"You're leavin then?" the brown-haired man asked almost disappointedly.

"Yeah, I'm tired and I have a headache. I'll see you later, yeah?"

Stark gave him a two-fingered salute and Grimmjow chuckled as he left the hospital, headed for his car. Once he arrived, shoved himself inside and peeled out of the lot, his thoughts went back to the orange-haired kid, Ichigo. _He kind of felt bad for him_.

XOXOXO

"Ichi! Ichi!"

Ichigo could hear someone calling him, but he was so tired. He really didn't want to open his eyes.

"Ichi!"

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to stop calling him. He needs to rest."

"Shutup! That's my best friend!"

"Shinji, calm down. She said he's just resting."

Ichigo inwardly sighed. Shinji was such a drama queen. If Ichigo didn't wake up, he would make a scene. As Ichigo tried to speak, a stinging and throbbing pain shot through his lips. _Oh, yeah. His lips were pretty much done for the moment. Still...he had to try_.

"S-Shin," he whispered, eyes still closed. _God, he sounded terrible_. "P-please don't cause any trouble."

"Ichi! What the fuck happened?"

"Shin! Shutup! I'll tell you when I wake up," Ichigo muttered.

He didn't even hear Shinji's next words because he had already drifted back to sleep. _He was so tired_.


	3. Friends No More

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_Karakura General Hospital_

_October 2007_

Ichigo woke with a start, covered in sweat and still slightly shaking. _It was that damned dream again_. Fate felt that it wasn't bad enough that he would never forget that day for as long as he lived, no, so it kept revisiting him in the form of a hellish nightmare, providing him absolutely no escape.

He slowly turned his head to the right to see the sun shining through the window into the already overly bright hospital room. _How long had he been sleeping?_ He remembered scolding Shinji and drifting back off, but other than that, nothing.

Turning to his left, he caught a glimpse of bright blond hair and cracked a grin, noticing his lips didn't hurt as badly as they had before. Shinji sat dozing in a large faux leather seat placed at his bedside and Ichigo wondered if he'd been there all night.

Splashes of bright colors on the small table next to the chair Shinji occupied, grabbed his attention, making him focus on the flower arrangements placed there. _Flowers? He had flowers?_

Before he could delve too deeply into his speculations, Shinji stirred, yawning loudly and stretching. Ichigo again grinned as he watched his friend. _The slim blond was so dramatic_. Shinji's gaze was drawn to Ichigo's and he gasped loudly before almost flinging himself onto the orange-haired youth.

"Shin," Ichigo growled under his breath. He wasn't going to let Shinji hinder his healing process by trying to smother him.

"I'm sorry, Ichi, I was just so worried. I'm glad you're awake now. You've been out for almost a week!"

Ichigo felt his eyes widen incredulously. _A week? No way! Wouldn't he have noticed or something? He couldn't believe he'd been unconscious for nearly a week. Stupid fuckin' Renji and Rukia_.

"A week?" He asked softly, if only just to make sure he'd heard correctly. Shinji nodded and scooted forward in his seat.

"Yeah, it was pretty bad this time. Sooo...ya gonna tell me what the hell happened?" Ichigo scoffed indignantly.

"Shin, the fuck does it look like?"

"You know what I mean, Ichigo," Shinji stated sternly. "How did they find you? I thought you were telling everyone you were goin' to a private university?"

"I did, but people recognized me. It's not like I'm very hard to point out in the first place."

"That red-haired fuck. He'd better be glad I wasn't there!"

"There were too many of them this time, Shin. Way too many. It was like they were really gonna kill me," Ichigo spoke quietly.

"AH! Until you were saved by your knight in shining armor," Shinji giggled and waggled his eyebrows.

Ichigo's eyes widened as he remembered. _So, he hadn't been dreaming that part then? Grimmjow had really helped him_. A deep blush lit his face as the image of the man's concerned blue eyes flooded his mind. _Shit, he thought he'd schooled himself to quit thinking like that about the blue-haired man since it was painfully obvious that nothing was going to happen between the two. Grimmjow was straight, and that was that_.

He grimaced and tried to sit up, but noticed with horror that his left arm was in a sling. Shinji rushed to help him, clucking like a mother hen the entire time, but Ichigo's mind was elsewhere. _How could someone that used to be so close to him, hate him enough to almost kill him?_

XOXOXO

_First Year_

_Karakura High School_

_November 2004_

_An icy wind whipped through his hair, tousling the bright orange locks, and his breath created little puffy white clouds. He rubbed his gloved hands together vigorously. Shit, it was cold! Ichigo wasn't a big fan of the cold, although he did love snow. He loved the way it smelled right before it slowly began to fall, blanketing its surroundings with a coat of calm and quiet. He loved walking through it and hearing the crunching noise it made underfoot; and lastly, he loved secretly making snow angels. He would sneak and do it when he thought no one was watching because they reminded him of his mother. Ichigo remembered making them all the time with her before she died._

_He looked around cautiously before taking off his backpack and lowering himself to the snow covered ground with a wide grin. He was in the park about a block or two from his home, because this little spot beneath a large cherry blossom tree had been calling to him as he passed by. He couldn't just ignore it._

_So, there he lay, eyes closed and arms and legs spread wide, forming short arcs to create the image of an angel, when a familiar voice startled him._

_"Looks fun. Mind if I join ya?"_

_Ichigo opened his eyes to see Renji standing over him wearing a lop-sided grin. He shrugged and watched as the red-haired boy lowered himself to the ground, but once he settled in the snow, he didn't move. Ichigo frowned nervously. What was he doing?_

_"Ichigo, how come you're always with that blond guy?" He asked softly, his words disappearing into the thick quiet of the steadily descending snow._

_"He's my friend," Ichigo shrugged nonchalantly._

_"But you do know he's a queer, right?"_

_The question had been simple and asked without malice, despite the offending word, but it still managed to make Ichigo pale and a feeling of dread descend in his gut. He peeked at Renji from the corner of his eye to see the red-haired youth with his face turned, watching him intently._

_"Yes," was all he said, in order to gauge the other's reaction. Renji frowned slightly._

_"That doesn't bother you? Ichigo, you're not..."_

_The hesitant pause was enough to tell Ichigo everything he needed to know. He had been debating on telling his friends about his newly discovered sexual preference for a couple of months, after Shinji so eloquently pounded the denial out of him. Now, looking into the mildly disgusted face of his friend, he wasn't so sure._

_"No," his voice was barely a whisper, but Renji still heard him and smiled brightly._

_"Good! I was kinda worried that you were turnin' into one of them..."_

_Ichigo tuned the rest of his words out as guilt and contempt towards himself turned his stomach inside out. He shouldn't have lied! Yet, he couldn't bear to see the look Renji was sure to give him had he told him the truth. His day now ruined, Ichigo stood and gathered his discarded backpack, then mumbled an excuse to Renji before taking his leave._

_Why did Renji feel that way about someone being gay? It wasn't a fuckin' crime, it was just a way of life. Ichigo stomped into his home, ignoring his family's greetings as he trudged up to his room. What the fuck was he gonna do now?_

XOXOXO

_First Year_

_Karakura High School_

_December 2004_

_Christmas Eve_

_When he was younger, he had adored Christmas and all the fluffy crap that came with it, but this year it was fuckin' torture. Where should he start? Well, the beginning sounds as good a place as any._

_Ichigo had awakened that morning with a bad feeling settling in the pit of his stomach, that only intensified when his old man burst through his bedroom door singing Christmas carols and wearing a Santa suit. Dear god, why him?_

_After kicking goat-face out-literally-he made his way to the bathroom, where he showered and brushed his teeth in an almost zombie-like fashion. He lacked the enthusiasm that his family obviously had in spades on this day._

_Ichigo exchanged gifts with his family and only had time to go to his room and get dressed, before his friends started pouring into his home bearing gifts. That wasn't the bad part though. The bad part was, it seemed like EVERYONE had someone special to be with this year. Even Shinji, which only made things worse in his opinion._

_He and his friends also exchanged gifts, no one noticing his melancholy mood, as his father flitted around serving the chicken dinner Yuzu had prepared, still wearing that ridiculous Santa suit._

_Inoue could be seen huddled close to Ishida, sharing secret smiles and brief touches. The same for Chad and Tatsuki, which he hadn't even seen coming, by the way. Even Rukia and Renji were paired off and being extra friendly with each other. What burned the most and left the sour taste of jealousy clinging to the back of his throat, was Shinji situated in the corner of the living room next to an extremely handsome brown-haired guy with sleepy gray eyes. They could be seen exchanging perverted glances and quick kisses._

_Surprisingly, Renji was too preoccupied with Rukia to give Shinji his customary nasty looks, although, that could also be attributed to the presence of the brown-haired man, whose name was Stark. Renji never even glanced at Shinji when he was around._

_So, there Ichigo sat, wading in a pool of misery as his friends surrounded him, sharing this day with someone special to them. By the time everyone decided to go, he was almost choking on the emotions bubbling up his throat. He had to get out of the house. It was snowing again, so maybe a walk would calm his frazzled nerves._

_He slipped into his coat and boots, pulled on a hat and his gloves, then set off. It wasn't dark yet, although it was on its way there, so he decided to go to the park close to his home, that way he wouldn't have far to walk to get back._

_Ichigo ambled over to the deserted swing set and after dusting the snow from one, eased onto it and slowly swung back and forth, dragging his toes in the snow on the ground. Fuck, this sucked monstrous balls. Even though he had his family, he'd never felt more alone in his life, and after lying to Renji, it wasn't like he could find someone to be with. He would never be able to keep it a secret. He ran a gloved hand over his face, thinking things couldn't get any worse. Yeah, but then fate decided to laugh in his face. While poking him in the nose._

_He heard voices coming down the small path that led to the park's entrance. A guy and a girl it sounded like. Ichigo scoffed. Another loving couple on Christmas Eve then. He decided to just ignore them, opting to continue swinging morosely, until he happened to glance up and see blue hair shining under the light that had just flickered to life, as the sun was now setting._

_He swallowed thickly. Oh, god, not him too! He watched as the couple turned out to be Grimmjow and a pretty blonde girl with clear green eyes. They were holding hands and talking quietly as they meandered down the path. Then they stopped, and Ichigo's heart was mashed out like the butt of a cigarette, as he watched his crush kiss the girl. The kiss became heated, and even though he wanted to, he couldn't move. He was completely rooted to the spot, face flushed and nose starting to run. He sat wishing like hell that it was him in those strong arms, and not that blonde girl. When he felt the ominous sting of tears in his eyes, he scowled darkly and shoved away from the swing, startling the poor couple._

_He was fuckin' ashamed of himself. He knew Grimmjow was straight. Shinji had told him so once he'd found out about Ichigo's crush. That didn't stop the stifling disappointment he felt, though. It swelled and ached in ways he just didn't understand and as a result, only served to piss him off. Why did he have to like a guy that was straight, so much so, that it physically hurt sometimes?_

_Fuck, he couldn't escape it. First his friends, then his crush. It seemed like Ichigo was slowly going insane or slowly falling apart and no one was there to help ease the pain of it all. He re-entered his home, kicked off his boots and stripped out of his winterwear, ignoring his family's greetings again, and dragged himself up to his room, where he collapsed onto the bed fully clothed. There he lay until he fell asleep, completely hating his life._

XOXOXO

_Second Year_

_Karakura High School_

_June 2005_

_And then things just seemed to go all downhill from there. Ichigo finally couldn't take the loneliness, and started secretly seeing a guy named Asano Keigo. They pretended to just be friends in public, but behind closed doors, they kissed and groped each other, until finally, Asano had insisted they give each other their virginities. Ichigo hadn't minded at all._

_It had been awkward since they really had no clue what the hell they were doing, and mostly running on pure instinct, but after the first time, it got better. He loved hearing the little squeals and not so little moans Asano made when Ichigo was buried inside of him. He never imagined sex being that good._

_Then, the shit hit the fan, of course. He and Asano had been at his house while his old man and sisters were out shopping, and Asano was using that time to give him an incredible blow job. He was kneeling on the floor between Ichigo's legs, while Ichigo sat on the bed leaning back on his hands._

_He didn't even hear his bedroom door open. He just heard the strangled noise Renji made as he stood staring, eyes wide with disbelief. Ichigo knocked Asano out of his lap and jumped to his feet, trying desperately to fix his pants as Renji fled. Shit! He had to catch him and explain!_

_He chased Renji for three blocks, feet clad only in a pair of socks, before he finally caught up to him, but when he did and placed his hand on the red-haired boy's shoulder, he was shoved roughly against an alley wall. Renji had his hands fisted in Ichigo's shirt collar, pressing him against the wall as he snarled in his face._

_"Don't fuckin' touch me! You lied to me!" he yelled, his russett eyes wild and livid._

_"Renji, I'm sorry I lied, but you didn't exactly make me wanna tell you the truth!" Ichigo yelled back. Renji's grip only tightened and his snarl deepened._

_"About what, hmm? You bein' a fuckin' faggot?" Ichigo was held speechless by the force of Renji's anger. He didn't understand why Renji hated gay people so much._

_"I thought we were friends," he uttered, his expression clearly relaying his puzzlement. Renji abruptly released him and stepped back, causing him to sag against the wall from the suddenness of being let go._

_"We're not friends anymore, Ichigo. I hate queers, and since you wanna be one...I hate you," Renji stated with deadly clarity._

_Ichigo's bottom lip trembled before he bared his teeth in a furious snarl. Motherfucker. How could he say that so easily? Had he never really cared about him? Ichigo balled up his right fist and threw it forward, crushing Renji's nose. As the taller boy crumpled to the ground holding the bleeding appendage, Ichigo turned on his heel and made his way back home. He didn't even notice the tears tracking down his face, as he went to his room and asked Asano to leave._

XOXOXO

_Karakura General Hospital_

_October 2007_

Ichigo grit his teeth against the painful memory. He still was just as clueless now as he was then, as to the reason for Renji's violent rejection. That didn't make it hurt any less, though. Before Shinji had come along, Renji had been his best friend, almost like a brother.

Shaking his head, Ichigo leaned against the pillows Shinji had propped up for his use, and tried to dispel the unwanted images from his mind. Suddenly, loud squealing sounded from the doorway.

"Kurosaki-kun! You're awake!" Inoue exclaimed.

"It's about time, Ichigo," Ishida dryly commented, as he adjusted his glasses with a small smirk.

"Ichigo," Chad nodded.

Ichigo smiled warmly at his friends. His _real_ friends. He didn't need to dwell on the loss of just one, but even as he thought that, his stomach clenched painfully, mocking him. _He still missed his old best friend_.


	4. Pain

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

"Get. Out."

"But Grimmy-"

"Cirucci, if you call me that one more fuckin' time, I'm gonna rip out your tongue! Just...do us both a favor, and _go_ ," Grimmjow snapped.

 _What the hell? This was ridiculous_. Either she was going through an enormous amount of denial, or she just refused to get it. He'd been nice, giving her an easy out without completely humiliating her the way he really wanted to...and she wouldn't budge.

Grimmjow ran a hand through his blue hair, making it fall across his brow and stand on end. It mirrored his frustrations at the moment perfectly. He paced the living room, agitation clearly rolling off of him and hovering in a dangerous cloud, as he quickly lost his patience.

"Grimmjow, what's wrong? You've been cranky all week!"

Everytime she spoke, it felt like another of his nerves withered and disappeared. _So, cruelty it was then_.

"Have you noticed I haven't fucked you in over a month, Cirucci?" He asked, as he abruptly stopped creating tracks in the carpet. Cirucci gaped at him, mouth falling open in shock. "No? Wanna know why?"

"I-I, I thought-"

"Yeah, I know. You thought I was stupid! Like I wouldn't find out about you and Ilfort or something. Did you forget that his fuckin' _brother_ is my friend? Or are you so much of a whore that you don't give a shit? God, I tried to be nice and just break it off, but you wanna stand there and pretend that nothing's wrong! Like _I'm_ losing _my_ mind!"

Cirucci just stood, unmoving, her mouth working open and closed like a fish, so Grimmjow decided to assist her with her departure by piling on the harsh reality.

"Still not sinkin' in, huh? Well, let's try this, then. I don't even fuckin' like you anymore, and I haven't for some time. I was just too lazy to get rid of you before, but I'm tired of cringing in embarrassment when someone mentions my name along with yours. _You've got to go_. I can't tolerate you anymore." He'd stalked up and faced off with her, and she _still_ wasn't moving.

Shaking his head in absolute revulsion, he gripped her shoulders and steered her to the front door. Finally, she paused in the open doorway, after shrugging his hands from her shoulders, and turned to face him, tears clinging to her lashes.

"You're such an asshole," she whispered.

"Well, ya know, I'd rather be an asshole than a fuckin' slut," he sneered, before slamming the door in her face.

Never had he experienced a more dense woman. He strode to the couch, before falling onto it to try to calm what little nerves he had left. It wasn't even that he was upset about her cheating, because he strangely didn't care. Any like he'd felt for the woman had long dissipated and developed into nothing more than tolerance and convenience. However, the situation with Ilfort was embarrassing and made him seem like he couldn't keep a woman happy. Or worse yet, as if he were dumb and easily taken advantage of. That was the last fucking straw.

Grimmjow had finally reached the end of his ropes and ended things with the short, dark-haired woman two days prior, but she relentlessly hounded him, making him resort to being brutally honest. At least she now understood that he knew about her shameless indiscretions, and that he no longer wanted anything to do with her.

The doorbell ringing interrupted his musings and he scowled deeply. _What the fuck was she thinking? Hadn't he been absolutely clear?_ He stormed to the door, cursing his bad luck the whole way, and threw it open to find...Ulquiorra.

"What're you doin' here?"

"I was unaware I needed a reason to visit my best friend," the petite man answered, while stepping inside and closing the door. Grimmjow shrugged and headed back to the couch. "So, I saw Cirucci leaving. She looked upset."

Grimmjow reclined against the plush cushions of the couch and silently observed one of his best friends. Ulquiorra Schiffer was short and petite, had inky black hair, wide emerald green eyes, and what seemed like an emotionless disposition. Unless one knew him of course. He had an incredibly dry and sarcastic sense of humor, and Grimmjow had instantly liked him.

"Yeah, so?" He replied after a while. Ulquiorra gave a small smirk.

"You've let her go, then?"

"I'm not an idiot, I was just being lazy."

"Well, Nnoitra will be overjoyed."

"Uh, you two still...?" Grimmjow probed hesitantly, making the smaller man crack a full-blown grin.

"Yes, we're still seeing each other."

"Ahh. Why're you laughin'?" He grumbled.

"You're strange," Ulquiorra uttered between soft chuckles.

"I'm not strange, it's just...you, me and Jiruga...we grew up together, so, forgive me if I'm a little...weirded out...seein' my two best friends kissin' an' all." Ulquiorra raised a brow, but held the smirk in place.

"You disapprove?"

"No, stupid! It's just...odd. Gonna take some gettin' used to, that's all. Yor, don't be a bastard, ya know what I mean. I don't have anything against gays an' you know it. Besides, you and bandana boy are my family."

"Yes, I know," Ulquiorra responded quietly.

XOXOXO

_Fourth Year_

_Karakura Elementary_

_April 1995_

_He was being stared at, but that was nothing out of the ordinary. Actually, he would be surprised if no one did stare. His blue hair and vivid blue eyes were highly abnormal for a Japanese person, and always cause for commotion no matter where he went._

_He got his looks from his German-American father who had met his Japanese mother through the army. Alric Jaegerjaques had been born and raised in America, joined the army at age eighteen and was soon after stationed in Okinawa. He met a beautiful dark haired, and dark eyed girl named Hanako that he fell in love with, and subsequently married. A year later, Grimmjow was born. A pretty traditional boy meets girl, falls in love, marries and then has babies kind of story, with the exception of his mother's death when he was only two._

_His dad told him that his mother had been returning home from shopping, when a speeding car ran a red light and hit her. His dad had been devastated, or so he'd said, but it must have been true because he'd never remarried. He even did pretty well raising Grimmjow as a single parent. His father was a little, er, eccentric, what with his western background and speaking rapid-fire English whenever he got pissed, but other than that, he was ok. Actually, Grimmjow adored his father, but he would never admit that out loud._

_After several more years with the army, he and his father moved to this small town named Karakura and today was the first day of school. His father had a hand on his shoulder, gently urging him forward._

_"Do I really gotta go?" he asked, his voice sullen._

_"Grimmjow, since when did you become a coward?" his father asked with raised brows. Grimmjow wrinkled his nose aggravatedly._

_"I'm not a coward, Pop."_

_"I can't tell."_

_He knew this was his dad's way of baiting him into going into the school without putting up a fight, and he hated that it was working. Sighing heavily, he adjusted his backpack and headed for the entrance, only pausing to glance over his shoulder and wave._

_"See ya, Pop."_

_"Have a good day, Grimmjow!" his father called cheerfully._

_Grimmjow dragged his feet as he made his way through the crowd of children ogling him with various degrees of curiosity and scorn. He ignored the pointing fingers and not so quiet whispers of "gaijin". Stupid idiots. Just because he looked different, they immediately thought he wasn't "one of them"._

_He found his class easily and seated himself in the back nearest the window, pointedly staring out of it. When the teacher called his name to introduce him as the new student, he growled in annoyance. He didn't want to be put on display like some piece of jewelry, but he went to the front of the classroom anyway. As he surveyed the faces of children he wouldn't bother getting to know, his gaze fell on a boy wearing a black bandana over his left eye and a wide, lazy, piano-toothed grin. The hell?_

_Deciding to ignore the strange kid, his eyes fell on another weird one staring right back at him with big, emerald-green eyes and a deadpan expression. Now that was odd. A Japanese kid with eyes that color? Hmm. So, he wasn't the only "gaijin" here._

_The teacher finally allowed him to take his seat and for the rest of the period, his mind wandered aimlessly. Lunch came, and he found a nice little spot under a large tree to eat in peace. Or so he'd thought._

_He'd only taken one bite from his turkey sandwich, when the sun was blocked by a tall form looming over him. Scowling darkly, he glanced up to see the bandana kid._

_"Yeah?" he asked impatiently. The kid's already wide grin seemed to devour the rest of his features._

_"Why the hell ya got blue hair? And yer eyes're blue too. That ain't normal."_

_Grimmjow set his sandwich down, stood and dusted his pants off. So, that was how it was, huh? This guy had guts approaching him like that though, he'd admit that much._

_Holy cow, but this kid was fuckin' tall! Grimmjow noticed the green-eyed boy standing behind the bandana kid and sneered expertly._

_"So? He's got green eyes. That ain't normal either."_

_Oh, well, that must've pissed bandana boy off because the next thing Grimmjow knew, he was staggering backwards from a punch to his jaw. Oh, yeah? Before the tall fucker could react, he leaped forward, sweeping him off his feet, and planting his elbow in his nose while the kid was on his way down._

_Bandana boy rolled to his feet, clutching his nose and giving Grimmjow a murderous glare. He started to come forward again, but the green-eyed boy interfered, just as a teacher rushed over._

_"What is going on?" she demanded, a pair of glasses slipping down her nose._

_When nothing was said, she dragged the both of them off to the principal's office, where their parents were called. They were sitting a few chairs away from each other, waiting to be picked up, when bandana boy spoke._

_"You can fight?" he asked quietly. Grimmjow scoffed haughtily._

_"Course I can. If I couldn't, I'd get my ass kicked everyday just coz of my looks."_

_"Cool. Name's Nnoitra. Nnoitra Jiruga. Green eyes is my best friend, Ulquiorra Schiffer. We'll be yer friends from now on," he said, rather authoritatively and Grimmjow frowned._

_"But you just hit me..." Nnoitra turned that wide grin on him again, and raised his visible brow._

_"Yeah, so? Can't hang with a wuss, now, can I?" Grimmjow slowly returned the grin._

_"Grimmjow, honestly! Your first day, son?" his father interrupted._

_"Sorry, Pop, won't happen again," he answered as he stood, and turned back to Nnoitra. "See ya, bandana boy." Nnoitra smirked._

_"Later, Blue."_

XOXOXO

_Yamanaka Apartments_

_October 2007_

Renji jerked upright, throwing the covers from him desperately, and rushed to the bathroom, stumbling over the discarded blanket. He'd just barely made it to the toilet, before he was wretching violently, body covered in a cold sweat. He was trembling like a leaf and tears poured from his eyes.

 _Fuck! He hated having those nightmares_. Reliving those moments was torture and it seemed like he could never escape them. Then he would wake to an empty life that no longer held any meaning for him at all, not even with Rukia there. He'd lost the only person that had truly meant something to him after the... _incident_. _Ichigo_.

He scooted back against the wall of the bathroom, drew his legs up to his chest and cradled his head on his knees. Tears continued to make tracks down his cheeks as he grit his teeth. _Fuckin' Strawberry_. He'd been like Renji's brother, doing almost everything with him. Then Ichigo had gone and... _betrayed_ him. His stomach clenched at the memory of walking in on his best friend being blown by a guy. He shuddered and gripped his elbows.

Ichigo didn't understand why Renji hated gay men, because he'd never explained the... _incident_...to him. He couldn't. It was too humiliating and painful just to remember, so he knew talking about it would probably put him six feet under. God, but he missed Ichigo so much, even if he did hate what he was. Even if he did kick his ass everytime he saw him, hoping against hope that it would knock some sense into the stubborn strawberry. _Stupid, right?_

Ichigo was proud of what he was, and Renji was losing hope in ever getting his old friend back. The friend he knew before he started sleeping with guys. _Shit!_ Renji fought the nausea washing over him as his thoughts went back to his nightmares.

XOXOXO

_Abarai Household_

_January 1996_

_"Renji-kun, your mom is going to be late coming from work tonight, so make sure you do your homework, take your bath and get to bed, ok?"_

_"Yes, Tatsuya-san," he answered from his spot at the kitchen table._

_Renji hated being left alone with his step-father when his mother worked over-time. He was weird and always gave him these strange looks that made him fidget and feel extremely uncomfortable. Renji couldn't put his finger on exactly what it was, but he didn't like it._

_He had just finished his homework after eating dinner, when Tatsuya entered the kitchen wearing boxers and a t-shirt._

_"I ran your bath, Renji-kun," he said in that silky smooth voice of his._

_Renji nodded and gathered his school materials, before trailing off to his bedroom to prepare for his bath. Hopefully, his mom would come home soon. He stepped into the bathroom, uncomfortably aware of Tatsuya watching him intently from the living room down the short hall._

_Renji bathed and brushed his teeth in record time, eager to hop into bed to get away from his creepy ass step-father. As soon as he settled under his blanket, wearing a t-shirt and super-hero pajama pants, his bedroom door cracked open._

_He listened to the quiet padding of feet as they crossed the room to where he lay, and he felt the slight dip in the bed from the added weight of another body. His eyes widened when he felt his blanket being pulled away from his suddenly trembling body. What was his step-father doing?_

_Suddenly, Renji was rolled onto his back and nose-to-nose with Tatsuya's leering face. He began to panic when the man lowered his lips to Renji's, prying his mouth open and forcing his wet and writhing tongue inside. He pushed against Tatsuya's chest, trying his hardest to get him to move, but his step-father was using his larger body to overpower him. Besides, there was only so much an eight-year old could do against a fully grown adult male._

_Renji whimpered helplessly, tears rolling silently down his cheeks, as the man's hand reached into his pajama bottoms and grasped him tightly. Finally, Tatsuya pulled away from his mouth and Renji opened it to scream, but the man's large hand quickly covered it._

_"Ah, ah! I wouldn't do that, Renji-kun, we don't wanna wake the neighbors, ne?"_

_Renji didn't respond. All he could do was cry and squirm and writhe pitifully, trying his best to stop his step-father. When Tatsuya rolled away from him, he exhaled in relief, glad that it was over, only to have his hair pulled forcefully, as he was yanked towards the man's now exposed erection. God, no! Where was his mom when he needed her?_

_"Please, Tatsuya-san, don't! I won't tell my mom, I promise! Just, please stop!" Renji pleaded, but his step-father just grinned lewdly._

_"Renji-kun, just kiss it. It won't hurt you. C'mon now."_

_Renji's tears fell in earnest as he whined and shook his head desperately. He wouldn't do that! It was wrong! It was immoral! Tatsuya tugged harshly at his hair, making him wince and fall forward, even closer to his manhood._

_Renji knew the man wouldn't let up unless he did as he was told, so he leaned forward, closing the short distance and pressed a chaste kiss to the man's erection. He pulled back as if he'd been burned, but Tatsuya yanked him forward again._

_"Now lick."_

_"Tatsuya-san, plea-"_

_"Do it!" his step-father snarled, and Renji released a sob before doing what he said._

_As soon as he opened his mouth, Tatsuya forced his head down, making him gag and choke. Renji was so scared, he was shaking uncontrollably. He was forced to suck his step-father off, before the man pulled him away, and forced him to his knees._

_When Renji's pajama bottoms were snatched off and his behind raised in the air, he all-out panicked, thrashing and kicking wildly. He didn't know what Tatsuya had planned, but he didn't like this exposed feeling and vulnerable position. He felt something slick, warm and blunt probing at him from behind, and he was ashamed to realize that he was peeing himself with fear._

_He screamed. Long and loudly._

XOXOXO

_Yamanaka Apartments_

_October 2007_

Renji remembered the searing, mind-numbing pain, and awakening in a hospital room with his uncle Kisuke sitting beside him. He'd always liked the cheerful blond and secretly wished the man had been his father.

Renji hadn't asked any questions when he was sent to live with Kisuke and his little cousins Ururu and Jinta in Karakura Town, but a few years down the line, he'd discovered that his mother had come home to find Tatsuya hunched over Renji's prone form, and retrieving a kitchen knife, killed the man then and there. She later had a nervous breakdown, blaming herself for what had happened, and was currently in a mental institution.

Renji had gone to visit her once, but when she didn't recognize him, he never went again. It had hurt too badly to see her that way. So, he'd buried the whole thing deeply inside himself and moved on. Sure, it had been extremely hard, what with the recurring nightmares for months and all, but eventually he managed to force it to the farthest recesses of his mind.

Making friends had helped a lot. Especially when he met Ichigo. Their friendship had been his healing salve, and he had almost recovered until... _fuck!_ _He needed to sleep_.

Renji trudged back to bed after brushing his teeth, and buried himself beneath his blanket. He sincerely hoped the nightmares were done for the night.


	5. Friends

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_November 2007_

_He had no idea what he was doing there_. There was no real rhyme or reason, other than the fact that he must have been more upset than he'd admitted. _Still_...

He shifted his weight to his right foot, as he looked up at the apartment building. _Would he think him weird? Or a stalker?_ When that thought crossed his already frazzled brain, he almost turned on his heel, and high-tailed it out of there. _But...he wasn't a wimp. A pussy. He'd come this fucking far, the least he could do was go through with it_.

He strode into the apartment building, headed towards the elevators, pressed the button and waited, his heart threatening to beat right out of his chest the entire time. _Why the fuck was he so nervous? He didn't do nervous. Nervous didn't do him. So...why?_

No answers lay in sight, so he disregarded that line of thinking, as he boarded the elevator. Fuck, his palms were actually starting to sweat. _Maybe this wasn't such a good idea_. He had no idea how the other person would react to his sudden, unannounced appearance at his home.

He swallowed nervously. _God, would he think he was crazy? Shit_. The elevator stopped on the seventh floor, and he slowly made his way to apartment E. _So, this was it, the moment of truth_. _He could still leave_. He turned to look at the elevators, but then frowned. _No_. _He wasn't a fucking coward, like he'd said_.

He hesitantly raised his fist, and quickly knocked three times on the door. Squeezing his eyes shut, he braced himself, and when he heard the lock being turned, and the doorknob rattling, his eyes snapped open. He relaxed his stance, and once the door swung wide, he fearlessly met the wide, startled brown eyes gazing back at him.

"Ichigo, right?" Grimmjow asked.

The kid just stood there staring, mouth hanging open and brown eyes unblinking. Finally, his mouth moved, but all that came out was a weird garbled noise. Grimmjow ran a hand through his blue hair, secretly starting to worry, but refusing to show it.

"You ok, kid?" he asked, trying to draw him out of his shock. Finally, Ichigo spoke.

"Uh, y-yeah. Wh-what are you doing here?" he asked breathlessly.

Grimmjow studied the kid's appearance, and fought a grimace. It had been two weeks ago, in October, that he had saved him from almost being beaten to death, but Ichigo still showed signs of the brutal attack. His left arm was in a cast and sling, and there was a stitched up cut above his left eye, slicing through the eyebrow.

He felt better knowing the kid would be ok, though. _Why? He wasn't quite sure_. Grimmjow didn't know where this concern for a virtual stranger was coming from. _It made him uncomfortable_.

"I guess, I just wanted to see if you were ok," he mumbled. "You were pretty banged up, and I, uh, I haven't seen ya around the university lately, so, I just...uh..." he trailed off uncertainly, as he ran his hands through his hair again. _He just what?_

"Oh. Well, I'm not going back to the university. I'm gonna take online courses," Ichigo responded, his voice not as faint anymore.

Grimmjow nodded, understanding the hidden meaning behind the statement. Ichigo didn't want to risk running into his attackers unnecessarily. He really felt bad for the kid. It was pretty fucked up that he got beat up just because he was gay.

"Um, d-did you wanna come in...or something?" Ichigo asked, shifting his weight. _Did he?_

"Yeah, ok."

He moved into the small apartment, waiting while Ichigo closed and locked the door. _What was he doing here? What would he say?_ He glanced at the kid, noticing he was still shifting nervously. _Oh, for fuck's sake! He wasn't some shy little chick. He was a man, and fear didn't belong in his makeup_.

"Somethin' wrong?" he drawled. Ichigo hesitantly shook his head, then made his way past him, and into a tiny kitchen nook.

"You want something to drink? I got water, soda, tea..." Grimmjow grinned, following behind the orange-haired teen.

"Water's fine."

Ichigo jumped, dropping a bottle of water, as he turned to face Grimmjow. His brown eyes were wide and frightened. Seeing the kid's fear made Grimmjow bristle, and back away.

"Hey, I'm not gonna hurt ya," his voice was tight.

"No, I just...you startled me."

"Sorry 'bout that, kid."

Ichigo's eyes widened again, and Grimmjow cocked his head to the side in contemplation. The kid seemed a lot nervous and a bit high-strung, but he didn't know why. _Was Ichigo afraid of him?_

Strangely, he hoped not. He didn't want to be another source of fear for him. It was obvious that Ichigo had enough shit to deal with, and he didn't want to be that straw that broke his back.

Ichigo held the bottle of water out towards him, and Grimmjow stepped forward to accept it, his fingers lightly grazing the kid's. Their eyes locked for a brief moment, before Ichigo averted his gaze, and left the tiny kitchen, going back into the living room.

 _What was that? Why had Ichigo looked at him like that?_ There had been hope in his eyes at first, but right before he turned away, his eyes had held such a overwhelming look of defeat. _What the hell?_

XOXOXO

Ichigo was rigid with shock. His normally boring Sunday had been turned upside down, when he'd gone to answer the door to find Grimmjow standing on the other side. He knew he had made a complete mockery of himself, standing in the doorway, gaping like a fish, but honestly, that was to be expected.

 _He'd been crushing on Grimmjow for how long, now?_ Even though he had trained himself-or so he thought-not to like the blue-haired male so much, it obviously hadn't worked. Anytime he saw him, his heart would do the can-can, completely ignoring his vehement protests. _The shit was so unfair_.

Ichigo knew that what he was feeling had completely gone beyond simple "like". It had blossomed and grown over the years, despite his rigorous attempts to beat said feelings into submission. _Heh. How pathetic, right?_ He didn't even know Grimmjow on a personal level, and yet, he couldn't ignore his reactions anytime the man was even mentioned. The throbbing ache that would build up in the back of his throat, the racing of his heart, the sudden heat that would spread throughout his entire body, the sweaty palms and loss of concentration...

 _Yeah, Ichigo had it bad_. He didn't want to label what he was feeling, however, because Grimmjow was straight. Not even remotely gay. That alone was enough to make him try his hardest to disregard his emotions. It had worked for a while, too! He had moved on in a sense, or at least to where he wasn't completely obsessed with the blue-haired man. He only saw him on occasion, and even though his chest would tighten, and his stomach would clench unmercifully, it didn't last as long as it used to.

Then, he'd been thrown right back into his life the night Renji and his gang of miscreants tried to kill him, practically stapling his presence into Ichigo's already abused heart, by becoming his savior.

 _Life was cruel that way, it seemed_. Now, the very man he secretly pined for, was sitting across from him on his couch, while he reclined on the love seat. _Why did god hate him so much?_

"So, what courses are you taking?" Grimmjow's sinfully sexy voice cut across his thoughts. Ichigo glanced up to see those beautiful blue eyes regarding him carefully, and his throat ached, as he swallowed the lump rising there.

"Um, v-video game design," he stuttered.

 _God, you see? This is what happened when he saw him from a distance, only now it was much worse_.

"Oh, yeah? So, how did ya get into that?"

 _And shit, he seemed genuinely interested_.

"Well, I've always liked video games, and I like to draw, so I figured, why not combine the two?" he answered.

Grimmjow nodded, and looked around the living room curiously. Ichigo fidgeted. _He wanted to know things about the man as well, but...dare he ask?_

"What about you? I mean, um, what do you do?" His brain sizzled, as that intense blue gaze swung back to face him.

"Business. I'm gonna open a club once I graduate," he answered with a wide grin, and Ichigo had to suppress a pitiful whimper. _Did Grimmjow know what he was doing to him? His bet was a big no. If he had, he would've left ages ago, or better yet, he never would've come in the first place_.

"Ah, that sounds cool. What kind of club?" Ichigo asked, before lifting a bottle of water to his mouth.

"A gay club."

Ichigo jolted drastically, spilling water all down the front of his white shirt. _What? He was hearing things. He had to be_. Yet, Grimmjow sat smiling widely, as if that was what he'd really said, and it didn't faze him in the least.

"Bu-"

"Most of my friends are gay, so I just want them to have a place where they can hang out in peace, ya know? Not worryin' about straight idiots tryin' to hound them all the time," he explained. Ichigo gaped, then slipped a little further into the dark abyss of having feelings for a straight man.

"Wow," was all he could manage, but Grimmjow's smile widened even further.

"You'd be welcome, too, yeah?"

"Um, ok. Thanks."

Grimmjow nodded, and they lapsed into a comfortable silence. Ichigo couldn't stop staring. He'd only been this close to him a handful of times, and each time was so quick. Now, he could study the object of his desire, with no interruptions.

Grimmjow was wearing a midnight-blue sweater, with a dark-gray stripe running across his broad chest. His jeans matched the stripe and were ripped comfortably at the knees, and he wore a pair of midnight-blue, high-top converse sneakers. The sleeves of his sweater were pushed up to mid-forearm, showing off a thin, black, leather wristband on his right wrist, and a black leather-banded watch on his left.

The sweater hugged his broad shoulders and chest, clinging to his thickly corded arms, and slim waist. Ichigo swallowed. _Jesus Christ_. The jeans were molded to his legs in an enticing manner, but not overly tight. Ichigo touched his chin. _Was he drooling?_

Grimmjow's angular face was turned forward, his piercing blue eyes unfocused. His soft-looking lips were slightly parted, and the corners were turned up in a half-smirk. His bright blue hair hung across his brow in the front, the rest stylishly messy. _The man was...fucking ethereal. This shit wasn't fair_.

And he couldn't forget his smell. When Ichigo had brushed past him to exit the kitchen, he'd gotten a whiff of some type of musky smelling cologne and a light fabric softener. God, he'd wanted to bury his nose in the man's neck and live there.

Ichigo sighed dejectedly. His vicious cycle had come full circle. He was again hip-deep in his obsession with Grimmjow Jaegerjaques, and helpless to stop it.

"I gotta jet, Ichigo, so I'll run inta ya later," Grimmjow said, as he stood, looking down at his watch.

"Oh, yeah, that's fine," he responded dumbly. His disappointment was acute and stifling. _Had he made Grimmjow uncomfortable? He didn't want the man to leave_.

He walked Grimmjow to the door, and once the blue-haired man crossed the threshold, he paused to glance back at Ichigo. Suddenly Grimmjow pulled a pen from his back pocket, and reached for Ichigo's hand. He quickly jotted down a number, then smiled warmly at him.

"If ya ever need anything, Ichigo, don't hesitate to call. I'd like to be your friend," Grimmjow said, and Ichigo choked softly on his emotions. _But he was a big boy. He'd live_.

"Thanks, Grimmjow, I'd like that."


	6. Consumed

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_February 2008_

Ever since the day Grimmjow had given him his phone number, Ichigo had stored it in his cell, and with each passing day, it weighed heavily on his contact list. _He wanted to call. He wanted to call so badly, but what the hell would he say? Sure, Grimmjow had offered his friendship, but would he be able to just be the man's friend, knowing the way he felt about him?_

Ichigo didn't think so, but...he wanted to speak to him. He didn't want to push away Grimmjow's kindness, just because he was being selfish, and wanted more than the man was giving. Was _willing_ to give. It was frustrating as hell, but faced with the other option of no dealings with Grimmjow at all, he caved, deciding to suck it up and just call him. _Hell, it had already been over three months since Grimmjow had given Ichigo his number_.

Shinji had called a few hours prior, and bullied Ichigo into a night out, claiming that the red head had been holed up in his apartment, moping for long enough. He thought that inviting Grimmjow out, would be a good way to break the ice with the older man.

Ichigo sighed, then inhaled deeply, scrolling through his contact list, until he found the name he wanted. He pressed the little green phone icon to connect the call, and continued holding his breath, as he waited for the call to be answered. _He was nervous as hell_.

Four rings later and Ichigo was about to hang up, when the voice that could melt solid rock, traveled over the line. Ichigo's breath left him with an audible "whoosh", as he reveled in the deep timbre of Grimmjow's voice.

"Hello? Who is this?"

 _Oh, shit! He still hadn't said anything_.

"Uh, G-Grimmjow, it's Ichigo," he said hesitantly, unsure of how the man would react. He was startled stiff, when Grimmjow's voice brightened.

"Oh, hey, Ichigo. I thought you lost my number or somethin'. Everything cool?" Ichigo unconsciously smiled, and felt his muscles relaxing.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Um, a-are you busy tonight?" he ended up blurting. There was a brief silence, before Grimmjow hummed.

"Mm, nah, I'm free," he stated, neither elaborating on or questioning Ichigo's inquiry.

Ichigo shifted nervously, and bit his bottom lip, but nervousness was meaningless at this point, so he straightened his back, and went for it.

"Shinji and I are going out for a couple of drinks, and, I, uh, well, if you want, you could, uh-" _Christ, he was stuttering like a goddamned chick!_ Ichigo facepalmed, and would have sighed had Grimmjow not started chuckling.

"Are you tryin' to invite me along?" Grimmjow asked. Ichigo huffed disgustedly. _Get it together, Kurosaki_.

"Yeah, if you want," Ichigo answered, proud that his voice was much stronger.

"Well, what's in it for me?"

Ichigo froze, as his mouth fell somewhere in the vicinity of his knees, while blood pooled in his groin, and his heart began thumping in his throat. _That had sounded way too suggestive. What the fuck was this man trying to do to him?_

"Uh, what do you-" Ichigo started, but was cut off before he could finish.

"I mean, if you want me to put up with Hirako all night, I need some type of incentive," Grimmjow rumbled.

 _Ah. That's what he meant_.

"Well, it'll be my treat, then. You don't like Shinji?" Grimmjow snorted.

"It's not that I don't like him, we just tend to bump heads, more often than not."

Ichigo could understand that. Shinji was, after all, rather blunt and opinionated. He chuckled, causing Grimmjow to join in the laughter.

"We're meeting up at Seireitei around nine," Ichigo informed, and again held his breath as he awaited Grimmjow's response.

"Alright, see ya then, Ichigo."

The call was ended, leaving Ichigo with his private musings. He loved the way Grimmjow's voice wrapped around his name almost intimately. He imagined the blue-haired man murmuring it in his ear, while being buried deep inside of him. Ichigo trembled violently, and upon glancing down, he realized his dick was pitching a tent in his pajama pants.

He tried-he really did-to fight the urge to touch himself, but images of kissing Grimmjow's soft-looking lips, and being touched by those large hands, invaded his mind, and the next thing Ichigo knew, he was rubbing a hand over his erection.

 _No, no, no!_ He was supposed to be getting dressed, then ready to leave, so he dragged himself to the shower, and after turning the hot water on and stripping, he stepped under the spray.

_"Ichigo."_

Ichigo squeezed his eyes shut against the tempting voice in his head, but before he could banish it, and change the water temperature to ice cold, it taunted him again.

 _"Ichigo," it murmured. His mind got carried away, and he was soon envisioning Grimmjow's hands gripping his naked bottom, as he was pulled closer, then pressed against the equally naked blue-haired man's erection_.

"Nnn," he moaned pitifully, as he wrapped his hand around his dick, giving a firm tug, before beginning to stroke rapidly. He was so pathetic, but he couldn't help himself.

 _In his mind, Grimmjow was kissing him, their tongues twirling and dancing, as one of his hands cupped Ichigo's balls and gently massaged. Oh, god_.

"Haah! Unnhh." His strokes were getting even faster and harder, as he braced his left arm against the shower wall.

 _Fantasy Grimmjow's hand left his balls, only to wrap long fingers around Ichigo's straining length and deliberately jerk, as he leaned forward and whispered the red head's name_.

"G-Grimmjow!" Ichigo called, as his orgasm rocked him, fluids sliding down the shower drain.

He was ashamed of himself. It hadn't taken long for him to be completely obsessed with Grimmjow...again. Ichigo thought he had left this kind of behavior behind in his high school days, but obviously he hadn't. He sighed disgustedly, as he cleaned himself, and washed his hair. _Jerking off to a very straight man, Ichigo? Why not just clap yourself in irons with an itching foot, while you're at it? Such was the fucking torture_.

Ichigo quickly dressed in a form-fitting, light-blue, long-sleeved thermal shirt, stone-washed blue jeans, and light-blue and white high-top Converse sneakers. He grabbed a white hoodie and his wallet, then left his apartment, headed for Seireitei. _Maybe now he wouldn't be all horny the minute he saw Grimmjow_. Immediately after the thought crossed his mind, he snorted. _Yeah fucking right_.

XOXOXO

_He was surprised, to say the least_. It had taken Ichigo over three months to actually call, and Grimmjow had already dismissed it, thinking the orange-haired kid either didn't want to talk, or he'd lost his number.

Then he called, out of the blue, to invite him out drinking with him and his crazy ass friend, Hirako. If he was honest with himself, which he always tried to be, he had been happy to hear from Ichigo. He knew the red head needed a friend besides Hirako, and he was ok with being that.

He knew Ichigo was gay, but so far he hadn't seen any signs of him liking Grimmjow _that way_ , which was a relief. He wasn't sure how he would deal with that kind of situation. _That's not to say that he had something against it, he just...it was hard to explain_.

He pulled into the parking lot of Seireitei, cut the engine, and climbed out. He'd decided to go casual, wearing a pale-green t-shirt under a black hoodie, dark-blue jeans, and simple black high-top Converse sneakers.

Grimmjow made his way to the entrance of the popular club, thanking his luck that the bouncer was an old friend from high school.

"Yo, Yammy, how goes it?" he asked. Yammy's eyes lit up, as he reached forward, pulling Grimmjow into a back-breaking hug. _The friendly giant had always been a tad over-exuberant_.

"Grimmjow! It's been a while!" he said loudly, making Grimmjow wince through a smile.

"Yeah, how's your family?"

Grimmjow recalled Yammy dropping out of his last year of high school, because he'd gotten a girl pregnant. Instead of disowning the girl, he had left school to get a job, and help take care of the her and their child. _A boy, if he remembered correctly_. When they turned eighteen, Yammy had married the girl, and they'd been together ever since.

"Ther' good. Kano's turning five this year, and Seri's pregnant again," Yammy answered with a huge grin.

"Oh! Congrats, man."

Yammy just nodded and stepped back, releasing the burgundy-colored velvet rope, allowing Grimmjow access. Right before Grimmjow disappeared inside, Yammy caught his attention with one last statement.

"Saw a friend a' yers earlier. She might still be inside," he said with a wink, before turning back to the long line of people waiting to get inside.

Grimmjow walked away wearing a slight frown. _He really hoped it wasn't someone he wasn't in the mood to see_. Making his way past the crowded dance floor, he spotted the familiar head of bright orange hair seated at the bar and smiled. _Ichigo would be impossible to lose in a crowd_.

He sidled up beside him, noticing Ichigo hadn't realized he was there yet, but Hirako had. Grimmjow shook his head slightly, grinning the entire time, as he leaned down to the red head's ear.

"Yo," he stated.

Ichigo whipped his head around, chocolate-brown eyes terrifyingly wide, and full, slightly pinkened lips parted. _Wait...what?_ Grimmjow shook his head as if to clear it, and lifted a brow.

"Did I scare ya?" Ichigo just shook his head, a faint blush spreading across his cheeks.

"N-no."

Grimmjow noticed Hirako glaring at him with narrowed eyes, and wondered what the hell he'd done wrong. _It was just a fucking joke_. He took a seat next to Ichigo and studied him, his gaze raking his face. Grimmjow had a more pressing issue at the moment.

It was becoming obvious that he found Ichigo...attractive...as far as guys went. _Why? He had no clue_. He had never found other guys attractive, cool-looking maybe, but not attractive, not even Stark, and he'd seen chicks literally swooning over him.

 _So...why now? What was different about Ichigo?_ He was slim, toned, and kind of on the smaller side at 5'9". He had bright orange hair that stuck up in spiky waves, but covered his brow at the same time. _Ah, there it was_. His eyes pulled Grimmjow in like a magnet. They were a soft, nut-brown, and were extremely expressive. Ichigo wore his emotions in those...captivating eyes, and it intrigued him.

Grimmjow noticed Ichigo shifting on the high bar stool, and realized that he'd been staring rather intently. Embarrassed, and more than a little disturbed, he turned to the bartender, a pretty red head with huge tits. She was smiling saucily, as she leaned against the wooden counter, showing her abundance of cleavage.

"What can I get ya, stud?" she husked. Grimmjow smiled, showing off sharp canines, and leaned forward as well.

"I'll have whatever my friend here is having," he answered, inclining his head towards Ichigo.

"How appropriate," she chuckled. Grimmjow frowned slightly, then turned to face Ichigo, who was now ten shades of red, and wouldn't meet his eyes.

"What's that?" he inquired, eyeing the electric blue drink. Ichigo mumbled something, and shifted in his seat, but Grimmjow didn't hear him. "What?"

"It's a Blue Motherfucker."

Grimmjow's eyes widened, his lips parted, and his breath caught, before he burst into hysterical laughter. He wiped tears from the corners of his eyes, before shrugging.

"Yeah, I guess it is appropriate," he said, still spastically chuckling.

"You have _no_ idea," Hirako added, sourly. _Was it him, or did Hirako seem more disagreeable than normal tonight?_

"What's your problem, Hirako? Stark holding back on the dick er somethin'?" Grimmjow was irritated as hell. He didn't even know what he'd done to piss off the slim blond, but he wasn't going to just sit back and be his bitch.

Hirako gave him a withering glare, and worked his mouth, definitely raring to give a sound tongue lashing, when Ichigo reached out and touched his shoulder. Hirako immediately calmed down, but his glare didn't lessen one bit.

"Grimmjow, you-" Hirako started, but again, Ichigo interfered.

"Shin," was uttered sternly, completely shutting Hirako's mouth.

"Fine...baka. I don't know why you're doin' this to yourself," the blond muttered, before sipping his cranberry-colored drink.

Grimmjow was confused, but he was more pissed than anything. _What the fuck was Hirako going on about? Why the fuck was he so ticked? And what the fuck did it have to do with Ichigo?_

 _Fuck, he was getting a headache and hadn't even started drinking yet_. Speaking of which, the busty red head placed the same drink Ichigo was sipping from, right in front of him, the sturdy glass landing with a solid "clunk".

He took a tentative sip, and his eyebrows flew to his hairline in astonishment. He normally didn't do fruity drinks and shit, but this...this was fruity, but strong as hell. _He liked it_. Giving the flirty red head an appreciative grin, he turned back to Ichigo.

"How've ya been?" he asked carefully, trying to break the suddenly tense atmosphere. Ichigo shrugged, swirling his drink around in the glass.

"I've been ok. You?" It was stiff and unnatural, and Grimmjow didn't like it.

"I would be better if ya loosened up a bit. I don't know what's going on with Hirako, but shit suddenly feels...hostile. I could leave if ya want," he answered, but low enough so that only Ichigo could hear.

Grimmjow looked on curiously, as Ichigo averted his gaze, blushing, before shaking his head slowly, as if it had been forced.

"I don't want you to leave. Shin is just in a pissy mood, that's all."

"Ok. So, wha-"

"Grimmjow?" a throaty, feminine voice called from behind.

Grimmjow turned to face the woman, and felt shock ripple through him, from the tips of his hair to the soles of his feet.

"H-Hal?"

Halibel grinned, nodding slowly as she edged closer. He couldn't believe it. He hadn't seen Halibel since their second year of college, when she'd left to study overseas. They had been an item, but after a few months agreed to be on more casual, but still intimate terms. Then she'd left without so much as a "good-bye" or a "see ya later".

Suddenly, she was right in front of him, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly. He hugged her back loosely, not wanting to give off the impression that everything was all fine. _He was still angry about how she'd left_.

"I didn't think I'd be seeing you tonight," she murmured against his ear, sending involuntary shivers up his spine.

"Yeah, imagine that," he responded dryly, as he pried her away from his neck. She stepped back, and actually had the nerve to look surprised. "I wanna introduce you to a friend of mine," he said, looking over to Ichigo, only to find the red head gone, and Hirako glaring daggers...again.

_Where the hell had Ichigo gone? And what the fuck was up with Hirako and the mean mug?_

XOXOXO

Ichigo was fighting actual tears. _It was fucking deja vu. Christmas Eve of 2004 all over again_. He couldn't breathe, and the aching lump in his throat was becoming unbearable, as he leaned over the sink of the club's bathroom.

This whole night turned out to be one big fucking failure. First with Shinji creating an extremely hostile environment, then with Grimmjow's blonde girlfriend showing up. Ichigo could understand Shinji's anger; he was only looking out for him, after all, but, Grimmjow had no idea how Ichigo felt about him, and he wanted to keep it that way.

Things probably could've been fixed from that point, but once the blonde had shown up, Ichigo lost all desire to try to patch up the intense atmosphere. He'd been instantly assualted with images from that Christmas Eve, when he'd seen his blue-haired crush kissing that very blonde.

Ichigo knew he was being irrational, but he couldn't help the overwhelming feeling of his heart being tortured with a hot metal poker. After mumbling an excuse of needing to use the bathroom to Shinji, he'd hurried to the facilities before Grimmjow could notice his absence... _if he even did_.

He swallowed, gulping in deep breaths of air, not caring that he was in the men's restroom. Suddenly, a stall door was kicked open with unnecessary force, making it crash against the wall. Ichigo jerked his head up to see who the idiot causing the commotion was, and his breath stalled in his chest upon recognizing the man.

"Oh-ho! Looky here, if it ain't my lucky night!" the bald man emerging from the stall, cooed.

"Ikkaku," Ichigo growled.

Ikkaku's eyes were glazed and wild, as if he were high on something, what Ichigo didn't know, nor did he fucking care. Without warning, Ikkaku lunged forward, shoving Ichigo against the restroom wall, making him hit his head hard enough to see stars.

While he was stunned, Ikkaku fisted his hair, and painfully pulled him out of the bathroom, into the dimly lit corridor, and out of a side door that led into a darkened alley beside the club.

Ikkaku immediately punched Ichigo in the stomach, making him double over, but for some reason, Ichigo was feeling no pain, as thoughts and images of the night he was almost beaten to death, flooded his brain. Adrenaline surged through him, dwarfing the light buzz he'd been feeling, and making him, instead, feel drunk with bloodlust.

Ikkaku moved in to land another blow, when Ichigo shot to his full height, and planted a fist in the bald fuck's face. Ikkaku stumbled back against the wall of the building opposite the club, grabbing his nose, and cursing colorfully. Ichigo was crazed with the want to feel bones cracking from his efforts, making him look positively insane, as he drove his fist into Ikkaku's face over...and over...and over...until the bald was completely still, no longer responding to Ichigo's brutal beating. He didn't care. He needed to release his anger somewhere, and Ikkaku, the dumb shit, had presented himself as the perfect outlet.

Suddenly, a thick pair of arms curved under his armpits, lifting them and effectively trapping him in a sleeper hold. Ichigo twisted, thrashing and kicking wildly, thinking that this was another attacker, until a deep, soothing voice murmured in his ear for the second time that night.

"Ichigo, calm down. Relax, he's out of it."

 _Grimmjow. This man had been half of the reason for his blinding fury_. He again started thrashing about, trying to get the blue-haired man to release him, but this time for entirely different reasons.

"Let me go, Grimmjow. I'm done with that fucker," he growled. Grimmjow slowly relinquished his hold, and Ichigo fixed his clothing, angrily yanking down the sleeves of his hoodie.

Suddenly, Shinji lurched forward to grasp his arm, steering him towards the mouth of the alley. It had been bad enough seeing the blonde and Grimmjow reunite, but now seeing her tagging along behind the blue-haired man, wearing a sympathetic expression, only ticked Ichigo off more.

"C'mon, Ichi, let's get you home," Shinji crooned.

"I could give ya a ride-" Grimmjow started, but Ichigo cut across him coldly.

"No, I'm good."

 _He didn't care how Grimmjow took it. Ichigo was tired of this unrequited love bullshit!_ It sucked all sorts of ass, and he was through dealing with it. Grimmjow was a straight fucking man, and Ichigo would just have to accept that fact, and move the hell on, even if it did take some brain bludgeoning.

XOXOXO

Grimmjow was speechless. He didn't know whether to be upset or impressed at the moment, although, he was definitely leaning more towards impressed. Also, and he would never admit it out loud, he was turned the fuck on. Seeing Ichigo in a blood rage had lit him on fire from the inside out, as well as giving him goosebumps, and making the hairs on his neck stand at attention.

He and Hirako seemed to notice at the same time, the length of Ichigo's absence, and had gone to search for him. Hirako checked the bathroom, but Grimmjow had noticed the side door swinging slightly from recent use, so, he'd gone outside, in case Ichigo had left the club in search of fresh air.

Halibel was following close behind him, completely annoying him, and he'd started to say something about it, when his eyes landed on the bald punk that had been in on Ichigo's beating that night in October. When the bald guy landed a blow to Ichigo's gut, Grimmjow had started forward to interfere, but Ichigo retaliated, catching the bald in the face with a sharp right punch.

He'd been stunned when Ichigo began beating the holy hell off of the bald guy, but when the man became immobile, he had to stop it, lest Ichigo kill him, and the bald wasn't worth going to jail over.

The next few moments happened so quickly, that he only remembered standing, frozen in shock, as Hirako led Ichigo away from the alley. _He had never seen anything more beautiful in his life_. The fire, the wildness, the passion he'd seen in Ichigo's normally soft brown eyes, gave him an embarrassing boner.

Ichigo was more than capable of taking care of himself, and Grimmjow respected that. More than that though, he was immensely proud. Halibel crept forward, and looped an arm through his, leaning against his side, but he slowly disengaged her arm, and stepped away.

"I'm goin' home, Hal, I'll catch up with ya some other time," Grimmjow mumbled, stuffing his hands in his pockets, and slowly ambling away.

Grimmjow had some thinking to do, and it certainly didn't involve the blonde, currently watching him. It had everything to do with an intriguing ass orange-haired kid named Ichigo Kurosaki.


	7. Blinded

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or the song mentioned...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_Hey, slow it down_

_Whataya want from me?_

_Whataya want from me?_

_Yeah, I'm afraid_

_Whataya want from me?_

_Whataya want from me?_

_There might have been a time when I would give myself away_

_Oh, once upon a time, I didn't give a damn_

_But now, here we are, so whataya want from me?_

_Whataya want from me?_

_Just don't give up, I'm workin' it out_

_Please don't give in, I won't let you down_

_It messed me up, need a second to breathe_

_Just keep comin' around_

_Hey, whataya want from me?_

_Whataya want from me?_

_Whataya want from me?_

_Yeah, it's plain to see_

_That baby you're beautiful,_

_And there's nothin' wrong with you_

_It's me_

_I'm a freak, yeah_

_But thanks for lovin' me_

_'Cause you're doin' it perfectly_

_Yeah, there might have been a time_

_When I would let you slip away_

_I wouldn't even try_

_But I think you could save my life_

_Just don't give up, I'm workin' it out_

_Please don't give in, I won't let you down_

_It messed me up, need a second to breathe_

_Just keep comin' around_

_Hey, whataya want from me?_

_Whataya want from me?_

_Whataya want from me?_

_Whataya want from me?_

_Whataya want from me?_

_Just don't give up on me_

_I won't let you down_

_No, I won't let you down_

_And so just don't give up, I'm workin' out_

_Please don't give in, I won't let you down_

_It messed me up, need a second to breathe_

_Just keep comin' around_

_Hey, whataya want from me?_

_Just don't give up, I'm workin' it out_

_Please don't give in, I won't let you down_

_It messed me up, need a second to breathe_

_Just keep comin' around_

_Hey, whataya want from me?_

_-Adam Lambert_

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_April 2008_

Rukia aimlessly strolled down the street, quietly fuming, kicking at stray pebbles that dared cross her path. Renji was getting worse. His nightmares were becoming a daily thing, and he was pulling away from her more and more with each passing day. She had no idea how to reach him, and it frustrated her on so many fucking levels, because...she loved him. She loved him so much, it physically hurt, but he was so caught up in his grief over the loss of his friendship with Ichigo, that he barely acknowledged her anymore.

She made her way into a deserted park, ambling past a dilapidated set of swings, rusted monkey bars, and a leaning slide. She spotted a wooden bench near a merry-go-round, and plopped onto it, hanging her head as she did.

 _She missed the Renji that had asked her out Christmas Eve of 2004. The Renji that used to kiss her and hold her, telling her how much she meant to him_. Two, fat tears rolled down her cheeks, dripped from her chin, and landed on her khaki capri pants, the stain slowly spreading outwards, as her tears began to fall in earnest.

Renji was a ghost, a mere shell of the boy he used to be, and it ate at her. She, not only didn't recognize him, but was reluctantly becoming aware of the fact that Renji didn't love her anymore. If he did, he had a strange way of showing it. Their relationship had become nothing more than a farce, with her clinging to the hope of him snapping out of whatever it was that he was going through.

Rukia had even tried to help him, but that had only resulted in him further withdrawing from her, and none of this would be happening if Ichigo wasn't gay. Rukia had an idea of why Renji despised gays, from the mutterings of his nightmares. Once he had even called out a man's name, afterwards claiming he didn't want to kiss "that", because it was wrong.

All she could do was assume from that point on, since Renji refused to talk to her about it. Hell, he barely even looked at her, let alone talking, but...she couldn't leave him. Especially the way he was now. She'd be driven mad with guilt and regret, knowing she had deserted him at a time that he obviously needed her the most, even if he couldn't see it.

Rukia scrunched her eyes closed tightly, digging the heels of her hands into them. _How was this fair? Why wouldn't Renji just talk to her? She could help him, she was sure of it, but he just needed to trust her, instead of pushing her away_. Even Ikkaku and Kira noticed his increasingly odd behavior, having come to her asking if everything was alright.

_What could she say...except "yes"?_

Just because she had an inkling of what the red-haired man was going through, it didn't justify telling others, friends or not.

 _Friends_.

Rukia felt her chest tighten, and her stomach clench painfully, as memories of her old friends washed over her, drowning her in pain and regret.

_Orihime...Tatsuki...Ishida...Chad..._

XOXOXO

_Second Year_

_Karakura High School_

_July 2005_

_Summer Break_

_The doorbell echoed persistently throughout the massive mansion, demanding it's summons be answered that very moment. Where the hell was Ide? He normally answered the door before the bell could even finish it's chiming._

_Rukia sighed heavily, treading none too lightly through the sitting room, and into the foyer. She wrenched the door open, only to stumble backwards from an armful of sobbing red head._

_Alarm coursed through her, as they tumbled to the floor, landing in an undignified heap. Renji clung to her like a wet leaf, shaking and crying uncontrollably, and damn was he heavy._

_"Renji! What the hell is going on?"_

_She didn't know why she'd expected an answer from the red head in his state, but...he was scaring the hell out of her. Renji had never been anything but a loud, abrasive idiot with a kind heart, so to see him broken in such a manner was disturbing, to say the least._

_"Renji!" she tried again._

_He just continued to weep brokenly, making Rukia's eyes tear up as well. What the hell could have hurt him so badly?_

_She rolled them into a sitting position, then stood, trying to get Renji to his feet. It was useless. He was just too big, and way too heavy to be lifted alone, especially by her._

_"Renji, let's go somewhere more private, and you can tell me what happened then," she urged, as she caught sight of Ide finally rounding the corner._

_Renji's sobs had calmed, but only a little. He was still hiccupping pitifully, and tears continued to track down his face, as he glanced up at her with sad russett-colored eyes._

_"Y-yeah," he croaked, and slowly climbed to his feet._

_Rukia grabbed his hand, leading him away from the foyer, and up the stairs to her bedroom, where they could have some privacy. She loved Ide like an uncle, but he was rather loyal to her older brother, and had no qualms going to him with EVERYTHING._

_Once inside her room, she turned, locked the door, then steered a stiff Renji to the bed. He sat heavily, sighing in the same fashion, as he stared listlessly at his hands that rested in his lap. Rukia settled beside him, trying to wait patiently for him to speak._

_After what seemed like hours, Renji sniffed loudly, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, then turned his haunted gaze to her._

_"Ichigo is gay," was all he stated, and quite frankly, it confused her._

_Actually, she had suspected as much, when Ichigo started hanging out with that older blond boy. She didn't think that was a reason for Renji to have been sobbing like the apocalypse was upon them. Of course, she knew that Renji had a problem with the blond, but she thought it was because he was so...in-your-face._

_Taking one glance at Renji, though, she decided to keep her mouth shut, and just wait for the rest of the tale. She wasn't going to risk their relationship over one dumb statement._

_"I fuckin' walked in on him gettin'...gettin' his dick sucked by that idiot Keigo. Then when I left, h-he chased me...touched me," Renji shuddered, but continued. "Told me he was gay. I-I couldn't believe it! I still can't! H-he told me he wasn't! He lied to me! My best fuckin' friend, a goddamned fag!"_

_Rukia cocked her head to the side, and studied her boyfriend. Why did Renji hold such distaste for being gay? Her thoughts were cut off when he kept speaking._

_"Then-then I told him we weren't friends anymore, a-and he hit me! The fucker hit me! I'll kill him! How? How could he betray me like that?"_

_Renji had gone quiet again, leaving Rukia to her baffling thoughts, as she climbed to her knees, and circled a small arm around his wide shoulders. It was all she could do. She really wanted to ask Renji why the hell he would stop speaking to his own best friend, but fear stilled her tongue. She'd liked Renji ever since she'd first met him, the like growing into love over time, and now that she finally had him, she was reluctant to let go._

_"Renji, I-I don't understand," she said softly, as she pressed her lips to his temple. "Why would Ichigo lie to you?"_

_"'Cause he's not just a queer, he's a fuckin' coward too!" he snarled, making chills rush down her spine._

_Renji was so angry, angrier than she had ever seen him, and it was scary. Dread began filling her petite form, as she realized the implications. If she wanted to stay with Renji, then she would have to stop talking to Ichigo, as well. That, itself, wasn't really a bad thing, since she and Ichigo were more acquaintances than friends. She had been the one to keep their friendship cold and distant, because of her jealousy. She didn't like the way Ichigo had monopolized Renji's time, or the way he seemed to mean more to the red head than she did._

_That didn't mean she wanted to alienate Ichigo, because that would mean she would lose her other friends. Orihime and Tatsuki, Ishida and Chad. The girls were like her sisters, and to lose them would be hard on her, probably harder than anything she had ever done._

_Then her eyes lighted on Renji's, and her heart and resolve hardened. She would follow him into hell if he asked her to._

XOXOXO

_Second Year_

_Karakura High School_

_September 2005_

_"YOU FUCKIN' BITCH!" Tatsuki screamed at her._

_Rukia curled up in a ball on the ground, as Tatsuki kicked her in her side. God, the pain! She knew the girl was strong, but this was ridiculous! She just knew she had a broken rib or something!_

_But she deserved it. Every little bit of this beating, she would take, and pray that she survived, because she deserved it._

_Chad had been the first to find out about her and Renji's rejection of Ichigo and his lifestyle. She, Renji and their two friends, Ikkaku and Kira, had been out for a walk, when they'd spotted Ichigo walking across the street. Without warning, Renji had taken off towards the orange-haired boy, catching him off guard, and completely overwhelming him. It hadn't stopped there, because seconds later, Ikkaku and Kira joined him._

_All she had done was watch wordlessly._

_Then, out of nowhere, Chad appeared and peeled the three zealous boys off of Ichigo, giving herself and Renji a murderous glare with his visible eye. He hadn't said anything; he'd just helped Ichigo to his feet, and the two of them walked off into the distance, Chad supporting the orange-haired teen._

_Rukia knew right then that their friendship was dead. All that needed to be done was the spreading of the news. Once it had, her world turned upside down. She, Renji, Ikkaku and Kira had been walking home together after school, when she had been kicked square between the shoulder blades, and sent skidding to the ground._

_Before the others could act, they had been subdued by Ishida, Chad, and the blond, whose name she soon found was Shinji. They were pissed off, and it showed, but what scared Rukia the most was the look on Tatsuki's face, as she glared down at her._

_Her teeth were bared in a fierce snarl, her brows drawn together in a deep scowl, and her nostrils flared wide, as she fisted her hands at her sides. Orihime stood beside her looking disappointed and pissed, all at the same time._

_"What the fuck?" Tatsuki yelled. "What. The. Fuck? You pathetic pieces of garbage! All of you! But you two," she pointed at Rukia and Renji, "are worse than garbage! You're scum! Fuckin'-fuckin'...diseased rats!" she shrieked, eyes wild, and utterly terrifying._

_"Tatsuki-chan," Orihime soothed, but Tatsuki was beyond reparation, as she shrugged away Orihime's outstretched hand._

_"Fuck that! You were his fuckin' friends! And-and because he's GAY, you turned into a bunch of pussies and jumped him? What's next, ya gonna jump me too? I'm GAY! Gonna kick my head in? Fuckin' cowards! Weaklings! You know one-on-one, Ichigo would stomp mudholes in all a'yer asses!" Tatsuki fumed._

_"Fuck you!" Renji snapped, but Shinji elbowed him in the mouth._

_"Shut the fuck up, prick. Be glad I don't kill you for what you did to Ichi," he said calmly. Quietly. Deadly._

_"And you!" Tatsuki pointed at Rukia, making her cringe. "You sat back and watched your boyfriend beat the shit outta our friend?" her voice heavy on the sarcasm at the word "boyfriend". "YOU FUCKIN' BITCH!"_

_Rukia's side was suddenly assaulted by Tatsuki's well-trained foot. She curled up in a tight ball, covering her head with her arms, as she anticipated the next blow, but...it never came. She peeked through the space between her elbows to see Orihime with her arms wrapped around an irate Tatsuki's waist, eyes wide with fear._

_"Tatsuki-chan! Please, stop! They're not worth it!" she cried._

_Tatsuki paused, then stood still as she glared bloody murder at Rukia. Rukia cringed again, but kept her eyes open._

_"I'm going overseas for competitions, so I won't be back until the start of college, but...if I come back and hear you did something else to Ichigo while I was away, you'll have to deal with me, Rukia, and you don't want that," Tatsuki stated deadly serious._

_After that, they all shoved off, leaving a bloody-faced Renji, and pissed off Ikkaku and Kira in their wake. Rukia was just glad that she had escaped with her face, as well as her body, in tact. She knew life was only going to get more complicated as time went on. At this, she glanced at Renji to see him absolutely livid. Make that extremely complicated._

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_April 2008_

_How right she had been_. Her love for Renji kept her by his side, but things had gotten out of control rather quickly. The funny thing was, she didn't feel any remorse for beating Ichigo the way they did; she actually felt better at those times. Renji's deterioration was his fault as it was, and she was happier knowing Ichigo was paying for what he did.

Although the repercussions of her actions had been rather severe. _Especially with her brother_. She remembered the look of disappointment he wore when he found out what she had been a part of, and the reasons for her involvement. Then he had gone on to reveal to her his sexual orientation by introducing her to his lover, Kenpachi Zaraki. _What a mind-blower that had been_.

Byakuya then kicked her out, claiming that she had no place in his home if she hated his preference. That was when she had moved in with Renji. She'd been hurt and depressed for weeks, but eventually moved on.

Rukia rose from the hard bench, and started off in the direction of her and Renji's apartment. She didn't really want to go back. _Hell, they didn't even sleep in the same room anymore_.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_April 2008_

Ichigo felt a lot better-well, not really a lot-but better, at any rate. He refused to sit around moping, pining for a man that had no clue of his feelings, and even if he did, it wouldn't matter one bit because the man was straight. It was frustrating, but he would survive this, and move the hell on. _It was his only option_.

That night, after he and Shinji had left the club, he'd made a promise to himself. Stay the fuck away from straight men. Shinji had torn into him, cursing him out, and yelling that he'd brought it on himself, which was true, but how the hell was he supposed to know things would turn out that badly? _Seriously._

Ichigo had dealt with the verbal-and sometimes physical-abuse, until Shinji got tired and left, calling it a night.

Ichigo immersed himself in his online classes, and had even gotten a pretty decent job. Well, as far as pay went, anyway. He worked as a manager in a video game store, and no, he didn't even have experience as one, but the owner, Kisuke Urahara, had insisted he take the position, explaining to him that it was "easy as pie"-whatever that meant.

So, he had, and he had to admit, it really was easy, not to mention fun. He got to test all the newest games in order to be able to recommend or not recommend certain games to the customers.

It helped pass the time, as well as take his mind off of a certain blue-haired man. Grimmjow had been calling him almost every other day, but Ichigo ignored his calls. He was well aware of the glaring fact, that he was unable to be the man's friend, and nothing else. He would always want more, and since that wasn't going to happen, he would stay away.

 _Grimmjow was a persistent bastard, though_.

So many times, Ichigo had just wanted to answer the calls and be done with it, but that would only set him back. Hearing his voice would certainly do him in, and start him right back on that self-destructive path. No, thank you. That was precisely the reason Ichigo deleted all of Grimmjow's messages without bothering to listen to them.

Shinji had dropped by with the news of a graduation party, and had asked him if he wanted to go, but when Ichigo asked if Grimmjow would be there, he declined upon receiving an affirmative answer. He definitely wasn't ready to see the man, and he just knew if he had gone, the blue-haired man would've made it his business to corner him, until he had spoken.

It also hadn't escaped him that Grimmjow had purchased a building in the downtown area. Renovations had begun for the new place, and it was obvious that he was keeping his word about owning a club. Whether he still intended for it to be for the gay crowd, had yet to be seen.

A sudden knocking drew Ichigo from his musings, and for a minute, he just stared at the door, before finally going to open it. Once he did, his mouth fell open in delighted shock.

"Tatsuki!" he shouted, making the raven-haired girl wince through a smile.

"In the flesh."

She closed the space between them, and gave Ichigo a tight hug. _He didn't mind_. She was one of his closest friends, and he hadn't seen her since she'd left to go compete overseas, almost two years ago. She pulled away from him, and stepped into the apartment, as he shut the door.

"When did you get back?" he asked, taking a seat on the love seat, while she sat on the couch.

"Yesterday. Thought I'd come give ya a holler. How has everything been?"

The look she was giving him told him that she was aware of the ongoing bullshit with Renji and the other three. She wasn't happy either. He shifted in his spot, and averted his gaze. Tatsuki's stern face was pretty scary.

"Ichigo," she prodded, and he huffed out an exasperated sigh.

"It's fine, Tatsuki. I haven't even seen them since October. Well, no, I beat the shit outta Ikkaku in February, but other than that...nothing. So, don't worry about it."

"Like hell! I _told_ Rukia I would beat her every shade of black and blue if she touched you again!" she hissed. Ichigo gave her a blank stare.

"Why, thanks for the vote of confidence, Tatsuki. That makes me feel so much better," he said dryly.

"Oh, can it, Kurosaki! Ya know you're not hittin' a girl. Now me, on the other hand, that's my specialty."

Tatsuki grinned, making the hairs on the back of Ichigo's neck stand up. _That was why she was so fucking scary_.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_April 2008_

Grimmjow was seated on his terrace, smoking a cigarette, and thinking about Ichigo. _It had been this way since that night at the club, and he feared he had become...god, he hated thinking it...but it was true. He was fucking obsessed with the orange-haired boy_. He angrily stabbed the cigarette into the ashtray beside him, and immediately lit up again.

_How had it come to this, you ask?_

That night had been an eye-opener for him in several ways. He had realized how beautiful-yes, he said beautiful, don't judge him-Ichigo was. He had _never_ been attracted to another man before, but he was definitely attracted to Ichigo. He no longer felt bad for the kid, but he did feel proud. It was obvious from the fight with the bald guy, that Ichigo could more than take care of himself, and if those cowards hadn't have jumped him, they would have been on the receiving end of that beating in October.

Ichigo plagued his thoughts, confusing him. _Did that mean he was gay? He'd never slept with a guy, obviously, so wasn't he still straight? And what the fuck? He wasn't even attracted to men, he was attracted to Ichigo. So, did that still qualify him as being gay? Fuck_.

He would never have a chance to figure it out, though, because Ichigo was avoiding him like he was a bill collector, and it pissed him the fuck off.

Grimmjow had left a message inviting Ichigo to his graduation and the party afterwards. He'd even left a message telling Ichigo he was opening his club soon, with the financial help of his dad. Come to think of it, he'd left him countless fucking messages, and the orange-haired kid didn't even have the decency to return his calls. _And yet...he still wanted to talk to him. Wanted_ him.

Grimmjow grimaced, as he stubbed out his second cigarette. He didn't even know who the hell he was anymore, such was the way Ichigo had his head reeling.

More than anything, though, he just wanted to see Ichigo. Maybe if he saw him again, perhaps had a chance to sit and talk to him, then he would be able to sort out his jumbled up thoughts.

Not to mention, even if Ichigo was gay, that didn't mean he would want him. Grimmjow was aware that he was an asshole at times, but he was a good-looking one. _At least he thought so. Women did too, but...did Ichigo? Fuck_.

Grimmjow left the terrace, re-entering his apartment to see his friends still milling about. Nnoitra and Ulquiorra were seated on the couch next to Szayel, and Stark was sitting next to Hirako on the love seat.

 _Hirako_. That little blond bastard had been the bane of his existence, since that night at the club. Grimmjow had never been on the receiving end of that many death glares in his life, and it was pissing him off.

Hirako never said anything either, he would just openly glare, like he was doing right then. Grimmjow had been on his way to the kitchen for a beer, when something snapped inside of him, and he took it out on the slim blond.

"Why the fuck do you keep lookin' at me like that?" he snarled, standing behind the love seat. Stark shifted to glance back at him.

"Grimm, it's cool," he said tiredly. _What?_

"No. The fuck. It isn't. What's your problem? You've been extra vaginal since Seireitei," Grimmjow continued.

Suddenly, Hirako was over the back of the love seat, pressing Grimmjow against the wall, wearing a fierce scowl. Grimmjow was no pushover, on top of being all-around bigger than the blond, but Hirako was...oddly strong as shit. The little fucker had his shirt bunched at the collar, as he held him against the wall.

"You're so fuckin' dense, Grimmjow!" Hirako snarled.

"What the fuck is your problem, Hirako? And get the fuck off me!" he snapped, trying to pry the blond's steel-like grip from the front of his shirt. Hirako shoved him against the wall even harder.

"Do you have _any_ idea how _long_ and _hard_ Ichigo has _loved_ you? And you're so fuckin' _obtuse_ , it makes me sick to my stomach!"

Grimmjow couldn't move, couldn't speak, hell, he couldn't even breathe. _Ichigo...what?_ Finally gathering his bearings, he shoved Hirako away from him, and ran a hand through his already disheveled hair, his eyes wide, as he stared down at the floor.

 _Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. No wonder everytime he saw him, Ichigo was a blundering mess. No wonder Ichigo didn't want to speak to him anymore_. He probably felt like Grimmjow had been leading him on with his kindness. And Hal. _Oh, shit_.

Grimmjow swiped a hand across his mouth, as he frowned. _How the fuck could he have been so fucking_ blind _? Why hadn't he seen it?_ Then something occurred to him, so he turned back to Hirako.

"Yo," he started quietly, "how long?"

Hirako continued glaring, as he shook his head in what could only be disgust, but Grimmjow needed an answer.

"Ichigo has fuckin' loved your idiot ass since junior high! How could you not see that? He-he's gonna kill me, but...he adores you, Grimmjow. He put himself through torture, because, even though he knew you were straight, he still wanted you. I hate seein' him so fuckin' sad. He deserves to be happy too," Hirako ranted.

 _He was an idiot. A big, fucking idiot_.

Grimmjow went to the door, slipping his feet into a pair of old, black and white Converse sneakers, and pulling on a black hoodie.

"Where the fuck're ya goin'?" Nnoitra called.

"Out," he answered, before slipping from the apartment.

Grimmjow rushed to his car, sliding a few times in the pouring rain. _Ichigo_.


	8. Underneath It All

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or song mentioned...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_You're really lovely_

_Underneath it all_

_You want to love me_

_Underneath it all_

_I'm really lucky_

_Underneath it all_

_You're really lovely_

_-No Doubt-_

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_April 2008_

Grimmjow tried not to put his foot through the floor of his Nissan Maxima, as he drove towards Ichigo's apartment. The only thing keeping him from disrespecting the speed limit was the fucking rain. It was coming down in gallons, making visibility damn near impossible, but he wasn't about to let some shitty ass water get in his way. _Not now. Not after what Hirako had told him_.

Ichigo... _shit_ , Grimmjow couldn't even bring himself to say that word. The "L" word. _Holy shit_. If he would have taken the time to actually see Ichigo, it would have been completely obvious. As he clutched the steering wheel with a white-knuckled grip, his mind brought up every instance where he and Ichigo crossed paths.

The first time had been at the beach, when Grimmjow had been in his second year of high school. He only remembered because he'd thought Ichigo's hair was strange like his and Szayel's. It wasn't everyday you saw someone with orange, pink or blue hair.

Ichigo had run right into him, and Grimmjow had noticed the look of surprise, as well as recognition, cross his face, as he helped him to his feet. He hadn't paid the orange-haired kid any mind, and dismissed the expression as Ichigo having seen him around before.

Grimmjow had seen Ichigo a couple more times around school after the beach run-in, but again, they were only short sightings, until the kid literally fell into his lap one day. They'd collided, and ended up on the ground, Ichigo lying on top of him. There had been something in the way the kid stared at him, then sat up blushing a bright, tomato red, as he looked away in what Grimmjow had assumed to be embarrassment. _Now he could probably attribute it to something else_.

They had been so close that Grimmjow had been able to see the golden flecks hidden in Ichigo's sepia-brown eyes, the cluster of freckles gathered across the bridge of his nose and cheeks, and the soft-looking texture of his slightly pink, full lips.

Grimmjow almost stomped on the brakes.

_Just how long had he found Ichigo attractive? Had...had he always found the orange-haired youth beautiful, even if only in his subconscious? Why the fuck hadn't he noticed this shit?_

_Great. He really was a fucking idiot_.

Ichigo's apartment building loomed ahead, and suddenly, his stomach filled with butterflies. _The hell?_ _He was_ not _nervous_. Yet, the butterflies had turned into large, swooping birds of prey, as Grimmjow found a parking space.

 _This was lunacy_. He had no fucking clue what he was going to say to Ichigo, who was avoiding him like the plague, and he was really starting to second-guess his extremely spur-of-the-moment decision to come to his home.

Grimmjow climbed out of his vehicle, the rain very nearly drowning him, but he ignored it. His mind was focused entirely on the situation at hand. _What would he say? Would Ichigo even see him? If he did, would he talk to him? Fuck, what the hell was he gonna say?_

Grimmjow glared at the apartment building, as if it was the culprit and cause of his displeasure, then realized that he was standing in the pouring rain, very much like a stalker, or one of those shady characters in horror films. _This was ridiculous. Man up, Jaegerjaques, time to face the music_.

He headed inside, striding through the lobby, completely ignoring the stares coming from an elderly couple, as he formed small puddles in his wake. He stood with his arms folded across his chest while he waited for the slow ass elevator, and simultaneously fought the urge to snarl at the couple staring disdainfully at him and his rain puddles.

Finally, the metal box arrived. He stepped inside with an acute feeling of dread threatening to overwhelm him, so he focused on how he would diffuse this potential explosion. _He could apologize. Hell no. Ichigo would probably kick his ass out_.

Before he could speculate further, the elevator dinged, and the doors slid open, revealing a tough-looking, dark-haired female. Her eyes widened as though she recognized him, then her face spread into a wide grin.

"Are you here to see who I think you're here to see?" she inquired.

Grimmjow frowned. _What the hell? Who was this broad?_

"Who do ya think I'm here to see?" he groused, as he stepped from the elevator, still forming wet spots on the floor. The girl cocked an eyebrow and smirked, while she boarded the vacated space.

"Cut the shit, Jaegerjaques. Either you're here for Ichigo, or you're not. Unless you know someone else on the same exact floor."

"How do you know me?" He was puzzled. He'd never seen this girl a day in his life, and here she knew his name, and who he was here to visit.

"All of Ichigo's closest friends know who _you_ are," she stated with a small grin, as the elevator doors slid shut.

 _Damn_. That just made Grimmjow feel even lower than he already did. _Fuck_. He slowly crept towards Ichigo's door, his heart thudding on his tongue, and his palms beginning to sweat. He was soaking fucking wet, but he had to do this. _He needed to do this_. He lifted his hand, and knocked on the door three times. _Here goes nothing_.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_April 2008_

Ichigo had enjoyed Tatsuki's visit, even though she'd managed to drag from him every incident, that had occurred in her absence, between he, Renji and Rukia. That was the way Tatsuki showed her concern, by trying to protect him like a mother hen. _He thought it was cute_.

Ichigo had planned to run to the store, but changed his mind once he'd seen the rain from the living room window. It was coming down pretty hard, and he had no real desire to get soaked to the bone, probably getting sick in the process.

 _He was bored_. He finally had a day off, and could think of absolutely nothing to fucking do. Shinji was hanging out with Stark, Chad was working, and the rest...well, Ishida and Inoue weren't really good company together, considering all they did was neck like horny teenagers. Not that Ichigo blamed them. They were "in love", and really didn't realize how utterly sappy they were.

Ichigo shuffled to his bedroom to change into a pair of royal-blue pajama pants, and a white t-shirt, before trudging into the kitchen. He was in the mood for some tea, so he filled a teakettle with water, and placed it on the stove to boil. _What the hell should he do?_

He'd bought a nice sized tv and decent dvd player after a couple paychecks, but he'd seen everything in his dismal movie collection already, so that wouldn't help. He sighed dejectedly. _He was such a lame-wad_.

Ichigo could've gone to visit his family, but decided he wasn't in the market for a headache, and that was precisely what he would receive for his troubles. His old man could be unbearable at the best of times.

The teakettle whistled loudly, and Ichigo removed it from the flame, placing it on a cold burner, then retrieved a mug from the overhead cabinets. After fixing his tea the way he liked-two spoons of sugar, a little honey and a slice of lemon-he moved into the living room, where he curled up on the couch.

The tea was still too hot, so he set it on the coffee table to let it cool, and reached for a book he'd been in the middle of reading for about two weeks, when knocking sounded from his door. _Who the hell?_ Ichigo glanced at his cell phone on the table and frowned in confusion. _Did Tatsuki forget something?_

Ichigo dragged himself from the couch, shuffled to the door, and yanked it open. _Fuck. So, his luck had run out then, huh_. Grimmjow stood on the other side of his door, completely soaked to the bone, a puddle of water spreading outwards from his feet, and he was wearing the strangest expression. Like he was studying Ichigo.

Grimmjow pushed his hood back, revealing his drenched blue hair that was plastered to his head, but sticking up in some places. Ichigo wanted to smile at the picture the man presented, but that wouldn't help at all. _Shit, he was already crumbling again_. He bit his lip as Grimmjow stared at him.

"How long were you planning to run and hide from me, Ichigo?" Grimmjow finally spoke. His blue eyes were so intense, more than they usually were.

"I wasn-"

"Bullshit."

Grimmjow hadn't even raised his voice, but his tone snapped and crackled like a live wire. _Fuck, Grimmjow was intimidating like that, but...but he had fought too hard to gain some type of foothold in his life, and he didn't need this asshole ruining that_.

"Why the fuck are you even here, Grimmjow?" he snapped, a bit more angrily than he'd intended. Grimmjow's pupils turned into tiny pinpricks, as he narrowed his eyes.

Without warning, Ichigo was shoved inside, as Grimmjow entered the apartment, shutting the door, and removing his shoes and hoodie in the process. Ichigo was stunned. He'd lost his balance, and ended up stumbling over the small rug in the doorway, falling solidly on his ass, where he sat staring wide-eyed up at Grimmjow.

"What the fucking hell is your problem, asshole!"

"We're gonna talk, Ichigo. You 'n me. I think it's time we did that, yeah?" Grimmjow answered, with a slightly dangerous glint in his eyes.

"T-talk?" Ichigo was...well, confused didn't quite cover it, but that was all he could come up with at the moment.

"Yeah, talk, idiot. Ya know, open your mouth and let words come out."

"Oi, fuck you!" Grimmjow gave a feral grin, as he stepped towards him. Ichigo didn't know what the hell was going on with the blue-haired man, but it was scaring him, and turning him the fuck on at the same time. _What? He couldn't help it_.

"Yeah, that's it, berry head," Grimmjow growled, and gripping Ichigo's forearm, yanked him to his feet. "Ya got a towel? Maybe some pants er somethin'?"

Grimmjow's jeans were still leaving puddles wherever he stood, so Ichigo could see the sense in getting out of them, but that didn't keep him from grumbling the entire time he went to fetch a towel, and a pair of basketball shorts and t-shirt Chad had left there ages ago. Ichigo had washed them, thinking his friend would come back to retrieve the clothes, but he never had, and they'd sat on the shelf at the top of the closet ever since.

When Ichigo ambled back into the living room, he almost passed out from the sight that greeted him. _Grimmjow was trying to kill him_. The blue-haired man stood in the front of the couch, shirtless, and only clad in a pair of pale blue boxers, sleek muscles displayed in abundance. All of the blood in Ichigo's body was in danger of simultaneously leaking from his nose, and pooling in his groin. _Fucking hell_.

Trying to keep a shred of his dignity in tact, he lay the clothes on the back of the love seat, and hands trembling uncontrollably, turned his back to Grimmjow.

"Y-you know, the bathroom is right through here. You could've gone in there...or something," Ichigo's voice trailed off pitifully, as he bit his lip. _Good grief. That image would be burned into his brain forever_.

"Chill, Ichigo, it's not like I'm naked er anything."

Since Ichigo had his back turned, he missed the wicked grin Grimmjow was wearing, as he dressed in the given clothes. As it was, he was too busy having a panic attack, trying to figure out what it was that the insensitive prick wanted to talk about.

"Yo, come sit down, I'm done," Grimmjow's deep voice seemed to stroke his spine.

Ichigo stiffly complied, still too afraid to meet the piercing blue gaze that was surely dissecting him at the moment. _This was so fucking awkward_.

"What the hell do you wanna talk about, Grimmjow?"

"Ok, smartass, let's start with why the fuck you were avoiding me like a little bitch!"

This snapped Ichigo's eyes to Grimmjow's in an instant. _Who the fuck did this guy think he was?_ He had no idea how hard it had been for Ichigo to not constantly obsess about him. To not fill almost every waking moment with thoughts of "why couldn't he be gay?".

"You don't know what the fuck I've been through, so don't fuckin' talk to me like you do!" Ichigo snapped, clenching his fists at the sides of his thighs.

"What the fuck does that have to do with me?" Ichigo surged to his feet, his face twisted in pain.

"IT HAS EVERY-FUCKIN'-THING TO DO WITH YOU! IT'S ALWAYS BEEN YOU!" he screamed in agony, tears pricking his eyes. "GOD, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW I FEEL! HOW FUCKIN' HARD IT'S BEEN JUST TO _LIVE_ WITH THE FACT THAT YOU'RE STRAIGHT!"

Ichigo's eyes widened, as he realized what he'd let slip. _Shit!_ His entire body was shaking like a brittle leaf in the wind, as he retreated to the living room window, his back again facing Grimmjow. _How could he have let his control crumble that way?_ Now, his tightly guarded secret was out, and Grimmjow would most likely never even look at him again, let alone speak to him.

Tears stung his eyes, and even though he fought against them, swallowing convulsively the huge lump in his throat, they still spilled over his lashes, tracking down his cheeks. _Fuck, this was horrible_. Ichigo would never be able to redeem himself from this, and it was all his fault for letting Grimmjow rile him up.

The silence was thick, pressing against his back like a physical thing. He covered his eyes with his trembling right hand, trying to mask his grief and embarrassment, his body shuddering from the effort.

"Yo."

It was said softly from right behind Ichigo, making him jump, but not enough to make him turn around. _Honestly, Ichigo thought the man had left_. He grunted quietly.

"Turn around, I got somethin' to say," Grimmjow was still speaking softly, his voice a low, soothing rumble.

"I don't really think there's anything you need to say. I know you're straight, ok?" Ichigo paused, swallowing thickly. "I don't...I didn't mean to tell you that. Please, Grimmjow, just go. This is fuckin' embarrassing enough as it is."

Suddenly, Ichigo was whirled around, and his chin grabbed fiercely. He painfully met Grimmjow's shocking blue gaze that was boring fiercely into his own wide, brown one.

"Ichigo, shut the fuck up and listen, dammit!" Grimmjow hissed urgently. When Ichigo stayed silent, he continued. "I-I, fuck, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, but, you-you don't need to feel like that anymore, ya know? I may not have known before, but-but-ah, fuck this!"

Before Ichigo could even react, Grimmjow's lips were pressed to his in a soft kiss. Ichigo's eyes widened. _What? What exactly was going on here? He was dreaming, right? This whole sordid affair was a cosmic joke, in the form of a dream. It had to be. There was just no fucking way Grimmjow-straight as a rod-Jaegerjaques was...kissing him_.

But then, the larger man's hand left his chin, and trailed to the nape of Ichigo's neck, fingering his hair. Grimmjow's lips parted, and his warm, wet tongue swept across the seam of Ichigo's lips, probing gently, requesting entrance. _Fuck. If this was a dream, he would damn well enjoy it while it lasted_.

Ichigo's hands came up to Grimmjow's shoulders, and he gripped them tightly, holding on for dear life lest he be swept away. He opened his mouth, accepting the searching tongue, and promptly melted. _This was the most realistic dream he'd ever had in his life_. Grimmjow tasted like vanilla and tobacco, and even though Ichigo didn't smoke, it was wholly intoxicating.

Ichigo fisted Grimmjow's shirt at the shoulders, clinging to him, and letting these embarrassing little noises slip, as the blue-haired man thoroughly, and quite aggressively, explored his mouth, creating wet, smacking sounds that filled the silence.

When they broke for air, Grimmjow leaned his forehead against Ichigo's, both of them breathing rather harshly. _God, that had been better than anything Ichigo had or even could have imagined_. He held his eyes shut tightly, a fresh batch of tears stinging behind them. _Please don't wake him up!_

"Hey," Grimmjow murmured, "look at me." Ichigo shook his head defiantly.

"I don't wanna wake up," he croaked. Grimmjow wrapped his arms around Ichigo's waist, and chuckled breathlessly.

"Baka. Open your eyes, and you'll see you're not dreamin'."

Grimmjow rubbed tiny circles with his thumbs on Ichigo's waist. Ichigo took a deep, shuddering breath, and slowly cracked open his tear-swollen eyes. He had to stifle a gasp, as his eyes met electric blue, shining with lust, and something else Ichigo couldn't quite name. He bit his bottom lip for the umpteenth time that night, and shook his head.

"Why? Y-you've always been straight. I don't understand," Ichigo uttered.

"I don't understand it either, but...there's just somethin' about ya, Ichigo, that draws me in." Grimmjow ran his hands up and down Ichigo's sides, drawing a delighted sigh from him. "I ain't gonna deny that I'm feelin' somethin' for ya, and I wanna explore this. Question is, do you?" Ichigo gaped at the man.

"Are you braindead or something? I've wanted you since I was in junior high! Of course I wanna-wanna "explore" this. I-I, god, Grimmjow..."

"Yeah, I know," Grimmjow murmured, and lowered his head, capturing Ichigo's lips in another drugging kiss.

 _Perhaps...perhaps everything would turn out alright, after all_.


	9. Take Our Time

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_May 2008_

Grimmjow was in a mild state of shock. When he'd gone into Ichigo's apartment, he'd had no intentions of kissing the orange-haired youth, but his brain-mouth filter had failed him. Seeing Ichigo again had flooded his system with enormous amounts of relief and...happiness.

Then the idiot tried to pretend as if avoiding him wasn't a problem. Grimmjow would admit that he'd let his anger get the best of him, as he shoved Ichigo into his own apartment, bent on getting him to talk. _Honestly, what the hell had the kid expected?_

Grimmjow's arrogance had risen to astonishing levels at the sight of Ichigo's face when he'd stood in the middle of the living room, wearing nothing but his underwear. Crimson stained that beautiful face, as the younger man whirled around in embarrassment. Grimmjow couldn't help but smirk.

 _And then...shit got crazy_.

He'd been an insensitive prick, saying the first thing that came to mind, not even noticing the warning signs of anger rolling from Ichigo's tense body. Oh, but the berry head had erupted like a volcano, yelling passionately at him, after Grimmjow made the stupid mistake of asking Ichigo what any of what he'd gone through had to do with him.

 _It had been beautiful, yet heart-wrenching_.

The raw pain, frustration and desperation had propelled Grimmjow into action. Even still, he'd only meant to talk to him, to try to comfort him, and tell him that he liked him as well. He'd only wanted to establish it with words, but Grimmjow was a man of impulse, and while he'd been trying unsuccessfully to get his point across, he'd made the mistake of staring into those sultry brown eyes, red-rimmed from tears... _and he'd kissed him_.

He'd thought kissing another guy-no matter how attractive he was-would've been weird, or awkward. Uncomfortable, at the least, considering he'd only ever kissed women.

 _But...Ichigo...had been different_.

The experience only left him feeling more confused than he'd ever been. It had been natural. Everything a normal kiss entailed, but somehow... _better_. Ichigo smelled nice, like freshly baked sugar cookies, and he tasted like those butterscotch candies Grimmjow's father was so fond of.

It had been warm, and thoroughly arousing, sending shivers rocketing through him. _God, he'd never been that turned on in his life...and it scared the shit out of him_. Of course he liked Ichigo, hell, that was the whole point of him going over there. He'd had to tell him that he liked him, and that he didn't need to feel so badly anymore.

After the kiss, he and Ichigo had talked. They'd talked for over six hours about any and everything. Grimmjow now knew that Ichigo was nineteen and would be twenty in July. His favorite colors were blue and black, his favorite food was gyudon, and he loved video games, swimming, reading and drawing.

It was amazing the amount of knowledge Grimmjow had gleaned from the younger man, and it only served to make him like Ichigo even more. He was a complex puzzle, but Grimmjow didn't mind taking his time to figure him out.

Then, Ichigo had gone on to describe his past, his crush on Grimmjow included. When he'd heard who the people were that had nearly beaten the red head to death, he'd been beside himself with fury. _How dare those assholes? He couldn't believe Ichigo and the red-haired freak had been best friends. It was disgusting. If he ever saw that piece of shit, he'd beat him unrecognizable, and then some_. _Motherfucker_.

This protectiveness came as a surprise to Grimmjow as well, considering how long he'd known Ichigo, but he wanted to take care of him, and make sure he never had to go through that kind of shit again.

 _Now, the real problem arose_.

Grimmjow didn't know how to deal with all of these sudden feelings. No, he didn't mean emotions, although he definitely liked Ichigo, that wasn't the immediate issue. _Kissing him, holding him, touching him, fuck, just being near him felt so..._

Grimmjow was at a loss. He didn't have anything against homosexuality, but he never thought he would be attracted to a guy. Most of his friends were gay, and it was funny, because a lot of others thought he was gay, until they saw him with a woman. Even his own father had believed him to be gay because of the company he kept.

Grimmjow's father was pretty accepting of it, albeit a bit comically.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_October 2004_

_"No, fucker, use the circle button ta high kick!" Nnoitra shouted._

_"I am, asshole," Grimmjow snarled, as he jabbed said button, cigarette hanging precariously from the corner of his mouth._

_The small group of friends were gathered at Grimmjow's home, playing some fighting game on the PS2. Some shit called Mortal Kombat: Deception. It was pissing him the fuck off. Szayel's boyfriend, Gin, was calmly kicking his ass, eye-closing grin firmly in place, as Szayel sat beside him, grinning smugly._

_Yor was seated beside Nnoitra, a small smirk gracing his deadpan features, and Nnoitra was hanging on the edge of the couch, yelling instructions to Grimmjow. He was trying to get Grimmjow to win, because Gin had been thoroughly dominating whoever played against him, and Nnoitra didn't approve._

_Stark and his little blond boyfriend, Hirako, were seated on the love seat, trying to devour each other's faces. No one paid them any mind because frankly, the sight was normal. Ever since high school, those two had been inseparable, although, for some strange reason, Hirako didn't seem to like Grimmjow very much. Not that he gave a shit._

_"C'mon, Sub-Zero, beat that piece a'shit, Scorpion!" Grimmjow growled, ashes tumbling from his cigarette, landing on the carpet._

_"Grimm, yer old man's gonna kick yer ass, he sees them ashes on his floor," Nnoitra stated, as he eyed the falling debris._

_"Yeah, yeah."_

_Suddenly, Scorpion caught Sub-Zero with an uppercut, and the background darkened, displaying the words "finish him" in blood across the screen._

_"FUCK!" Grimmjow shouted, as Gin performed Scorpion's Fatality, grin widening._

_"S'too bad, Grimm-kun, ya almos' had me," the silver-haired man taunted._

_"Fuck you, Gin, you're cheatin' er somethin'."_

_"Nah, nah, that ain't nice."_

_"Hand it over, Grimmjow," Nnoitra growled, reaching for the black controller._

_"Whatever," he grumbled, as he passed the device over to his tall friend._

_Grimmjow was in a funky mood, now. He hated losing, but he hated being teased about it even more. Relaxing on the floor, at the end of the couch, he finished his cigarette, before stabbing it into the heavy, glass ashtray beside him. He used his fingers to pick up the fallen ashes from the carpet, lest his Pop castrate him for dirtying the precious material._

_As if on cue, the front door swung open, revealing his imposing father. The look of surprise his dad sent in Stark and Hirako's direction, didn't escape Grimmjow's attention, but luckily the older blue-haired male kept his comments to himself._

_"Oi, I got some pizzas for you heathens," the man boomed, then headed for the kitchen._

_"Man a'few words," Nnoitra grinned._

_Even though Grimmjow was in his first year at the University, his Pop still treated him like he was in high school, spoiling and over-indulging him, claiming it was only right since Grimmjow was an only child._

_He didn't mind. His oyaji was pretty cool, and he pretty much took everything in stride._

_Grimmjow rose from the floor, and followed after his father, the smell of food literally leading him by the nose. Once he entered the kitchen, he spotted the older man seated at the island, sipping from a glass of whiskey, and watching him carefully._

_"What's with the look, Pop?"_

_"Grimmjow, you know you can tell me anything, don't you?" Grimmjow frowned in confusion._

_"Yeah, I know that. Why?"_

_"Son...are you gay?" his old man asked, face deadly serious._

_"What? What the f-I mean what the hell, Pop? I've got a girl. Hal, remember her?" Grimmjow asked incredulously, slipping into the chair across from his father, and reaching for a slice of pizza._

_"Yeah, but, all of your friends are, um, gay, and I just thought that maybe it was because, you know..."_

_Grimmjow stared at his sire for several moments, before bursting into hysterical laughter. Alric Jaegerjaques was not amused, though._

_"Grimmjow, it's not funny. I'm serious. If you are, you can tell me. I'll love you either way."_

_"Nah, Pop, I'm not gay. I don't have a problem with it, but it's not my cup of tea. I like pu-I mean, girls," Grimmjow explained through a mouthful of pizza._

_"Mmm, I don't have a problem with it either, but could ya tell your friends not to have sex on my couch. I don't feel like cleaning up anyone's jizz."_

_Grimmjow choked on his pizza, as he crowed with mirth. His dad was a fucking comedian._

_"I'll tell 'em."_

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_May 2008_

Yet, here he was wanting to explore a gay relationship. Grimmjow sighed, pushing his hand through his disheveled blue hair. _How would he explain to his old man that he'd changed his mind, and switched sides, so to speak? He wouldn't admit it out loud, but he was a little afraid. Not of his father, but because he'd never been with a man, and he honestly didn't know what to do_.

At the moment, he and Ichigo were on their first official date. After a couple of weeks of talking, and generally just getting to know one another, Grimmjow had asked him out. It had taken a while for him to gather the nerves to go out in public with Ichigo, as a...couple, but he liked him, and it only made sense to take things to the next level.

Just then, a rough, but almost elegant hand slipped into his, making all of his fears and insecurities fade away for the moment. Ichigo lightly nudged Grimmjow's shoulder with his own, looking up at him with those wide, brown doe eyes, wearing a small smile.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked softly. Grimmjow grinned and shrugged.

"You."

Ichigo blushed, and averted his gaze, his hand tightening around Grimmjow's. _Even though he was afraid, insecure, and a lot inexperienced when it came to being with a man, Ichigo made things seem so...easy_.

"What do ya wanna see?" Grimmjow asked, as they stared up at the movie listings.

"What about that? The Ruins. It starts in fifteen minutes."

"Is that supposed to be scary er somethin'?"

"I think so," Ichigo answered. Grimmjow found himself shrugging again.

"Cool."

They approached the ticket counter, where Grimmjow pulled out his wallet, at the same time that Ichigo did, making him scowl.

"Ichigo, what the fuck're ya doin'?" he growled, never taking his eyes off of his wallet, as he counted out the amount needed for the bill.

"I'm payin' for my ticket."

"No, you're not. I am."

"Grimmjow, I can pay for m-"

"Ichigo, dammit, this is a fuckin' date. You're my date, so I'm payin' for your shit. Now put your damned wallet away, you're makin' me look bad," Grimmjow grumbled, as he handed the cashier his money.

He noticed Ichigo's scowl, as the younger man tucked his wallet into his back pocket, but he was also blushing. Grimmjow grinned in triumph, as he grabbed their tickets. He was hesitant about PDA, but he really wanted to touch Ichigo, maybe hold his hand again.

Grimmjow frowned, fighting with himself internally, as they moved towards the ticket handler, and then the concession stand. He bit his lip agitatedly. _Fuck, he'd never been a coward, and he sure wasn't going to start now_.

He slipped his hand around Ichigo's, and when the kid glanced at him in shock, he lifted a brow. Ichigo turned away trying to hide a shy smile, and Grimmjow thought it was entirely too cute.

"Ya want somethin' from here?" he asked. Ichigo shook his head.

"Nah, I'm still full from dinner."

"Me too. Let's go find some seats, then."

They made their way to theater ten, climbing the stairs to the higher seats, and found a nice spot in the corner that was, thankfully, empty. The view was excellent, and afforded them a bit of privacy. As soon as they took their seats, the theater darkened, and previews began playing.

Grimmjow sighed, as he made himself comfortable in the reclining, red plush chairs. He noticed the armrests could be lifted, after a moment of fussing with them, so he moved the one between him and Ichigo up, and out of the way, before slipping his arm around the orange head's shoulders.

He liked being with Ichigo, and he liked touching him. Being close to him made Grimmjow unbelievably happy. He glanced over at the kid, and seeing his peaceful expression, he felt a powerful urge to kiss him. The theater was dark, and they were pretty much alone in their little corner, so, using his left hand, he cupped Ichigo's face, turning it towards him.

Even in the dark, Grimmjow could see the questioning look in Ichigo's eyes. Instead of talking, he bent his head, and connected their lips. It was soft, gentle, and tender, starting out as a few chaste pecks, then morphing into an all-out dance of tongues. Ichigo sighed and turned into him, kissing him back passionately, giving just as much as he got.

Grimmjow pulled back for air, nuzzling the orange-haired youth's cheek, his chest feeling uncomfortably tight. He swallowed thickly, trying to even his breathing. Maybe kissing Ichigo hadn't been such a good idea, because now his jeans were unbearably snug. _God, it still felt strange getting a boner from kissing another guy, but...Ichigo made it all feel so right_.

"What was that for?" Ichigo asked, his breath warm against Grimmjow's face.

"Just felt like it," he responded, burying his nose in Ichigo's soft orange hair, before placing a kiss there. "That ok?"

"Mmm, it's fine."

Suddenly, the previews finished, the introduction to the movie rolling across the screen. Grimmjow sat back, pulling Ichigo as close as possible, and sighed happily. _He could get used to this_.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_May 2008_

Ichigo felt like he was walking on a cloud. He hadn't been this happy, this _content_ , since he was a child, and his mom was still alive. He still couldn't believe that he was _dating_ the very man he'd been craving for _years_. It was still all so surreal, a pipe dream at its best.

He wasn't complaining, though. It was what he'd wanted for so long, and he'd be damned if he ruined it by doubting the man. Besides, it was only their first date, so he couldn't get his hopes too high.

Ichigo felt like he knew everything there was to know about the blue-haired man, since the night Grimmjow had first kissed him. They had spent the next couple of weeks learning about each other, and Ichigo was grateful. It showed that the blunet really liked him, and was willing to go through the small steps of a relationship first.

It made things harder though, when the man would do things like hold his hand, and kiss him like he was the most precious being on Earth. Kissing Grimmjow was like a drug, it altered his mind, leaving him high, and when he came down from his climb, it only left him wanting more, just like now.

Grimmjow had kissed him out of the blue, and all Ichigo wanted was to make love to the man. He wanted to run his hands all over him, mapping the blunet's exquisite body, while memorizing every plane, every groove, and every dip. He wanted all of Grimmjow, but he could tell that the blue-haired man was still a little hesitant about things, so he would be as patient as Job.

Ichigo's mind was far from the not-scary-at-all horror film they were watching, as he glanced at Grimmjow every few minutes. The taller man was slouched in his seat, arm wrapped securely around Ichigo's shoulders, as he watched the screen with half-lidded eyes.

Grimmjow was wearing a burnt-orange, three-quarter sleeved, v-neck shirt, charcoal-colored jeans, and burnt-orange and black, high-top Nike Air Force One sneakers. The man oozed sex appeal like a runny nose, and Ichigo couldn't keep his eyes off him.

"I see ya, ya know," Grimmjow stated, as he turned to face Ichigo's stare head-on. _Fuck_. Ichigo blushed profusely, thanking every higher being that the theater was dark. "What's a'matter, Ichigo? Somethin' wrong? Or ya just like what ya see?"

"You're such an arrogant ass," he muttered, feeling his face burn even hotter. _He, in fact, did like what he saw. Very much so_.

"Well s'not like you're not feedin' it, sittin' there starin' and all."

"Baka." Grimmjow chuckled quietly, as he pulled Ichigo closer.

"I know you are, but what am I?"

"You can't possibly be serious," Ichigo uttered in disbelief. Grimmjow grinned widely, causing them both to dissolve into helpless laughter.

"SHHHHH!" a short, dark-haired woman whispered from behind the two.

"Ya really wanna watch the rest of this? It's borin'," Grimmjow murmured into Ichigo's ear, sending a bolt of lightning zig-zagging down his back.

"But it'll be a waste of money," he answered.

"Ichigo, I've wasted money on worse things than a movie."

Shrugging his shoulders, and deciding that, yes, the movie was god-awful, they left the theater, hand-in-hand, as they walked briskly to the parking lot.

"So, where are we going now?" Ichigo asked, as they slipped into Grimmjow's car. Said man shrugged, as he started the vehicle, and pulled out of the lot.

"Where would ya like to go, Ichigo?"

It was Ichigo's turn to shrug, as he gazed out of the window. Suddenly, an idea struck, making him grin maniacally, and made Grimmjow glance at him uncertainly.

"What?" the blunet asked hesitantly.

"Let's go roller-skating."

There was a very pregnant pause.

"Roller-skating," Grimmjow repeated slowly, as if he were tasting the words while they slid off his tongue.

"Yeah. Unless you're scared," Ichigo taunted, knowing that would seal the deal.

"I ain't fuckin' scared, ya little prick. Fine, we'll go roller-skating," Grimmjow retorted, dragging the "roller-skating".

Twenty minutes later found Ichigo grabbing his sides, gasping desperately for air, as tears streamed down his cheeks. _Christ, who would've guessed that big bad Grimmjow couldn't fucking skate?_

They'd found the skating rink with ease, going inside and giving the clerk their sizes for a pair skates. He should've known something was off from the way Grimmjow's eyes darted nervously to the rink, as they sat, slipping into the rolling footwear.

Stubborn male pride is a glorious creation. It had provided Ichigo with the best fucking entertainment he'd had in a very long time. Grimmjow was currently shooting him a murderous glare, as he clung to the wall for dear life, after falling no less than three times. _Oh, it was superb_.

"Gimme your hand, Grimmjow," Ichigo tried. The blunet only snarled.

" _Fuck you_ , yeah? I can't believe I let ya talk me into this shit!" Ichigo had to suppress a chuckle, tucking both lips between his teeth.

"C'mon, I'll help you to the tables."

"I'm _not_ moving!" Grimmjow snapped over the loud music. Ichigo lifted a brow.

"Oh? Ok, then. I was just trying to help," he commented nonchalantly, as he turned his back to the poor, blue-haired man, and began skating away.

"OI! Ichigo, wait! You better come get me!"

Ichigo snickered to himself, before turning and gliding back to Grimmjow's side, whose blue eyes were impossibly wide. _He looked adorable_.

"So, you gonna give me your hand or what?" Ichigo asked. The taller man nodded cooperatively, as the red head held out his hand.

Grimmjow grasped it almost desperately, making Ichigo chuckle, as he used his other arm to wrap around the unsteady man's waist. Grimmjow pushed off the wall, and seemed to immediately trip over his feet.

The blunet's eyes went comically wide again, as he probably felt collision with the floor was imminent, so he threw his arms around Ichigo's shoulders, consequently knocking him off balance, and they both fell to the floor, landing in a heap. Ichigo had been laughing the entire time. _How could someone suck so badly at roller-skating? They weren't even using roller blades_.

Ichigo ended up lying on top of Grimmjow, still laughing breathlessly, while the man he loved glared up at him.

"Well, this sure is deja vu," he commented, gazing into those electric blue depths. Grimmjow's face softened slightly, as a lop-sided grin graced his features.

"Yeah, it is."

"Only this time I can do this," Ichigo murmured, before kissing the man beneath him squarely on the mouth.

It was a quick touch of lips, but when he tried to pull away, Grimmjow snaked his hand around to the back of Ichigo's head, pulling him back down for a deeper kiss... _right on the floor of the skating rink...and it couldn't have been better_.

Catcalls and whistles broke them apart, turning Ichigo's face a fiery red, as he realized a few of the other patrons had been watching them in amusement. He glanced back at Grimmjow, and caught him grinning crookedly, also wearing a slight blush, as he sat up.

"Why don't you just take the skates off? It's obvious you can't go without falling even with my help," Ichigo sighed. Grimmjow only nodded, before hurriedly snatching off the footwear.

They walked to the check-in counter, returned their skates, and headed for the car. Ichigo had to admit that he'd had a lot of fun on their first date. The kiss a few moments ago, still had him trembling slightly, and as he slid into Grimmjow's vehicle, he couldn't help but smile, and glance at the man every so often.

Soon, they'd parked in the lot of Ichigo's apartment building, and were heading inside. He didn't think it was necessary for Grimmjow to walk him all the way to his door, but the blue-haired man had insisted.

The elevator ride was silent, both men focused on their individual thoughts, and before he knew it, Ichigo was standing in front of his door. He hesitantly turned to Grimmjow. _He never wanted this night to end_.

"I had fun with you, tonight," he murmured. Grimmjow nodded, stepping closer, trademark grin firmly in place.

"Me too, even though I did make an ass of myself." Ichigo chuckled, and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Yeah, sorry about-"

"Shutup, Ichigo," Grimmjow whispered, and pulled him close, wrapping his arms around him tightly. "Ya talk too much sometimes."

Ichigo met the blunet halfway in a bone-melting kiss, as he lifted his arms around the man's neck. It was deep, lazy, and completely arousing. In no fucking time at all, he was hard, and pressing himself against the larger man. _He could do this forever, and never get tired of it_.

Finally, they pulled apart for air, and Grimmjow brushed their noses together. It was still strange, but totally satisfying to be kissed by this man. _Grimmjow_.

"So, I guess I'll see you later, Grimm," he said softly. Grimmjow leaned back, and stared at him. "What?" Ichigo asked defensively.

"You called me 'Grimm'."

"Oh, I'm sorry. If you-"

"There ya go again. Talkin' too much...Ichi," Grimmjow interrupted with a grin, but Ichigo's face was currently on fire. The pet name had gone straight to his groin, his fucking blood pooling and surging.

Ichigo didn't know what to say, but it turned out, nothing needed to be said, because Grimmjow dipped his head, and captured the red head's lips in another kiss, making his heart swell. _Goddamn, it was good_.

"I'll call ya tomorrow, OK?" Grimmjow murmured. Ichigo nodded, his throat too dry to speak. His heart was racing a mile a minute, and he was painfully erect. _Shit_.

The blunet gave Ichigo one last lip-smacking peck, before sauntering off to the elevators. He couldn't move. Ichigo felt rooted to the spot. He watched as Grimmjow boarded the metal box with a small finger wave, and disappeared behind the closed doors.

Slowly, he unlocked his apartment, stepped inside, shut the door, and pressed his back against it. _That had been the best night of his life_.


	10. Doubt

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_August 2008_

_Yamanaka Apartments_

"What?" Rukia asked, her voice a mixture of shock, disbelief and anger.

Renji didn't blame her, but he could no longer keep up the facade. He knew Rukia loved him, but he didn't feel the same way for her. There had been a point in time when he did have some type of romantic feelings for her, but she had become clingy and demanding, and then there was the whole situation with Ichigo.

He hadn't wanted to drag her along in his downfall, but she'd come anyway, and it very nearly destroyed him. Renji had his own reasons and issues for disowning everyone, but he knew Rukia had been really close to Tatsuki, Orihime and the others. Except Ichigo. She had always been rather distant towards him, even when he and Renji were best friends, and he never knew the reason behind it.

 _He had never asked either_.

At the time, it had been convenient. Renji had been grateful in his selfishness that Rukia loved him enough to disown her closest friends, and stick by his side, supporting him no matter what, but as time went on...he started to realize all the bullshit he'd put her through.

Her older brother had kicked her out because, as fate would have it, he was gay too, and didn't appreciate her getting in trouble for beating a guy that had the same sexual preference as he did. That situation had sucked, but Renji had allowed her to move in with him. From there, everything seemed to go downhill.

Rukia clung to him everywhere he went, demanding all of his time and attention, and getting pissed whenever he even mentioned Ichigo's name. Renji had to admit that their relationship hadn't been the same since he'd found out about the fucking Strawberry turning gay. He didn't know how to fix things either, because he just didn't feel the same about the petite raven-haired girl.

So...he'd decided to break it off. He'd explained that she could stay there in their apartment, since she had nowhere else to go, but he didn't want to be with her romantically anymore. She deserved better than him, and he only wanted her to see that.

"Rukia, we haven't been the same since the whole thing with Ichigo went down, and I'll be the first to admit that it's my fault. I only want you to be happy, and you can't find that with me. I'm just not the same guy you fell for. I can't be what you need me to be anymore. I can't. Not as long as Ichi-"

"What the fuck does that have to do with us, Renji? I love you! Does that even fucking matter to you? Or is everything still all about Ichigo?" Her voice dripped disdain over the orange head's name.

"Rukia, it's not li-"

"Yes, it is! It's ALWAYS been about him! Even now when you're not supposed to care about him, all you do is talk about him! Ichigo this, and Ichigo that! What about ME, Renji? When will it be about ME? Ichigo wasn't there for your sorry ass when you were balled up in the corner of the bathroom, crying like a little girl! Or, when you were bent over the toilet, trying to bring up all of your internal organs!"

"Watch your mouth, Rukia," he growled. _She was going too fucking far. Granted, she had a right to be pissed, but saying all that was too much_.

"No! I feel so fucking stupid, Renji! I love you so much, and all I wanted was for you to put ME first every now and then, AND YOU NEVER DID!" By now she was crying, tears streaming down her cheeks, unchecked. "I can't believe this! I gave up EVERYTHING for you! EVERYTHING! My friends, my family! Renji, what the fuck? Why can't you love me?" she shrieked, her face twisted in pain, and her hands balled into fists at her sides.

 _What should he say? He had no idea how to respond to her, because she was absolutely right. Shit. It seemed like he just couldn't do anything right._ All he could do was stand, rooted to the spot, as Rukia screamed her frustrations at him.

"I hate you! You and Ichigo deserve each other! Stupid bastard!"

Rukia fled the apartment, slamming the door behind her. Fuck. Renji felt terrible for making her feel bad, even hating him, but deep down, he was relieved. That may sound horrible, but at least now, Rukia could begin to pick up the remnants of her life, starting fresh. She didn't need him being a burden to her.

 _Damn_. Not only was he dealing with Rukia's heartbreak and anger, but just the other day, he'd seen Ichigo with that blue-haired guy that saved his ass last October. It seemed like they were an item, because he'd seen them kissing. Ichigo was fucking contagious! The last Renji remembered, the blue-haired guy was straight.

He'd seen the guy around when they were still in junior high and high school, and he'd always seen him with chicks. Then again, he did hang out with a bunch of other fags, that blond bastard, Shinji, included. _Maybe the guy had been a closet homo all along_.

Well, whatever the case, Renji was no fool. That blue-haired guy was pretty fucking big, and he'd already shown he had other means of dispensing justice by brandishing that big ass gun. Renji'd never been so scared in his life, staring down the barrel of that huge weapon. So, Ichigo had gotten away that night, but he had plans to confront the orange head again, this time without his blue-haired bodyguard.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_August 2008_

_What the fuck had she done to deserve this shit? All she had done was love that red-haired asshole, and this was the thanks she got?_

Rukia ran. She stumbled over cracks in the pavement, as tears blurred her vision. She had nowhere to go, but she'd be damned if she stayed with Renji any longer. She couldn't believe he'd broken up with her after everything she'd sacrificed for him. _For them_.

Broken sobs were wrenched from her body, as she made her way into the park. Her legs had been on autopilot, and led her to her place of peace, driven by instinct alone. She collapsed on the merry-go-round, and lay there, drowning in a sea of sorrow.

Years of loving a broken boy, giving him everything, and all for nothing. Rukia felt like there was a gaping void where her heart used to be, but she was also beyond pissed. All of this was the fault of one person, and that orange-haired bastard was going to pay for what he'd done to Renji, and ultimately her. She didn't care if she had to die trying. Ichigo Kurosaki would pay.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_August 2008_

Grimmjow sat in his car, outside of the large, white house, engine off, and fingers gripping the steering wheel tightly. He noted the faded blue pick-up in the driveway, and gulped audibly. He wasn't scared. He just didn't want to see the look on the man's face when he told him what he needed to tell him.

He'd been procrastinating long enough, and now that he wanted his oyaji to meet Ichigo, telling him that he was gay was inevitable. _Fuck_. He grit his teeth, and exited the vehicle, resigned to his fate. Grimmjow knew his father was going to ask some very awkward questions, and no amount of preparation would steel him against what was to come.

Grimmjow approached the door, lifted his key to the lock, and let himself into his childhood home. After re-locking the door, he listened for any movement from his father. The house was unusually silent, and it made him nervous. The older blue-haired male normally spent his time in the living room, watching old American movies, or on the patio, sipping his whiskey, and smoking a cigar.

"Pop?" he called. "Oiiiiii!"

Grimmjow moved into the kitchen, leading to the patio, and immediately felt the worried tension that had begun gathering across his shoulders, relax. His old man was seated on a white, cushioned deck chair, puffing away on a cigar. The smell was incredibly nostalgic, and brought Grimmjow memories of his younger days.

His Pop's blue hair was still as vibrant as his own, with minor graying at the temples, and his bright blue eyes were still as lively as a man in his twenties. He was wearing a dark-blue, terry-cloth robe, and white, linen pajama pants. His black slippers were resting on the floor, while his bare feet were kicked up on a black, leather ottoman.

On the table beside his father, was a sturdy glass filled halfway with the man's favorite whiskey, Jack Daniels. _Awful stuff, that._ Grimmjow remembered being eight years old, and sneaking some from his dad's glass when the man wasn't looking, and completely giving himself away after being sent into a coughing fit. The shit burned like fire on his tongue and on its way down his throat.

Stifling a chuckle, he slid the glass door back, and stepped onto the patio. Alric Jaegerjaques glanced up at him, and gave him a warm grin.

"Grimmjow, my boy! To what do I owe the pleasure?" his old man's deep, rich voice traveled easily across the backyard.

"Hey, Pop. I, uh...well, there's somethin' I've been meanin' to talk to ya about," he started, plopping into the seat across from the older blue-haired man. Alric's face immediately got serious, totally intimidating him.

"Is it the club? I thought everything was smooth sailin' with that?" Grimmjow frowned.

"Nah, everything's great with the club. The opening's next week, and I expect you to be there," he answered sternly, making his father crack their trademark, feral grin.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ya know what ya wanna call the place yet?"

"Mm, I was thinking Las Noches," he answered.

"Ahhh. What the hell is that?" Grimmjow let loose a bark of laughter.

"It means "the nights" in Spanish."

"Oh. Sounds good. So, if this isn't about the club, what's got ya so nervous?" His Pop's blue eyes locked with his own, making him shift uncomfortably in his seat. _Fuck. The moment of truth_. Grimmjow took a deep breath, and dove right in.

"R-remember when ya asked me if I was g-gay, a while back? A-and I said no?"

Alric's eyes narrowed, and he nodded slowly, taking a deep pull from his cigar. Grimmjow shifted again, and swallowed.

"Uh, well, see...I, um-" _FUCK! He couldn't get it out!_ Luckily, his father took the reins.

"You lied to me?" the older man asked quietly, his face an expressionless mask. _If there was anything they both hated, it was a liar. Thankfully, he could honestly say he hadn't lied back then._

"No, I didn't. B-back then, I really had no interest in men. Truthfully, I still don't," he fumbled, as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Grimmjow, son, you're not makin' any sense. Just tell me. Did you sleep with a man out of curiosity, or somethin'?"

"Heh, no. I, I..." Grimmjow sighed, and squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm dating a guy."

The silence was thick and awkward, making Grimmjow wince. _Now, he'd gone and done it. The truth was out, the beans were spilled_. He was thinking up ways his father would respond, when loud, rolling laughter echoed across the patio and yard. Grimmjow's eyes sprang open, only to see his father grasping his gut, and tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

"Pop?" he ventured.

"Ahaha! Aha! Ahahahaha!"

"Pop!" he tried, more sternly.

"I'm sorry, son, but the look on your face! Ahaha! Ok, I'm stopping...heh. Oh, man. Ahhh," Alric replied, wiping his eyes, still chuckling spastically.

"Pop, you're not helping," Grimmjow muttered sullenly. _All this time, he'd thought his father would be upset or something, and here the man was laughing at him._

"Ok, ok! I thought ya said ya don't have any interest in men? How does that work with ya datin' one?"

"I don't have any interest in men. It's just him. No other guys catch my attention. Just Ichigo."

"Ichigo, huh? I almost thought ya were gonna say one a'your other friends."

There was a brief silence, before his father was speaking again.

"So, how long have ya been seein' this Ichigo fella?"

"Few months now," he responded, the nervousness all but gone.

"Well, how did ya get together? What made ya realize ya liked him...like that?"

 _And it starts. This was what he was afraid of. The inquisition had begun_. He sighed tiredly.

"It's a long story." His father lifted a blue brow.

"You goin' somewhere?"

Grimmjow just chuckled, and began explaining his and Ichigo's history, starting at the very beginning with their school days.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_August 2008_

Ichigo was walking home from work, his back aching from lifting boxes all day. Urahara had been uncharacteristically grumpy that day, muttering something about his nephew. Ichigo didn't know what the hell was going on, but he hoped the man got over it soon, because he didn't think his back could take much more abuse, rearranging the store room.

All of a sudden, there was a vibrating sensation from his jeans pocket, so he quickly extracted his cell phone, and snapped it open.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Hey." A wide smile spread across his face when he recognized the caller.

"Hey."

"Ya off work yet?"

"Yeah, I'm just going to stop at the store to pick up something to fix for dinner."

"Am I invited?" Grimmjow asked, making Ichigo's grin spread wider.

"How do you feel about spaghetti?" he asked, switching the phone to his other ear.

"Me and spaghetti are cool."

"Ok, then I'll be home in about a half."

"Alright, see ya then," his blue-haired boyfriend ended the call.

Grimmjow wasn't overly affectionate, but he had opened up a lot to Ichigo in the past few months. They still had yet to go beyond kissing and petting, but he was being patient. He didn't want to rush Grimmjow, and consequently push him away.

Although, it was excruciatingly hard not to lose his control when they would kiss, and the blunet would run his hands across his chest and back, sometimes up Ichigo's thighs. _Correction...it was sheer torture_.

It had taken the man a week just to touch him anywhere other than his neck, and waist. Ichigo smiled. _He didn't care. If he could endure years of wanting Grimmjow, while thinking that he couldn't have him, then he could wait until the guy was ready to move on to more intimate gestures_.

Ichigo stepped into a small grocery store, located a few blocks from his apartment, to pick up the necessary ingredients for the spaghetti. The bell over the door tinkled delicately, as the portal opened and shut.

"Hey, Ichiro-san," Ichigo greeted the elderly store owner standing behind the counter.

"Kurosaki-kun, how is your family?"

"They're good."

"Good, good. Tell them I said 'hi'," the old man's gravelly voice called.

"Yes, sir."

Ichigo passed through the aisles collecting the items he needed, when the bell over the door tinkled again, alerting to another customer. He didn't pay it any mind, until he went to the register to checkout, and saw the blonde woman Grimmjow used to go out with.

He tried to ignore her presence, but it was a bit hard with her glaring at him. Ichigo glanced at her, and blanched when he locked gazes with a pair of livid clear green eyes, narrowed menacingly. Grabbing his change and his bags, he quickly left the store, only to avoid an unnecessary confrontation, but it wasn't meant to be.

"Hey!" she called, after following Ichigo outside. He paused mid-stride, and glanced over his shoulder. _Great_. The blonde was storming towards him, eyes glittering maliciously.

"Yes?"

"I don't know what you've done to Grimm, but he's gonna wake up sooner or later, and see that he's not really gay," she huffed angrily. Ichigo narrowed his eyes, feeling blood rush to his face.

"Are you trying to say that I made him gay or something?" he ground through clenched teeth.

"Grimmjow was straight before you came into the picture. Now, I see him...kissing and holding hands with you at the movies...it's disgusting! Do yourself a favor, and break it off before he comes to his senses. I'm pretty sure he's just curious, and when he loses interest, you'll be the one hurt."

Ichigo's grip on the plastic handles of the shopping bags he held was enough to create crescent-shaped indentations on his palms. His breathing had kicked up to where he felt he was very near hyperventilating, and extremely close to having a stroke from the rise in his blood pressure.

"Are you done?" he asked quietly. _If his upbringing hadn't instilled in him the rule to never hit girls or women, this chick would be toast_. "Actually, it doesn't matter, 'cause I am."

He walked away from the blonde on stiff legs, each step jerky and uncoordinated. _Breathe, Ichigo, just breathe. That fucking bitch. Now, he was doubting himself. The fact that Grimmjow had even gained an interest in him, after years of being straight, had always been clinging to the back of his mind, nagging and questioning him, and this woman had brought it all to the surface._

_Shit._

Ichigo finally made it to his apartment building, noting Grimmjow's car parked in the lot, before he stalked through the lobby to the elevators. The quiet ride was interrupted by the vibrating of his cell phone, but since his hands were full, he couldn't answer it.

The doors dinged open, and he stepped into the wide hallway. Grimmjow was leaning against the wall beside his door, arms crossed, and a scowl etched across his features. When he saw Ichigo, he pushed off the wall, walked up to him, and grabbed the bag from his right hand.

"Hey, I called ya like three times after we spoke. I was worried," he stated.

"Sorry," Ichigo muttered, pulling his key from his pocket, and unlocking the door.

He trudged to the kitchen, his good mood completely trashed, and began getting things together for the spaghetti. Grimmjow entered the kitchen, not saying a word, but Ichigo could feel the man's eyes on him.

"So, ya gonna tell me what's buggin' ya?" his deep voice dispelled the silence.

"It's nothing." Ichigo really didn't want to go there with Grimmjow. _What? And tell the man that he ran into his ex-girlfriend, and that she basically blamed Ichigo for his change of sexual orientation, telling him to break up with the guy? No, thanks._

"Riiiiiight, and chickens have lips. Ichigo, don't lie to me."

_Fuck. Grimmjow had the scariest voice when he was pissed, or getting there. Right now, he was probably in the "getting there" stage. Should he push his luck?_

"Seriously, it's not-" he started, turning to face the blunet, and had to stumble back a step, because Grimmjow was right in front of him. _When the hell did he move?_

"You were sayin'?"

"I-It's no big deal, really. Let's just drop it, ok?" Ichigo tried again...with no such luck.

"Nah, I don't think so, Ichigo. My boyfriend, whom I haven't seen all fucking week, mind you, sees me, doesn't even say hi, let alone greet me with his usual kiss, and I'm supposed to just 'drop it'? Yeah, that ain't happenin'," Grimmjow stated, voice gradually edging from "getting there" to all the way turned up, as he stepped closer.

Ichigo pursed his lips, lowered his head, and weighed his options. He could keep the encounter to himself, and deal with a seriously angry Grimmjow, or, he could tell him, and deal with the awkwardness that was sure to follow. He peeked through his bangs at his blue-haired boyfriend and winced. _Yeah, Grimm was good and pissed. Withholding information would only make things worse._

Ichigo sighed dejectedly, before turning his back to the taller man. _Next stop, awkwardville_.

"I just, it's just that...I, uh, I ran into your ex at the store. You know, the blonde one?" he asked, too afraid to turn around and see Grimmjow's expression. There was a brief silence before the man spoke.

"Yeah," he said.

"Well, she um, she-she kind of-" _Shit. The words just wouldn't come out_. Suddenly, Grimmjow was right behind him, hands on his hips, as he nuzzled his hair.

"What did she say to ya?" Ichigo sighed, deciding to quit stalling, and just go for broke.

"She told me that she didn't know what I did to you to get you to, um, turn gay, but you were gonna lose interest in me, once you came to your senses. She said she saw us at the movies, and that I, uh, I should break it off with you, before I got hurt..." his voice trailed off when he felt Grimmjow's grip on his hips tighten.

"Ya believe that?" Grimmjow's voice was taut with what sounded like barely controlled anger.

"I don't want to, but...I don't know. My mind starts playing tricks on me, and I don't know what to believe. I don't know if it's from the shock of you actually liking me back, or, if it's the fact that you were straight for years before I came along...I just don't know, Grimm."

"So, what does that mean? Ya wanna break up with me?" Ichigo's insides clenched at the thought.

"No. Hell no," he answered firmly.

Ichigo swore he heard a sigh of relief come from the man, as he was turned to face him. He stared into solemn, ocean-blue eyes, and was caught off guard when Grimmjow smiled brightly.

"Good, 'cause that'd be kinda hard to explain to my Pop."

"Your-"

"Yeah, I just came from telling my dad all about ya. He knows everything, and I want ya to meet him at the club opening," Grimmjow explained, his gruff baritone almost excited.

"Y-you want me to meet your father?" Ichigo asked, his body going absolutely numb with joy.

"Idiot. Course I want ya to meet my old man. Halibel doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about, so ya don't need to pay her any mind. I'm serious 'bout ya, Ichi. Don't let her put doubts in your mind about me, yeah?"

Ichigo felt like his head was about to explode from the blood pounding and surging through it. _Grimmjow wanted him to meet his father. The man that raised him. The man that now knew everything about him. He couldn't be happier._

"Ok," Ichigo murmured, and rested his hands on Grimmjow's hips.

"Ichi?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I have my kiss now?" Grimmjow asked, a devilish gleam in his blue eyes. Ichigo grinned and nodded, as their lips melded together.

 _He would never doubt Grimmjow again_.


	11. The Opening (Part I)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_August 2008_

"Yes! Grimm, I'm coming!"

"Good."

Ichigo rolled his eyes, as he snapped his cell phone shut. _God, Grimmjow was such a baby_. He'd told the man, over and over again, that he would be there to meet his father with him at Las Noches's grand opening, and still he worried.

Shaking his head, Ichigo glanced at the clock on the wall. He still had an hour to spare before Grimmjow cut the ribbon at the entrance of his new establishment, but with the way his old man was dragging his fucking feet, they would be late.

"OI! Put some pep in it, eh?" Ichigo hollered up the stairs. There was a loud thump, and a bunch of shuffling, before Isshin appeared at the top of the stairs, tugging at the collar of a white button-up. Black slacks, and black square-toed, leather dress shoes completed the goofy man's ensemble, and Ichigo had to admit that his father actually looked good. "How do I look, son?"

"Ya clean up pretty nicely, Dad," he answered. Isshin launched himself down the stairs, startling the hell out of Ichigo, as he embraced him tightly.

"My darling son! You've finally found a boyfriend that you want to introduce to your proud Papa!" the older man wailed. Ichigo elbowed him in the chest, making him stumble backwards. "Eh-heh, such a powerful elbow thrust! I've taught you well, Ichigo!"

"Dumbass! If you act like this at the club, I'll kill you!"

"Uwah! Masakiiiiiii! Ichi-"

"Be quiet already!" Ichigo snapped, thoroughly exasperated. "Let's go! You've wasted enough time!"

"Yes, my son!"

Isshin shuffled to the kitchen, where Ichigo's twin sisters, Yuzu and Karin, were seated at the table. Tatsuki stood in front of the sink, sipping a glass of juice, smiling broadly.

"Gosh, Ichigo, I still can't believe the two of you are dating! It's like...FINALLY, ya know?" she gushed, making Ichigo blush furiously.

"Yeah, it's still kind of surreal."

"I bet! Well, good luck with tonight, and don't do anything I wouldn't," she said with sly wink.

"Onii-chan, when are we going to meet your boyfriend?" Yuzu asked, her soft voice so innocent.

"Yeah, Ichi-nii, how come Goat Face gets to meet 'im first?" Karin added, her voice rather sullen and aggressive. Ichigo sighed, and scrubbed a hand over his face.

"I'll bring him by sometime this week to meet you guys, ok? Tonight's just for adults," he responded, hoping that would pacify them for the moment.

"...So why does Goat Face get to go?" Karin asked, a deadpan expression settling over her young features.

Ichigo couldn't hold back the laugh that bubbled up from his chest, causing Tatsuki to join in. Isshin pouted as he stooped to kiss Yuzu on the forehead. He went to repeat the loving gesture with Karin, but was swatted away. She couldn't hide her brilliant blush, though.

"Karin, don't be that way with Papa!" his old man cried in dismay.

"Just go, before you make Ichi-nii late!" she snapped.

"Have fun, onii-chan!" Yuzu exclaimed.

"Yeah, _have fun_ , Ichigo," Tatsuki added, a devilish gleam in her dark eyes. Ichigo rolled his eyes, a smirk pulling at his lips.

"Whatever, Karate Kid," he muttered. "C'mon, Dad."

"Good night, my darling daughters! Papa will be back later!"

Ichigo moved to the front door, deciding to forego the white hoodie he'd brought along, in case the temperature dropped. So far, the air was still warm and comfortable. Summer was in its last stages, making the evening a nice one, and not swelteringly hot. His royal blue, long-sleeved t-shirt and stone-washed blue jeans, over a pair of royal blue and white high-top Nike Air Force One sneakers would be more than enough to keep him warm.

Isshin practically skipped along behind him, as they headed for the old, family van. Once they were settled inside, and safely buckled up, Isshin pulled out of the driveway, and they headed for the club. Ichigo's hands began to sweat at the prospect of meeting Grimmjow's father. _Would the man like him? Or would he disapprove?_ Ichigo could only hope and pray that he made a good impression. He could tell Grimmjow was really close to his old man, and he wanted to get on his good side.

Grimmjow had no idea that Ichigo was bringing his own father along, since he wanted to surprise him. Ichigo glanced at a humming, overly cheerful Isshin, and grimaced slightly. _Grimmjow would be surprised alright_.

XOXOXO

"Yer so nervous, Blue," Nnoitra commented with a smirk.

"Fuck you, Bandana Boy," Grimmjow snapped in response. "I'm introducin' Ichi to Pop tonight."

"So? Yer old man's cool with you bein' with a guy, ain't he?"

"Yeah, but-"

"But nothin'. Stop fuckin' worryin' 'bout dumb shit. S'long as yer happy, old man Blue is happy."

Grimmjow gave a lop-sided grin at his normally crude friend's spurt of wisdom. _For someone so rough and tumble, Nnoitra was pretty fucking smart_.

The tall, raven-haired man had been there with tiny smidgens of advice and insight whenever Grimmjow had been feeling down, or just needed to talk. _Which was why he was one of his best friends_.

They were currently seated at the bar of his yet-to-be-opened club, Nnoitra nursing a shot of tequila, and Grimmjow sipping from a bottle of water. Nnoitra had on a gray hoodie over a white t-shirt, light-blue jeans and a pair of high-top gray, blue and white Nike Dunks.

Yor sat beside him, face expressionless, but wide emerald-green eyes bright and almost excited. He was wearing a black, v-neck t-shirt, black, skinny jeans with a white belt, and black and white high-top Converse sneakers. He was sipping a mixture of Hennessy and orange juice.

"So, are ya gonna go through with what ya asked us about?" Nnoitra broke the comfortable silence. A bright blush dusted Grimmjow's cheeks as he recalled exactly what his skinny friend was talking about.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_One Week Ago_

_Grimmjow couldn't believe he was here, having this conversation with his two best friends, considered more as brothers, but Ichigo had been patient enough with him, and he was ready to take things up a notch in their relationship. Not to mention, he was tired of being horny as fuck, but hesitant to move forward for fear of doing the wrong thing._

_Hell, he'd never been with a man before, so, as expected, there were some things he didn't know about. Which was why he was at Nnoitra's and Ulquiorra's place at eleven o'clock at night. He was here to get answers, as well as tell his friends about his new, completely different relationship._

_No, he hadn't told anyone about him being with a guy, although Hirako and Stark knew, which was understandable, considering Hirako was Ichigo's best friend. Grimmjow had been hesitant to tell his friends, only because he knew Nnoitra would tease the shit out of him._

_"Well, shit, welcome to the other side a'the fence, Blue," Nnoitra commented, piano-toothed grin firmly in place._

_See?_

_"I'm speechless," Ulquiorra stated quietly from beside his tall lover._

_Grimmjow rubbed the back of his neck at his green-eyed best friend's shocked expression. Yor and Nnoitra were seated on a small, black love seat, clad in their nightwear, Nnoi wearing a pair of black pajama pants, and Yor in a pair of green pajama pants._

_"What can I say? Shit happens," Grimmjow muttered._

_"Is it the orange-haired boy that Shinji-kun is close to? I remember the confrontation you two had that night, resulting in your sudden disappearance," Yor explained, his soft tenor rather reserved, but curious._

_Grimmjow nodded his reply, smiling sheepishly the whole while. Nnoitra raised a brow, his expression thoughtful, before he finally parted his lips in shock._

_"Him? Oi, ya know how long that kid's liked ya?"_

_That gave Grimmjow pause. What?_

_"You knew?" he asked, and he knew his voice was full of incredulity. Nnoitra frowned._

_"Ya'd have ta be fuckin' blind not ta see that." Grimmjow scowled deeply, as he rubbed a hand over his leg. "Or straight," his friend corrected, devilishly._

_"Ok, so I didn't know! So what? I do now, that's what matters," Grimmjow snapped defensively._

_"Ahahaha! Che, touchy, ne?"_

_"Fuck you, Bandana Boy."_

_"Yeah, yeah. Well, Blue, as wonderful as this news is," Nnoitra started sarcastically, making Grimmjow glare at him, "ya don't think ya could've waited 'til the morning ta share it?"_

_"Uh, that's only part of the reason I'm here," he answered nervously. His palms immediately began to sweat, and his knee started bouncing up and down. "Me and Ichi have been together for a few months now, a-and I, I kinda wanna...wanna..." Grimmjow balled up his hands, and pressed his fists against his shut eyes. Fuck, this was going to be harder than he'd thought._

_"Ya wanna fuck yer boyfriend, but don't know how?" Nnoitra supplied bluntly, making him blanch._

_"Nnoitra, try to have a shred of tact, please," Yor interjected, an amused gleam in his eyes. "What did you need to know, Grimmjow?"_

_Grimmjow blew out a breath of relief, thanking every star in the sky that Yor was there to make this situation a tiny bit less mortifying._

_"I mean, I've got an idea what goes on, a really good idea, but I just don't know how to like...put the shit together!"_

_Nnoitra cackled mercilessly, while Yor just stayed silent, an elegant black brow raised. Fuck. He'd just made a huge ass of himself, and there was no coming back from that embarrassment._

_"Look, just put yerself in yer partner's shoes fer a minute. How would ya want ta be pleased? How would ya want ta be touched, kissed, etcetera, etcetera. Just do that, and ya should be fine. As far as the technical bits, yer berry boy literally screams uke, so yer gonna be-"_

_"Nnoi!" Yor snapped, before Nnoitra could finish what was sure to be a thoroughly embarrassing statement. "Don't be crass."_

_"What? It's fuckin' true! That orange head is-"_

_"Nnoitra."_

_"Fuck, alright already. Why don't you explain it to him then," Nnoitra muttered sullenly, causing Yor to roll his wide, green eyes, before locking gazes with Grimmjow._

_"What this fool is so inadequately trying to explain is...what position you would be more comfortable with. Your boyfriend seems to be an 'uke', or rather the submissive role, meaning you would be the one providing the penetration. That's normally called the 'seme', or the dominant role."_

_Grimmjow felt faint. This whole situation felt like a high school health class gone totally wrong. Who knew gay sex was so fucking complicated? All these fucking terms and shit were making his head spin. He thought about just leaving and saying forget the whole thing, but then he thought about Ichigo._

_He couldn't do that to him._

_"A-and then what?" he stuttered. Christ, he was afraid to hear the rest._

_"Your partner will need to be prepared before you initiate penetration, in order to make the intercourse pleasurable for him, as well. Usually it's done with your fingers, and you will need lubrication," Yor answered, sounding for all the world like a college professor. And then his words sunk in._

_"Are ya sayin' I've gotta...put my fingers...in his ass?" Grimmjow asked very slowly, careful to enunciate each syllable._

_"Bwahahahahaha!" Nnoitra roared, leaning over, and clutching his belly, while Yor allowed a small smirk to tease the corners of his mouth._

_"It's not as bad as it sounds," his petite friend deadpanned._

_Not as bad as it sounds? Not as bad as it-_

_"Is this a joke?" he asked calmly, not appreciating their sense of humor in the least bit. That question only served to send Nnoitra into another fit of raucous laughter. "Motherfucker, I'm serious!" Grimmjow hissed._

_"So are we. Your reaction is just...quite comical, Grimmjow," Yor replied._

_Grimmjow stared down at his fingers, as if imagining what was to come, before pushing a hand through his disheveled blue hair. This was ridiculous._

_"So, lubrication, and then my fingers. I-Is it the same principle as with women? I mean, what the fuck am I gonna be rootin' around in there for?" he asked, his voice rising a few octaves._

_"Ahahaha! Ohhh, MAN! This is good shit!" Nnoitra exclaimed._

_"Fuck. You."_

_"Look, Grimm, all ya need ta know is that ya need lube and the berry boy's gonna need to be prepped before ya go shoving yer-"_

_"Nnoitra, honestly," Yor reprimanded. "Grimmjow, just do what comes naturally. I'm sure your partner will be willing to help you along with the more difficult parts."_

_Grimmjow folded his arms across his knees, and leaned forward, hiding his burning red face in the small space provided. Oh, he was so close to hyperventilating, it wasn't even funny. It all sounded so fucking obscene! But...Ichigo deserved to be happy, and it wasn't like Grimmjow was some type of saint._

_Whenever they kissed, it was like that terrible situation of having your foot itching, but being unable to scratch it. Shit. He wanted Ichigo. His body literally begged and pleaded with him to take things to the next level, but his fear kept hindering their process. And fuck, his Ichi was being so goddamned patient with him._

_Grimmjow made up his mind. He was going to make love to Ichigo, even if it required putting his fingers in his boyfriend's ass._

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_Las Noches Grand Opening_

_August 2008_

Grimmjow glanced back at Nnoitra and grinned. _He knew the tall fucker expected him to chicken out, but he had a surprise for him_. He reached into the back pocket of his dark-blue fitted jeans, and pulled out a small bottle of watermelon-scented lubrication.

"I bought it this morning. I want this," he stated firmly.

Nnoitra gave him a proud smile, before nodding. "Good luck, Blue."

"Good luck with what?" a rich baritone queried from behind.

Grimmjow turned to face his father, expression that of a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar, as he stuffed the small bottle back in his pocket. Alric Jaegerjaques stood at an imposing 6'5", wearing a long-sleeved, purple, silk dress shirt, a black silk tie, black slacks with matching suspenders, and black square-toed dress shoes. His bright blue hair was cut shorter than Grimmjow's, cropped closely to his head, the gray at his temples only accentuating his look.

Laugh lines around his sapphire-blue eyes were only one of the two signs of his age, and Grimmjow had to admit, his Pop wore them well. Alric was puffing on his customary cigar, looking for all the world like a fucking Mob boss.

"Pop! Ya look good for a change, man!" Grimmjow exclaimed, his voice playful.

"Tch, I always look good, what're ya talkin' about?" his old man's deep voice echoed through the empty club. "So, where's your boyfriend, gaki?"

"Not here yet. He should be here soon, though."

Suddenly, there was a loud commotion at the entrance, making Grimmjow frown in confusion. _Problems already?_ He started to stalk forward, adjusting his long-sleeved, gray button-up that he'd left untucked for a casual/preppy look, before Yammy came towards him. The huge man stopped just short of stepping on Grimmjow's all gray, high-top Nike Air Force One sneakers.

"Yo, Grimm, there's a couple guys at the door sayin' ya told 'em to come right in. Ya know 'em?"

Grimmjow peeked around the hulking form blocking his view, and immediately smiled. Ichigo stood at the door, scowling fiercely, arms folded across his chest, as he argued with...an older dark-haired male. _Who the fuck was that?_

Grimmjow pushed past Yammy, intent on finding out who the prick with his arm around his fucking boyfriend was. As he got closer, Ichigo noticed him, and his face visibly brightened, only to be replaced with a confused frown at the stormy look that was surely written all over Grimmjow's face. The dark-haired man lifted a brow upon seeing him, then turned to Ichigo.

"Is this your boyfriend, Ichigo, my son? He looks scary," he mumbled. _Son?_

"Dad, shutup. Grimm, you ok?" Ichigo asked, voice filled with concern. _Dad?_

"U-uh, yeah, just...this is your dad?"

Ichigo stared at him for a moment, before smirking saucily, an amused glint in his chocolate brown eyes. _Oh Christ, did he know that Grimmjow was being a jealous idiot?_

"Yeah, this is my _dad_ , Isshin Kurosaki," the red head answered. _Yep, he knew_.

"Oh. Nice to meet you, I'm, uh, Grimmjow. Grimmjow Jaegerjaques," he said, trying to regain a little of his dignity. "Come on in."

Yammy had, by this time, returned to his post, nodding as he let the two men past the midnight blue velvet rope. Grimmjow had offered the giant a position at his club, and the man had gleefully accepted, claiming it would be an honor.

"Sorry, folks, jus' had ta make sure ya were on the up an' up. Have fun," Yammy stated.

"Er, thanks," Ichigo hesitantly replied, before turning back to Grimmjow. A slow smile creased his beautiful face, making the blunet grin in return.

Grimmjow stepped up to him, enfolding the smaller man in his arms, as he kissed him. When he pulled back, Ichigo's cheeks were dusted with pink, as he grinned shyly.

"Ah, so this is the man a'the hour," Alric boomed, as he approached the three men.

Grimmjow chuckled at the look of wide-eyed astonishment on Ichigo's face at the sight of his father.

"Alric Jaegerjaques. Ya must be Ichigo," his father stated, holding out a large hand in the red head's direction. Ichigo stepped forward, grasping the hand firmly, as he nodded. "Good to finally meet ya. The gaki's told me all about ya." At this, Ichigo glanced nervously at Grimmjow.

"I hope it wasn't anything bad," he said quietly.

"Nah! Anyone that can make my kid as happy as he seems to be with you, is alright in my book!"

Grimmjow blushed, glaring bloody murder at his old man. "Pop," he growled.

"Oh, it's true ain't it? Haven't seen ya smile this much in a long time," Alric said, affectionately ruffling Grimmjow's hair, deepening his brilliant blush.

"Jesus, Pop."

Ichigo smiled fondly at him, making him give a crooked grin. _If what his dad said made his boyfriend smile at him like that, then he could endure the embarrassment_.

"Pop, this is Ichi's dad, Isshin," Grimmjow introduced the two older men.

"Isshin Kurosaki! I agree with you one hundred percent! My darling Ichigo hasn't been this happy since his mother passed, kami rest her soul. I always said..." Isshin's voice trailed off as the two headed for the bar, no doubt reminiscing.

Grimmjow glanced at Ichigo, noting his mortified expression, and knowing it probably matched his own. _Who would've guessed both of their fathers were crazy as hell?_

"How come ya didn't tell me your dad was comin'?" he asked, grabbing his boyfriend's hand, and leading him towards the bar, as well.

"I wanted to surprise you. I didn't expect you to be so possessive, though," Ichigo grinned slyly.

"Shutup, I was not."

"Oh, please. You were practically breathing fire, Grimm."

Grimmjow halted their progress, dipping his head to brush his lips across Ichigo's. The red head smiled, leaning into the kiss.

"So what? You're mine," Grimmjow growled. "Come on, I wanna introduce ya to my best friends. 'Member I told ya 'bout Nnoi and Yor?" Ichigo nodded, as they started moving towards the bar again. "They're right there."

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_Las Noches Grand Opening_

_August 2008_

Ichigo hadn't laughed that much...ever. Grimmjow's best friends were hilarious, whether it was the tall, bandana-sporting Nnoitra, or the petite, quietly funny Ulquiorra, they were a riot. He could see why Grimmjow chose to hang with them. The story of how they met and became friends had been extremely entertaining.

After Ichigo and his old man had arrived at the club, the scary ass bouncer had prevented them from entering, claiming he had to check with the boss. He grinned secretly when he realized that he was _dating_ the boss. The giant had gone off to fetch Grimmjow, only for said blue-haired man to come storming towards them wearing a dark scowl, eyes fixed on Isshin.

Ichigo couldn't help teasing the blunet once he recognized the jealousy and possessiveness radiating off of him like a heater. That was after he met Grimmjow's extremely intimidating father. Good grief, the man was _huge_. Ichigo could definitely see where Grimmjow's genes had come from, considering he was the spitting image of the man, from their bright blue hair, equally bright blue eyes, down to the nearly identical height, and deep rumbling voices.

Then the older blunet had proceeded to dote on his son, making Grimmjow blush so adorably, all Ichigo could do was smile. _Their love was damn near tangible_. Isshin had to, of course, jump in with his two cents, thoroughly mortifying him, as the two older men walked off chatting.

That was when Grimmjow had introduced him to Nnoitra and Ulquiorra.

"So, the tall, skinny fucker is Nnoitra Jiruga, but I call 'im Bandana Boy, and this quiet guy is his boyfriend, Ulquiorra Schiffer. I call 'im Yor. These are my brothers. Guys, this is Ichigo," the blunet explained with a sly grin.

"How goes it, berry boy?" Nnoitra asked, a wide piano-toothed grin splitting his face.

"Goes good, Stick," Ichigo threw right back with an eyebrow raised, causing Grimmjow to bark with laughter, and Ulquiorra to smirk slightly. Nnoitra's grin got even wider as he turned to Grimmjow, shrugging nonchalantly.

"He's cool."

"Congratulations, Ichigo, you've just been inducted into the misfits hall of fame," Ulquiorra stated in his reserved manner.

Ichigo chuckled as he realized he'd just been tested, and considered worthy to be a part of their little group. Suddenly, Grimmjow's dad called out to him from the entrance of the club.

"Grimmjow! Time to get this thing started, yeah?"

"Yeah, OK," the younger blunet answered. "C'mon, I gotta go cut the ribbon, so the people can party."

Ichigo was practically dragged along behind his excited boyfriend, as they made their way to the entrance, followed by Nnoitra and Ulquiorra. At the door, he grinned at the sight of Shinji scolding a tired-looking Stark.

"Oh, so ya actually made it on time?" Grimmjow asked, voice laced with amusement.

"He's so lazy," Shinji whined, his face immediately brightening at the sight of Ichigo and Grimmjow holding hands. "Hey, Ichi."

"Hey, Shin," Ichigo answered, sharing a private smile with the blond that conveyed thousands of thoughts and emotions. "Hey, Stark."

Stark lifted his hand in a two-fingered salute, nodding cordially, his gray eyes gleaming mischievously. Ichigo knew from experience that that meant the brunet had something up his sleeve, and planned to spring it on his unsuspecting blond boyfriend later on. Shaking his head, he focused in on Grimmjow's voice as he commanded the crowd's attention.

"Yo! I ain't all proper and shit, and since everyone's grown here, I'll keep it short and simple! Thanks for comin', and welcome to Las Noches! Have fun!" he exclaimed over the excited twittering of the crowd gathered at the entrance, as he grabbed a huge pair of scissors from his father, and snipped through the red ribbon stretching across the midnight-blue awning.

Ichigo smiled widely, wolf-whistling as everyone cheered. He was immensely proud to be part of this moment with Grimmjow. The blue-haired man was currently grinning sheepishly, as his friends clapped him on the back and shook his hand, as he made his way back inside. Somehow, during the ribbon-cutting, they had gotten separated, Ichigo almost being crushed by the anxious crowd.

But then, Grimmjow paused, craning his neck, and searching the sea of faces eager to get inside, until he locked gazes with him. Ichigo gently pushed through the crowd, until he reached his boyfriend's side, looking up into those shining blue depths.

"Congrats, Grimm," he said into the taller man's ear, after standing on his toes, and wrapping his arms around his neck. Grimmjow smiled crookedly, and slipped his arms around his waist.

"Thanks, Ichi," he murmured, before capturing Ichigo's lips in a soft kiss.

Neither was aware of the many pairs of eyes watching them at the moment, a clear green gaze amongst them, shimmering with malice.


	12. The Opening (Part II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even though this is one of my favorite older fics, I still cringe at the excessive use of "Ichi" and the random Japanese words thrown around. Apologies.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_Las Noches Grand Opening_

_August 2008_

Bass shook the entire club hard enough to make the floor and walls vibrate and hum, as bodies swayed and gyrated, grinding and pressing against one another. The smell of sweat, alcohol and smoke filled the packed establishment. Grimmjow grinned at the scene. _Opening night had officially been a raging success_. People had poured in once he'd cut the ribbon, and even though it was two o'clock in the morning, the atmosphere still crawled with excitement and thick sexual tension.

Ichigo sat beside him at the bar, chatting amiably with the bartender, a short dark-haired man named Ayasegawa Yumichika, who insisted that he be called Yumi. The man was as gay as a rainbow, and as obvious as a lit billboard at night, but he was pretty cool, and one hell of a bartender.

He and his partner, Ikkaku, worked the circular bar that was lit with flourescent blue and purple lighting. There was a large crowd, but the two worked efficiently, Yumi managing to hold a conversation flawlessly, as his hands moved rapidly, fixing the patrons their drinks.

Nnoitra and Ulquiorra were seated to Grimmjow's left, Bandana Boy very much inebriated and talking loudly, while Yor-who may have been slightly tipsy-sat beside him, smirking with amusement. Further down, Grimmjow noticed that Gin and Szayel had arrived, the pink-haired man grinning broadly, as Gin stood with his arm across his shoulders. The silver-haired man wore his customary, eye-closing grin, while ordering both of their drinks from Ikkaku. Stark and Hirako were seated on the other side of Ichigo, with Hirako joining in the conversation with Yumi, while Stark watched, his face mildly interested.

Grimmjow didn't blame him, considering the three men were animatedly discussing bondage techniques. He grimaced for what had to be the tenth time, as Yumi enthusiastically described his "neon-orange ball gag" that went perfectly with his similarly colored anal...beads... _what the fuck?_

"What the fuck are anal beads?" Grimmjow interjected. Stark lazily raised his eyebrows, and shook his head with a grin. Hirako, Yumi and Ichigo all turned to him wearing cheshire cat grins. "What?" he asked defensively.

"Well, anal beads are like different sized balls connected together like a necklace that ya stick-" Yumi started.

"Nevermind, never-fucking-mind!" Grimmjow yelped, his eyes the size of dinner plates. "Holy shit, Stark, how can ya listen to that?"

"I'm immune," the brunet drawled.

"Ha!"

Deciding that tuning that little pow wow out was certainly the better option, Grimmjow let his eyes roam the rest of the room. He noticed Yammy laughing heartily at the entrance with his Pop and Ichigo's dad, while he carefully replaced the midnight-blue velvet rope. He briefly wondered what the hell they were talking about, before continuing his slow perusal.

Shuuhei Hisagi worked the turntables with incredible grace, displaying his talent in getting the clubgoers worked into nothing but a writhing mass of bodies. When he'd interviewed the dark-haired young man sporting a tattoo of the number sixty-nine on his left cheek, he'd known instantly that he would be hired as the house dj. Shuuhei was kind of quiet and mysterious, but he specialized in all the music Grimmjow adored. For instance, a popular American song bled and thumped from the speakers.

_Blame it on the Goose, got ya feelin' loose_

_Blame it on the 'Tron, got ya in the zone_

_Blame it on the ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-alcohol_

_Blame it on the vodka, blame it on the Henny_

_Blame it on the Blue Top, got ya feelin' dizzy_

_Blame it on the ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-alcohol_

Suddenly, Ichigo leaned into him, pulling his attention away from the dancefloor, as he spoke lowly in his ear.

"Wanna dance wit' me, Grimm?" he asked innocently, but Grimmjow blanched. _Dance? Here? No fucking way was..._

The look on Ichigo's face at his hesitation made his thoughts screech to a grinding halt. Grimmjow hadn't been prepared for such disappointment shining back at him from the red head's tipsy, sultry brown gaze. _Fuuuuuck_.

"Fine," he growled.

Ichigo cracked a wide grin, making Grimmjow's heart absolutely melt, as his hand was grabbed, and he was dragged unceremoniously towards the dancefloor.

"Ah, shit! Berry boy actually got ya ta dance, Blue?" Nnoitra shouted, too perceptive for someone so fucking drunk, the rhetorical question drawing damn near everyone's attention. _Fucking asshole_.

"WOW!" Shinji added, way too loudly. All eyes were officially on the two. "He never dances so, give 'im hell, Ichi!"

 _He hated them. Every last one of them_. It wasn't that Grimmjow _couldn't_ dance, he was secretly quite good at it; he just wasn't prepared for that private detail to be savagely pushed into the open. No one knew that he spent his spare time listening to nothing but Urban American music, namely rap, hip hop, and r&b. Most of them claimed it wasn't "real" music, but he loved the thumping basslines, mixed with the drugging tempos, creating a raw energy that he couldn't quite describe.

He didn't knock any other types of music, because he liked rock and shit like that too. He was just that versatile and open-minded. Grimmjow remembered his Pop catching him, at the tender age of ten, accurately nailing the current American dance fad, and never being able to live down the older man's laughter and amusement. After that, he kept his love for that world under padlock and key.

 _Now, his friends were doubting him, all because he preferred not to dance in public_. Pursing his lips, he glared at the group gathered at the bar, smirking with mock-condescending expressions. Once Shuuhei switched tracks, the amount of alcohol Grimmjow'd allowed in his system for the evening was quickly dispelled as his adrenaline flowed.

_On mah mama, on mah hood_

_I look fly, I look good_

_Touch mah swag, wish you could_

_I look fly, I look good_

_I look good, I look good_

_I look good, I look good_

It was one of his favorite dance songs at the moment. It was widely unheard of, only popular in American underground clubs, where the method of dancing was solely something called "freakin'". As can be told from the name it was basically sex with clothes on, allowing freedom to let either partner lead.

Smirking conspiratorially, with a lecherous gleam in his eyes, Grimmjow led Ichigo to the edge of the dancefloor, where his friends could easily witness the shattering of the "Grimmjow can't dance" myth.

It took no time at all for the music to completely snatch his conscience, as his body moved with a mind of its own. He grabbed Ichigo's hands, turning the smaller man away from him, as he pressed against his back. Keeping a grip on the red head's hip, he laced the fingers of his free hand through Ichigo's left hand.

Grimmjow moved flawlessly, leading Ichigo in a fast-paced, sexually-charged dance, as his hips thrust forward subtly, grinding against his breathless boyfriend. What he hadn't expected was the erection, growing steadily in his jeans. Biting his bottom lip, sweat forming across his brow, he continued to grind, using the hand that had been on Ichigo's hip to press against the red head's abdomen, fitting them closer together.

 _Oh god, he was fucking horny_.

Grimmjow felt his body shudder slightly when his stiff arousal pressed against Ichigo's soft bottom. _Holy. Fucking. Hell_. His breathing was reduced to harsh pants, as his mind took a turn for the extremely naughty, especially when Ichigo began loosening up, matching him move for move.

 _This was so close to dry humping, it wasn't even funny_. Grimmjow's heart was racing, pulse pounding in his ears along with the heavy bass of the song, as he closed his eyes and grit his teeth. _This was getting incredibly dangerous, and his dick was threatening to burst through his jeans_.

Suddenly, Ichigo stiffened, and jumped back against him, yelling angrily. Grimmjow was slightly relieved for the distraction, until he realized the cause for said distraction. Halibel stood, smiling smugly, with an empty glass in her hand. After stepping around Ichigo to get a better look at his front, Grimmjow narrowed his eyes dangerously.

 _Fucking bitch_.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Ichigo yelled over the music, eyes glinting with barely concealed fury.

"Grimmjow, will you wake the hell up, already? This is embarrassing! You're not some fucking fruitcake, unlike this little pussy here!" Halibel spat angrily in Ichigo's direction, while at the same time completely disregarding him.

Grimmjow licked his lips, feeling anger consuming him at frightening speed, as his hands balled into tight fists, and his teeth ground together. _He had never been good at keeping his rage at bay, and here this woman was testing him_.

"Hal, I'm only gonna say this shit once, so listen close. I am with Ichigo. We are a couple. If that makes me a fuckin' fruitcake, then so be it. I've accepted it, and it's time you do the same. And what the fuck? You don't have a say in my life, remember? You left without a backward glance, so don't think you can waltz back and start dictating shit!" Grimmjow paused for a breath, while Halibel fumed, clear green eyes glittering with hostility.

Without warning, she reared back, and pasted her hand across Ichigo's cheek. "LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO HIM!" she screamed.

Grimmjow didn't hit women, so he certainly hadn't been prepared to lose all semblance of his cool, but when Halibel put her hands on his Ichigo, all because of some misguided idea that he wasn't really gay, he'd seen red. However, before Grimmjow could even move, thick arms wrapped around him from behind, immobilizing him completely.

"Young lady, it's clear that you've made yourself unwelcome, so I suggest ya leave. Now," his father's deep voice traveled from behind him. Swallowing and breathing slowly, Grimmjow's fierce anger ebbed until he was able to actually speak without snarling.

"Pop, I'm good," he said, more calmly than he felt, before his father reluctantly released him.

He was still pissed, but he obviously had nothing on Ichigo at the moment. Hirako must have come at the same time as Grimmjow's dad, because the slender blond was struggling to keep Ichigo still. The orange-haired man was writhing against Hirako's arms, face pulled into a harsh scowl, and brown eyes positively glowing with outrage. Finally, he stilled, glaring disdainfully at Halibel.

"You're a _stupid_ bitch! Do you fuckin' realize how _dumb_ you sound? Grimmjow is a grown-fuckin'-man! I can't force him to do anything _he doesn't wanna do!_ You're lucky I'm a guy, or else I'd kick your ass my damned self!" Ichigo snapped, before twisting in Hirako's arms again. "Shinji get the fuck off me," he growled.

"No, Ichi, ya need to calm down," the blond responded nervously.

"I already said I won't touch her!"

"Hirako, s'alright, you can let him go," Grimmjow stated, stepping over to his distressed boyfriend, but not before pinning Halibel with a scathing look. "Get out."

"You've lost your mind," Halibel huffed and stormed away, his Pop and Yammy escorting her to the door.

"You ok, Ichi?" Grimmjow asked, his voice concerned, as he put his arms around Ichigo's shoulders.

"She pissed me off, but I'm good. My shirt's ruined though," the red head answered, glaring down at the large stain spread across the front of the royal blue material.

"I might have somethin' ya can throw on in my office."

"Thanks, Grimm."

"Ichi, where'd your dad go?" Grimmjow questioned curiously, as he craned his neck and searched the club.

"He left. Said he wanted to get back to my sisters."

"Ah."

"Well, on another note...can I just say...HOLY SHIT, GRIMMJOW!" Hirako squealed, hopping from foot to foot. "How come you didn't tell anyone you could move like that?"

"Wasn't anyone's business," Grimmjow grumbled. It really wasn't, and if they all hadn't been as persistent as they had been, they never would've known. _He would've much rather kept it to himself_.

"But you're really good!" Hirako continued, still dancing about excitedly. Grimmjow scoffed before answering.

"That was nothin'. Oi, Hirako, what the fuck is wrong with you? Ya gotta piss er somethin'?"

Hirako blushed, grinning sheepishly as he nodded, then took off for the bathroom. Grimmjow shook his head. _Something was wrong with that guy. He honestly didn't see how Stark had survived this long in a relationship with the blond_. Turning his mind to more important matters, he glanced at Ichigo.

"C'mon, I'll take ya to my office."

"Yeah, he'll take ya ta his office alright!" Nnoitra tactlessly added, causing both him and Ichigo to blush, while his small cluster of friends laughed heartily. _Always fucking Bandana Boy with the sarcastic remarks_.

Grimmjow led Ichigo to the back of the club, and up a set of stairs. At the top of the staircase were a pair of wooden double doors that needed to be unlocked with a card key. After pulling the silver card from his back pocket, Grimmjow unlocked the doors, and once inside, flicked on the lights.

He immediately went into the private bathroom, emerging with a dark-blue t-shirt bearing the club's name in white lettering across the back. He handed it to Ichigo, and leaned back against his desk, waiting for the red head to slip it on.

Grimmjow watched in amusement as Ichigo's face took on a pink tint, while he pulled the soiled shirt over his head. The amusement quickly darkened to lust, however, when his gaze traveled over what seemed like miles of tanned silky-looking skin stretched over a subtly toned torso.

He swallowed thickly and counted backwards from ten. Grimmjow certainly hadn't expected to get turned on at the sight of another man's body. _But that was just it, wasn't it? Ichigo wasn't just any man. He was the_ only _man. The only man Grimmjow had ever found attractive, the only man he had ever desired, kissed, and generally wanted to be with_.

As much as he wanted Ichigo, he wouldn't go after the red head tonight like he'd originally planned. They'd both had more alcohol than he'd care to admit, and he didn't want their first time to be reduced to drunken debauchery. Grimmjow grinned. _He didn't think kissing would be too bad, though_.

Before Ichigo had a chance to fit the t-shirt Grimmjow had given him over his head, the blunet pressed against his back and rubbed his hands over slightly rippled stomach muscles, to settle on narrow hips. Grimmjow felt Ichigo's breath catch, but after a few seconds of shocked tensing, the red head relaxed, and leaned back against him.

"What are you doing?" the younger man asked breathlessly. Grimmjow nuzzled his neck, then nibbled his right ear.

"Enjoying the view up close," he murmured.

Ichigo turned in his arms, peering up at him through his bright orange bangs, before he leaned forward and grinned crookedly.

"Grimm, are you drunk?" he whispered. Grimmjow just gaped. A lesser man would've probably been offended, but he, on the other hand, could only laugh.

"Ichi...I'm hurt," he sniffed dramatically, as he clutched his chest. Ichigo slid his hands up Grimmjow's chest, before he wrapped his arms around his neck, and kissed the hollow below his adam's apple.

"Oh, yeah?" he responded, his voice downright seductive, making heat quickly erupt in Grimmjow's stomach.

"Yeah, totally wounded." He pulled the berry head closer by his hips, and bent his head, rubbing their noses together. Ichigo gave a husky chuckle, and played with the hairs at the nape of Grimmjow's neck.

"Aww, c'mere and lemme make it all better then," the red head murmured before cupping the back of his neck, and pressing their lips together.

_Whyyyyy had he thought this would be a good idea?_

In no time at all, Grimmjow had pried his boyfriend's mouth open, and was aggressively claiming it, tongues twining and molding together in an intricate dance. He'd been so caught up in the kiss that he didn't realize they had been moving, until his ass collided with the edge of his desk, but even that did nothing to disconnect their mouths.

_Good Lord, the fucking noises Ichigo was making..._

Breathy moans, quiet whimpers, and soft mewls were being dragged from the other man, and it made Grimmjow nearly insane with want. His hands just wouldn't... _couldn't_...keep still. They roamed over Ichigo's bare back, pressing him closer, as he rested himself on the edge of his desk. He opened his legs, and Ichigo stepped between them, as if he were made expressly for that purpose.

Without warning, Ichigo became extremely aggressive, pulling back from the kiss and licking a trail across his jaw, down to his neck. Grimmjow couldn't breathe at all, as his orange-haired boyfriend assaulted his clavicle with his warm, wet tongue.

"I-Ichi-" Grimmjow's voice completely died, as he sucked in a surprised breath. He hadn't even realized that Ichigo had been in the process of unbuttoning his shirt, but it was abruptly brought to his attention when fingers pinched his right nipple, while the red head suckled his left. "J-Jesus, Jesus, Jesus..." was all he could manage.

 _Hot. He was so fucking hot_. Everything felt like it was on fire, like someone had attached him to a spit and started roasting him over an open flame. Grimmjow couldn't think straight since all of his blood was currently pooled in his groin. He'd never had his nipples sucked before, and instead of being angry and feeling like a woman, he was enjoying it.

 _Good heavens, was he enjoying it_.

Grimmjow also thought taking things further with Ichigo would be awkward, but none of it was. He supposed he should just get used to that, yet he couldn't. It always came as a surprise, albeit a pleasant one.

His entire body was trembling, and it only looked to get worse, because Ichigo was trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses down his abdomen. _Shit. He had to stop him before things went too-_

"ICHI!" Grimmjow yelped. All Ichigo did was grin wolfishly in response, as he continued his torture. The emboldened red head was palming Grimmjow's erection through his jeans, and he thought he would die.

_Ichigo. Was touching. His dick._

_Holy shittin' shoes..._

Grimmjow growled like an animal, as Ichigo unbuckled his belt, undid the button and slid down the zipper to his jeans. He knew there was _something_ he was supposed to be doing, but his mind was done. Thinking had taken a back seat, and fuzz had replaced brain cells as soon as Ichigo had made contact with his aching arousal, pulling it free from his boxers.

"I-Ichigo, I-I-" words failed him, but he'd managed to grasp a fistful of Ichigo's hair, and tug gently. Passion-filled brown eyes gazed up at him almost pleadingly.

"Grimm, lemme do this for you, ne?" that brown gaze reconnected with his straining length, as long fingers wrapped around its base, "I wanna do this."

 _He was speechless. What could he say to that? Any red-blooded male in his right mind would never turn down free fellatio, but he really didn't want to cheapen their intimate moment, considering they both had been drinking_. He cleared his throat, and forced words into existence.

"I-Ichi, I just don't wanna-"

"It won't. I'm not drunk, Grimmjow, I know what I'm doing, and I know what I want. Right now, I wanna suck my boyfriend off. Is that too much to ask?"

_Aside from that being the sexiest fucking thing he had ever heard in his entire life, if Ichigo wanted it that badly, who the fuck was he to say "no"?_

Before he could even respond, Ichigo was swirling his tongue around the head of his dick, then gently teasing the slit.

 _Words were impossible_. Only noises seemed to work at the moment, and even those were spastic and fleeting. Grimmjow was biting his fist, as his toes curled and blood roared in his ears. _This was by no means his first blowjob, but by god did it feel like it. It was flawless. Ichigo applied the perfect amount of pressure while he..._

_Ichigo was sucking him off..._

Grimmjow glanced down and his eyes locked with lusty brown. That was when he realized Ichigo was jerking himself off as he blew him and, shame on him, he came so hard it felt like his spine had been yanked out as well.

"OH MY FUCKIN' GOD!" he shouted, his toes curled so tight, they were cramping.

Ichigo just grinned, and god help him, swallowed, then licked his lips afterwards, as he rose to his feet. Grimmjow noticed that the red head was clutching the dirty blue shirt to his groin, then assumed he'd used it to clean up after himself. _Shit, he'd been so far gone that he'd missed Ichigo's orgasm. Fuck_.

Grimmjow felt like such a pig. He was sweating, trembling, and his breathing was labored, making his chest heave. He certainly couldn't move, because his legs would surely give out at any moment.

"You ok?" Ichigo asked, his voice innocent.

"No," he breathed. "I can't move."

Ichigo chuckled and helped Grimmjow tuck himself away, button his shirt, then placed a kiss on his cheek. Grimmjow knew he was crossing into that realm that he, once upon a time, never envisioned himself being in, but he didn't give a shit. He gripped Ichigo's chin, and kissed him fully on the lips, then parted them, and swept his tongue inside that sinful mouth.

Once again he expected to be repulsed or _something_ , and even though he was tasting himself on his boyfriend's tongue, it didn't bother him. Grimmjow actually...dare he say...liked it.

"Ichigo, you-"

"GRIMMJOW! WE'RE CLOSIN' UP!" his Pop yelled from the other side of the double doors.

"Alright!" Grimmjow glanced at Ichigo again and smiled sheepishly. "We'll talk later, yeah?"

"Idiot, there's nothin' to talk about. Come on," Ichigo answered after fixing his jeans, slipping the club shirt over his head, and stalking to the doors.

Grimmjow followed in a hypnotic state, mind reeling, and body positively humming. As he flicked off the lights and closed his office up, he thought about how weird he should be feeling after being so intimate with a man, but instead could only focus on how much he wanted to go all the way with his Ichi.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_Las Noches Grand Opening_

_August 2008_

_Three Hours Ago_

_"So, Isshin, Grimmjow's told me about Ichigo's past. He's had a rough time of it, eh?" Alric asked the elder Kurosaki. Isshin nodded soberly._

_"Yes, it's been troublesome, but he's a strong boy. Much stronger than I could've hoped to be in his shoes."_

_"Well, I'm sure it helps to have a supportive family. I try to be as open-minded as possible with Grimmjow, and he knows it. Tell me, when did ya find out that Ichigo was gay?"_

_Isshin gulped the last of the amber liquid that had been in his glass, before raising it towards the bartender, a bald young man with a quiet disposition. Unlike his partner._

_Alric prided himself on his observational skills, but for the life of him couldn't figure out what the bald fella saw in the little raven-haired man he worked with. Not that he would. He wasn't of the homosexual persuasion. He'd leave that to his son._

_"Well, let's see..." Isshin began. He had taken so long to answer, Alric almost thought he didn't intend to. "It was rather recently. I'd say his third year of high school, he came to me and told me everything."_

_"Everything?"_

_"Mmhm. I, uh, had threatened him because he kept coming home bruised and beaten up. Naturally, I worried. He would always just tell me it was no big deal. I don't understand why kids think their parents are dense!" the dark-haired male huffed, and Alric chuckled._

_"I completely agree. Go on," he urged._

_"After I successfully scared him into talking, he told me he was being beaten and jumped by a group of kids that didn't like him because...because he was gay. I was furious! I demanded to know who was in this group, but he wouldn't tell me. It didn't take long for me to put two and two together, though."_

_"How did ya figure it out?" Alric asked, genuinely curious. He certainly wouldn't have been able to. Grimmjow played his cards too close to his chest when he didn't want something known._

_"Ichigo had a best friend named Renji. The boys did everything together, the true definition of inseparable...or so I'd thought. Around the time that Ichigo started getting into fights, I realized that Renji had stopped coming by. Whenever I asked about him, Ichigo would close up, drawing inwards, and I would have to change the subject just to get him to speak. I figured it out from that," Isshin stated, then paused to sip his drink._

_Well damn. Alric tossed his drink back, and re-lit his cigar, puffing thoughtfully. That was pretty messed up. Grimmjow had told him that the people that hurt the little orange-haired kid had been his friends, but he didn't realize they'd been that close. Damn shame._

_"So, did ya know my kid was the object of Ichigo's desire?" He had to know._

_"Oh-ho, yes. He hadn't told me that little fun fact, I had to figure that one out on my own, as well. Well, I had a little help from his friend Shinji, but Ichigo made it so obvious the way he would stare whenever he saw Grimmjow. At first, I didn't think much of it, but when Ichigo dropped his favorite manga to watch your boy walk past our home, I knew there was more to it. I went to Shinji when all Ichigo would do was ignore my questions, and he told me that Grimmjow had been the one to make Ichigo realize he liked boys," Isshin said, glancing at him from the corner of his eye._

_"Really, now? Grimmjow didn't tell me that," Alric huffed, "but how didn't my kid see that?"_

_"Grimmjow was straight, and pretty much oblivious. Not to mention, Ichigo was younger and not in his classes. They only happened upon one another occasionally."_

_"Jeez, he's such a dunce. When he came to me with the news that he was dating a guy, I'll admit I was surprised, only because I'd thought we'd had that conversation already. Couple years ago I asked him if he was gay since all of his friends were, and he told me no, so I dropped it. Guess he changed his mind," Alric chuckled, "Well, they're happy together, that's for sure."_

_He and Isshin looked towards the opposite end of the bar where their sons sat beside each other, Grimmjow sometimes putting his arm around Ichigo's waist, as he leaned over to hear him over the music, and Ichigo giving Grimmjow looks of pure adoration._

_"Yes. Ichigo has smiled more times since he's been with Grimmjow, than he's ever smiled in his life. I'm happy as long as he's happy. It's such a relief to see him not being depressed," Isshin beamed._

_"Hear, hear," Alric agreed happily, as he lifted his glass. "May they stay that way."_

_"Indeed."_

_Their glasses clinked together gently, and both men fell silent, as they sipped their drinks._

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_August 2008_

"Are you sure you can drive home?" Ichigo asked skeptically, eyeing Grimmjow.

"I'll be fine, Ichi. Go get some rest," the blunet responded with a loud yawn. "Aren't ya tired? I am."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just...be careful, OK?"

Grimmjow's pearly white teeth were displayed with his next grin, as he pulled Ichigo close and nuzzled his neck. Then he lifted his head slightly, and kissed his lips. Ichigo would never get tired of his boyfriend's kisses.

"Ya worried 'bout me, Ichi?"

"Of course I am. I don't want anything happening to you yet," he teased.

"Yet? What's this 'yet' business?"

"Well, Grimm, the truth is...I'm only using you for sex," he whispered conspiratorially. Grimmjow grinned and shook his head.

"Stupid. Even if ya were, ya'd still be stuck with me. Now, go to bed before your sleepy-time sillyness becomes contagious. I'll call ya when I touch down, how 'bout that?" the larger man murmured, before kissing both of Ichigo's cheeks, then his lips.

"Fine. Make sure you call!"

"Yes, dear," Grimmjow answered sarcastically, as he rounded his car, and climbed inside.

"I mean it!"

Grimmjow just smirked, gave him a small wave and peeled out of the lot. Ichigo smiled happily, and made his way into his apartment, headed for the elevator.

Even though Grimmjow's ex had tried to ruin his night by dousing his shirt with alcohol, she'd failed miserably, because tonight had to have been the second best night of his life. His mind was still replaying the hot and heavy moment with Grimmjow in his office. Ichigo really hadn't planned to go that far with his blue-haired boyfriend, but he'd almost been blinded with lust, and it had had nothing to do with the alcohol.

 _He wanted Grimmjow even more now_.

Ichigo wanted to do every naughty thing he could think of and then some to the man. The dancing, the touching, the kissing, and then...what had happened in the office, all added to his anticipation. He was practically squirming just thinking about Grimmjow's smell, his body, his taste, his-

The elevator doors slid open, and Ichigo stepped forward, trying to reign in his dirty thoughts and desires. The ride was silent and surprisingly short, and when the doors slid open again, Ichigo shuffled forward, intent on showering and falling into bed. _Four-thirty in the morning. He really was exhausted_.

He unlocked his apartment, stepped inside, then shut and relocked the door. Before he could turn around, he was shoved violently against the wooden portal, the left side of his face digging into it. His arms were crossed behind his back, and his attacker had him pressed so closely to the door, movement was impossible.

"Where's your blue bodyguard now, Strawberry?"

Ichigo's eyes widened, as he recognized the voice of his assailant.

Renji.


	13. What It All Comes Down To

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_August 2008_

"Where's your blue bodyguard now, Strawberry?"

"What the fuck?" Ichigo snarled through clenched teeth. Renji had his arms pinned back in such a way, that even the slightest movement sent sharp stabs of pain shooting through his chest, making breathing almost unbearable. "Get the fuck off me, asshole!"

"Ooo-hoo, feisty! I like that," Renji breathed in his ear.

Ichigo didn't like this. He felt vulnerable. Trapped. Caught at a huge disadvantage. Not to mention, Renji smelled like he had taken a soak in a tub full of alcohol, so there was no telling how unpredictable he was bound to be. The unmistakable odor seemed to seep from the bigger man's pores.

"How'd you get in my house?"

Renji shoved Ichigo to the floor and straddled his hips while pinning his wrists down. Ichigo thrashed and bucked, kicking his legs and basically trying anything in his power to get the drunk red head off of him, but Renji held fast, then leaned forward, the smell of vodka washing over Ichigo's face. His lips curled in distaste and Renji grinned.

"Fire escape. You should really lock your windows, sweetheart," then Renji frowned in annoyance at Ichigo's insistent thrashing, "and stop fuckin' movin' like that! You're prob'ly enjoyin' that shit, little faggot!" he spat, punching the orange head sharply on the jaw, making his head snap to the right and black spots dance across his vision.

_Fuck! All he'd wanted to do was come home, shower, and sleep, but now he had to deal with his psychotic ex-best friend. Who breaks into someone's apartment nearly five in the morning just to fight? Seriously?_

Ichigo tasted blood and grimaced, his ire starting to rise. He'd only bitten his tongue, but Renji had long since crossed the line, and it was time the prick got a taste of his own fucking medicine.

Renji lifted his arm to swing again, and right in that split second, Ichigo shot his right hand up, and using the heel of his palm, connected forcefully with the other man's chin. Renji fell backwards, grabbing his chin, his limbs trembling.

" _Motherfucker_ ," he hissed, eyes wild with something Ichigo was afraid to label. "Don't get cocky, you fruity shit!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm fruity, I'm gay, but you're just fuckin' stupid," Ichigo retorted, rolling to his feet and hovering over the livid red head. "Tell me again, Renji, why do fight me all the time?"

"You're a fuckin' homo! You don't even deserve to breathe!"

Ichigo's hard brown eyes turned into tiny little slits as he narrowed them at the ignorant bastard at his feet. Sheer rage overcoming his senses, he reared back and mule-kicked the stupid fucker in the chest, making him sprawl onto his back, coughing and gasping for air.

Renji was pretty much immobile, but Ichigo straddled his hips, and pinned him to the floor anyway. The red head's eyes went comically wide, his features creased with terror. _What the hell?_

"Get the fuck off me! Don't fuckin' touch me!" Renji screamed in the midst of a full-out panic. "Get your filthy hands off me! I won't let you hurt me again!"

It was Ichigo's turn to have his eyes widen as he stared down at the man thrashing desperately beneath him. He gripped Renji's wrists, clamping them to the floor as he leaned in to get the larger man to focus.

"Renji? What the fuck is wrong with you?" Ichigo queried nervously, his face only inches from the other's, but that only served to worsen the situation. Renji's lips pulled down at the corners before he abruptly started screaming.

_What in the fucking world?_

They weren't manly screams either (if those even existed), they were high-pitched, blood-chilling, help-me-I'm-dying screams. Screams that raised the hair on the back of one's neck, and sent goosebumps skittering down one's spine. _Scary as hell_.

Ichigo leaped back, wondering if he should just go ahead and call an asylum for the obviously disturbed young man. He observed with eyes the size of saucers, as Renji sat up, scooting backwards with his arms raised and crossed in front of his face, as if to ward Ichigo off.

"Please! Please don't! I'll be good! I won't tell my mom, I swear!" he begged, tears now making tracks down his cheeks, and his nose beginning to run.

Ichigo gaped like a fish, mouth opening and closing in shock. _What...the...fuck? Something was obviously very wrong here, but he had no idea how to proceed_. Whenever he stepped forward Renji flinched drastically like he'd pulled a gun.

His phone vibrated in his pocket damn near making him jump clear out of his skin.

He fumbled in his pocket, then pulled the device to his ear. "H-hello," his voice trembled and cracked horribly.

"Oi, what's wrong? Why d'ya sound like that? Were ya sleepin' already?"

 _Grimmjow_. Ichigo breathed a deep sigh.

"Uh, n-not exactly. I, um, well..."

"Ichigo," Grimmjow growled, "what's goin' on?" _Fuck_.

"R-Renji's here. He broke into my apartment and attacked me and we were fighting but we're not anymore...Grimm?" Ichigo said quickly, but paused when Grimmjow didn't respond. _Did the call get disconnected?_ Then...

"He _what?"_

"Well-"

"Ichigo, are you hurt?" Grimmjow's voice was quiet, but frightening. He could feel the anger the man was holding back, pulsing through the phone line. "Nevermind, I'm coming," he snapped and the sound of a soft click was the last thing Ichigo heard.

"Great. He's probably gonna kill him," he muttered to himself.

Ichigo glanced down at the red head, who now had his legs drawn up tightly to his chest, his arms wrapped around them, eyes wide and watery as he rocked back and forth, whimpering softly. _He couldn't beat his ass like that. Besides something was wrong. Why had he said he wouldn't tell his mom? And that he would be good, like he was a child trying to talk his way out of an ass-whooping?_

Ichigo perched himself on the arm of his love seat, contemplating the bizarre situation, but the more he tried to figure things out, the more questions arose. _Talk about fucking frustrated_.

He was in the middle of speculating when _Three Days Grace_ 's "Never Too Late" sounded from the floor near the door. _What the hell?_ Ichigo followed the sound and found a small red cell phone, ringing insistently. _Renji must've dropped it during the scuffle_. He peered at the readout and arched a brow. _Uncle? Hunh. Maybe he could get some answers_.

"Hello?" he tentatively greeted. There was a brief silence before...

"K-Kurosaki-kun?"

"Urahara-san?" Ichigo yelped. _There was no fucking way! His boss was Renji's fucking uncle? Why didn't he know that?_ "W-what the hell?"

"I believe that's my line! Is my nephew unavailable?" the normally cheery blond cautiously asked.

"Er, well, you could say that. Actually, c-could you come pick him up? He's not doing too well," Ichigo fidgeted nervously, picking at a piece of lint on the t-shirt Grimmjow had given him at the club.

"Is he sick?"

"No, he, um...maybe you should just come see for yourself."

"Fine. Do you still live-" Urahara started, but Ichigo cut across him, eager to get him moving. _He really didn't want the red head there when Grimmjow showed up because it certainly wouldn't be pretty_.

"Yep. Same place you dropped me off before."

"Give me ten minutes."

Ichigo disconnected the call and looked down at Renji again, shifting uncomfortably as he did so. His ex-best friend was still rocking back and forth, staring at the opposite wall.

This was too much excitement going on within the space of twenty-four hours, and Ichigo was at a fucking loss. Violent, crazed Renji he could deal with, but this thing sitting on his floor looking fit for a straight-jacket and a padded room, not so much. Then add to the mix, his boss, Kisuke Urahara, was the guy's fucking uncle.

_What the hell, man?_

When he and Renji had still been on friendly terms, he remembered the loud red head mentioning an uncle and two cousins, but he would never introduce Ichigo to them, claiming they weren't important. Now that he thought about it, Renji always only came over to his place, he never offered to have Ichigo over. They always met up at school, the arcade or his house.

 _No wonder he didn't know shit about Urahara_.

As he observed Renji he realized that there was a lot that he probably didn't know about the guy. He hadn't been very forthcoming about his past, family or other friends, and Ichigo had never paid it any mind, thinking Renji just didn't want to talk about it. _Hell, everyone had secrets, right?_

 _Obviously, Renji's secrets were still haunting him_.

A thunderous knock at the door startled both him and Renji, the red head shouting and flinching at the same time, while Ichigo just shook his head exasperatedly. _No question who that was trying to knock his fucking door down_. He stalked over, threw it open, and like a gust of ice cold wind, Grimmjow's anger took his breath away.

"Where is he? I'll kill 'im," he snarled. Ichigo cocked a brow.

"First of all, calm down, Terminator. Everything's fine now," he stated, trying to soothe the beast currently breathing fire in front of him.

"You're bleeding and your jaw is bruised. How is that fine?"

Grimmjow was cute when he was trying to be protective, but right now, Ichigo was trying to prevent World War III from occurring in his living room. The blunet stormed past him, only to freeze at the sight of a cowering Renji. He slowly turned to face Ichigo, perfect blue eyebrow arched in amusement.

"Damn, Ichi. What the fuck didja do to him?" he laughed.

"Baka! I only hit him back once, but when I pinned him down, he started screaming like a bitch in a horror flick. It was fuckin' creepy," Ichigo retorted with a shudder. Just thinking about those screams gave him chills.

"What?"

"Yeah, that's why I said shit's fine. He's been like _that_ ever since," he pointed at Renji. "I don't get it."

"Well, what the fuck're ya gonna do with him? I've got some ideas," Grimmjow said, a mischievous gleam in his electric blue eyes.

"No, he needs help! Look at him," Ichigo scolded, hands on his hips.

"Yer gettin' soft, babe," Grimmjow started gently, as he stood in front of him and wrapped his arms around his waist, "It was the same with that Ikkaku guy."

"I'm not getting soft, Grimm, I'm just satisfied knowing karma is indeed a bitch in a bad mood, and I don't wanna come back in my next life as a cockroach or something. Everyone deserves a second chance. I mean, who are we to judge anyone?"

Grimmjow smiled at him, then pulled him into a hug, and Ichigo sighed deeply, embracing his boyfriend right back. _Grimm felt so good_. Then he noticed what the blue-haired man was wearing, and unable to stop himself, burst into hysterical laughter.

"Grimm...what in god's name...are you wearing?" he gasped, tears forming in his eyes. Grimmjow glared at him with narrowed sapphire-blue orbs.

"I was in bed, ya little jerk," he snapped sullenly, mouth settling into an adorable pout.

The man was wearing a ratty black t-shirt with about a million tiny holes at the hem, black pajama pants with neon green cats, their backs hunched, fur bristling and tails stick-straight, all over them. Upon closer inspection, Ichigo realized the cats were glow-in-the-dark. _Wow_. Add a pair of rundown black Nike Air Force One sneakers with no socks, and you had Grimmjow's outfit.

"Heh, jeez, that's...classic," Ichigo chuckled.

"Shutup, they're my favorite jammies," he grumbled, then wrapped Ichigo in a headlock, giving him a noogie.

"Ow, ow, ow! Fuck, your knuckles are hard! Stop!"

"And don't ya forget it!"

Suddenly, Renji stirred, but immediately settled back down. Grimmjow let Ichigo loose, glaring down at the red-haired man with obvious contempt.

"Ichi, I don't see how ya can forgive these guys for what they did to ya," Grimmjow muttered.

"Everyone has a story, Grimm. They're no different," Ichigo stated quietly.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_February 2008_

_Karakura General Hospital_

_A lie. It had all been a filthy fucking lie, and it took the orange-haired little bastard beating the life out of him, for him to realize it. How he had allowed himself to be led down such a destructive path, he would never know. Maybe his own sense of denial? Fear? Or just good, old-fashioned stupidity?_

_Whatever the case, Ikkaku had been living a lie, and it was time to stop the madness. He was being a hypocrite, joining Renji in beating the fuck out of an innocent kid all because the kid was gay. God, he disgusted himself._

_And Yumi. His beautiful Yumi. If he ever found out what Ikkaku had been up to for the past few years, he would leave without looking back, and it would be his own damned fault. Losing Yumi would quite literally kill him. The raven-haired man was the only good thing in his life, considering his past had been bleak, from his mother being a prostitute to his father being a dope-addicted criminal, in and out of prison. He'd been raised by the system, finally living on his own at sixteen, which was around the time he met and started hanging out with Kira and Renji._

_They had been his only real friends, or so he'd thought. He had known since he was twelve that he liked boys, but when Renji had befriended him without question, and didn't ignore or shun him because of his appearance, he'd had no choice but to hide that from the openly homophobic teen. He felt like he owed him that much._

_Ikkaku didn't know why Renji was so against homosexuality, but whatever the reason, it ran deep and had the red-haired boy tight within its clutches. Shortly after, they started abusing the orange-haired boy, Ichigo Kurosaki. He'd found out from Rukia, Renji's fucking shadow of a girlfriend, that Ichigo and Renji had been best friends not too long before they started attacking him._

_That was fucking sad and made him more than skeptical of his "friend". If Renji could turn on someone he'd been close to for years, then he didn't stand a chance in hell. So, he'd lied, hiding his true self from his "friend", and mercilessly attacking Ichigo at every opportunity. It was sickening, but his sense of loyalty towards Renji wouldn't let him walk away from it._

_He started hating himself and having nightmares as time went by. Then he met Yumi. He had been eighteen, in a seedy little bar where the owner didn't give a shit who he served, when the dark-haired vixen had snatched his attention. He'd come in to relieve the last bartender, and Ikkaku had instantly been smitten. That love at first sight shit had always been for sappy suckers, but now...he was a firm believer. Yumi had stolen his heart that night with three words, "Ya need somethin'?"_

_He'd been so drunk that his normally flawless mask had slipped, and he'd asked the guy out. His pride had been decimated when Yumi had flat-out refused, but instead gone on to slip Ikkaku his number with a, "call me when you're sober." So, he had. They'd gone out on several dates, Ikkaku always making sure they stayed away from Renji's haunts, and by their sixth date they'd had mind-blowing sex._

_Ikkaku was well and truly smitten, in love, head over heels...all that good shit, but it was becoming increasingly hard to keep Yumi a secret. He wanted to stand on the nearest rooftop and scream his feelings to the entire city, but that would only be counter-productive, no matter how satisfying._

_Then, the shit with Ichigo had come to a head in October. They had ganged up on him in impossible numbers, chased him down, then proceeded to damn near beat the kid to death. He'd had nightmares about that for months. His only consolation had been the blue-haired guy that came out of nowhere with a gun to rescue the orange head. That night had changed everything for him. Left to his own devices, Renji would have, without a doubt, killed Ichigo._

_After they fled the area, Ikkaku had cornered his red-haired "friend" and told him he couldn't do it anymore. He refused to keep abusing someone whose supposed crime he was guilty of as well. It was ridiculous._

_Renji hadn't reacted the way he'd expected, only shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly and stalking off in the opposite direction, Rukia close on his heels. They hadn't spoken since then. Last he heard, Kira and the other members of their makeshift gang had abandoned the cause as well, leaving only Renji and Rukia._

_Things had been going well, him and Yumi getting along wonderfully, until they'd had the mother of all arguments, and he'd left. Angry as hell because Yumi was pissed about him still smoking, being completely unreasonable, he'd gone off in search of a pick-me up. Stopping at a pretty popular club, he'd popped an ex-pill for the first time ever with an old acquaintance, and gone inside to get his party on. And he had. Although his guilt for fighting needlessly with Yumi had been festering and bubbling beneath the surface the entire time._

_Then he ran into Ichigo, intense anger swallowing him whole, as he took out his frustrations on the orange head. It hadn't been pretty for Ikkaku. Ichigo had broken his nose, split his bottom lip, put a gash above his left eye, and had given him a concussion, but also consequently knocked some sense into him._

_The next thing he knew, he'd awakened in a hospital bed, Yumi beside him, eyes red and exhausted, and he'd caved, telling his raven-haired boyfriend about everything. Ichigo included. Yumi had been upset, disappointed even, but above all, understanding. He'd told Ikkaku that the past was behind him, and the time for repenting and making amends had come. That had been two days ago._

_Ikkaku loved Yumi so much it physically hurt._

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_Las Noches_

_July 2008_

_"Yumi, this is crazy! He's probably gonna shoot me!" Ikkaku snapped, tugging at his lover's sleeve._

_"Ikku-chan, don't be a coward! You haven't been taking those classes for nothing! Now come on!"_

_Yumi's face was stern, gaze unflinching as he stared him down. This was terrible. He wasn't a fool, and he knew the blue-haired boss of the soon-to-be-opened gay club, Las Noches, would remember him from what he'd done to Ichigo. He was also aware that they were dating, having heard from his know-it-all boyfriend, and that certainly did NOT bode well for him._

_Fuck, he was gonna get shot in broad daylight._

_"Yumi, he doesn't like me, I'm sure of it. Why do I have to do this?" he whined, very unmanly-like._

_"We work together, baka."_

_They stopped at the foot of a wide set of stairs that led to a pair of large, wooden double doors, then proceeded upwards, Ikkaku's heart beating triple-time._

_He's gonna kill me, he's gonna kill me, he's gonna kill me-_

_Yumi knocked on the doors, and there was the sound of papers shifting, soft laughter and whispering before the command to "come in" was boomed by a familiar deep voice. He froze when Yumi opened one of the doors, and stepped inside. He couldn't go through with this. Why had Yumi brought him to his death? He thought his boyfriend loved him..._

_"Ikku-chan, come on," Yumi coaxed, sticking his head out the open door to peer at him._

_Fuck it. If he was gonna die, he wasn't going out like a goddamned coward. Straightening his back and hardening his resolve, he stepped into the room with Yumi smiling warmly beside him. He could do this._

_His confidence stumbled slightly when his eyes landed on a pair of narrowed ocean-blue eyes glaring at him with obvious loathing. He swallowed nervously, but lifted his chin defiantly. He wasn't a coward. But then..._

_"Ah, Ikkaku! Nice to see you again," Ichigo smirked from beside the blue-haired man's desk. Shit! Oh, yes, today he would meet divine judgment._

_"I-Ichigo," he nodded hesitantly as he stared. His heart had risen into his throat and threatened to jump right out of his mouth any second now. Seeing the kid again had snapped something inside of him, and before he knew it, he was on his knees at Ichigo's feet, head to the floor. "I was wrong! Young and stupid! I'm sorry! Ichigo, please, please forgive me!" he cried out._

_He felt like an entirely different person, like he had been possessed or something. Every emotion he had been bottling up when he'd taken part in hurting the man before him, gushed forth like a geyser. It felt like he wouldn't be able to move forward in his life without Ichigo's forgiveness, even though he certainly didn't deserve it. So, he begged._

_There was silence, then the soft rustling of clothes indicating the orange-haired man had moved. Oh, god, was he gonna hit him? Ikkaku just wanted to apologize for being so dumb. No, he had no excuses, but he NEEDED to apologize, at least to let Ichigo know that he had changed, grown up so to speak. Even if they never became friendly towards each oth-_

_Ichigo's hand on his shoulder halted his thoughts and brought Ikkaku's head up, his eyes finding warm brown creased into a smile. Ichigo was crouched in front of him, making it easier to be at eye level._

_"Don't worry about it," the orange head said softly, as he gently squeezed his shoulder. Ikkaku frowned in confusion, shaking his head slightly._

_"Wh-wha?" he stuttered._

_Ichigo just continued to smile, but scratched the back of his head uncomfortably as he rose to his feet. Then he looked back down at him with a more serious expression._

_"I'm not God, Ikkaku, I can't and won't judge you for what you've done. That's not my job. My job is to forgive you, and hope that you were being sincere," he stated firmly, then the smirk returned as he added, "Besides, if you do cause trouble, I'll just kick your ass again, ne?"_

_He couldn't breathe for about five seconds, and then as if a dam had been broken, silent tears poured down his cheeks as he slowly climbed to his feet. He stepped forward, and thrust his hand out, nodding soberly. Ichigo grinned crookedly and clasped his hand tightly._

_Relief. Like an ice cold drink on a swelteringly hot day. It washed over him, wave after wave. He didn't deserve it, but he was lucky to have Ichigo's forgiveness._

_A throat was cleared before, "Fine, but he's not the only one ya gotta worry 'bout if ya fuck up again," the blue-haired man stated. "Name's Grimmjow Jaegerjaques. I'm the boss, and you two can come back for a real interview and orientation in about a week. I'll give ya a call."_

_Yumi squealed happily, agreeing enthusiastically as he grabbed Ikkaku's arm, pulling him towards the door. Once they reached it, he turned one last time and locked gazes with Ichigo. They both nodded shortly before he finally followed his excited lover down the stairs._

_Lucky indeed._


	14. You're Such An Idiot

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or "Never Too Late"...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_This world will never be_

_What I expected_

_And if I don't belong_

_Who would have guessed it_

_I will not leave alone_

_Everything that I own_

_To make you feel like it's not too late_

_It's never too late_

_Even if I say_

_It'll be alright_

_Still I hear you say_

_You want to end your life_

_Now and again we try_

_To just stay alive_

_Maybe we'll turn it all around_

_'Cause it's not too late_

_It's never too late_

_No one will ever see_

_This side reflected_

_And if there's something wrong_

_Who would have guessed it_

_And I have left alone_

_Everything that I own_

_To make you feel like_

_It's not too late_

_It's never too late_

_Even if I say_

_It'll be alright_

_Still I hear you say_

_You want to end your life_

_Now and again we try_

_To just stay alive_

_Maybe we'll turn it all around_

_'Cause it's not too late_

_It's never too late_

_The world we knew_

_Won't come back_

_The time we've lost_

_Can't get back_

_The life we had_

_Won't be ours again_

_This world will never be_

_What I expected_

_And if I don't belong_

_Even if I say_

_It'll be alright_

_Still I hear you say_

_You want to end your life_

_Now and again we try_

_To just stay alive_

_Maybe we'll turn it all around_

_'Cause it's not too late_

_It's never too late_

_Maybe we'll turn it all around_

_'Cause it's not too late_

_It's never too late (It's never too late)_

_It's not too late_

_It's never too late_

_-Three Days Grace-_

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_August 2008_

"Your _boss_ is his _uncle_?" he asked disbelievingly. Ichigo glared at him, syrupy-brown eyes exhausted.

"Yes, Grimmjow, for the millionth time, yes!"

"Oi, don't get snippy with me 'cuz you're tired."

They were seated on the couch waiting for the spaced-out red head's uncle to arrive, and Grimmjow had been asking Ichigo question after question, because things just didn't add up, or even remotely make sense. However, Ichigo was being snarky and irritable, and he knew it was because they were both beyond tired, so he didn't really take offense to his boyfriend's attitude.

Grimmjow stretched his arms above his head, leaned back into the plush cushions, and felt sleep trying to pull him under as he yawned loudly. Ichigo snorted beside him, and before he could comment, he had a lap full of orange-haired man.

"I know how to keep you awake," Ichigo murmured as he straddled his hips.

"Ya think that's a good idea with Captain Homophobe in the room?" he whispered, blue eyes wide with anticipation. Ichigo gave him a sly smirk as he arched a brow.

"Scared?"

 _Scared? Pfft_.

Grimmjow gripped the smaller man's slim waist, and pressed their hips together as he claimed those soft lips. Ichigo grinned against his mouth, then gently nipped his bottom lip. Grimmjow felt the familiar warmth, that always accompanied kissing Ichigo, begin flaring in his stomach, languidly spreading as tongues got involved, and the orange head's hand found purchase in his hair.

Before anything could go further, a loud noise similar to a game show buzzer sounded throughout the apartment. _Figures_. Ichigo stood and moved to the wall beside the front door where the apartment intercom rested. He pressed a small white button on the gray console and leaned forward saying, "Urahara?"

A click, then, "Yes, it's me, Kurosaki-kun."

Ichigo held down a black button for several seconds, then turned towards where the drunk, red head silently sat. Grimmjow heard an amused snort, and lifted a brow in question.

"What?" he asked. Ichigo glanced at him and grinned.

"Idiot's asleep."

Grimmjow stood, peered over the back of the love seat, and, sure enough, the red head was slumped over on the floor, mouth open as he drooled and softly snored. Upon turning his attention back to Ichigo, Grimmjow noticed a small smile pulling at his lips as he looked on nostalgically.

"Ya miss 'im, dontcha?" Ichigo jerked his head towards him as if he had forgotten Grimmjow was there, then he shrugged.

"He was my best friend for years, of course I miss him. I just wonder what fucking demons are haunting him and making him act the way he does."

Grimmjow quirked his lips as he leaned against the back of the love seat. "Well, didn't ya say he started screamin' when ya pinned him down? Maybe somethin' bad happened to him a long time ago that he just never forgot about," he mused aloud.

That idea had been sitting on his mind ever since Ichigo had told him everything that happened. _For a guy to turn on his best friend, something serious must have gone down_. Again Ichigo shrugged.

"I don't know, but I plan to get some answers," he stated firmly as a knock sounded at the door.

Grimmjow reclaimed his seat on the couch as Ichigo swung the door open, admitting a slim, blond and older-looking man. He wore a green and white striped bucket hat, a green loose-fitting, v-neck tunic, and green linen pants. On his feet were a pair of wooden sandals that made Grimmjow stifle a chuckle by tucking his lips between his teeth, while glancing at Ichigo incredulously.

As soon as the Urahara guy stepped inside, his gaze was immediately drawn to the prone red head lying on the floor. The man snapped his attention back to Ichigo, who was busy closing and relocking the door.

"What happened to him?" Urahara questioned softly, a slight furrowing to his brow.

Ichigo shifted uncomfortably before launching into the whole story of his and Renji's altercation. Grimmjow sat back listening, avidly searching for reactions from Urahara, but the blond only stood rigidly wearing a blank expression.

"And that's where he's been since. He must've fallen asleep while we were waiting for you, but Urahara, what the hell? What's wrong with him? Why'd he flip out like that?" Ichigo's face was utterly bewildered as he leaned against the back of the love seat.

Urahara scowled before his face took on a defeated disposition and he sighed heavily. Grimmjow was beginning to get impatient. _If the blond knew something, then he'd better tell Ichigo because he-more than anyone else-deserved an explanation for his ex-best friend's behavior_. Grimmjow had just opened his mouth to comment, when Urahara spoke.

"Could you help me get him on the couch, please, Kurosaki-kun? Then, I'll tell you what you wish to know."

Grimmjow stood and made his way to the sleeping man on the floor, then held his hand up to halt the other men's steps.

"I got 'im. You two've got some talkin' to do," he stated, and in one fluid motion hefted the red-haired man to his feet. He slid the near unconscious man's arm over his shoulder and carried the dead weight to the couch, where he laid him out.

When Grimmjow turned back to the other two men, he chuckled at their raised eyebrows, particularly Ichigo's blushing face and lust-filled brown eyes. _Huhn_.

"I _did_ play American football for years, ya know. I'm not this big for nothin'," he grumbled good-naturedly. Urahara blinked out of his surprise first and moved to the couch, seating himself at the stretched out red head's feet.

"Thank you, umm..." the blond trailed off, dark eyes glinting as he stared at Grimmjow.

"Grimmjow."

"Ah, thank you, Grimmjow."

"No problem," he responded as he moved to the love seat, followed by Ichigo, who plopped down beside him, face still slightly flushed.

"Kurosaki-kun, I must ask you first...how long have you known my nephew? I'm afraid he's never mentioned any friends or even enemies he's ever had." Urahara looked exhausted, as if the topic of discussion was taxing all of his energy.

Grimmjow felt his boyfriend shift nervously, and slipped an arm around his waist for support and comfort, just to give the smaller man reassurance that he was there for him. Ichigo glanced over at him with a small smile before returning his focus to the blond man seated on the couch.

"Renji and I were best friends a long time ago. Since junior high actually, until he found out that...that I'm gay. He flipped out on me, telling me he didn't wanna be friends anymore. That he hated queers and since I wanted to be one...he-he hated me. A-after that, everytime he saw me, there was a fight, most times physical. The last time I saw him, before tonight, was in October last year. He uh, he and his friends, they, um, they jumped me. I was pretty beat up. They almost killed me," he ended with a whisper, lowering sad nut-brown eyes to the floor.

Grimmjow grit his teeth, hating the fact that there was nothing he could do to ease Ichigo's pain. He tightened his arm around the orange head's waist and nuzzled his temple. Ichigo chuckled softly before glancing at him, eyes shining with mischief.

"Thank you, dear," he murmured sarcastically, and all Grimmjow could do was smile. _Little bastard_.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_August 2008_

Ichigo turned back to a stunned Urahara and lifted a brow. _That wasn't the reaction he'd expected from his cheery blond boss_. He opened his mouth to speak again, but Urahara beat him to it.

"Kurosaki-kun...you..." the poor man widened his eyes and lowered his gaze to the floor, "that's unacceptable. I had no idea what Renji was doing."

It was Ichigo's turn to sit in stunned silence as he watched Urahara wringing his hands and shaking his head. _It was fucking unnerving, but aside from that, how didn't the man know what his own nephew had been up to?_

"How-" he started but was cut off.

"I've tried to reach out to him, but he completely shut me out after...after..." Urahara faltered, sighed deeply and continued, "you must understand, Kurosaki-kun, that Renji is very...damaged. He'd had a very horrifying experience as a child before he came to live with me."

"Wha-"

"I'll explain. Renji came to live with me at the age of eight, but before that he lived with his mother and step-father. His real father died a few months after he was born, so he never knew him; then, his mother remarried when Renji was five. His mother worked a lot because her husband was a lazy good-for-nothing, so Renji was often left alone with the man in the evenings," Urahara paused and Ichigo felt nausea slowly creeping up on him, as a sense of foreboding descended over him like a dark cloud. _Oh god_. Urahara took an even breath before continuing, his dark eyes glittering angrily. "When Renji was eight years old, his step-father raped him."

Ichigo pitched forward, clutching his stomach tightly as he fought against the bile rising in his throat. His chest tightened and he squeezed his eyes shut, but tears still sprang from beneath his shut lids. _Jesus Christ! No fucking wonder Renji was so fucked up!_ He also realized why the red head had never said anything to anyone. He had probably been trying to forget that part of his life, not to mention being humiliated by it.

Ichigo grit his teeth painfully and shuddered. Renji related all things homosexual to what had happened to him, and it was no wonder he shunned it. The trauma had warped any sense of rationalization when it came to being gay; logic and reason didn't exist. Ichigo felt like he'd been mule-kicked in the chest when he thought back to the day he and Renji had stopped being friends.

 _It all made sense. Renji's sheer rage and disgust. His rejection. He probably felt like Ichigo had betrayed him, especially after he'd lied and told him he wasn't gay_.

"Ohhh, gaaaahhhd, I was so fucking stupid," he groaned, as he covered his face with his hands.

"Oi, you couldn't have known, so don't beat yourself up about it. Just-just...don't," Grimmjow said sternly, pulling him to his side. Ichigo was grateful the man was there, but he still felt terrible. _It had been his job as Renji's best friend to know shit like that about him, yet, he hadn't even known the boy's family_.

"He was my best friend, and I couldn't even help him. I didn't even know!" he blurted. He turned to the sleeping red head and looked at him with new eyes. Then, something occurred to him. "Urahara, why didn't his mom help him?"

"She did. She came home from work and caught the man red-handed, still-still bent over Renji. She lost control of herself and killed her husband. She ended up having a breakdown afterwards and to this day resides in a mental institution in Nagasaki, which is why I took Renji in," Urahara explained somberly.

Ichigo massaged his temples with his fingertips as he tried to alleviate the sudden headache hammering behind his eyes. _This was too fucking much for him to ingest all at once. His ex-best friend had been beyond damaged, and not only didn't he know, he hadn't been able to help him in any way. In fact, he may have even worsened the situation. God help him_.

Grimmjow just tightened his arm again briefly, letting him know he was there if Ichigo needed him, and he was so damned grateful for it. He leaned into his blue-haired boyfriend's hold, laying his head against the man's shoulder as he sighed helplessly.

Now that Ichigo knew why Renji had reacted so badly to his sexual orientation, the fights and beatings paled in comparison. _His best friend had been raped, his innocence stolen at an age where homework and video games should've been his only concern. Not only that, but his mother had been taken from him as well_.

"Urahara, why didn't you get him any help? He was too young to deal with that shit on his own!" Ichigo snapped angrily, not understanding why the man would let his nephew live like that. The blond man bristled at Ichigo's tone, but his eyes held an enormous amount of remorse.

"I _tried_. Time and time again, but he never stayed at the sessions. He refused. I couldn't force him, and then, as time went on, he seemed perfectly fine for a while. All the way until high school."

Ichigo felt the blood drain from his face as realization set in. Renji had been fine because of their friendship, and then he'd found out about Ichigo's sexual preference in the worst way, probably causing the boy to snap.

"W-what happened then?" he asked, needing to know what drastic measures Renji had taken afterwards. Urahara sighed wearily, leaning forward to place his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.

"He withdrew. Just stopped talking to me and his cousins. A few months later, Renji moved out. He took his savings from helping me in the shop, and moved into his own apartment. No amount of discussing, pleading, arguing and downright yelling could change his mind, but I knew he was only going to get worse if left to himself. The only thing I could do was keep in touch with him, as much as he allowed me to. I called him, visited him, but he shut me out. He rarely speaks to me now." Urahara's voice was saddened and dejected, defeated and utterly helpless.

Ichigo knew that Renji was stubborn, hell, it was one of the many things they'd had in common, but he had no idea the red head was so pig-headed as to reject his own family. Ichigo stared at the sleeping man and shook his head.

 _Christ, this was horrible. He had no idea what to do for his friend_.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_August 2008_

_Shit, his head was killing him_. Once again, he'd had too much to drink. So much in fact, he didn't even remember what happened after he left that bar downtown. _Dammit, his head was pounding like a drum_.

Suddenly, he heard quiet talking and scowled when he recognized the voice of his uncle. _Where the fuck was he that his uncle was there while he slept?_ The next voice had his eyes snapping open in astonishment. _What the fuck was going on?_

He slowly turned his head in the direction of the voice he'd just heard, and his eyes narrowed when they settled on Ichigo's face. Those brown eyes were focused on his, and his mouth was pressed into a thin line.

_Why the fuck was Ichigo there?_

Before he had a chance to look around and survey his surroundings, Ichigo was kneeling right in front of him, eyes wide and filling with... _tears? Why? What the fuck was going on?_ He sat up on his elbows and sneered at his orange-haired ex-best friend.

"What the fuck're you doin' here? Where the hell am I?" he forced through clenched teeth. Ichigo didn't move, shit, he didn't even look like he was breathing.

"R-Renji."

Renji recoiled as if Ichigo had slapped him and curled his lip in disgust. _How dare he?_

"Don't call me that, ya fuckin' fag!" Renji snapped.

There was a low growl emanating from where Ichigo had been sitting before, and that was when Renji noticed the strawberry's blue bodyguard glaring at him threateningly. Renji's back stiffened considerably. _What the fuck was he doing there? Where was he?_

Again, before he could give a proper reaction to his environment, the most unexpected thing occurred. Ichigo sat beside him on whatever he was laying on-a couch, he supposed-and wrapped his arms around him tightly. Eyes the size of silver dollars, all he could do was sit with his mouth agape.

A torrent of different emotions swept over him in that instant. Astonishment, fear, anger, regret, guilt, but most of all...love. He'd forgotten how good it felt to be near his best friend, so much so, that he lost himself to the moment and lifted his arms, wrapping them around the orange-haired male before him. He squeezed his eyes shut, and tightened his grip as his chest began to feel like someone was sitting on it.

Renji couldn't find his voice, and even if he had been able to, wasn't sure what he would've said. This whole scenario was wrong in so many ways. He hated Ichigo because he was gay, the very condition that destroyed his life and made him the way he was today. Not only that, but Ichigo should hate Renji right back for everything he'd done to him. _So then...why the fuck were they hugging and clinging to one another? They were no longer friends, hell, not even acquaintances. So...why? So many questions, but no fucking answers_.

At that moment, Ichigo decided to speak softly. "Gay men aren't the same as your step-father was, Renji."

Tension seized his muscles as he tried to pull away, but Ichigo remained steadfast. Renji started thrashing, trying to use his legs as well, but his headache coupled with the many emotions that had just rushed through him left him with a bone-deep weariness. No matter how hard he fought to get the strawberry off him, the guy wouldn't budge. Giving in, he sat still, but hostility and suspicion radiated from his very pores.

"How do you know about that?" he bit through clenched teeth.

"Does it matter?" Ichigo snapped back impatiently. "I want my best friend back."

Renji paused uncertainly. _Should he believe Ichigo? After years of believing that all gay men were the same: evil, kid-raping freaks, how could he believe otherwise? How could he even trust Ichigo after he had lied to him?_

"I don't trust you," Renji whispered, tears beginning to cloud his vision. "You lied to me. I loved you, Ichigo, you were my brother...an-and you lied to me. I can't believe anything you say to me now."

His voice cracked horribly, but the words needed to be said. _He needed Ichigo to know how he felt, what he'd been through, why things could never be the same between them_.

"I know...I know. But...I was scared! When you came to me that day under the cherry blossom tree in the park and asked me why I hung out with Shinji, knowing he was gay, I knew if I told you the truth I would've lost you. I should've told you, I should've been honest, but I hadn't been thinking and I was so scared. You know how being scared feels, don't you?" Ichigo explained in a rush, his words ending in an urgent whisper.

Renji swallowed the lump rising in his throat as he nodded. He knew fear first-hand and had no desire to feel it again. The icy sensation that slid down his back and gathered in his stomach, as he fought nausea and his body broke into a cold sweat; yeah, he knew fear alright.

"Renji, I-I'm sorry I lied to you. I shouldn't have, but-but...god, I don't wanna fight anymore. I know shit won't go back to the way it used to be, but can you-can we be friends again?"

Renji frowned, tears tracking down his cheeks. He really loved Ichigo and he really wanted to be friends again, but...he didn't know how to go about it. His irrational fear of all homosexual men was what kept him from remaining friends with the Strawberry when he'd found out he was gay, it kept him abusing the boy that had been nothing but kind to him, treating him like the brother he'd never had, but always wanted. That kind of fear didn't dissipate overnight, but...he was willing to try. If it meant being close to Ichigo again, then he would try. Renji brought his arms around Ichigo again, squeezing tightly as he nodded his head.

"Y-ya can't lie to me anymore, Ichigo," he mumbled.

"I won't."

"Promise?" Renji's voice wavered slightly with the uncertainty he was feeling at the moment. Ichigo pulled back enough to look Renji in the eyes as he nodded twice.

"I promise," he stated firmly. "I wanna help you get better."

Renji grinned crookedly and lowered his gaze before bringing it back up to lock with warm brown. He thought if anyone could help him it would be Ichigo, so he nodded in return.

"I'm going to help you as well, Renji," his uncle Kisuke stated from the end of the couch.

The man's dark eyes seemed almost haunted, but were beginning to shine with relief. Renji could tell his uncle had been stressing because his normal five o'clock shadow had morphed into full-on shaggy stubble, and his shiny blond hair seemed dull and lifeless.

"There's a friend of mine, Unohana-san, she's an excellent therapist that you should see. I know you don't like the idea, Renji, but I think sh-"

"It's ok, Uncle Kisuke, I'll go. I don't wanna be afraid anymore," he said softly.

Ichigo fidgeted uncomfortably, making Renji glance at him with an arched brow. _What was it now?_

"Ichigo?"

"Renji, I wanna introduce you to someone," the strawberry said softly, rubbing the back of his neck the way he used to when they were still friends. _Some things never change_.

"Ya mean, yer blue bodyguard that's been glaring at me the past few minutes?" Renji teased, glancing at the blue-haired man that was still burning dime-sized holes into Renji's face.

The man was fucking huge; he could see it even with the guy sitting down. His body was built like a brick wall, and he was really tall, his long legs stretched in front of him. His piercing blue eyes were narrowed and locked on Renji, as if daring him to object and emanating intimidation. Renji remembered the large, silver gun the man had pointed at him that night in October and shuddered.

"I ain't gonna sugarcoat shit; if ya even _think_ about touchin' Ichigo the wrong way again, I'll kill ya myself," the blue-haired man rumbled disgruntledly, his deep voice echoing through the apartment.

"Grimm!" Ichigo admonished with wide eyes. The blunet only shrugged lazily and lifted a blue brow.

Renji nodded at the man in understanding. _He could see why he felt that way, and honestly didn't blame him one bit. He would probably be the same in his shoes_.

"Renji, change won't happen instantaneously, and the fact that you've managed this much progress in such a short time is astonishing, but I suppose true friendship works wonders," Kisuke stated with a tired smile.

Renji nodded and glanced at a now softly bickering Ichigo and his boyfriend. _He knew change would come slowly and that his fear wouldn't completely subside immediately, but like his uncle said, true friendship works wonders_.

XOXOXO

_Tokyo_

_August 2008_

Rukia bustled down the empty, narrow alleyway, sniffling slightly. She had caught a summer cold from sleeping in the subways in Karakura Town, and was unable to get rid of the runny nose that had been plaguing her for the past two weeks.

Her black t-shirt clung to her thin frame, but her jeans did the exact opposite, hanging loosely across her hips and bagging around her ankles. Her hair was limp and dirty, and she knew she smelled less than desirable at the moment, but her mind was on one thing alone...the purchase she was about to make.

She had broken into her old home she used to share with her older brother, and stolen quite a bit of money from his safe. The anal man never changed the combination and it had been child's play getting what she had needed. She would be able to buy a couple of new outfits and sleep in a hotel tonight-after she made her purchase, of course.

Rukia crept down the alley until she reached a large, black metal door, where she knocked three times the way she had been informed to. The person she was coming to see had a spokesman/partner in Karakura Town, by the name of Zangetsu. The man portrayed himself as a hobo, but in reality, was far from one.

After asking one of her fellow subway-mates about the purchase she wanted to make, she was directed to the quiet man wearing shades, seated in the far corner of the subway. He had given her very clear and concise instructions, as well as directions to where she needed to go, and here she stood, waiting to see a man named Shirosaki.

The large door swung open revealing one of the strangest-looking people she had ever had the privilege to meet. He wore a wide, face-splitting grin, his skin was pale as notebook paper, his hair was an ash white, and his eyes had to be the weirdest thing about him. Golden irises anchored in black sclera made up his seeing organs, and simultaneously gave Rukia the fucking creeps.

"Well, nah, Zangy-kun tol' me I'd be havin' comp'ny t'day, but he didn' mention how cute ya'd be," his watery-sounding voice bounced off the alley walls. "C'mon in, dolly."

Rukia nodded stiffly and followed the strange man inside the brick building, jumping frightfully when the door slammed shut with a reverberating "clang". Shirosaki led her down a damp, moldy staircase and into a gray-walled office adorned with a large, burgundy couch pushed against the west wall, and a metal desk against the adjacent wall.

She wrinkled her nose at the tangy smell in the air, and noticed a hand-rolled cigarette still smoldering in a black, plastic ashtray on the metal desk. A short sturdy glass filled with a brown liquid sat beside the ashtray. Shirosaki plopped into the leather desk chair, and swiveled around to face her after picking up the glass and taking a quick sip.

"So...how c'n I help ya, lil lady?" he inquired, eyeing Rukia in a way that made her shift uncomfortably.

Straightening her shoulders and back, and tilting her chin defiantly, she reached into her pocket and withdrew a wad of money, then locked eyes with the strange man before her.

"I need a gun."


	15. Don't Tell Me, Just Show Me

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_Don't tell me (tell me)_

_Just show me (show me)_

_'Cuz if ya say ya love me_

_When ya touch me your body should say so_

_Make ya scream "ohhh"_

_Don't ever fight the feelin' when ya feel it_

_I already know..._

_-Day 26-_

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_August 2008_

Ichigo smiled warmly at his friend, as Renji and Urahara stood in the open doorway saying their goodbyes. He still couldn't believe the shit the red head had gone through, but he was hell-bent on helping him through his traumatic experience in every way he could. It was amazing the way his old feelings for Renji had resurfaced so quickly and easily, however, Ichigo was aware that their friendship would have to be rebuilt from the ground up, and frankly, that was fine with him.

"So, I'll see ya, Ichigo," Renji said almost timidly, and Ichigo's grin spread.

"Yeah, see ya. Call if you need anything. And thanks a lot Urahara," he responded as the two men made their way down the hall towards the elevator. Urahara waved over his shoulder with a tired smile.

"I gotta go too, Ichi, I'm tired as hell and I ne-" Grimmjow started, but Ichigo cut across him swiftly.

"Stay."

Ichigo lowered his head but peeked through his tangerine bangs at the astonished blunet. He had been thinking about asking Grimmjow to just stay once the man had shown up in his pajamas, but the urge had increased a thousand-fold after watching his boyfriend heft a very heavy Renji as though the red head hadn't weighed an ounce. Ichigo had been extremely turned on and couldn't keep the blush from covering his face.

It all just served to bring him back to what had occurred only a few hours ago in Grimmjow's office at Las Noches. In no time at all, his mind's eye was bombarded with images of the blunet's naked torso, hardened planes of firm muscle covered by soft, tanned skin that Ichigo itched to run his hands over again. Not to mention, the man's impressive-

"What?" Grimmjow's eyes were wide with surprise. Ichigo hid his smile before lifting his head to gaze directly into sapphire-blue.

"I said to stay. Here. With me."

Grimmjow stared back at him blankly, and it made Ichigo second-guess his request. _Maybe he had been too forward?_ He could understand if his boyfriend needed more time before taking that step, but he had to admit, it was really embarrassing putting himself out there that way, only to be rejected. _Dating or not_.

"I-it's ok if you don't want to, I mean, I'll understand if you're not ready for th-"

The front door slammed shut and Ichigo almost thought Grimmjow had left...until he was literally lifted by the backs of his thighs, forcing him to wrap his legs around the blue-haired man's slim waist and his arms around the man's neck to keep from losing his balance. In the next instant, his mouth had been taken hostage as Grimmjow kissed him feverishly, sending sharp bolts of electricity shooting up and down his spine.

Ichigo felt like all of his bones had melted, turned into lava and spread to the rest of his body, settling in his groin and stomach. He ran his hands up into Grimmjow's thick, soft blue hair and tugged gently, relishing the sounds coming from the bigger man as their tongues twined and caressed the other's.

Grimmjow held Ichigo up like it was nothing, and damn if that didn't turn him on even more. Ichigo pulled back from the kiss, breathing harshly, only to choke on a gasp when Grimmjow's warm lips and wet tongue made a trail down and under his chin, then down to suckle his pulse point.

"Nnng," Ichigo moaned quietly, tightening his grip on Grimmjow's incredibly soft hair.

His heart was racing, pounding at a frantic tempo and his very pores felt like simmering volcanos ready to erupt at any moment. _God, he had never wanted anything or anyone as badly as he wanted-no needed-Grimmjow right that instant_.

Ichigo wiggled in the man's grip, indicating he wanted to be let down, but Grimmjow growled his opposition and continued assaulting his neck. Ichigo chuckled softly, absolutely loving this aggressiveness from his blue-haired boyfriend.

"Lemme down, baka," he commanded breathlessly.

"Tch, why?"

"Because I smell like alcohol and sweat. You had a chance to wash your ass, now can I have mine?" Ichigo demanded, looking down into irritated blue eyes.

He really did need a shower. He smelled like an after-hours spot and was still wearing his clothes from the day before. If things between him and Grimmjow went where he hoped, then he at least wanted to be clean, and not feeling like a two dollar whore.

Grimmjow let him down with a reluctant, "Fine." Ichigo smiled at the petulant behavior and grabbed the man by his wrist, practically dragging him to his small bedroom. He pushed the larger man down onto his bed, where he scowled defiantly up at Ichigo.

"You can wait here," he ordered with a sly smirk as he stepped out of his jeans.

Grimmjow's eyebrows flew skyward when Ichigo wrestled the dark blue t-shirt over his head, then hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his white cotton boxers. Ichigo grinned wolfishly. Teasing Grimmjow was fun. Taking a deep breath and mentally exclaiming "fuck it", he pulled the underwear down past his hips and ass, letting them fall and pool around his ankles.

Peeking from the corner of his eye, Ichigo had to strangle the urge to "aww" at his boyfriend. The blunet's mouth was parted in shock, impossibly blue eyes wide as saucers, and cheeks dusted with an adorable pink tinge. Grimmjow looked like a kid with his first crush.

Ichigo sauntered to the closet, where he extracted a clean towel and simultaneously gave the blue-haired devil on his bed an enticing view of his backside. After retrieving the towel, he turned and smirked at the look on Grimmjow's face, then made his way to the bathroom, not even bothering to cover up. _That'll give him something to think about_.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_August 2008_

For the first time in his life (that didn't involve fighting or football), Grimmjow had a nosebleed. _Seriously? Seriously_. He couldn't even think straight from all the blood rushing to his head and nether regions, roaring noisily in his ears. _What the hell just happened?_

He licked his top lip, absently registering the coppery taste of his own blood. _Ichigo. Naked. Ichigo. Naked. What the fuck._ His brain was literally fried, overstimulated, and completely incoherent. He wanted to make sense of what had just happened, but he was too busy clinging to the image of his orange-haired boyfriend's nudity.

 _Skin_. All Grimmjow had seen was miles of soft-looking, honey-hued skin. _And legs. Unbelievable legs toned to perfection. To think he'd had those works of art wrapped around his waist not even ten minutes ago_. Grimmjow was really trying to resist the urge to pant and fucking drool like a dog, but he would admit, it was much harder than it sounded.

 _Ichigo was perfect_. Every inch was toned and slender, not hard and cut like himself, but...softer. Grimmjow squirmed and grit his teeth painfully. Being attracted to male anatomy should have bothered him, but dammit, he was beyond embarrassment and anxiety. _He just wanted to fuck Ichigo unconscious_.

_Speaking of which..._

It was then that Grimmjow heard the shower squeak and come to life, the water sounding like rainfall. After going home for that short amount of time before he called Ichigo, all he could think of were those soft pink lips wrapped around him, and that sinful tongue swirling and caressing, bringing him to the best orgasm of his life. _Jesus Christ, even now it hovered in his mind like a helicopter, taunting him_.

Grimmjow wanted to finally take that last leap, hurdle his last obstacle and...possibly return the favor. Fuck, it would probably be the most mortifying thing he would do to date, simply because...he knew nothing about... _shit_.

Growing impatient, he stood, stripped out of his favorite pajamas, and after carefully laying them on the nightstand beside the bed, headed to the bathroom, breathing hitching every few seconds and palms sweating. He pushed the door open and steam billowed outwards, smacking him in the face, making him blink away the humidity.

Ichigo stood behind a frosted glass shower door, his silhouette outlined perfectly as his hands rubbed soap across his chest. Grimmjow licked his lips and squared his shoulders. _He could do this_.

He stepped forward and slowly eased the shower door open, peeking his head inside, then laughing quietly to himself at the sight of his Ichi singing to himself softly, covered head to toe in soap and shampoo. Grimmjow allowed his eyes to roam freely over that absolutely flawless body, before he stepped inside and just as quietly eased the glass door shut. Shit, he almost bumped his head against the ceiling of the small space.

As if sensing his presence, Ichigo slowly turned his head, squinted through one sepia-brown eye at him...and abruptly screamed, throwing the body wash bottle at Grimmjow's head.

Chuckling, he easily caught it and reached around the startled orange head to place the bottle back in the shower caddy. Ichigo hurriedly rinsed his hair and face, then turned to glare at Grimmjow murderously, but the deadly look turned to concern.

"What the hell happened to your nose?" he queried, cocking his head to the side as he studied Grimmjow's face.

"Nothin'," Grimmjow grumbled sullenly at the reminder of his loss of control.

He pushed Ichigo out of the way and stood under the hot spray of water, running his hand over his face to wipe away the trails of blood. Ichigo huffed indignantly, then yanked on Grimmjow's arm.

"It's MY turn, remember," Ichigo growled, trying fruitlessly to get him to move. Grimmjow grinned at his boyfriend's choice of words.

"Yeah, it is," he rumbled, backing the younger man against the shower wall.

Water cascaded down Ichigo's body, soap sliding free from his skin and Grimmjow took in the sight with relish. His bright orange hair was plastered to his head and sticking to his brow, and Ichigo made the cutest confused face ever.

Before Ichigo could question his actions, Grimmjow gripped those slender hips and pulled him closer as he let his lips settle over the smaller man's. He dominated the berry head's mouth, thrusting his tongue in and around the heated cavern. Liquid fire began running through his veins, pooling in the pit of his stomach and in his groin. His arousal pressed against Ichigo's, and Grimmjow unconsciously rolled his hips, creating a delicious amount of friction that dragged moans from the both of them.

It was different from what he was used to, of course, but no less pleasurable. In fact, if he had to choose, he would say his experiences with Ichigo topped any he'd ever had with his ex-girlfriends.

Grimmjow explored Ichigo's body thoroughly as they lazily kissed. He slid his hands up the lean stomach and chest, rubbing his palms over the hardened nipples, then traveling up the long, almost elegant neck to cup the back of it, only to do it all over again. The noises his touches pulled from Ichigo were so erotic and such a fucking turn-on.

Grimmjow pulled back and sucked his boyfriend's bottom lip into his mouth, where he nipped gently before releasing it and leaving open-mouthed kisses across the youthful jaw. Ichigo threw his head back, a loud moan echoing off the shower walls when Grimmjow made a wet trail down the left side of his neck and chest, then captured his left nipple between his lips.

He thought sucking a man's nipples would be slightly awkward or strange, but it wasn't. Besides, Grimmjow was too far gone in his lust to really give a shit about trivial things such as that. He had more important matters to deal with. After laving Ichigo's right nipple, he began a trek down the subtly toned abdomen, following the trail of fine pale orange hairs that led to...

Butterflies erupted into flight in his gut.

Grimmjow tried to overcome his sudden anxiety as he took his time kissing and nipping, licking and sucking the area right below Ichigo's navel. He chanced a glance at the orange-haired man, and their gazes locked, Ichigo's brown eyes resembling pools of melted chocolate, shining with unrestrained lust and passion. _Shit._

What had once been butterflies in his belly, now morphed into screeching bats fluttering madly. _So, he was nervous. That was expected. This would be his first time giving oral to a man after all_.

Grimmjow lowered himself to his knees in the tiny shower and biting his lip, timidly wrapped his fingers around Ichigo's already hard length, then gave it a firm tug. His head jerked up sharply when Ichigo gasped loudly, and he sighed to himself with relief at the sight of the younger man scrunching his eyes shut and biting his bottom lip.

_Back to the situation at hand._

Grimmjow didn't even feel surprised at the fact that holding Ichigo's dick in his hand was turning him the fuck on. It was one thing to jerk himself off, but to actually touch and grasp another man's equipment was an entirely surreal experience. It was brick-hard, but the skin surrounding it was incredibly soft.

Grimmjow stroked the hardened flesh and finally, after gathering every ounce of nerve in his being, leaned forward, with his eyes closed, and licked the head of Ichigo's member. What exactly it was he had been expecting, he wasn't sure, but he hadn't been prepared for the wicked jolt of pleasure that zig-zagged down his spine at the mere taste and texture of his boyfriend's dick.

Ichigo tasted like mildly salty skin with a musky undertone, and Grimmjow wanted more. He swirled his tongue around the spongy skin of the head of Ichigo's stiff arousal, then collected the small amount of pre-come leaking from the slit. His thoughts were greedy, demanding one thing... _more_.

Grimmjow wrapped his mouth around the entire head, suckling gently at first, then gradually adding more pressure. Ichigo's whines and whimpers went almost unnoticed as Grimmjow thoroughly lost himself to the piece of flesh before him. He started taking it into his mouth, inch by inch, until nearly the whole length disappeared.

Ichigo's hand settled in his hair, but again, it went barely noticed. Grimmjow was enthralled. He was immensely enjoying sucking Ichigo off, letting his lips drag against the saliva-coated member and letting his tongue trace every ridge and every vein. He settled into a steady rhythm, his head bobbing back and forth, and damn if his own dick wasn't screaming for attention. Every nerve and every muscle seemed to twitch with life, all of his senses on high alert.

Suddenly, Ichigo tightened his hold in his hair and Grimmjow made the mistake of looking up. _Fucking hell. That kind of expression should be illegal as heroin_. Ichigo had his head lowered, his brow creased in a pleasurable scowl, and teeth clenched together and slightly bared as he panted through his nose.

"Gr-Grimm-jow," his husky tone sent chills down Grimmjow's back as goosebumps erupted across his skin.

All he could do was groan in response, the ache in his groin becoming unbearable. Grimmjow sucked harder and faster, running on sheer instinct, and then...Ichigo came...hard.

Grimmjow was taken by surprise and choked slightly on the strange-tasting fluid, most of it making its way down his throat. It wasn't disgusting, but it wasn't exactly a delicacy either. After catching his breath, Grimmjow stood and glared down at Ichigo.

"Warn me next time, yeah?" he grumbled. Ichigo sheepishly peeked at him through his bangs.

"Sorry, Grimm, I think I tried." His soft baritone cracked and wavered, making Grimmjow's annoyance dissipate at the utterly sexy-not to mention cute-sight.

"Yeah, yeah," Grimmjow murmured and pulled Ichigo closer, claiming his mouth again, languidly exploring the inside with his tongue.

"Mmm," Ichigo sighed happily. Grimmjow felt proud of himself to have his boyfriend in this state.

 _Frankly, he was looking forward to more_.

The water pelting them suddenly turned into little jets of ice making both men jump and cry out. Grimmjow hit his head on the low ceiling and cursed loudly, then slipped on a suspicious puddle of something, consequently banging his right knee against the ceramic soapdish protruding from the shower wall.

"FUCK! Lemme outta here!" he shouted, throwing the glass door open and stumbling from the confining space, Ichigo's laughter echoing behind him. "Shutup!" he snapped as he lowered the lid to the toilet, and plopped down rubbing his throbbing knee.

"Aww," the orange-haired prick cooed, stepping out of the shower easily, then wrapping his towel around his waist. "Poor baby."

Grimmjow narrowed his eyes, and before Ichigo could register what was going on, snatched the towel from around his slim waist, pulling him into his lap. Wide brown eyes stared at him in shock as Ichigo's bottom connected with his still rock-hard arousal. _Well, Grimmjow certainly hadn't meant for that to happen, but since it did..._

Ichigo gasped when Grimmjow rotated his hips, rubbing against the berry head's surprisingly soft rear. _Interesting_. He did it again, and this time Ichigo moaned helplessly, arching his back and gripping Grimmjow's knees. _Oh shit_.

Grimmjow-still clutching the towel-swung Ichigo up into his arms bridal style as he stood and left the rapidly cooling bathroom. He wasted no time placing the orange head down on the bed, and settling himself on top of him. Things had taken a turn for the very serious, both of them not saying a word as Ichigo spread his legs and wrapped his arms around Grimmjow's neck. The kiss that followed seemed to portray a wide range of emotions other than the lust flowing between them. It made the atmosphere thick, passion hanging on every little movement.

Ichigo's hand was back in Grimmjow's hair, and in this position, Grimmjow let his hand slide down the slender man's side, over his hip, and down his thigh, where he reached around the back of it and massaged the skin right above the inside of his knee.

Grimmjow couldn't breathe; everything had suddenly closed in on him, heightening his senses, making him completely aware of what was about to happen. Ichigo moaned and whimpered, writhing almost desperately underneath him as his fingers tangled and twisted in Grimmjow's hair.

 _Shit, the moment of truth was upon him_.

Grimmjow pulled back from the kiss and gazed down at his boyfriend's desire-laden brown eyes, lazily considering him. His chest suddenly tightened, and his stomach clenched almost painfully.

_What was that?_

Gulping in breaths of air, he wondered how he was going to ask Ichigo if he had lubrication because he'd left his at home. Fortunately, Ichigo took the initiative and cupped Grimmjow's cheek.

"You sure?" he asked shyly, and Grimmjow grinned saucily, all apprehension nearly gone as he lowered his forehead to meet Ichigo's.

"Yeah. I want ya."

Ichigo's blush deepened as he sat up, and reached towards the nightstand drawer, rifling through it impatiently. Grimmjow noticed the smaller man's hand shaking almost uncontrollably, and realized that this moment was equally big for the both of them, albeit for different reasons.

Finally, Ichigo retrieved a medium-sized bottle of strawberry-scented lube. He slammed the drawer shut and turned back to Grimmjow, handing him the bottle. Grimmjow felt his eyes widen. _Shit. Ok. What did Yor tell him? Oh...yeah. The finger thing_.

Grimmjow held the bottle in his hand, unaware of the look of amusement on Ichigo's face, since he was in the midst of a full-blown panic attack. It felt like shards of ice were being dumped down his back while his throat clogged with fear. It was how he felt in high school right before a big game, only a million times worse.

He sat up and rolled to the side of the bed, clutching the bottle like a life-line, as he tried to calm his heart rate and keep from hyperventilating. _What the fuck was wrong with him? Why was he reacting like a frightened virgin at the most crucial moment?_

Grimmjow vaguely felt the bed shift and heard the sheets rustle as Ichigo knelt beside him. He was ashamed of himself, mortified beyond belief; he couldn't even look his boyfriend in the face. Just then, he felt a hand on his back and involuntarily stiffened.

"If you're not ready, we don't have to do it, Grimm," Ichigo said softly.

Grimmjow felt like shit. God, he wanted to do it, he wanted to do it so badly, but he was afraid. He was afraid of doing the wrong thing and making a fool of himself. He was afraid of Ichigo not liking it, or worse yet, him hurting Ichigo. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if that happened.

Ichigo was rubbing his back when a thought suddenly occurred to him. Yor had told him to do what felt natural, and push come to shove, he could always ask Ichigo for some assistance. Grimmjow bit his lip and forcefully swallowed his pride, as he turned to face his soon-to-be-lover's concerned gaze.

"I don't know what the fuck I'm doin', Ichi," he muttered. Ichigo arched a brow and smirked slyly.

"No shit." Grimmjow growled and narrowed his eyes menacingly.

"Shu-"

"BUT...I already knew that. We just gotta do this together, hell, that's what I'm here for. I wouldn't just let you do all the work, ya know," Ichigo explained.

By the end of his little speech, Grimmjow was fully erect again and pushing Ichigo backwards against the mattress as he attacked his neck with renewed vigor. His Ichi had said precisely what he needed to hear, and now as he still gripped the bottle of lube tightly, the atmosphere was back at fever-pitch.

Grimmjow moaned and sighed when Ichigo reached down between their bodies, and grasped his achingly hard member. He lifted his head from Ichigo's neck and gave him a chaste kiss on his delectable lips before pulling back to gaze nervously at him.

"S-so just..." Grimmjow let his voice trail off, hoping Ichigo would get his meaning. Fortunately, he did because he nodded with a patient smile.

Grimmjow popped the top to the bottle of lube, and accidentally poured too much on the fingers of his right hand. He felt his face get hot, knowing for sure that he was blushing, but again Ichigo saved him by cradling his face in his hands, and bringing him down for a deep kiss.

Grimmjow realized that his dick could get no harder, and just as he felt like he would lose his mind, Ichigo pulled back and spoke, mouth only millimeters from his own. "Start with one."

Grimmjow nodded, and gathered his wits enough to search for Ichigo's entrance. Once he found it, oddly enough, he didn't feel so nervous anymore. He probed gently, keeping his eyes locked on the younger man's, and at the subtle nod from the orange head, added increasing pressure, until his finger slipped past the initial tightness to settle inside the hot passage.

"Ungh," Ichigo sighed.

Grimmjow sucked in an excited breath. _Holy fucking shit. He had never felt anything that tight in his life_. Suddenly, he was all too anxious to bury himself where his finger currently worked in and out. He tentatively added another finger, marveling at the way Ichigo's insides practically sucked the digits deeper within. Not to mention, the quiet moans that the smaller man was emitting nearly drove him past the brink of insanity.

He was up to his knuckle with his ring finger, stretching the tight canal, off in his own world, when Ichigo jerked and cried out loudly. Grimmjow snapped out of his musings to focus on his berry head's flushed face, as he gasped and panted. _What the hell?_

"Please! Grimm, please!" Ichigo yelped, arching his back. Eyes wide, Grimmjow peered down at his boyfriend.

"Please what?" he asked, genuinely confused, but Ichigo cleared that right up.

"Fuck me! B-baka yarou!"

Grimmjow couldn't hide his grin as he withdrew his fingers, then remembered Bandana Boy's comment about "greasing the lightning rod". So, he added more lube to his palm and generously coated his straining erection, then guided it to Ichigo's entrance.

"Tell me if I hurt ya," he mumbled.

"Grimm, I swear to god, if you don't shut the fuck up, I'll kill you!" Ichigo snapped, nut-brown eyes sparkling and fiery.

Stunned at his boyfriend's behavior, Grimmjow slowly pushed forward, sinking deeper and deeper, until he was buried to the hilt. Resting his weight on his arms, he squeezed his eyes shut and grit his teeth.

_What? Just what? Oh god of everything holy!_

_Tight. Tight, tight, tight. Ichigo was tighter than any woman he'd ever been with, and...good lord, he couldn't fucking breathe. Where had his air supply gone?_

"Oh god, Grimm," Ichigo moaned, clinging to his shoulders and shifting his hips impatiently. "Move."

Grimmjow growled as he pulled back, then thrust forward deeply. Heat flared and erupted everywhere when he started up a steady rhythm. The bedsprings creaked noisily, and the headboard threatened to crash through the wall as he rocked in and out of Ichigo's tight heat.

Sweat formed across Grimmjow's brow as he picked up the pace, his arms trembling from the intense pleasure coursing through him. Ichigo wrapped his incredibly long legs around his waist, and Grimmjow lowered himself enough to bury his face in the smaller man's neck, groaning helplessly. _It felt so fucking good_.

"Yes...yes...ahhh...r-right there," Ichigo whimpered.

Grimmjow turned his head to kiss him, panting harshly with every thrust, as the berry head let his hands roam across Grimmjow's back. The kiss was sloppy, but utterly erotic and completely sexy.

 _God, he was gonna come. Ichigo was so hot, so tight, shit, so wet_. Grimmjow's chest tightened as he gazed into those passion-filled brown eyes. _Fuck, fuck, fuck_. Their sweat-slicked bodies came together noisily, slapping sharply, adding to the symphony the bed and Ichigo created.

Grimmjow raised himself back up and began pounding into Ichigo with abandon, grunting and scowling as he felt his release coming soon. Suddenly, the orange-head arched his back wantonly, raking his nails down Grimmjow's back as he shouted his orgasm.

"Ahh! Grimm-jow! Fuck!"

Grimmjow's climax was ripped from him when Ichigo's insides clenched, then spasmed uncontrollably, milking him dry.

"Haaaahhh!" was all he managed in his euphoric state.

Fireworks exploded behind his shut lids and his entire body trembled, his arms no longer able to hold him up, so he lowered himself on top of Ichigo, nuzzling the younger man's neck. Ichigo petted his hair, stroking the hairs at the nape of his neck as he sighed contentedly.

Grimmjow could only try to catch his runaway breath, but his thoughts were also moving at a mile a minute. _That had been the best thing he'd ever done sexually, and he was so far beyond sated, it wasn't even funny. He didn't want to move...ever_.

He turned his head to see Ichigo smiling softly, and again, his chest tightened and his stomach clenched, then filled with butterflies. He didn't understand why he kept having those feelings, those sensations, but he knew he was the happiest whenever he was with Ichigo, and what they had just shared, only cemented that realization. Grimmjow kissed his boyfriend's cheek, and was stunned by Ichigo's softly uttered statement.

"I love you."


	16. Progress

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_August 2008_

Ichigo stared out of his bedroom window, where he sat comfortably on the windowsill, sipping from a mug of tea. He was clad in a pair of hunter-green boxers, a white wife beater and white, cotton ankle socks. It was nine in the morning, and he still hadn't gone to sleep since arriving home from Las Noches at four-thirty to Renji's attack.

 _He couldn't sleep. How the hell could he?_ Ichigo's mind and emotions were in a frenzy, making rest absolutely impossible. His body still hummed and tingled from what had occurred only an hour ago. The image of Grimmjow poised over him, moving inside him, face flushed and panting harshly... _what was he saying again?_

 _Jesus Christ. It drove him to distraction, making heat and goosebumps erupt across his skin whenever he thought about it - which seemed to be every second of every minute_. His face was on fire from his recollections, but he was damn near giddy with glee. Ichigo had finally done what he'd only dreamt about for years - he'd made love to Grimmjow. _It sounded cheesy, he knew, but there was no other way he wanted to describe it, because "fucked" was just too crass for such a special moment_.

It had not only been Grimmjow's first time with a guy, but it had been Ichigo's dream come true, and for someone with no experience with men, the blunet had done an exceedingly good job.

Ichigo studied the buildings visible from his window, as well as the overcast sky that promised rain. _He had told Grimmjow he loved him_. It had been so unexpected, but he'd been so high and emotional...it had just seemed to come out on its own. Not to mention, those three little words had been almost begging to be said for longer than he and Grimmjow had even been together.

Ichigo loved Grimmjow; he wasn't ashamed of that at all, but he knew his blue-haired boyfriend probably hadn't been ready to hear that, let alone return the sentiment, regardless of how he had responded. Ichigo glanced over at his western-styled, full-sized bed, and had to stifle a chuckle, instead settling for an amused grin. Grimmjow lay spread-eagled on his back, mouth open as he snored rather loudly, his features peaceful in his slumber. The violet-colored sheet was draped across his hips, clinging low enough to reveal the enticing "v" of his pelvis, also broadcasting the fact that the larger man was still very much in the nude.

 _God, he was beautiful_.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_August 2008_

_About an hour ago_

_"I love you."_

_Grimmjow was silent but Ichigo imagined blue eyebrows reaching towards an equally blue hairline, since the blunet's face was still tucked into the crook of his neck. Ichigo hadn't meant to say it, but he very well couldn't take it back now - not that he'd even want to. It was how he felt; he just wasn't sure his boyfriend was ready to hear that._

_Ichigo felt the man shift over him until he was gazing down at him. Blue eyes regarded him with a mixture of amusement, curiosity, and something he was unable to label at the moment. Suddenly, the corner of Grimmjow's mouth lifted into a crooked grin as he cocked his head to the side._

_"I know," he murmured, and captured Ichigo's lips in a soft kiss. Ichigo felt his face get warm, as liquid heat gathered in the pit of his stomach. Before he could respond, Grimmjow started speaking again. "I knew for a while now, Ichi. I just - I don't -" Ichigo silenced the blunet with a finger over his lips._

_"Don't. Don't say anything until you feel like you're ready to, Grimm. It wasn't my intention to make you feel obligated to return the sentiment or anything...I, I just wanted you to know how I feel about you. How I've always felt about you," Ichigo said quietly._

_Grimmjow tilted his head to the side, his expression happy, yet also relieved. His large, warm hand cupped Ichigo's cheek as he brought their foreheads together._

_"Thank you, Ichigo," he whispered before kissing him again._

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_August 2008_

Ichigo smiled to himself in remembrance. There was absolutely nothing he wouldn't do for the man lying in his bed, and that included being patient with him. It was enough that Grimmjow had come as far as he had in their relationship, so bearing with him while the man came to terms with his feelings - if there even were any - was fine with him.

Suddenly, the sheet rustled and Grimmjow's rumbling snores ebbed, drawing Ichigo's attention. The blunet had rolled onto his right side, facing Ichigo, with his right hand pillowing his face and his left reaching towards the space Ichigo had occupied. Coming up empty, sleepy blue eyes cracked open a fraction, and when they landed on him seated in the window, opened all the way, then blinked sluggishly several times.

"What're ya doin' outta bed, Ichi?" Grimmjow's sleep-ridden voice sent small shivers rushing down Ichigo's back, and made his belly quiver with excitement.

"Not tired. Go back to sleep, Grimm."

Grimmjow buried his face in the pillow, but kept his eyes locked with Ichigo's. A slow, lazy grin stole across his features, completely depleting Ichigo's air supply, as well as raising his eyebrows to his hairline. Grimmjow patted the space beside him, smile still in place.

"C'mere."

Ichigo felt his face ignite and knew he was probably as red as a tomato, but damn if he wasn't thoroughly aroused. Pressing his lips together, then setting his mug of tea down on the windowsill, he headed to the bed, stripping as he went. Once he sat on the side of the bed and peeled his socks off, he was instantly encased in a warm embrace, Grimmjow's arms locked around his waist, pulling him towards his chest as Ichigo turned to face him.

"I can help with that insomnia," Grimmjow rumbled before kissing him. Ichigo grinned against his lover's lips.

"Oh yeah?" he murmured, running his fingers through soft, blue locks. Grimmjow pulled back, wide, feral smirk firmly in place.

"Mhmm, like Nyquil, just take me 'til ya doze off."

Fire spread through Ichigo's loins at the suggestive comment, and he attacked Grimmjow's mouth with renewed enthusiasm, tugging on the man's hair. The larger man rolled them over, positioning Ichigo on top of him and straddling those powerful thighs.

Ichigo ran his hands over the broad, firm chest underneath him and sighed with satisfaction, heart swelling with intense emotions. He leaned over and continued the kiss where they'd left off, taking control of it as he explored the warm, wet cavern. Grimmjow moaned softly, making Ichigo's dick harder than it already was.

He broke the kiss, traveling down his boyfriend's thickly corded neck, where he bit down harshly on the pulse point, leaving an angry red mark in his wake. Grimmjow growled and gripped his waist bruisingly, rolling his hips as he pressed Ichigo against his erection.

"Mmm, Ichi."

Ichigo, spurred onwards by that deep voice reverberating throughout his entire being, left open-mouthed kisses across his lover's chest before finally capturing his right nipple between his teeth, nipping gently. Grimmjow's hand plowed through Ichigo's hair, then gripped the back of his head as he gasped.

Ichigo blessed the man's left nipple with the same treatment, before slowly dragging his tongue down the rock-hard indentations marking Grimmjow's perfect abdomen. _God, he really was gorgeous everywhere_. Fine, pale blue hairs led downwards from a cute, "inny" navel, to an impressive member already straining and throbbing with desire. Ichigo followed that trail like Dorothy on the yellow brick road, inwardly clicking his heels in anticipation.

He licked his lips and ran his hand up the entire length, then back down to cup and massage his boyfriend's balls, smiling fiendishly when Grimmjow grunted softly. Ichigo flicked his tongue out, tasting the essence gathered in the slit of the pulsing erection before him. Grimmjow's taste was heady, potent, intoxicating; a delicious mixture of musk, sex and masculinity. _He loved it_.

Ichigo engulfed the head and swiftly took him into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks, sucking strongly. Grimmjow arched his back, tightening his grip in Ichigo's hair as he hissed loudly, hip muscles flexing. Then, Ichigo slipped his hands under his lover's firm bottom and squeezed as he calmly deep-throated him.

"Haah...Ichi...what the fuuuuck," Grimmjow moaned almost desperately, as he bucked his hips and grasped the back of Ichigo's head almost painfully, practically fucking his mouth.

If Ichigo could've smiled, he would've been grinning from ear to ear, but as it was, he was having a hard time not gagging on the incredible length down his throat.

"Unh...unh...unh," Grimmjow grunted in time to Ichigo's sucks, his head thrown back and mouth open in ecstasy. Ichigo narrowed his eyes in pleasure at the erotic sight, knowing he would never get tired of seeing it.

Suddenly, his hair was tugged harshly, pulling him away from the heavily saliva-coated arousal. The hand left his hair, but slid down to his neck, pulling him forward into an aggressive lip-lock.

"What the fuck're ya tryin' a'do to me, Ichi?" Grimmjow growled through deep pants.

"I thought that was obvious, Grimm," he answered snarkily. "I'm tryin' to make you come."

"Heh, Christ...you're too sexy for your own good, ya know that?"

"Yeah," Ichigo murmured against feverish lips, "can I finish the job now?" Grimmjow smirked, only the right side of his mouth lifting slightly.

"I got a better idea."

Grimmjow reached overhead for the bottle of lube that had been relocated to the nightstand, and once he retrieved it, gave Ichigo a perverted, toothy grin as he lifted his hips, rubbing his damp erection against the smaller man's entrance.

Ichigo grinned back just as lecherously. _Well, obviously Grimmjow's fear and apprehension had been abated_. He leaned down again, licking his boyfriend's soft bottom lip before prying his mouth open and plundering its depths. Ichigo quickly lost himself to the languid kiss, until something slick pressed against his tight hole, then slowly slipped inside. He arched his back, pushing back against the invading finger and humming in pleasure.

Grimmjow broke the kiss and licked a wet trail under Ichigo's chin, where he paused to suck on his adam's apple. In that instant, Ichigo felt him slip another finger inside him, and he groaned at the added friction, body practically begging for the real deal. Grimmjow's fingers were stroking his prostate with deadly accuracy, and Ichigo was trying his hardest not to rape the man.

"Grimm, now...please..." he panted, trying to regain some semblance of control. The blunet chuckled and withdrew his fingers, and after a few more seconds Ichigo felt the hot, blunt head of his lover's length prodding at his entrance.

Ichigo, losing all patience, lowered himself onto the presented arousal, adjusting to its girth when he finally reached the hilt. Grimmjow squeezed his eyes shut, his body trembling as he slowly caressed Ichigo's back, then lowered his hands to grip his bottom.

Ichigo was dancing on cloud nine, and could swear he heard angels singing. He loved the way the man fit perfectly inside him, as if their bodies were created specifically for one another. He lifted his hips slowly, but quickly lowered them, impaling himself on Grimmjow's stiff member.

"Fuck yes, Ichi," Grimmjow moaned, rolling his hips and gripping Ichigo's ass tightly. Ichigo bent over him, capturing his lips in another drugging kiss, and Grimmjow, using his grip on the smaller man's rear, guided his movements.

 _So fucking good_.

Grimmjow had raised his knees for leverage, as Ichigo sat up slightly, resting his weight on his arms, while the blunet met Ichigo thrust for thrust. He couldn't hold it in anymore and cried out loudly, chanting his boyfriend's name over and over like a Buddhist's mantra.

_God, if only Grimm would..._

Ichigo took one of Grimmjow's hands and led it to his neglected erection, making blue eyes snap open to see what he was doing. Comprehension slowly dawned on him, and Grimmjow stroked the hardened flesh in time to their movements, bringing Ichigo that much closer to his completion as his toes curled, and his fingers dug into the bedsheets on either side of the man's neck.

"Hah-hah-harder, Grimm!" he moaned, breathing harsh and body desperate for release.

Grimmjow eagerly complied, bright, ocean-blue eyes half-lidded and locked with his hazy browns. His blunet boyfriend was so fucking hot during sex. His heavy pants, lightly dusted cheeks, and half-lidded blue eyes were like an aphrodisiac to Ichigo, heightening his senses and making his nerves taut with excitement.

Grimmjow's free hand traveled over Ichigo's stomach, up his chest and around his neck, where he left it and just watched his face. They stared into one another's eyes and the feeling it brought on was overwhelming. Ichigo's heart felt like it would burst from his extremely strong love and lust for Grimmjow.

"Shit! I'm comin'!" he yelped, his orgasm abruptly spurting forth over Grimmjow's hand with all the force of a geyser.

Grimmjow had been oddly quiet, aside from a few grunts and soft moans, but had stared at him relentlessly. Ichigo didn't have a chance to wonder why before Grimmjow bucked his hips one last time, and gripped his ass, pressing into him as deeply as he could. The loud moan the blunet issued made Ichigo groan with delight. _Fucking sexy_.

He collapsed onto Grimmjow's chest, lazily kissing his neck before resting his head there, breathing in the scent emanating from the larger man. After a few minutes, Ichigo felt his eyelids grow heavy, and snickered softly when he realized Grimmjow had been right about taking him until he fell asleep, because he was indeed tired.

Grimmjow ran a hand through Ichigo's hair, and gave a satisfied sigh as he settled that hand at the nape of his neck. In that moment, Ichigo felt an overwhelming urge to be sappy again, but he held back, and within seconds, he was asleep.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_November 2008_

"Oi, gaki, what took you so - ah, nevermind," his Pop chuckled slyly.

"Shutup, Pop," he grumbled.

Grimmjow had called his father around an hour ago, asking the older man to open up the club for him, and hold down the fort until he could make it there. His Pop hadn't said anything on the phone, only giving his assent before hanging up. _Now, he knew why._

 _The old bastard wanted to mock him face-to-face...again_.

He and Ichigo had been making themselves scarce since their first night together, but everytime he'd shown up at the club, his Pop would tease him mercilessly, not to mention Yor and Bandana Boy. Even Hirako and Stark would put their two cents in, thoroughly embarrassing him. Ichigo had been no help, gloating and making lewd suggestions, only adding fuel to the fire.

Grimmjow couldn't bring himself to get upset though, because he'd realized... _he was in love with Ichigo. He'd come to that conclusion after their second time making love; he'd even said it, but Ichigo had fallen asleep and hadn't heard his declaration. After that, he'd been too afraid to say it again. Call him a coward, but he was scared. He didn't want to say it and jinx the relationship. Yeah, it was a childish excuse but it was how he felt. Things were going so well and he really didn't want it to go downhill all because of three simple words._

 _Add to that, the fact that he'd never actually been in love before, and there you had a recipe for fear. Sure, he'd had girlfriends in the past, but he'd never loved them. Liked them, of course, but love...entirely different ball game. Ichigo was his first of many things, and he'd be damned if he lost him._ _Fuck, his stomach went ballistic at the mere thought of it_.

Ichigo had invited his red-haired friend, Renji, out to the club with them that night. Grimmjow had been blown away when his berry head had come to him telling him the news of his friend's sexual preference, and how the guy had been hiding it, thinking there was something wrong with him. _All that time, and the fucker was gay his damned self. Life sure was strange_.

Yor, Bandana Boy, Hirako and Stark were seated at the bar beside his Pop, grinning conspiratorially at him and Ichigo as they made their approach. _Let the games begin_.

"Well, well, well, nice of you two ta crawl outta bed long 'nough ta drop by," Bandana Boy commented. "I swear, berry boy, if ya were a chick, ya'd prob'ly be knocked up."

Grimmjow flushed as his jaw hit the floor. _What the fuck?_ Ichigo just smirked and shrugged nonchalantly as he took a seat beside Hirako. _What the FUCK? Was he the only one that felt like their sex life was being put on display?_

"At least you're not limping anymore, Ichi," Hirako stated casually.

 _Apparently, he was_.

"Grimm, you're not losing your touch, are you?" Stark asked in a lazy drawl.

 _Oh god, kill him now_.

"What're ya talkin' 'bout? My boy's an animal, ain't that right, gaki?" his Pop added with their trademark shit-eating grin.

"He was probably being nice, ne Grimmjow?" Yor inquired, expression serious, but wide, emerald-green eyes glittering with amusement.

"Yeah, I made his favorite meal earlier," Ichigo said with a smirk and a wink. Grimmjow knew his face was beet red, as he plopped down into a seat next to his boyfriend.

"I hate all of ya, I hope ya know that," he grumbled sullenly, drawing laughter from his friends and father.

"Aww, boss, s'not that bad," Yumi chirped from his position behind the bar. "They're just happy you're gettin' some."

"Some, hell. From how many times he comes in late, he's getting a lot," Ikkaku corrected, a wide grin splitting his face in two.

"What the fuck." Grimmjow couldn't catch a break. _It seemed like everyone was in on the madness_.

Ichigo leaned over wearing a sweet smile and kissed his cheek, then ran his fingers through his hair in apology. _Shit like that always made him forgive his lover's teasing_. He turned his head and kissed Ichigo's soft lips.

"Ya know, I think ya do that on purpose just 'cuz ya know I'm gonna get ya back later on," Grimmjow growled softly, and Ichigo gave him a crooked grin.

"Busted."

Grimmjow chuckled and kissed him again. _What would he do without this guy?_ Suddenly, someone cleared their throat from behind them. He turned and his gaze landed on Renji, who was smiling widely.

"Aren't you two cute," he teased.

"Ya wanna die, pineapple?" Grimmjow snarled.

"Settle down, kitty-cat. I don't want any trouble tonight, so you can retract those claws."

"Fuck you."

"Ehhh? Ain't that Strawberry's job? Or is he tired of ya already? Maah, I told ya your pipe game was weak," Renji taunted.

Grimmjow snorted, but grinned maniacally as he considered the red head before him. Three months ago, he'd still been wary of the guy, but they had gradually eased into a playful banter that anyone, who didn't know them, would think was serious.

"That'll never happen. 'Sides, Ichi seems to like my "pipe game" just fine. Right, babe?" Grimmjow asked, turning to glance at his boyfriend. The corner of Ichigo's mouth lifted, as he sipped a White Russian.

"Very much."

Everyone burst into laughter, and Grimmjow ordered a vodka and cranberry, feeling better than he had in years.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_Las Noches_

_November 2008_

Renji sat on a midnight-blue stool at the bar of Ichigo's blue-haired boyfriend's club, slowly sipping a long island iced tea. Ever since he'd started therapy, he'd slowed down on the drinking, and whenever he went out, he limited himself to only two drinks.

 _Speaking of therapy, that was going pretty well_. Unohana-san was pretty laid-back, and on top of being a great listener (probably because it was her job), she also never judged him. It had taken him a whole month just to reveal his sordid past, but once he had, he'd felt like an immense weight had been lifted from his shoulders, making it much easier to tell Unohana everything. What he'd done to Ichigo; how he'd come to realize that he was attracted to men, but hid it, fearing he would go on a raping spree or something; his relationship with Rukia - everything.

As a result, he was doing much better. The nightmares had stopped, his gnawing guilt was slowly subsiding, and his friendship with Ichigo was blossoming once again. This time there were no restraints on either side; they were completely honest with each other, and it served to bring them closer together. They were still working out the kinks, but...it was getting better. Even his Uncle Kisuke had commented that he was doing much better.

Renji could see the relief in the blond's eyes whenever he went to visit him, and he would admit, he felt the same. He didn't feel like dying anymore. He didn't feel like the entire world was conspiring against him, or like he wanted to beat anyone that crossed his path into a bloody pulp. Most of all, he now understood that what had happened to him all those years ago had been an unfortunate incident, and not a foretelling of gay men's behavior. His step-father had been a sick man. _A pedophile_. And that had nothing to do with being gay at all.

Now, that he looked at it, he should've realized it sooner, but his fear and trauma had prevented it. It also explained his relationship with Rukia. At the time, he'd really felt like he'd been interested in her, even in love with her, but the truth of the matter was, he was trying to compensate for his "unnatural" attraction to the same sex. His only regret was how things had turned out between him and Rukia. She had really loved him and he'd hurt her. He had gone to her brother's house to apologize to the both of them, but had been told she wasn't there and hadn't been there since the day she moved out.

No one knew where she was and Renji feared for her health, mentally and physically. He knew she hated Ichigo with a fearsome passion, and there was no telling what the hell she was up to. He'd even gone looking for her, but had had no luck. _He was really worried about her_.

In the meantime, while him and Ichigo worked on their friendship, he'd struck up a friendly kind of rivalry with the Strawberry's boyfriend. At first, things had been rather tentative, and much like walking on eggshells, but after about a month, they both began to loosen up around one another. From there, they would argue over the smallest things, only to get on the other's nerves. It had gotten to the point where he now looked forward to it. The blue-haired guy, Grimmjow, was a pretty good guy, and it was obvious he adored Ichigo and vice versa.

 _They were made for one another_.

Renji wished he could have someone like that, but it would take time, he knew. Just like it had taken time for the rest of his old friends to accept his apologies. Tatsuki had outright punched him in the face, but hugged him afterwards, telling him he'd better not fuck up again. Chad had only stared at him for several moments before finally nodding and slowly shaking his hand. The blond guy, Shinji, had shrugged nonchalantly, claiming he wouldn't be so nice if Renji decided to mess up again, and from previous experience, he knew firsthand just how strong the blond was.

And imagine his surprise to see Ikkaku working the bar alongside a short, dark-haired male, that just so happened to be his lover. Renji had felt insane guilt for pressuring Ikkaku into beating Ichigo, but the bald man had interrupted him, claiming his choices were his own, and he'd come to terms with them already. Renji feeling guilt for Ikkaku's actions was unnecessary.

Then there had been Ishida and Inoue. Ishida had glared at him murderously, until Inoue scolded him for being so rude. Inoue had accepted his apology, and even gone as far as hugging him and telling him to feel free to talk to her whenever he needed someone other than his therapist to talk to.

 _Ishida still hadn't said a word to him. Ah, well, can't win them all_.

Renji's attention was jerked back to the present by Grimmjow's deep, rolling laughter. _He could see why Ichigo was so infatuated with the guy; he was really hot. And damn did he look exactly like his dad, Alric. It was fucking eerie_.

There were two other couples gathered at the bar that night. Shinji and his brown-haired boyfriend, Stark Coyote, who was sinfully lazy, and a tall, lanky dude named Nnoitra Jiruga and his petite, raven-haired, green-eyed boyfriend Ulquiorra Schiffer. Grimmjow called them Bandana Boy and Yor. Renji would admit the nicknames were a lot easier than the real thing.

Just then, Grimmjow's dad's voice accompanied the lights going up. Renji hadn't even noticed the time flying by. It was already three in the morning, the music had stopped, and the crowd was heading for the exit.

"Gaki, ya want me to close up too?" Alric boomed, his deep voice echoing across the emptying club. Grimmjow shook his head from his position beside Ichigo.

"Nah, I got it," the blunet responded, downing the rest of his drink and starting to rise from his seat.

Before Grimmjow could move, the most beautiful creature Renji had ever seen in his life, approached the blue-haired man, hands in the pockets of his torn dark-blue jeans. The dark-haired man was wearing a light-purple, long-sleeved shirt with "kiss the DJ" written across the front in black letters, the sleeves pushed up to mid-forearm, dark-blue jeans with a black belt, and black low-top Nike Air Force One sneakers. There were black rubber wristbands adorning each wrist, and tattoos on his face and neck. The man screamed sex with his slow, confident gait, and his devilish expression. Coal-colored eyes glanced in Renji's direction, sweeping his form with a quick, appreciative look, before refocusing on Grimmjow.

"I'm takin' off, chief," his deep voice rumbled, as he pushed a hand through his spiky hair.

Renji's mouth had gone completely dry. _Who was that guy? He'd never been that strongly drawn to someone before, and it was certainly disconcerting_.

"Alright, Shuuhei, see ya tomorrow night," Grimmjow returned, and the man named Shuuhei nodded, then headed for the exit.

"Psst, you're drooling," Ichigo whispered loudly. Renji shook his head slightly to focus, and immediately scowled at his friend.

"No, I'm not," he muttered. Ichigo lifted a brow and snorted.

"Sure. Then I guess you don't wanna come back tomorrow night for the pre-Thanksgiving Day party, huh?"

Renji grinned as he watched Shuuhei exit the club. "I never said all that."


	17. So Effin Sexy

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...or the songs mentioned.

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_November 2008_

Renji feared he was losing his damned mind. The entire day he'd done nothing but think about that dark-haired DJ. _Shuuhei_. He remembered Grimmjow saying his name the night before, and it stuck in his mind, repeating itself constantly. He had never seen a guy quite as attractive as the Las Noches DJ, and truth be told, he really wanted to get to know him. He briefly wondered if Shuuhei rolled that way. _Ah well, he'd just have to find out_.

His therapy session had been cancelled due to a family emergency on Unohana-san's end, so he was able to go and pick out a new outfit for the party that evening. Renji cringed in embarrassment as he stepped from his shower. _He was being such a fucking girl. Going out and buying new clothes? Actually trying to impress someone? And a guy, at that?_

 _Shit_.

He wrapped a large, fluffy, black towel around his waist and strolled into his bedroom. His outfit lay across his bed, brand new and still smelling like the store he'd purchased it from. It had been a really long time since Renji had felt the need to give a fuck about his wardrobe, and he knew it would certainly come as a surprise to Ichigo. He chuckled at the thought of the strawberry's reaction to his meticulously groomed appearance.

Feeling unusually silly, he walked over to his stereo, slipped in a CD and smiled at the song bleeding through the speakers. Cranking the volume up, he began two-stepping around his room as he got dressed.

_Pimp juice (whoooo-ooooo-hooo)_

_I think I need to let her loose_

_Let her loose (let her loose)_

_She only want me for my pimp juice_

_Not my pimp juice, I'm talkin' her pimp juice_

_I think I need to cut her loose_

_Yes I do (yes, I do)_

Lifting his hand as if he were holding a microphone, he clenched his eyes shut and imitated the voice crooning the lyrics. Renji danced his way to his dresser, withdrawing a pair of black boxer briefs and black ankle socks, before dancing his way back to his bed. He cocked his head to the right, contemplating his outfit.

It consisted of: a black, form-fitting t-shirt, stone-washed gray jeans, a black and gray plaid scarf, and fresh black and gray Nike Air Force One sneakers. Carefully removing the tags from the clothing, then lacing his sneakers to fit comfortably and loosely, Renji started to dress, still singing and absently nodding his head.

 _He was, strangely, in a good mood_. For the past few months, things had been looking up for him, and although it all still felt surreal and odd, it made him happier than he'd ever been in his life. He had started taking courses at Karakura University for Sports Therapy, since he'd always loved basketball, but after injuring his knee, his future had been derailed. So, in order to still be somewhat involved with the sport he loved, he'd decided a career in helping injured athletes was right up his alley.

He also had a job working evenings at a popular bookstore/cafe. It was boring as fuck, but the pay was good and it kept him occupied. His boss, Jyuushiro Ukitake, was handsome for an older guy, but always seemed to be sick. _It was strange_. He was either always sneezing or coughing lightly. Other than that, the man was great to work for; he had a really kind soul.

Renji smiled as he pulled his sneakers on and strolled over to the large mirror on his dresser. Turning first to the right, then to the left, he nodded, satisfied with his appearance. He'd decided to fore-go his usual ponytail, letting the bright red locks spill across his shoulders and down his back. He sprayed on a light body mist that was a mixture of coconut and lime, grabbed his gray hoodie, keys and wallet, then left his apartment feeling light as a feather.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_November 2008_

_Ichigo just knew he was fucking drooling_.

When Grimmjow had informed him of his decision to "come out" to everyone about his love of most things American Urban, Ichigo hadn't thought twice about it, but now? _Holy shit_.

He was standing in his living room - having just admitted Grimmjow into the apartment - gaping openly at his boyfriend. Ichigo thought he himself was fairly good-looking in his brown, form-fitting v-neck t-shirt, tan hoodie, tan and denim stone-washed jeans, and brown high-top Converse sneakers, BUT... _he had shit-for-all on Grimmjow_.

His blue-haired boyfriend was currently dressed in a form-fitting, royal-blue and white, plaid, thin flannel, long-sleeved button-up shirt that was rolled and pinned to the elbows, exposing the tanned skin of his forearms. The first three buttons were left undone, revealing a peek at the top of his chiseled chest. Light-blue jeans with a black belt, and a pair of Space Jam Jordans nearly completed the look. Now, Ichigo said nearly because Grimmjow was wearing something he'd never seen him wear before, and although out of the ordinary, it was completely sexy, making heat smolder from beneath his clothes.

Grimmjow wore a black New Era fitted cap over his electric blue hair. The brim was white, and the American New York Yankees baseball team symbol, situated on the front of the cap, was royal-blue. The brim was tilted upwards slightly, revealing his bangs and arched brow.

"Yo, Ichi, ya good?" he asked with a smug grin. _Bastard_.

Ichigo shook his head a bit as if to clear it, "Shutup. I'm not used to seeing you like this," he mumbled stupidly.

Grimmjow frowned as he shifted his weight to his right side, "Is that good er bad?"

"Definitely good."

Ichigo sidled up to his boyfriend, tugged on the collar of his shirt to bring him down to eye level and kissed him. Grimmjow grinned against his lips before slipping his arms around Ichigo's waist and prying his mouth open. As soon as the taller man thrust his tongue into his mouth, he melted, sagging against him and wanting nothing more than to strip the man and have his way with him.

Ichigo moaned as the blunet's scent assaulted him, the musky cologne and fresh laundry smell soothing him, as well as turning him on. Grimmjow tightened his grip on Ichigo's waist, pulling him closer until there was no more space between them, and aggressively explored his mouth. He nibbled Ichigo's bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth, then finally releasing it and pulling back from the kiss. Ichigo grunted at the loss of contact, scowling as Grimmjow smiled down at him.

"If we keep this up, we won't make it to the club," he growled, making Ichigo moan softly at his tone. _Fucking prick_.

"Tease," Ichigo muttered.

Grimmjow grinned devilishly, making alarms shriek in Ichigo's mind, before his boyfriend suddenly licked him sloppily from his chin to the bridge of his nose, then quickly danced out of reach when Ichigo swiped at him.

"ARRRGGHH, GROSS! GRIMM, WHAT THE FUCK!" he bellowed as Grimmjow laughed hysterically.

"Ahh! Ichi, your face was classic!"

"Tch, c'mon, you fuckin' juvenile."

Fuming, Ichigo flicked the lights off as they left the apartment, then headed for the elevators. Grimmjow used the time they were waiting for the elevator to drape an arm across his shoulders, and press an apologetic kiss to his temple. _Ichigo could never stay mad at the idiot_.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_Las Noches Pre-Thanksgiving Day Party_

_November 2008_

Grimmjow felt like a brand new man as he and Ichigo stepped inside the vibrating club, the smell of alcohol, cigarettes and mingled perfumes and colognes washing over him. _He was so fucking excited! He seriously felt like a kid on Christmas Eve_.

He had already decided to broadcast the side of him he'd kept hidden for so long, and tonight was his "debut" in a way. Grimmjow spotted Stark, Hirako, Yor and Bandana Boy at the bar and absently wondered where his Pop was. Shrugging it off, he glanced towards the raised DJ booth, connecting gazes with Shuuhei. The dark-haired male gave a secretive smirk, which Grimmjow returned.

He and Shuuhei had been meeting in private, practicing and making certain preparations for that very evening, and Grimmjow had been pleasantly surprised at the DJ's talent in areas aside from mixing and working turntables. Bouncing on the balls of his feet, then slipping into a quick two-step as he rubbed his hands together, Grimmjow made his way to the bar, his sexy ass orange-haired boyfriend at his side.

Grimmjow had to admit that Ichigo looked damn good in earthy tones like brown and tan. It reminded him of the current season - autumn. Along with his hair, Ichigo resembled a warm sunset, or a pile of leaves falling from trees that were preparing for the upcoming winter. _Absolutely beautiful_.

Suddenly, Shuuhei switched tracks, and made Grimmjow's entire being light up as the music wrapped around him like gauze bandages.

_Everywhere I go I'm_

_Dressed up when I go out_

_I got lots of problems_

_Lemme show you how I showout_

_Showout, showout, showout_

_All I do is showout_

_Inhale the kush_

_Then I blow out_

Grimmjow almost lost his cool, and had to forcefully make himself calm down. _He didn't want to ruin the surprise he had planned for later_. Ichigo chuckled, drawing his attention, and when he glanced down at his boyfriend, nut-brown eyes shone back at him, amusement twinkling in their depths.

"What's funny?" he grumbled, making Ichigo arch an orange brow.

"You. You look like a coke head in the land of blow."

"Shutup."

"Aww, c'mon Grimm, it's cute!"

Grimmjow jerked the smaller man to him by the collar, eyes narrowed, as he pressed their noses together, "Oi, I ain't cute. Sexy? Hot? Yeah. Cute? Hell no," he growled dangerously.

Ichigo's eyes gleamed devilishly as he pressed closer, "You're fuckin' cute," he murmured before suddenly licking him, chin to nose.

"Little bastard!" Grimmjow yelped, swinging his arm out to try to catch the younger man, but Ichigo dodged him quickly. "I'm only gonna get ya later!"

Ichigo plopped into a seat beside Hirako, using the slim blond to fend Grimmjow off. Hirako just grinned slyly, "Play nice, children," he teased.

Stark glanced at them, yawning loudly, "Yo, Grimm, Ichigo."

Grimmjow arched a brow and shook his head as he seated himself beside the drowsy brunet. _How the hell could someone be so lazy? So tired all the time? The club was noisier than a plane crash, yet his friend managed to still look sleepy_.

"Stark, why the fuck are ya always tired?" Grimmjow inquired, drawing the attention of Hirako, Ichigo, Yor and Bandana Boy. Stark shrugged with a small smirk.

"Shinji."

Hirako turned an alarming shade of red as everyone chortled at his expense. The blond immediately began bickering with Stark, who efficiently shut him up with an aggressive lip-lock. Ichigo wolf-whistled while Bandana Boy snapped, "Get a fuckin' room!"

"Where's Pop?" Grimmjow asked, turning towards Yor.

"In the office, I'm assuming. Your accountant is here," the solemn, green-eyed man answered.

Grimmjow's eyes widened in shock, "Nel? She usually comes during the day, though."

"I like parties too!" a light, feminine voice chirped from behind him. He turned, smiling brightly.

"Oi, Nel! Good to see ya again!"

"Of course, Grimmy-chan! When Alric told me about the party, I had to come! You're like my nephew!" she bubbled. Grimmjow on the other hand cringed while his face burned.

"Nel, please stop callin' me that. I ain't a kid anymore," he grumbled.

Nel pouted and folded her arms across her ample breasts, "You'll always be my little nephew, Grimmy-chan."

Grimmjow heard Ichigo snort into his drink, and knew for a fact that Nel had just condemned him to at least a week's worth of teasing...if not more. Before he could respond to the buxom green-haired woman, his Pop approached, greeting him the way only he could.

"Gaki, late again?"

Grimmjow sighed and rolled his eyes, "Well, it wasn't 'cuz a'that this time. I actually had some things to do."

"Ichigo, that true?" Alric asked, deep voice easily carrying over the music.

Grimmjow watched Ichigo give a dramatic sigh, "Sadly, yes. It's true."

"Wow, thems the breaks, ne?" Yumi added from behind the bar.

Ichigo had his mouth ready to reply when a low whistle from Nel cut across him. Her attention was focused towards the open club doors, and when he turned to see what had her so enchanted, his eyes nearly fell out of his head in shock.

_Pineapple?_

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_Las Noches Pre-Thanksgiving Day Party_

_November 2008_

Shuuhei loved his job at Las Noches. The boss was cool as hell, and the overall atmosphere was just laid back and fun. When he'd applied for the position as the house DJ, he had been expecting a flamboyantly gay owner that would probably try to hit on him at the first presented opportunity. So, you could imagine his surprise to see a blue-haired giant of a man sitting behind a large mahogany desk.

The man had introduced himself as Grimmjow Jaegerjaques. He was extremely handsome and had a gruffly blunt personality. He had gone on to explain to Shuuhei what he was looking for in a DJ, and once all the cards had been placed on the table, Shuuhei assured him that he was the man for the job.

Grimmjow had a secret addiction to American Urban music, and so did he. He felt like it was perfect. He'd brought in one of his mix CDs that he'd used at parties before, and watched with amusement as Grimmjow nearly melted in his large leather desk chair. After hearing only three cuts, the blunet had damn near vaulted from his seat to shake hands with him, enthusiastically claiming that Shuuhei was the official house DJ of Las Noches.

Shuuhei had smiled, returned the vigorous hand shake and thanked him for the job. After he'd left the club, he had gone home to surprise his boyfriend, Kensei, with the news, only to find said boyfriend hip-deep in some blond guy. At first glance, Shuuhei had thought the guy was a chick with long, wavy blond hair, but upon closer inspection, realized it was a really feminine-looking man. _Still didn't make the betrayal any less painful_.

He and Kensei had been together for three years. Shuuhei thought that they had been happy, so, Kensei's cheating had come as a side-swipe, leaving him slightly dazed and depressed for weeks. Grimmjow had become a sort of confidant for him, listening to his rants whenever they managed to be at Las Noches together before the club opened. He could honestly say that the blue-haired man was, not only his boss, but also his friend.

Shuuhei remembered being slightly nervous when Grimmjow had approached him, demanding he spill what was bothering him. He knew the man's friends were gay and that was the reason he opened up a gay club to begin with, but Shuuhei was unsure of how Grimmjow would personally act towards his situation. Before he even had a chance to respond, his boss's orange-haired boyfriend appeared, kissing and hugging him. _Hell, he had thought the man was straight_.

Finally, he'd broken down and explained his breakup, Grimmjow giving him surprisingly good advice in the process. After that, he'd eased from his slump and began enjoying life again. His nights at Las Noches were incredibly entertaining and interesting. _You see all sorts of people coming to party_.

Then, last night, Shuuhei had approached Grimmjow to say his goodbyes, like usual, and had seen a really attractive red head. _Bright red hair, actually. It suited the guy_. He hadn't really got a chance to get a good look at him, but he seemed to be friends with Ichigo, Grimmjow's boyfriend.

 _Which brought him to the present_. It was the night of the pre-Thanksgiving Day party. Grimmjow was revealing his "other" side (it always made him laugh to see the big blue-haired man so excited about that kind of music and dancing), and he'd recruited Shuuhei to help him do so. In order for that to work, he'd had to make a mix CD with the necessary songs. _That was cool. It would give him a chance to mingle and hang with the boss and his friends. They all seemed like a cool bunch. Besides, he was secretly hoping Ichigo's red-haired friend would show up again_.

He adjusted, with one hand, his high-quality, Bose headphones, the bend connecting the earpieces hanging along the nape of his neck, while he scratched the intro to the next track, an oldie but goodie, J'Kwon's "Tipsy". That song always turned the clubgoers into dancing maniacs.

His booth was lit by an eerie kind of blacklight that turned his all-white, form-fitting, v-neck t-shirt into a neon purplish kind of glow. His black jeans set off his black and white belt, while his black on white Pro-Keds sneakers completed the simple look. Grimmjow had told him to wear a hat for what they had planned, and at the moment, the black and white New Era fitted cap rested beside his turntables.

Every now and then, Shuuhei would glance over at Grimmjow and his group waiting for the man's signal, and the last time he had done so, he'd noticed that everyone's attention was focused towards the entrance. Curious, he took a glimpse at what was holding everyone captive, and promptly gasped.

 _Holy shit. It was him. The red head_.

He looked completely different wearing gray and black, but the outfit definitely suited him, not to mention, fit him like a second skin. _Then there was his hair_.

 _Christ Almighty_.

It was long. At least down to right beneath his shoulder blades, and it flowed like spun silk, the bright-red color shining under the club lights. Shuuhei couldn't see everything in detail the way he really wanted to, but from what he could see, he was fucking beautiful.

 _He had to meet him. Now. Before anyone else tried to stake their claim to him_.

Shuuhei plucked the mix CD he had prepared for the evening from his binder-styled CD case, slipped it into the player, and after scratching into the intro, he grabbed his hat and made his way towards the bar. He gently pushed past the mass of inebriated, swaying bodies until he emerged from the dance floor and in front of the lit bar. Yumi and Ikkaku were pretty busy, but still managed to make serving the frenzied patrons look effortless.

Shuuhei felt his heart skip a beat as he approached Grimmjow's group of friends, where the gorgeous red head stood, bickering lightly with the blue-haired man. His voice was deep, kind of gruff, but altogether sexy. Ichigo spotted him first, a sly smile creasing his features. The orange-haired man tapped the red head on the arm, drawing his attention, then stated loudly as Shuuhei got close enough to be able to smell the exotic scent emanating from said red head, "Renji, this is the DJ, Shuuhei Hisagi."

 _Renji. What a lovely name_.

Renji turned, surprise shining in his russett-colored eyes as he stared back at Shuuhei. Shuuhei felt his throat clog, and his chest tighten. _This guy was absolutely perfect_. Intricate tattoos started with his eyebrows and wound their way down the sides of his neck, disappearing beneath his black t-shirt. His reddish-brown eyes were expressive, his nose was straight, and his lips were full, almost pouty.

And he was built like an athlete, slightly taller than himself. Renji probably stood around 6'1", 6'2", while Shuuhei was around 5'11", almost 6' even. Not only was Renji tall, he was muscular, as was obvious by his sinewy arms. His black t-shirt clung alluringly to what appeared to be washboard abs and a broad chest.

Shuuhei inwardly groaned, wanting nothing more than to run his hands all over the man. Renji's scent was intoxicating and exotic, reminding him of an island breeze in the summer.

Finally coming to his senses, he stuck his hand out towards the tall red head and smiled amiably.

"Nice to meet you, Renji."

Shuuhei would swear he saw Renji shudder slightly before he grasped his hand and shook, "Yeah, same here."

_What an interesting night this would be._

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_Las Noches Pre-Thanksgiving Day Party_

_November 2008_

Renji was absolutely fucking speechless.

No sooner had he wondered why the dark-haired DJ wasn't stationed at his booth, the man appeared behind him, eyeing him like he was a carnivore and Renji was a large, juicy steak. _Had his fucking toes curling and everything_.

He was taller than the guy, but Shuuhei made up for the scant few inches with lean, but solid muscle. There was no way Renji could accurately depict the way this man affected him. _It was almost scary_.

They'd ended up seated beside each other at the bar in companionable silence, until Shuuhei finally spoke, his deep voice playing Renji's spine like a metal triangle.

"How do I get to know you better, Renji?"

If it wouldn't have caused him abject shame in front of Grimmjow and Ichigo, he would've fainted in the midst of an epic nosebleed.

_What the hell?_

"Uh, erm, I suppose...I don't really know," he huffed in frustration, "I'm...wait...why would ya wanna do that?"

_Was Shuuhei...saying...what he thought he was saying?_

Apparently he was, because Shuuhei gave him a sinful smirk before replying, "Well, this is a gay bar. I guess I just assumed. Am I wrong?"

Renji shook his head almost eagerly, inwardly chastising himself for being such a woman. Shuuhei's devilish smirk widened as he leaned towards him. Heat flared in the pit of his stomach when the raven-haired DJ entered his personal bubble, coal-colored eyes gleaming with mischief.

"So, Renji, how do I get to know you?" Shuuhei murmured.

"The normal way, I guess..." Renji's voice trailed off as he wished desperately that the floor would open up and swallow him whole.

_Had he really just said that?_

"The normal way?" Shuuhei asked with a quirked, dark eyebrow.

_Yeah, he had. How lame!_

Renji cringed in embarrassment, as he tried to figure out a way to redeem himself from this utterly mortifying situation. Deciding a drink was definitely in order, he turned to Ikkaku, who was grinning with amusement. _H-had he heard that?_

"Whataya need, Renji?" his bald friend asked.

"Grey Goose and cranberry," he muttered. Ikkaku nodded and busied himself mixing the alcohol. He slowly turned back to Shuuhei, who was idly sipping a bright-pink drink. _What the hell?_ "What the heck is that," he blurted.

Shuuhei grinned, showing pearly-white teeth as he leaned towards Renji again, "X-Rated."

Renji felt his face flush as he inwardly whined like a trapped dog. _Oi, oi, oi. The man was certainly trying to either send him into cardiac arrest or give him a stroke. Either way, he would die_.

Just then, Ikkaku placed his drink in front of him, and Renji had to strangle the urge to toss the entire thing back in one gulp.

 _Fuck_.

 _And damn, did Shuuhei smell wonderful, like oranges and testosterone. Heady and potent_. It made Renji damn near swoon, and definitely created a hell of a lot of tension in his pants.

"Ya got a phone?" he grunted, face burning as Shuuhei arched a brow at him.

"Yeah, I got a phone."

"Can I see it?"

Shuuhei tugged a purple cell phone from his back pocket and handed it over. Renji quickly entered his number and saved it, then handed it back. Shuuhei chuckled, the sound making Renji vibrate like a washer during the rinse cycle.

"That was different," he stated, those dark eyes boring into Renji's own.

"Eh-heh," Renji laughed, nervously pushing a hand through his hair, "sorry, I'm still kinda new to this whole thing."

Shuuhei cocked his head to the side, giving him a genuine smile, albeit a small one, "That's cool, Renji. We'll start small and work our way up, ok?"

Renji gaped at the man, completely stupefied and his heart stuttering in his chest. Shaking the cobwebs from his brain, he managed to nod dumbly, then turned away and took a hefty gulp of his drink. Coughing as the alcohol burned his throat, he wanted to die when Shuuhei again chuckled, but politely patted him on the back. The spot where his hand had connected seemed to sting like a paper cut, as blood rushed to his groin.

 _Holy shit_.

Suddenly, Grimmjow was standing next to Shuuhei, an amused gleam in his ocean-blue eyes. What was with the kitty-cat? Kitty-cat fit the large blunet because of his feral grins and downright predatory aura, not to mention, he reminded Renji of a large cat, like a leopard, or better yet, a panther.

At the moment, Grimmjow was having a quiet conversation with Shuuhei, who was in the process of downing his drink and rising from his seat at the bar.

_What was going on? Did Shuuhei have to go back to work?_

Before he could question anything, Shuuhei was leaning towards him, his mouth aimed for Renji's ear, "We'll talk more later," he rumbled, before gently squeezing his shoulder and walking off behind Grimmjow.

Suddenly, Yumi, Ikkaku's boyfriend was speaking from the microphone located at the DJ booth, "Ok, all you dancers, could you please make some room for two very special people?" The crowd paused in their uniform swaying, as the music was momentarily lowered to allow Yumi more control.

"That's right, I need you to make some space in the middle of the floor there - yeah, just like that!" Yumi's cheerful voice echoed through the club over the patrons' murmurings, "We've got a surprise for you tonight! The owner and DJ are going to perform for you, one song only, but it should be good! You excited? I know I am!"

The crowd cheered drunkenly, some whistling, others downright screaming. Renji just knew his face displayed his confusion, but apparently, he wasn't the only one. All of Grimmjow's friends were baffled and it showed; even the blunet's father wore a curious expression.

Renji moved beside Ichigo, who was watching the two men with wide eyes, "Perform what, Ichigo?" he whispered.

"No idea," his orange-haired friend breathed.

Grimmjow and Shuuhei wore nearly identical hats and had just lowered them over their brows when Yumi cranked the music back up. The two men were positioned beside each other, and Renji finally realized that they were about to dance.

 _Damn, he felt dumb_.

A hypnotic, head-nodding beat started up, and Shuuhei was the first to start moving, throwing his leg up and to the side slightly before bringing it down and moving both legs simutaneously. Renji gasped excitedly when he recognized the dance.

_Holy fucking shit!_

_Teach me how to Dougie_

_Teach me, teach me how to Dougie (Dougie)_

_Teach me how to Dougie_

_Teach me, teach me how to Dougie (Dougie)_

_All my bitches love me_

_All my, all my bitches love me (love me)_

_All my bitches love me_

_You ain't fuckin' wit' mah Dougie_

Renji, being a fan of American Urban dances, knew the dances the two men were accurately and impressively nailing. "The Dougie" and "Jerkin'" were widely popular and sexy as hell if done correctly and well, and he would be the first to say that the two men in the middle of the dance floor were lightyears beyond sexy at the moment.

Jaws were on the floor as everyone watched Grimmjow and Shuuhei moving fluidly together. Shinji yelled and was instantly on his feet, cheering madly, followed swiftly by Nnoitra, Alric and some green-haired woman. Stark and Ulquiorra were on their feet as well, but more reserved, although their eyes were shiny with excitement.

Ikkaku was grinning widely as he continued to fix drinks, and Ichigo... _haha_. Ichigo was rooted to the spot, eyes the size of saucers and mouth hanging open. _Guess he didn't know Grimmjow was capable of dancing like that_. Shuuhei was a surprise as well, although he was more mysterious than his blue-haired boss.

The club became deafening with cheers when Shuuhei purposely knocked Grimmjow's hat from his head, only for the taller man to catch it behind his back and do an intricate move with his arms before replacing it. It was obvious the two men were having a lot of fun and it was so fucking hot to watch.

Finally, the song ended and Grimmjow and Shuuhei left the dancefloor amidst thunderous applause and cheers. Patrons assaulted them with pats on the back and handshakes as they strode back to the bar. They were instantly smothered with praise, and just when Renji was starting to feel like an outsider, Shuuhei appeared before him, smiling devilishly, coal-colored eyes gleaming brightly.

"That was hot," Renji blurted, blushing furiously once he realized what he'd said.

Shuuhei only stepped closer, then leaned forward, "Thank you, but I think you're hotter," he murmured in Renji's ear, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

_Hoo, boy..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sidenote: you can google Grimm's sneakers (Space Jam Jordans), as well as his and Shuuhei's hats. Fitted caps are hats without the snap adjustment in the back. You can also youtube the dances (The Dougie; Jerkin') and here's a list of the songs I used this chapter:
> 
> Pimp Juice-Nelly
> 
> Showout-Roscoe Dash
> 
> Tipsy-J'Kwon
> 
> Teach Me How to Dougie-Cali Swag District


	18. When It Rains It Pours An' All

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_Sunny days_

_Everybody loves them_

_Tell me baby, can you stand the rain_

_Storms will come_

_This we know for sure_

_But tell me can you stand the rain_

_-New Edition-_

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_December 2008_

"Mm," Ichigo hummed, as Grimmjow latched onto his left nipple, gently nipping, then sucking away the sting.

The blunet's hands were everywhere. His sides, thighs, stomach... _absolutely all over him_. Everytime Grimmjow touched him, it felt like the first time. His caresses were tender, yet aggressive, and no longer hesitant or apprehensive. Ichigo was, not only happy as hell, but also proud of his boyfriend. _The man had come so far in such a short time_.

 _It was amazing. HE was amazing_.

Grimmjow trailed wet, open-mouthed kisses down Ichigo's abdomen, pausing to dip his tongue in the smaller man's navel. He chuckled breathlessly and grabbed Grimmjow's shoulders, pushing him away from the ticklish spot.

"Stop, baka!"

Grimmjow lifted his head slightly, grinning fiendishly, "Ya ticklish, Ichi?"

Ichigo gave him a withering glare that did nothing to serve its purpose in discouraging the blunet from his previous actions. However, before he could protest, his boyfriend's lips were wrapped firmly around the head of his erection.

"Ah!" he gasped, gripping a handful of soft, thick blue hair.

Grimmjow immediately took him deep into his throat, swallowing as blue eyes locked with brown. Ichigo bucked his hips slightly, the sudden pressure making his eyes roll back. The bigger man held his hips down and started a maddening pace that had Ichigo writhing desperately beneath him, moaning and whimpering.

All of a sudden, a slick finger was probing his entrance tentatively before pressing forward to settle inside him. Ichigo sucked in a shaky breath, as his free hand clenched the bedsheets and Grimmjow's hot, wet mouth continued to torture him, pulling and sucking noisily.

The hand in the blunet's hair tightened as Ichigo bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. Grimmjow had just inserted another finger and was in the process of scissoring them.

_Please, god..._

Ichigo arched his back, hips jerking sharply when his boyfriend added a third finger to his tight passage, humming in satisfaction as his prostate was struck.

_Please, GOD..._

Grimmjow gave a particularly strong suck, making Ichigo's bones liquify as he came hard enough to smash bricks.

"Unnghh, fuck!" he whimpered as his dick throbbed it's release into Grimmjow's mouth.

Grimmjow swallowed, grinning like a cheshire cat, then climbed to his knees, generously coating his heavy arousal with lube. Ichigo watched with a half-lidded gaze, admiring his boyfriend's perfect body. Arms roped with taut muscles. The valley between his firm pectorals that led to the dips and indentations marking his rock-hard abdomen, to the enticing "v" of his pelvis and hips. His strong, muscular and incredibly long legs.

 _Grimmjow really was a god_.

"I love seein' ya make that face, Ichi," that sinful baritone rumbled, causing goosebumps to erupt across Ichigo's skin.

Smirking devilishly, he huskily replied, "And I love makin' it for you, Grimm."

Grimmjow's ocean-blue eyes darkened to a deep midnight-blue, as he threw Ichigo's legs over his broad shoulders and guided his stiff member to the presented pink entrance. Ichigo lifted his hips, body practically begging to be filled, and his blunet boyfriend eagerly complied, pushing forward and sinking deep.

"F-fffuuuuck," Ichigo's voice trembled as Grimmjow settled inside of him.

"Mmm, Ichi...so fuckin' good," the older man groaned heatedly, adjusting his body to a more comfortable position, as he placed his arms on either side of Ichigo.

The pace started slowly, Grimmjow giving deep, searching thrusts, while Ichigo bit his lip and gripped the man's arms.

 _God, it was so good_.

"F-faster, Grimm, please," he panted.

Grimmjow grunted and picked up the pace, hips slapping against Ichigo's ass.

 _Harder. Faster. Please_.

As though the blunet could read his thoughts, he began moving faster and harder, the bed protesting loudly. Ichigo ran his hands up Grimmjow's arms to his shoulders, where he squeezed tightly. He loved the way sweat formed across the man's brow, the way his eyelids drooped to half-mast as he watched Ichigo, the way he panted and moaned, and the way his face flushed the more excited he became.

 _Shit, Ichigo was gonna come_.

Heat flared in his belly and pelvis, even as his balls tightened and lifted, preparing for his imminent release. He clenched his teeth, as Grimmjow suddenly changed the angle of his thrusts and began stabbing his prostate mercilessly. Entire body trembling like a chihuahua, he threw his head back, crying out his orgasm.

"Oh god, oh GOD, OH GOD! GRIMM! I LOVE YOU!"

Grimmjow gasped, eyes clenching shut, and thrusts becoming jerky and uncoordinated as he was propelled into his own climax.

"Oh shit, Ichi...fuck...fuck," he murmured as his movements stilled, his body still poised above Ichigo's.

He gave Grimmjow a chance to catch his breath before sliding his legs from the man's shoulders. The taller man sighed deeply, slowly pulling out and rolling onto his right side next to Ichigo.

Ichigo sighed himself, pressing closer to Grimmjow's warmth as the blunet's thickly corded arms wound around his waist, pulling him even closer. Just as he began to feel sleep dragging him under, he lifted his head to peek over Grimmjow's shoulder at the digital clock on the nightstand. _12:01 am_. Ichigo smiled.

"Grimm," he whispered. His boyfriend grunted sleepily and cracked a blue eye. "Merry Christmas."

The corner of Grimmjow's mouth lifted slightly, as his eye slid shut and the arm around Ichigo's waist tightened briefly, "Merry Christmas, Ichi."

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_Christmas Day_

_December 2008_

_She had finally gathered the courage to do it_.

Rukia lay on her back, glaring at the dingy, yellow, cracked and peeling ceiling of the sleazy motel she'd been staying in, contemplating her next move. She knew what she wanted to do, and she even had an idea of how to go about it. All she'd been lacking was the courage. _The balls to actually go and do it._

_And she'd found it. Them._

_But then._

_It had been Thanksgiving Day_. She'd been picking up a few necessary items at the local grocery store, when she'd spotted Renji. Not only had he looked extremely handsome, but he'd been walking and chatting...with him. _Ichigo Kurosaki_. The man that had previously been the bane of Renji's existence had been walking beside him, talking, laughing, getting along as if nothing was wrong with that whole situation.

She'd stared, and even went as far as following them, only to make sure she hadn't been seeing things. _And she hadn't_. They had gone to Ichigo's home, where she'd noticed two men on the stoop smoking cigarettes. One of them was familiar, with his head of shocking blue hair, but the other man had been a new face.

Rukia hadn't been surprised to see Ichigo walk up to the blue-haired man and kiss him, but she'd nearly fallen flat on her face in shock to see the dark-haired man flick away his cigarette butt, then approach Renji, sliding a muscular arm across the red head's shoulders as he lightly kissed his temple. She'd been even more surprised when all Renji did was blush and scowl.

 _She'd felt like Alice falling down the damned rabbit hole. Nothing had seemed right or normal_.

Rukia had been furious as she'd stormed away from Ichigo's house. Just what the fuck had happened to her ex-boyfriend to make him do a complete 180 degree turn. _Renji was...gay now?_

 _Impossible_.

But the proof had been laid before her like a buffet. _She didn't understand any of it_. She didn't know why Renji was again friends with Ichigo, whom he had forever cursed to condemnation because of his so-called betrayal. Then, to add icing to the already fucked up cake, he was gay. _He had to be if he'd allowed a man to actually touch him, let alone kiss him_. Rukia snarled at the ceiling, hot tears sliding down her face and sheer hatred clogging her throat.

 _Fucking prick. Ass. Bastard_.

Renji had dumped her just to go back to...Ichigo, leaving her alone and miserable on Christmas. _He didn't even care that she was gone. He was too busy being gay with Ichigo_. She sniffled loudly, swiping angrily at her tears.

After seeing that, she'd gone back to Shirosaki. They'd made a deal and in exchange for his services, she had offered to pay him extra. The strange albino had agreed, and here she was, waiting for her plan to be put into motion.

Rukia sat up slowly, wiping the excess tears from her eyes, then standing to look in the full-length mirror across from the bathroom. She had lost weight, giving her already petite body an emaciated look that she tried to hide with over-sized clothing. Her dark-blue jeans bagged around her ankles, while her black t-shirt hung limply from her frame. Her black Converse sneakers had long since become eligible for the trash, sporting quarter-sized holes in each of the soles. She yanked a large, black hoodie from the hangers near the door and slipped her arms into it. She withdrew a black skully (hat) from the huge pocket stretched across the front of the hoodie, and pulled it onto her head and down over her ears. After securing the hat on her head, she zipped the hoodie all the way to the top before throwing the hood over her head. She glanced at the mirror again, haunted violet eyes staring back at her.

 _She could do this_.

She stuck her hands back in the large hoodie pocket, and fingered the cool metal of the little .22 she'd purchased from Shirosaki, sighing heavily.

 _She had to_.

She moved to the door, swinging it open slowly but determinedly, only to jump back in fright. A mountain of a man stood on the other side, grinning down at her and nearly making her wet herself. A black eyepatch hid his right eye, but did nothing to disguise the long, thin scar running down the entire length of the left side of his face.

 _She knew this man, though_. His hair was tamed this time, hanging down past his shoulders, as opposed to the last time she'd seen him when he wore his raven-colored hair in these ridiculous-looking spikes. He was incredibly huge, standing at around 6'6", body as thick as a barrel.

Although he was extremely intimidating with his long gray trench coat, with the collar turned upwards to fend off the cold from outside, and black Timberland construction boots, the man beside him nearly sent her into cardiac arrest.

His long, equally dark, raven-colored hair hung down his back, while his attire was much more conservative than his companion's. He wore a navy-blue pea coat, black slacks and expensive-looking, leather dress shoes. His hands were tucked into the pockets of his coat, and his stoic mask of a face betrayed nothing.

Rukia backed away another few steps, her heart stuttering in her chest, but the shorter of the two men followed her into the hotel room, dark eyes locked with her own.

 _Nii-sama_.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_Christmas Day_

_December 2008_

_I smoke, I drank_

_I'm supposed to stop, but I can't_

_I'm a dog, I love hoes_

_And I'm addicted to money, cars and clothes_

Shirosaki nodded his head to the beat of the song, completely agreeing with the lyrics. _Oh, except for the stopping part. That shit wasn't happening_. His pale hand gripped the steering wheel of his black, 2009 BMW 745Li, thumb drumming against the leather structure. A cigarette hung precariously from the corner of his mouth as he cruised the fairly empty streets.

He hadn't really expected the people of Karakura to be out and about on Christmas, even though most of the celebrating had been done the day before. Shirosaki expected the fuckers to still be in bed making their lovers' hearts go "doki doki" and shit. _What a waste of fucking time_.

He never wasted more time than was necessary with his bitches - male or female. He'd fuck em, then kick em out like they hadn't paid the rent. He never caught feelings and you'd rarely catch him with the same bitch twice. He was like a bull that way; once he'd fucked em, they lost their appeal. Shirosaki chuckled as he came to a stop at a red light.

 _Although his last bitch had been worth a pretty penny_. As a matter of fact, she was the reason he was even in this shit-hole of a town at the moment. She'd paid him a pretty grip of around two million yen and promised him another two million after the job was done.

 _Fuck, that was a lotta bread_.

He reached down into the cupholder and lifted the small, clunky glass, containing three fingers of brandy, up to his lips for a quick sip before the light changed. Once it did, he eased the glass back into place and continued to cruise.

Shirosaki had been given a picture, name, and two addresses to find his target. Zangetsu didn't approve of doing hitman jobs, but hell, Shiro didn't give a rat's ass about his reputation, as long as the money was right. His partner was a bit on the older, more cautious, side of things, while he himself enjoyed walking on the wild side. However, in order to do as he pleased and still keep the aid of the old man, he'd kept the shade-wearing man in the dark. _Made things easier that way_.

He pulled into a parking space several blocks from one of the addresses he'd been given and slowly emerged from his car. Locking it up, he started down the street at a brisk walk, tugging on the collar to his black hoodie and making sure it was zipped all the way to the top.

 _Shit, it was freezing. He hated winter_.

His black sweats barely kept him warm against the biting wind sweeping through the empty streets, and his sneakers were more for looking good rather than practicality. He threw his hood over his head, careful to hide his ash-white hair as he drew nearer to the address on the paper.

Flashing lights halted his progress, inverted eyes narrowing suspiciously. As he crept closer to the building his target was said to live in, he noticed the lights were from an ambulance and several fire trucks; not cop cars like he'd first thought. He felt for the handle of his silver and black .380, tucked into the waistband of his sweats, and once he was reassured that it was pressed snugly against his abdomen, he sidled up to an onlooker.

"'Scuze me, miss, ya know wha' happened here?" He asked the short, blonde woman.

She jumped in fright at the sight of his eyes, even though he was smiling cheerfully. Sighing inwardly, he held the grin in place while she determined whether he was safe to talk to or not. Her thoughts seemed to flash across her face like images on a projection screen, the last one registering as hesitant acceptance.

"There was a false fire alarm. They thought someone was hurt inside, that's why the ambulance is there," she stated in a quiet tone.

Any other place and Shiro would've made her another of his conquests. _However, now definitely wasn't the time for play_. His golden irises, anchored in black sclera, scanned the surrounding lot, looking for his target. Several seconds later, the unmistakable hair appeared on his radar and he grinned wolfishly.

_Target acquired._

_He always did enjoy a challenge_.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_Christmas Day_

_December 2008_

"Ichi, what the hell? We're gonna be late," he grumbled, slightly annoyed with his orange-haired boyfriend.

"I'm almost done! Don't fuckin' rush me just 'cuz you happened to finish first this time!"

Grimmjow growled under his breath, cursing the fact that Ichigo was right. Normally, he was the one that took all day to get ready, but today, he was in such a good mood and eager to get to their destination. He'd dressed in a form-fitting, red and white, horizontally striped, v-neck hoodie with a form-fitting white t-shirt underneath it, light-blue jeans with a black leather belt, and red, white and black Pro-Keds sneakers. A red, black and white New Era fitted cap rested over his electric blue hair, and a white G-shock watch adorned his left wrist.

 _He looked good, thank you very fuckin' much_.

Isshin had invited everyone over for dinner that day rather than the one before, because he'd tried to compensate for anyone that may have had plans. Him and Ichigo hadn't had plans; they'd just stayed in the orange head's apartment, lazing about, watching movies, eating and just enjoying each other's company.

Grimmjow remembered utterly failing at making a bowl of microwave popcorn, the bag reduced to a smoldering pile of stink. Ichigo had found it absolutely hilarious, teasing him mercilessly, until he'd lost his temper and told the prick to make it himself. His boyfriend had emerged from the kitchen carrying a perfectly popped bowl of popcorn, making him simmer with frustration.

It had turned out alright though, all things considered. What had started out as an argument, ended up as a toe-curling blowjob on the couch from Ichigo. Grimmjow licked his lips as he remembered. That had led to some heart-stopping sex, where Ichigo had again told - or rather screamed - his love for him.

 _God, hearing that had caught him off guard and hurled him into a spine-bending orgasm_.

Grimmjow felt like such a coward. He still hadn't told Ichigo how he felt about him, but he planned to change that. He had decided last night that today he would tell Ichigo he loved him. That he was the first person Grimmjow had ever loved romantically.

Just then, his phone went off in his pocket, the ringtone blaring the intro of Guns 'n' Roses's "Welcome to the Jungle". Sighing exasperatedly, he pulled the device from his pocket and answered, "Yeah, Pop?"

"Gaki, weren't ya s'posed to be here already? Isshin's 'bout to have kittens, claiming his darling sons would rather have sex than eat with their families. Why would ya wanna put me through this alone?" Alric huffed over the line, causing a large, feral grin to split Grimmjow's face in two.

"Heh, that does sound like a good id-"

"Grimmjow."

"Fine, fine. We're comin'. I'm just waitin' on Ichi's slow ass," Grimmjow grumbled sullenly.

"Hurry up!" Alric barked before ending the connection.

Grimmjow snapped his phone shut, and headed for the small bathroom to see what was taking his boyfriend so damned long. As soon as he stepped into the room, his brow furrowed in confusion.

_What in the world?_

"Babe, what the fuck're ya doin'?" he asked, bright blue eyebrow arching.

Ichigo grunted, throwing him a death glare over his shoulder before turning back to his task, "What's it look like, genius?"

Ichigo had his dark-blue jeans unbuttoned and unzipped, while his dark-blue and white, long-sleeved t-shirt was held up, revealing his abdomen and the fine trail of pale orange hair that disappeared underneath his gray boxer briefs.

"Well, smartass, I'm not really sure," Grimmjow snapped.

Ichigo blew out a frustrated breath, "I'm seeing how much room I got in these jeans before I go eating everything in sight."

Grimmjow bit his lip and tried his hardest to suppress the crow of laughter threatening to erupt from his chest, but...it was futile. Gripping the doorframe, he doubled over with laughter, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

"WAAAHAHAHA! AHA! AHA! HAAHAHA! HA-OOF!" his hysterical laughter was cut off by an abrupt punch to his stomach. "F-fuck, Ichi! S'not my fault! Ya sounded like a chick, oh my god!" he gasped through the pain reverberating through his gut.

"Shutup! I wanna be comfortable, and I can't if my jeans are too - just shut the fuck up!" Ichigo shouted, face flushed with embarrassment, as he fixed his clothes and stormed from the bathroom.

Grimmjow followed, still wincing slightly from the hit to his unsuspecting abdomen. _Fucking hell, his berry head hit fucking hard_. Ichigo had just slipped into a gray hoodie and was in the process of pulling on his all gray, high-top Nike Air Force One sneakers when a shrieking alarm blared from the hallways of the apartment building.

The younger man snapped his head up at the ear-splitting sound, then casually shrugged his shoulders, "Eh, at least we're already leaving."

Grimmjow followed Ichigo out, flicking the lights off on his way, as they made for the stairs, pushing through the heavy, metal door that housed them. He grinned at Ichigo, who was trotting down the stairs in front of him, smelling strangely like cotton candy and cinnamon toothpaste.

 _Downright fucking edible_.

When they reached the lobby, there was a fire truck followed by an ambulance, turning into the parking lot. Grimmjow raised a brow, "That was fast. Ya think someone got hurt?"

Ichigo shrugged, looking around with wide, chocolate-brown eyes, "I don't know." They gently pushed through the crowd leaving the lobby, and out to the lot.

 _Jesus Christ, these people were like scurrying roaches_.

Grimmjow grabbed Ichigo's hand as they moved towards his car through the sea of people. The crowd grew thinner the further away they went, making it easier to get to where they wanted to go. Just as they were passing the ambulance, a sound like a gunshot cracked over the noise of the people, causing absolute pandemonium.

"Shit! What the hell?" Grimmjow shouted.

Holding tight to Ichigo's hand, he started running for cover, pulling the smaller man along with him. There was another shot right as they reached his car, and Ichigo stumbled as they rounded the vehicle, then lowered themselves to the ground on the other side. Grimmjow's heart was racing and adrenaline flooded his system.

He was still holding Ichigo's hand, as he peeked around the front of his car to see if he could possibly see what the fuck was going on. _Who the fuck had been shooting?_ People were screaming and scrambling around, children crying and clinging to their parents. _Complete mayhem_.

Suddenly, Ichigo's hand began to slip from his own, but Grimmjow thought nothing of it, until he heard a wet cough coming from his boyfriend. Whipping his head around, dread sliding over his skin like ice water, his breath caught in his throat at the sight of Ichigo gripping a spot on the right side of his chest, blood leaking between his fingers and from the corner of his mouth as he gasped weakly for air.

_No!_

_No, no, no, NO!_

Grimmjow grasped Ichigo's slumping shoulders and gently lowered him to the ground, before stripping out of his hoodie and pressing the material over the wound. His whole body was trembling uncontrollably, and tears pricked the backs of his eyes. He didn't even feel the icy bite of the winter wind.

"Ichi," he whimpered, "please, don't do this! Please!"

Ichigo coughed again, blood seeping from the corner of his mouth, tears creeping down the sides of his face and blurring his terrified brown eyes. The orange head glanced over at him, gurgling as if he was trying to speak, but Grimmjow shook his head, panic and fear clogging his throat.

"Don't fuckin' try to talk!" he almost screamed. "HELLLLP! SOMEBODY HELP!" This he did scream, voice breaking.

Every semblance of control he'd previously been holding onto withered and died when Ichigo whined in pain. Pressing down on the wound and lowering his head, tears seeped from his shut eyes as his nose started to run.

 _Ichigo's blood was everywhere_. The ground, his hands, his hoodie, his t-shirt, his jeans...it was making him nauseous. He had never been this fucking scared in his life.

_His Ichi had been fucking shot._

_Oh god_.

"HELLLLP! PLEEEASE!" Grimmjow screamed again.

Suddenly, a man in a uniform edged around the car, eyes widening at the sight of Ichigo. He backed up a step and glanced over his shoulder, "Yusuke! Over here! Bring the spine board, 14 gauge needles and one way valve!" The man rushed to Ichigo's side, "Excuse me, sir, let me take a look."

Grimmjow scooted backwards, eyes wide as another paramedic rushed to Ichigo's side, this one carrying a long, yellow board and a large, black duffel bag. He watched as the men worked quickly to get his boyfriend breathing properly, because apparently, Ichigo's lung had been pierced.

When they lifted Ichigo onto the yellow board, strapping him down, and carrying him towards the ambulance, he hurriedly scrambled to his feet, following close behind them. Once everyone was loaded up, the sirens shrieked to life, and the ambulance rocketed towards Karakura General Hospital.

Grimmjow was in shock. All he could do was hope and pray to all the kami that existed that Ichigo would make it. The paramedics wore grim expressions, scaring the shit out of him and making his heart falter every ten seconds. _What if Ichigo didn't survive?_

 _Oh god_.

His chest constricted and his stomach rolled. Hands shaking, he clutched Ichigo's pale right hand. _He couldn't live without Ichigo at his side. He didn't want to. Ichigo had become too important to him_. His eyes filled with tears again as he studied his boyfriend's ashen face. It was then that he realized something.

 _He hadn't even told Ichigo he loved him_.

Grimmjow's chest heaved as he broke down crying.


	19. My Life Would Suck Without You

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

_People say "no regrets" and "guilt only causes stress" all the time, but regret and guilt are involuntary emotions._

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_December 2008_

"Why won't you kiss me, Shiro?"

Shirosaki scoffed, turning to face the voluptuous blonde propped against the headboard of the motel room bed. She was wearing what some would call a sexy pout, but to Shiro, it made her look like a fucking brat.

_Was she fucking serious?_

"Are ya fuckin' serious?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" she returned, rather seriously.

Shiro rose from his perch on the side of the bed, strolled to a chair situated in the corner of the room, where he'd tossed his jeans, and reached into the pocket for his pack of smokes. After withdrawing the pack and his lighter, then shaking free a cigarette, he moved to the window, cracking it a bit before lighting up. He took a long pull and exhaled before turning to the blonde once more.

Her brows were furrowed with lust, confusion and anger, and Shiro found the sight to be hilarious. He was still stark naked after their little romp between the scratchy motel sheets, and it was obvious that she had been admiring his body.

 _He knew he looked good. Hell, he'd never been accused of being modest. He was 6 feet even and 150 lbs.; quite frankly, the sexiest albino alive. From his ash-white hair, pale skin, and inverted eyes to the sixteen tattoos covering different sections of his muscular body, he looked good enough to eat_.

"I don't kiss bitches. Look, don't start thinkin' I actually like ya. Yer an ok screw, but what ya lack in the sack, ya make up with yer hefty bank account," he explained callously.

Clear green eyes filled with hostility as the bedsheets were thrown back, revealing a curvy form. She surged from the bed and stalked to the tiny bathroom, pausing at the door, "Fuck you, Shirosaki!"

Shiro cackled loudly, "Jeez, Hal, yer so needy."

The bathroom door slammed shut, and seconds later the shower squeaked to life. Shiro turned to study the movement outside the motel room, knowing that last night had been the last time he would fuck the buxom blonde, Halibel. Truthfully, he had completely lost interest in her after the first time they'd screwed, but she was rich, and had given him an offer he hadn't been able to refuse.

Finishing the cigarette, he flicked the butt through the cracked window and sauntered over to his clothes, quickly dressing himself. After grabbing the large, brown paper bag filled with yen from a small, round table, he gave the bathroom door a mock salute and left the motel room. On the way to his car, he thought about what had happened the day before.

Halibel had asked him to kill an orange-haired kid named Ichigo Kurosaki a while back. He hadn't asked her why, figuring it was none of his business to begin with, and she hadn't offered any reasons for her request either. Shiro hadn't hesitated after hearing the price she was willing to pay, and had gone about doing the job.

Hal had given him two million yen before-hand as incentive, with the promise of another two million yen once the job was done. _Shiro hadn't needed to be told twice_.

Hal had also made the job a lot easier by providing him with all the information he'd needed about the target, and after scoping the guy out for about a week, he'd finally found the perfect opportunity to strike. _And strike he had_. Shiro had hidden in the shadows of the boy's apartment building, where no one had been paying attention, and shot the orange-haired kid in the chest.

 _The kid wouldn't be able to survive a shot like that_.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_December 2008_

"N-Nii-sama...w-wha-" Rukia started, thoroughly baffled at the strange turn of events that caused her older brother to appear at her motel room.

Byakuya Kuchiki didn't say a word. He only stared at her, _through_ her, making her feel like he was assessing her very soul. His giant companion moved silently into the room, positioning himself in front of the door and folding his thick arms across his wide chest.

Rukia swallowed convulsively. The silence was more intimidating, more frightening than anything her raven-haired brother could have said, and it made her shift uneasily.

_Why was Nii-sama there?_

Byakuya continued to stare, eyes hardening with each passing second, sending bitter bile leaping to Rukia's throat. Finally, the stoic man spoke, eyes never leaving hers, "Did you think I was unaware of your actions, Rukia?"

She flinched drastically and took a few steps backwards, eyes widening with fear, as panic knocked the breath from her lungs.

_What the hell?_

"Wh-wha-"

Byakuya cut across her sternly, deep baritone voice incredibly cold, "Do you think me an idiot, Rukia? That I would not know that you were stealing from me? How foolish."

Silence hung in the air like dust motes, clinging to every available surface and making the atmosphere ridiculously tense. Her mind was in a frenzy. Thoughts and emotions whirling and ping-ponging around in her brain, probably looking very much like electrons spinning around the protons and neutrons of an atom.

"I-I, I..."

 _What the hell should she say? Sorry for stealing from you, Nii-sama? Fuck no_.

Rukia's face hardened. If she was going to jail, then so be it. She wasn't about to apologize or become some sniveling coward, no matter how much she wanted to. Her only regret was that she'd been stopped before she could kill that orange-haired bastard that had so thoroughly ruined her life.

She straightened her back and returned her older brother's intense glare, barely resisting the urge to shudder from the immense aura surrounding the man. Byakuya arched a brow and gave an infinitesmal smirk.

"Oh? What is this? Have you finally found a shred of courage?" he taunted, voice a low monotone.

Rukia sneered, "I have more courage than you know, Nii-sama."

Byakuya gave a dry, derisive chuckle that sounded more like a scoff, "Lies."

Rukia bristled angrily as she stepped forward, clenching her hands into tight fists. _Just who the fuck did he think he was?_ Rage overwhelmed her tiny frame, so much so, that she began to shake with it, teeth bared in a feral snarl.

Brother or not, he had no right to ridicule her in such a way, especially not after he threw her out of their home and basically disowned her. He no longer held the right to comment on anything she did, said or even planned to do. Rukia opened her mouth to protest, but Byakuya beat her to the punch.

"Rukia, you are a coward. A lowly coward, blaming your problems on everyone other than yourself. You are slowly self-destructing and I was angry enough to allow you to do so, but now, you're no longer just self-destructing, you're trying to take someone else along with you. I can not - I _will_ not allow you to do such a thing, foolish sister!"

Rukia's eyes widened in astonishment. _Byakuya Kuchiki, her infernally stoic, uptight and haughty older brother had lost his cool, actually raising his voice. And over her, no less_. What was more, it seemed that he was aware of not only her stealing, if his words were any indication.

_How the hell had he found out?_

She had no idea what to react to first. She was angry about him calling her a coward, angry that he would presume to know what she'd been through in the past few years, angry that he was judging her, but...she was also in a state of shock.

_Had he been worried?_

_Impossible_.

Instead of giving herself away by agreeing to anything Byakuya had just stated, she decided to feel around to figure out exactly what he knew, "What are you talking about?" she asked innocently.

"Do not pretend to be dense!" Byakuya immediately snapped, eyes shining with a fire Rukia had never before witnessed. "This is a serious matter! Have you taken leave of your senses, girl? You-"

"Byakuya."

The deep, stern order had been issued calmly from the huge man standing in front of the room door. His eyes flashed for only a second, but it was enough to stop her brother's incensed rant. Rukia stared at the tall man, wondering what was going through his mind at the moment, and why, for the love of all things holy, he was currently glaring at her.

"Look, kid, we know what ya've been up to. Ya've been rather sloppy with yer tracks and, frankly, I'm surprised ya haven't been arrested yet. Messing around with someone like Shirosaki is dangerous as hell, not ta mention, fuckin' stupid," the man's rumbling voice filled the silent room.

Rukia's eyes widened yet again. _Just how much did they know?_

As if reading her mind, the giant continued, "We know everything. The fight ya had with yer ex, that red-haired guy, the way ya took off and started sleepin' in the subway, then, how ya bought that gun yer hiding in yer hoodie pocket with the money ya stole from Byakuya from that idiot, Shirosaki. Lastly, ya went and made a deal with the devil ta get 'im ta teach ya how ta shoot the damned thing. Yer gettin' reckless and it's gotta stop."

Rukia was speechless. _They really did know EVERYTHING. Well, everything as far as facts were concerned, but they knew nothing of her feelings. Nothing of why exactly she had gone as far as she had. Nothing of her broken heart and ruined dreams. Her ruined life. They knew nothing about THAT_. Just as she opened her mouth to tell them so, another thought occurred to her.

"How do you know all of that?" she asked, curiosity overriding her shock and anger.

The man gave her an all-together frightening and menacing grin, teeth appearing serrated and lethal, "I'm a bounty hunter, shorty. Findin' people is my job."

"Wh-wha?" she sputtered, utterly astounded.

_A bounty hunter? No fucking way!_

"Rukia, it is time you stopped this madness. I will not allow you to destroy yourself over something so foolish." Byakuya stated, his voice no longer raised, but no less stern.

Rukia stared at him in disbelief before suddenly blurting,"F-foolish? FOOLISH? You have NO FUCKING IDEA what I've been through, so don't stand there acting so high and mighty, _Nii-sama_! You have no idea what it's like to have your heart...ripped out, stomped and then spit on all because of...because of..." her voice trailed off as tears streamed down her cheeks.

_Her brother didn't understand and he never would. Her life had been turned upside down and inside out at the hands of one person. Ichigo Kurosaki. He'd stolen the love of her life, then ruined the man, making him shun and reject her AFTER she'd abandoned her friends and family for him. Then Renji left her, only to return to that orange-haired bastard's side. There was no justice in the world, so she had planned to dispense a bit of her own, but now, even that was being destroyed._

_It wasn't fair!_

Rukia covered her face with her hands and slowly began sinking to the floor, but before she could make contact with the rough carpet, strong arms wrapped around her waist and drew her close to a broad chest. Absolute shock stiffened her muscles as she inhaled a smell that was almost second-nature to her; _cinnamon and jasmine tea_. Sobs shook her body forcefully as she clung desperately to her older brother's coat.

_Why? Why was he doing this? Why did he even care?_

"Rukia," Byakuya uttered softly, "I don't understand what you are experiencing, I will admit that, but...I will not let you suffer this alone anymore. I was furious with you when your behavior towards someone gay was revealed. I felt like I had failed in your upbringing, as though somehow it was my fault that you hated homosexuals. I thought you knew about my sexual preference and that that was your way of acting out against it. But...but you are my younger sister, the only family I have left, and I believe it is way past time that we talked."

Rukia sagged against him, but was still unwilling to believe that Byakuya actually cared about her. _That he wanted to talk to her. He wanted to...help her._

 _Preposterous_.

"But you hate me," she whimpered into the folds of his coat.

Byakuya stiffened slightly, then just as quickly his muscles relaxed, "That is not true. I was angry with you."

"You've never hugged me like this. Y-you've never spoken kindly to me; you were always so cold and distant. I find it hard to believe that you don't hate me, especially after...after..." again her voice trailed off, as words failed her and her throat clogged with an unfamiliar emotion.

"Do you think I blame you for making a mistake? Of course, I reacted rather irrationally, but we are all human and thus prone to imperfect behavior," Byakuya explained. "Come home, Rukia. We will sort this through."

She continued to lean against her brother's chest, soaking up the warmth and comfort he was uncharacteristically offering. _What should she do? Hell, what could she do? Although Nii-sama was offering a truce, she was sure he wouldn't hesitate to drag her, kicking and screaming, from the dingy motel room and back to their home. He'd even brought backup in the form of the giant bounty hunter whose name she still didn't know_.

She peeked over at the now grinning man and furrowed her brows, "What's your name?" she asked, trying to make her voice sound gruff, but failing miserably.

"Kenpachi Zaraki. Call me Ken," he answered. She nodded timidly, and stepped out of Byakuya's arms.

"So, wh-what does this mean?" she inquired, still not certain of the situation.

Kenpachi's grin widened and sent chills careening down her back, "It means ya go home and I don't gotta take ya ta the cops," he supplied. "Oh yeah, ya mind handin' that gun a'yers over?"

Rukia blushed and hung her head in shame, as she dug into the large hoodie pocket for the small weapon. Byakuya laid a hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently, another unusual act for him. Once she wrapped her hand around the tiny pistol, she quickly withdrew it and passed it to Kenpachi.

Oddly, a wave of relief washed over her and a huge weight fell from her shoulders. She was still angry as hell about what happened with Renji, and Ichigo's involvement with it all, but for now, she would focus on finding herself.

XOXOXO

_Karakura General Hospital_

_December 2008_

_Twelve hours. Twelve ridiculously long and excruciating hours had passed since Ichigo had been brought to the hospital and taken into surgery. Twelve hours with no news, no indications of any progress...nothing._

_Grimmjow was losing his fucking mind_.

Once the ambulance had arrived, nurses and the paramedics had swept Ichigo away, not allowing him to follow, and forcing him to sit in the waiting room. His chest ached and his heart galloped behind his ribs ruthlessly.

_Ichigo._

_Ichi._

_Fuck_.

Grimmjow wanted to be selfish and claim he was in more pain than anyone else, but he couldn't. He glanced over at Isshin and Ichigo's two younger sisters sitting a few seats away. They were huddled together, clinging to the elder Kurosaki with tear tracks on their young faces. Isshin's face was drawn and exhausted, but he kept his composure for the sake of his daughters.

Grimmjow had sent his Pop a text message while he'd still been in the ambulance with Ichigo, and only minutes after being sent to the waiting room, everyone arrived. Isshin had not only invited himself and his Pop over for dinner, but all of his and Ichigo's friends as well. It was to be a really large affair and Grimmjow had been looking forward to it.

Bandana Boy and Yor sat in the corner of the room, beside them sat Hirako and Stark, and beside them Renji and Shuuhei sat leaning against one another, Shuuhei sleeping while Renji stayed awake, face creased with worry. Ichigo's other friends Tatsuki, Inoue, Ishida and Chad were on the opposite side of the waiting room, faces equally solemn.

Grimmjow sat next to his Pop, the older blue-haired man massaging his neck every so often, trying to release the tension gathered there. Alric hadn't looked that worried in a very long time. As a matter of fact, the last time he remembered seeing that expression on his Pop's face was when Grimmjow'd been hit by a car when he was only nine, breaking his right arm.

The waiting room was silent as a chapel and the atmosphere was incredibly tense, fear and worry lacing the air. Grimmjow's clothes were covered with his boyfriend's blood, but he'd refused to go home and change, for fear of missing any news of Ichigo's condition.

 _He was so scared, so worried_. His chest tightened and ached whenever his mind involuntarily supplied him with those frightening images of Ichigo coughing up blood, gasping for breath, and his eyes...

Ichigo's nut-brown eyes had been filled to the brim with terror and tears. Grimmjow wished he could've done something - anything - to ease his lover's pain and fear.

 _Fuck_.

He leaned forward in his seat, resting his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands. _Ichigo didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve to be fighting for his life, and especially not on a day that was meant for celebration. He didn't deserve not knowing how Grimmjow felt about him_.

 _Shit, he felt awful_. Regret consumed him, eating him from the inside out, as guilt nagged at the corners of his mind. All he kept thinking was how he could've done more to prevent Ichigo from being shot. _He could've run faster after hearing the gunshots, he could've shielded Ichigo better...something._

_And now his Ichi was..._

Grimmjow shook his head slightly, refusing to think negatively. _He couldn't help it though. All that blood, the location of the wound...Jesus_.

Suddenly, a doctor wearing a white lab coat and teal hospital scrubs trudged down the hall towards them. Grimmjow brightened, lifting his head from his hands and silently praying for good news. His Pop placed a large hand on his shoulder, squeezing reassuringly as the doctor finally stood before them. Isshin lifted his head, noticed the doctor standing before him and quickly stood, Grimmjow following suit.

"Kurosaki Ichigo's family?" the young man asked softly. His dark eyes seemed sleepy and his dark hair hung just past his ears. He also seemed quite young to be a doctor.

Isshin nodded and took a step forward, "I am Isshin Kurosaki. Ichigo is my son. Please, how is he?"

The doctor sighed and lowered his gaze, making Grimmjow's heart completely stop beating for several seconds, "Kurosaki-san, wh-while Ichigo was in surgery we were able to remove the bullet and repair his lung, but - but he'd lost a lot of blood. H-his heart stopped."

The tiny doctor paused for breath, but within that short space of time, everyone in the waiting room managed to take that last statement the wrong way. Isshin's face paled drastically as his eyes widened, and the lighter-haired Kurosaki twin immediately started weeping, while the dark-haired one rubbed her back comfortingly.

Hirako gasped loudly, mouth hanging open as Stark slipped an arm around his shoulders, and Renji's eyes widened comically as his mouth opened and closed, no words forming. The orange-haired girl named Inoue turned towards the glasses-wearing Ishida, silently crying, while the girl named Tatsuki and the giant named Chad, sat in stunned silence.

Grimmjow, on the other hand, felt like he himself had been shot. He frowned, heart hiccupping behind his ribs as he tried to digest what he'd just heard. Fortunately, the doctor continued before he had a chance to completely go insane.

"We resuscitated him, but the lack of blood as well as lack of oxygen has caused him to fall into a coma. The surgery was a success, but whether Ichigo survives or not will be based solely on him. We can't be sure with these types of situations. He's currently in the ICU (Intensive Care Unit), and will probably be there until he begins to recover - if he recovers at all," the doctor spoke softly, voice laced with remorse and professionalism.

"Can I see him?" Isshin asked quietly. The doctor nodded.

"Only for a few minutes."

Grimmjow watched Isshin follow the petite doctor to a set of elevators in complete astonishment. _He felt like he'd been side-swiped_.

_Fuck._

_Fuck._

_He couldn't breathe_. His throat was clogged, his heart was racing, his body was trembling, and his chest felt like an elephant had decided to use him as a picnic bench. His legs were so close to giving out on him, but he refused to stay put. _He didn't want to stand or sit, he needed to move._

_He didn't want to see his Ichi lying in a hospital bed totally unresponsive and probably dying._

_Shit_.

Slowly, painfully, he moved down the hall in the opposite direction towards the exit. _His brain was so cruel. Now was not the time to supply him with images of Ichigo smiling at him, beautiful brown eyes sparkling with mirth and crinkling in the corners, or of Ichigo kissing him, laughing with him, hugging him and holding him at night. Ichigo being pretend-angry with him, scowling and pouting adorably, Ichigo moaning and writhing underneath him...Ichigo telling him he loved him_.

Grimmjow paused, raising and leaning his right arm against the pristine white wall, his left hand grasping his shirt right over his heart, as his eyes squeezed shut and his teeth clenched together.

_Oh god._

_The pain._

_Ichi_.

Grimmjow tried to forcefully swallow the lump that had risen in his throat to no avail. His mouth involuntarily turned down at the corners, and tears stabbed the backs of his eyes mercilessly.

_Oh god._

_He might never get to see Ichigo do any of those things again. He might never hear him say he loved him. Ichigo might never know that Grimmjow loved him back_.

He tried to continue moving, tried to put one foot in front of the other, but his body rebelled and wouldn't fucking budge. Instead, he found himself gasping as the sharp pain in his chest twisted and ached again.

"Ichi," he whispered to himself. He was oblivious to the looks of worry and sympathy he was receiving from his and Ichigo's friends. Guilt, grief and regret had taken a hold of him, consuming him, making him unrecognizable even to himself. "Ichi."

Grimmjow's legs slowly gave out, as he slid down the wall, trying his hardest to stay standing, but the ungodly pain, the absolutely agonizing pain had rendered him helpless. He landed on his knees, his hands falling in his lap where they gradually balled into tight fists.

 _Fuck, he couldn't breathe. It felt like someone was squeezing his heart and lungs bare-handed_.

He hadn't even noticed the tears freely pouring down his cheeks, all he was aware of was the aching pain that left him breathless. Another image played before him. Ichigo running his hands through Grimmjow's hair when he thought he was asleep.

 _Fucking hell_.

Grimmjow bent forward, lowering his forehead to the tiled floor, a loud, unexpected sob bursting free from his chest. He clutched the spot over his heart, fingers twisting the material of his t-shirt desperately.

_Please, stop._

_Please._

_He couldn't deal with this kind of hurt, this kind of ache_.

"Ichi, I'm so sorry!" he gasped, nose running. "I coulda done somethin'! Somethin'! Oh god, I'm fuckin' sorry!"

A hand on his back did nothing to calm him. He was so overtaken with grief and pain, he didn't even realize the hand belonged to his Pop until the man spoke.

"Grimmjow," his oyaji's deep voice rumbled gently.

Grimmjow's shoulders shook uncontrollably as his hands fisted in his hair, his forehead still kissing the floor, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he chanted. The words seemed to ease the pain somewhat, but not nearly enough to completely soothe him.

"Grimmjow," his Pop tried again, "come here, son."

His Pop hefted his seemingly lifeless body from the floor and pulled him into a bear hug. The rest of his sanity disappeared, and Grimmjow violently sobbed into his Pop's shoulder, clutching the older man's shirt, words coming out as hitched breaths and hiccups.

"Oh god, Pop! He doesn't know! I-Ichi doesn't know! I never got a chance to tell him how I feel! I never told him I love him!"

His Pop only held him tighter, both men still on their knees in the middle of the hospital hallway, but neither of them caring.

Grimmjow was beside himself.

_What had he and Ichigo done to deserve this?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, everything medical may not be accurate.


	20. Patience Is A Virtue

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_February 2009_

Rukia squinted at the textbook before her, growling under her breath as her eyes flew over the tiny print. She hadn't been to a class in ages and, frankly, wasn't looking forward to it, but nii-sama, er, nii-san had demanded she attend. There would be no idleness on her part, so, in short, she'd had no choice but to enroll at the University.

Her major, History, was something that took her mind off of the hurt and anger that had previously been plaguing and consuming her. She was still pissed, but things were slowly getting better. She knew Renji could have handled their situation a lot better, but she was learning not to blame him for it. She was also learning not to blame Ichigo. He hadn't conspired against her the way she had thought for so long. He was just as much a victim in the situation as she, and with that realization, came slow acceptance. She wasn't quite ready to be his bosom buddy or anything, but she understood that everything that had happened to her wasn't his fault.

Rukia really didn't know what to do about Renji and the feelings she still held for him, though. She supposed it was time to overcome them, but it was so incredibly hard. She'd loved the red head for years and letting go was the toughest thing she'd had to do in a long time.

_What to do?_

The library at the University was dead silent, the clock on the wall over the huge entrance stating the time as 8:45 pm. Rukia sat back in her seat at the small, rectangular wooden table and rubbed her eyes. _She was exhausted._ She had been researching for a paper coming up the next week for her English class and the going was slow and excruciatingly boring. She really didn't want to write about Macbeth because she didn't understand Shakespeare. It was like Greek to her and she didn't see why English felt the need to study such things.

"Ughh, this is ridiculous," she sighed, massaging her temples with her fingertips.

"You don't like Shakespeare?" a deep voice inquired, startling the hell out of her.

Rukia whirled around in her seat to face the owner of said voice and her eyebrows raised in appreciation. The man standing behind her was extremely handsome. He was tall, lean, but muscular, had black hair, coal-colored eyes and a wide, friendly grin.

"U-uh, no, not really," she breathed.

The man took a seat beside her at the table and leaned towards the open textbook before her. He smelled really good, like warm apple pie. His eyebrows went up as he read aloud the title, "Ahh, Macbeth, huh? 'So foul and fair a day, I have not seen!' It's a pretty cool story."

Rukia wrinkled her nose and shook her head, "If you say so."

The man chuckled good-naturedly and held a strong-looking hand out, "I'm Kaien. What's your name?"

"R-Rukia."

"Rukia? Nice to meet you, Rukia. So, if you don't like Shakespeare, why are you burning the midnight oil just to read Macbeth?"

Rukia chuckled derisively, "Certainly not because I like it. I have a paper due next week on this story, but I don't understand Shakespeare at all. It's like alien technology to me."

Kaien tossed his head back and laughed heartily, his dark eyes shimmering and crinkling in the corners. His smile was huge and he had dimples. He was very attractive and Rukia felt her face growing warm from her observations.

 _This wasn't supposed to be happening._ Renji was the only guy she'd ever been attracted or drawn to and to feel that with another person was definitely disconcerting. Rukia sat patiently, admiring the raven-haired male at her side, while his laughter subsided.

"Well, that's fair enough," he started, an amused gleam brightening his onyx orbs, "Shakespeare isn't really for everyone. I guess you could say it's an acquired taste."

"I guess."

Silence descended and Rukia could tell Kaien had more to say, but was probably unsure of how to say it. She peered at him from the corner of her eye and felt her breath hitch when she noticed the tall man watching her carefully, his expression suddenly serious. She swallowed nervously, shifting in her seat as she averted her gaze.

_What was he thinking?_

"Well, I'll let you get back to work, Rukia. It was great chatting with you," he finally stated as he rose from his seat, holding out a large hand once more.

Rukia nodded and tentatively shook the offered hand, "Y-yeah, it was nice talking to you, too," she said quietly.

"See you around."

With that, Kaien sauntered towards the entrance and disappeared out of the double doors. Once the man was gone, she breathed deeply.

_That had been entirely too intense._

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_February 2009_

Renji felt his heart leap into his throat. Shuuhei was leaning towards him, his lips mere inches from his own, but Renji wasn't quite ready for what the dark-haired DJ had on his mind. Sure, they'd kissed before and that in itself had been a huge step for him, but he could tell that Shuuhei was ready for more.

The man was patient, but also...a man. Each time they kissed, the intensity swelled and increased to frightening proportions and Renji would find himself backing away, tensing up and easing out of the man's embrace. Shuuhei never complained, but Renji could tell the other man was getting tired of being pushed away. _Especially since he hadn't even told the DJ about his sordid past_.

Renji wanted to be honest with the man and tell him everything because, truth be told, he really liked Shuuhei. He was just afraid of being embarrassed and exposing a part of himself that he'd only just learned to deal with. On top of everything, his mind was still torn up about Ichigo.

 _Fuck_.

His friend had been shot on Christmas Day and things just hadn't been the same since. Ichigo was still in the hospital in a coma and Renji feared for the health of the strawberry's boyfriend, who hadn't said more than two words to anyone since the incident occurred.

Ichigo's father and sisters were holding up well, considering the circumstances. Isshin wasn't quite as cheerful as he used to be, Karin seemed even more morose and poor Yuzu would fall into random moments of depression and tears. Renji visited them often, just to check in and see how everyone was doing and was always faced with a facade of well-being. He felt bad for them, but oddly, he felt worse for Grimmjow.

The man hadn't been showing up at his club very often, but when he did, he locked himself inside his office the entire night. He wouldn't say more than a quiet "what's up" while passing through to his office and it seemed that no one knew how to reach him. Renji felt like even if someone did know how to reach him, what the hell would be said?

The blue-haired giant's face was always drawn and exhausted, dark rings under his dulled, blue eyes as if he hadn't slept in days. Everyone worried, but no one knew what to do. Grimmjow's father, Alric, was even at a loss. Renji just hoped the man would be ok, but most of all, he hoped Ichigo would come out of his coma soon, if at all.

He still couldn't believe someone had shot the strawberry. It wasn't as if Ichigo was a danger to anyone, so Renji supposed the guy just had rotten luck.

Shuuhei's soft, yet demanding lips brought Renji back to the present. The DJ had his fingers laced in Renji's loose hair, lightly massaging the scalp, while he slowly coaxed him to open his mouth. Renji sighed and let his hands settle on the shorter man's waist as Shuuhei pressed them backwards against the large, fluffy, indigo-hued comforter of his bed.

They were currently at his apartment, Shuuhei having dropped by on his day off. Las Noches didn't open on Mondays and Tuesdays, giving the employees a chance to relax during the week. Renji had just arrived home from work and received a text message from the DJ stating he would be over soon. They'd had dinner, Chinese take-out, and Renji had been in the process of changing into his sleepwear, when Shuuhei had entered his bedroom and gently pulled him down onto the bed.

Renji could tell the man was ready to move to the next level of their relationship, but as he'd stated earlier, he wasn't quite ready for that. Unohana-san encouraged him to talk to Shuuhei about his past and explain to him why he was so hesitant about moving forward, but that was easier said than done. _He wanted to tell the guy, but how could he possibly face him afterwards? How would Shuuhei react to his past?_

Renji didn't think the DJ would make fun of him or laugh about it, but what if Shuuhei shunned him? _What if he didn't want to be with him anymore because of all the fucked up things he'd done?_ He didn't want to risk losing one of the best things that had ever happened to him. Not when things were just starting to go well, minus the Ichigo being shot incident.

Shuuhei broke the languid kiss, only to trace Renji's jawline with his sinful tongue until he reached his neck, where he teasingly sucked. Renji gasped softly and unconsciously arched his back.

_Fuck, that was good._

Their bodies were pressed tightly together where their hips met and Shuuhei was gently grinding against him, rotating his hips in slow circles. It felt really good, but through the haze of pleasure, uncertainty rose, making his stomach roil uncomfortably.

Shuuhei had his large hands under Renji's white t-shirt, gradually inching his way towards the red head's nipples, when Renji lurched upwards, startling the DJ.

"Sh-Shuu, I'm-I'm not ready for this yet," he choked through the fearful clogging of his throat.

Shuuhei studied him for a moment, disappointment shining in those ebony depths, before he abruptly rose to his feet, leaving a dazed Renji lying on the bed. Renji levered himself to his elbows and watched as Shuuhei straightened his long-sleeved, green t-shirt.

"Renji, I don't know what's going on, but it's starting to feel like you don't want me. Everytime I go to touch you or kiss you anywhere other than your lips, you push me away. Is this what you want? Do you really want me, or are we just wasting our time?" the DJ asked in frustration as he pushed a hand through his spiky, dark hair.

Renji's tattooed brows flew to his hairline. _He hadn't meant to make the man think he didn't want him when in fact, it was the complete opposite. He really liked Shuuhei._

"N-no, it's nothing like that, Shuu! I just...I just-"

"Renji, ya gotta tell me somethin'! I don't get it! One minute, you're all into it and the next, you're shoving me away from you! What's it gonna be?"

Shuuhei stood in the doorway of Renji's bedroom, hands shoved deeply into the pockets of his dark-blue jeans as he glared down at him. Renji eased off the bed and slowly approached the upset DJ. Shuuhei tensed, but allowed Renji to proceed, eyes never leaving the red head for an instant.

"I like you, Shuu. I like you a lot, but...but...there are just some things you don't know about me that are making me hesitate," Renji stated, trying and failing miserably not to let his voice shake.

Shuuhei scowled deeply, "Things like what? Don't you think I've got a right to know what's going on? I'm trying to understand you, but you're not cooperating with me."

Renji cringed. Shuuhei was absolutely right. He had every right to know, but Renji was afraid. He didn't think the gorgeous DJ would stick around if he found out everything he'd done and what had been done to him. Renji lowered his eyes to the floor and bit his bottom lip.

"Look," Shuuhei sighed in defeat, "it's obvious that you're not ready to talk about...whatever it is you're not telling me, so let's just give each other some space, ok?"

Renji's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to protest, but Shuuhei was already making his way towards the front door. Before he even had a chance to properly react, the DJ had disappeared from his apartment, shutting the door quietly behind himself.

Renji plopped back onto his bed and rested his elbows on his knees, then covered his face with his hands.

_What the fuck was he gonna do now?_

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_February 2009_

Shirosaki smiled drunkenly down into his eighth shot of tequila, hiccupping slightly as he swayed on the rickety bar stool of the run down bar about a block from his home. He had been celebrating for some time now, ever since his come-up from the job he'd done for Halibel. The bitch had even had the nerve to come to him demanding her money back because the orange-haired kid, Ichigo, had somehow managed to survive.

_Fucking dumbass broad._

_Did she really think he was going to just turn around and give her back all that bread? She had to have been high off her ass to demand some shit like that._

Shiro giggled, then tossed back the shot. He slammed the sturdy glass on the bar top and beckoned the bartender with his right hand.

"Gimme 'notha one," he slurred when the tall, wavy-haired man made his slow approach, drying a glass with a white hand towel.

"Nah, Shiro, I think you've had enough for tonight."

"Fuuuck, tha', Kyoraku, I ain' drivin' er nothin'! Gimme one more!"

Kyoraku arched a brow and shook his head, "Shiro, go get some rest and when you come back, your first drink will be on me, how's that?"

Shiro contemplated the offer as best as his inebriated mind could handle and decided he would take the deal. He sucked his teeth, but nodded all the same. Kyoraku grinned and ambled off to help another patron, while Shiro slid bonelessly from the bar stool, stumbling slightly as he made his way for the door.

He hadn't heard from Hal since she'd approached him about a month ago asking for her money back, not that he cared. _It was time for him to call his new bitch._ He was drunk as shit and horny as hell, so getting his dick wet was his top priority at the moment.

He ambled out of the bar and slowly made his way down the darkened street, pulling his cell phone from the back pocket of his light-gray skinny jeans. He squinted at the bright screen and scrolled through his contacts for the number of that hot, red-haired, bartender chick he'd picked up last week from Seireitei in Karakura. Finding the number, he pressed the green phone icon to connect the call and lifted the device to his ear.

The phone rang three times before being answered, "Hello?" a sultry, feminine voice traveled over the line.

Shiro grinned hugely and shoved his free hand in his pocket, "'Sup, beau'ful? Ya free?"

The woman gave a husky chuckle, making his dick twitch excitedly, "Yeah, actually, I am. Why? You tryna see me?"

"Fuck yeah. Ya gonna lemme swing by?"

"If that's what you want."

Shiro cheered inwardly and outwardly allowed his cheshire cat grin to spread, "Text me yer address an' I'll be there inna minute."

"Ok."

He disconnected the call and waited for the woman's text to come through. Thirty seconds later, it did and he called a cab to get him to his destination.

_He was so going to get laid._

XOXOXO

_Karakura General Hospital_

_February 2009_

Grimmjow trudged through the antiseptic-smelling hallways of Karakura General Hospital towards Ichigo's room, carrying his usual, every-three-days bouquet of flowers. It had taken him all of two weeks after the incident to finally muster the courage to visit his comatose boyfriend and once he had, he'd nearly broken down again at the sight of him.

Ichigo lay completely still, the only movement being the slow rising and falling of his chest and the only noise being the soft beeping of the heart monitor. He'd stood silently beside his boyfriend's bed just staring at him in disbelief, wishing desperately that Ichigo would wake up and get better.

_He hadn't._

It was still painful, still incredibly hard to deal with. He missed sleep for days at a time, only resting when his body shut down on him, refusing to function. _Crashing._ He barely showed his face at the club these days and when he did, it was only to check his books and see how things were going.

He missed Ichigo so much, it physically hurt. For the first week after his boyfriend had been shot, he'd been violently ill whenever he thought of the orange head lying in a hospital room in a coma. It had haunted him, making eating and sleeping impossible. _Hell, it still did._

He was a fucking wreck and he knew it, but there was nothing he could do about it. He was well and truly miserable without Ichigo beside him, laughing and talking. _He wanted to hold him. Touch him. Kiss him. Fuck, he just wanted to hear his voice; see his beautiful brown eyes open again and give him that look that turned his bones to melted butter._

Grimmjow hung his head dejectedly at the closed door of Ichigo's hospital room. He hated seeing the fiesty orange head like this, but he hated not seeing him at all, even more. It was the reason he'd finally given in and come to visit him. From that day on, he'd come everyday, sitting with Ichigo and talking to him as if he were awake to hear his every word.

_Sometimes it was easier to believe that his boyfriend was only sleeping._

Grimmjow gently pushed the room door open and peeked around it. Hirako and Stark were seated beside Ichigo's bed, talking in hushed tones. He stepped inside the room, catching their attention and nodded. He hadn't felt the urge to talk to anyone lately, so he never did. The most he would say was "what's up". He didn't know why, he just knew he didn't feel like speaking to anyone other than Ichigo, even though the younger man couldn't speak back to him.

"Hey, Grimm," Stark greeted, knowing he probably wouldn't get a response.

"Hey," Hirako added, his eyes holding a forlorn glint.

Grimmjow merely nodded again and waited at the door for Hirako and Stark to say their goodbyes. Once they had and left the room, closing the door behind themselves, he slowly approached Ichigo's bed and glanced down at him.

His boyfriend's normally flawless, healthy-looking skin was pale, his bright orange hair had grown a little, but also lost its glow and luster, and he'd lost some weight. Grimmjow lowered the bedrail and sat beside Ichigo, reaching down to hold the hand that didn't have the IV running from it. He leaned over and kissed Ichigo's lips, his heart pounding and breath hitching when there was the usual no response. He straightened his back and rubbed his thumb across the knuckles of Ichigo's hand that he held, fighting the prickling behind his eyes.

"Hey, Ichi," he croaked, "I got ya some more flowers. Thought they'd brighten up your room a bit." Grimmjow moved to place the glass vase on the wooden stand beside Ichigo's bed before returning to his spot. "Pop says 'hi'. He's been pretty busy at the club, since I don't really go that much anymore." He paused and looked around the small hospital room, noting the shut blinds and the overall depressing atmosphere. "I, uh, I changed the color of your room like ya've been wantin'. Light-blue and black, your favorite colors."

Grimmjow bit his bottom lip and recaptured Ichigo's hand. As usual, his emotions were threatening to overwhelm him, but he fought through them. "I got a cold, so I haven't been eatin' much. I know that would piss ya off, but I'm tryin'. Um," his bottom lip betrayed him and trembled slightly, "Ichi, I miss you. I don't like seein' ya here like this. Ya-ya gotta wake up, yeah? I know you're probably tired and all, but...I wanna see your smile again. 'Sides, I've got somethin' to tell ya. Somethin' I shoulda told ya a long time ago."

Grimmjow paused for breath, eyes locked on Ichigo's face. He knew his boyfriend wouldnt respond, but he wished he would. He wished Ichigo would just open his eyes and give him a smart remark, or tease him, or hell, even curse him out the way he would when Grimmjow would try to wake him up in the morning.

"I hope you can hear me, Ichi," he said softly before easing off the bed and into the faux leather chair beside it. He dragged the chair closer and grasped Ichigo's hand again.

Minutes turned into hours as Grimmjow kept a constant vigil next to Ichigo. He watched his boyfriend's face for any sign of movement that would indicate Ichigo returning to consciousness.

_Nothing._

_As usual._

The room door opened slowly and a nurse peeked her head around the edge, "Grimmjow, visiting hours are over, now," she whispered gently.

He sighed and nodded. All of the nurses knew him by now, so there were never any problems with him staying a few minutes over the limit. The nurse slipped from the room, closing the door again as he rose to his feet. Grimmjow leaned over and kissed Ichigo again, a piece of him dying, as usual, when his kiss wasn't returned.

"I'll see ya tomorrow, Ichi," he stated softly and headed for the door. Once he reached it and was about to exit, he turned back to glance at his boyfriend one more time, "I love you."

And he was gone.


	21. Trust In Me

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_April 2009_

Renji ached all over. When Shuuhei had requested they give each other space, he hadn't expected to be pushed away. _It was torturous. Excruciating. Unbearable. All those words that described misery and more_. Everytime he called Shuuhei, he'd been kept at a distance, like the DJ was keeping him at arm's length.

 _It killed a piece of him each time it happened_.

Renji wanted to do something about their situation and knew the only logical solution was to tell Shuuhei everything, regardless of what the outcome would be. _If Shuuhei walked away from him after that, then there was nothing he could do about it_.

Renji had given up on trying to speak with the raven-haired male over the phone. Conversation was always stilted, awkward and uncomfortable. So, that left him with one last option: going to the man's house to confront him. They hadn't seen each other in over a month and Renji missed him. _He missed him a lot more than he had expected to_.

Shuuhei had become extremely important to him and Renji was at the point where he would do anything to have the man smile at him again.

 _He was scared to death, but it had to be done_.

Unohana-san had chewed his ass out in her unique way, telling him that it was his own fault that Shuuhei was misunderstanding things between them. And she had been right. All he had to do was tell the DJ about his past and whatever happened after that would be left to fate. Renji would just have to let the chips fall.

 _God, he was so scared, it made him nauseous_.

It was a Monday evening. Renji knew that Shuuhei had the night off, so he'd decided to go confront the man he cared about at his home. He sat fidgeting restlessly on the bus, his knees bouncing and his heart racing. He'd decided to dress comfortably in a plain, white t-shirt, light-blue jeans and all-white Nike Air Force Ones and his hair was loose, falling over his shoulders in bright, crimson waves.

He glanced around the bus, noting the empty spaces. It was around eight o'clock and the passengers were few. There were probably eight others, aside from himself, riding the noisy vehicle. All too soon, the bus began approaching his stop, so he pressed the button, and rose from his seat, grabbing the overhead bar to steady himself until the bus rolled to a stop. He moved to the back door and slowly stepped into the balmy, night air.

Renji took a deep breath and started the three block journey to Shuuhei's apartment complex. His hands were shaking and beginning to perspire, but he knew this was what needed to be done. _He couldn't say for sure that he loved the DJ, but he was sure that he cared about him. He knew Shuuhei had become important to him and he wasn't ready to let the man go without a fight_.

The streets were pretty deserted, his footsteps seeming to echo loudly against the pavement. The street lights were on though, so he wasn't afraid of being mugged or jumped. _Besides, he wasn't a weakling. He could damned sure take care of himself if the need arose_. All the same, he quickened his steps. He was anxious to get to his destination and he wouldn't look kindly on any interruptions to his progress.

The wind picked up, blowing a few stray tendrils of his hair into his face. He brushed them aside and shoved his hands into his pockets. A crescent moon shone brightly in the sky, stars dotting the midnight-blue blanket around it. Renji loved the nighttime. It was beautiful and so serene, not to mention displayed a quality that the daytime lacked. He couldn't put his finger on exactly what it was, but he knew it was there.

Finally, Shuuhei's apartment loomed before him and the butterflies in his gut, that had managed to settle down during the short walk, took flight once again. He saw the DJ's hunter-green, Toyota Celica parked in the lot and breathed a brief sigh of relief. _At least that meant he was home_.

Renji entered the lobby through a pair of glass, double doors and made his way to the elevators. A woman at the front desk watched him warily, making him wonder if she had been accosted before. _He certainly hadn't done anything to warrant a look like that_. He pressed the button to call for the elevator and was glad when the doors immediately slid open. He stepped inside, pressed the button for the fourth floor and leaned back against the wall of the metal car.

His heart was beating so hard, it actually hurt. He could feel the thumps in his throat and he felt like he was losing his breath. He wasn't claustrophobic, but this was definitely beginning to feel like an episode.

The elevator came to a stop and the doors slid open. The walls of the hallway were a pale blue, trimmed with white and each apartment door was a light-gray. The carpeted floor was a flat, dark-gray, but nothing quite prepared Renji for the sight his eyes took in upon stepping from the elevator. Down the hall, Shuuhei was locked in a tight embrace with a tall, dark-haired male, who looked, strangely, like Ichigo.

_That didn't matter._

_Shuuhei obviously didn't want him anymore_.

Renji felt like his heart had been ripped from his chest as he stood staring in agonized disbelief. _How could Shuuhei just forget about him that way? No...why had he forgotten about him?_ Renji grit his teeth and fisted his hands at his sides. Shuuhei didn't even care enough to tell him that he was seeing someone else. He'd strung him along like some sort of plaything and Renji - like a fool - had allowed him to do so. The DJ was so caught up in his new lover that he didn't even notice him standing there.

Feeling like a moron, not to mention a complete loser, Renji whirled around and stabbed the elevator button viciously. He'd decided that he didn't want Shuuhei to even know he was there. When the elevator doors didn't open right away, he snarled and glared up at the numbers above the portal.

_Fuck, it had moved already. Now, he had to wait, while Shuuhei-_

_Shit_.

Renji felt the ominous sting of tears prickling behind his eyes and began pushing the button for the elevator repeatedly, even though he knew doing so wouldn't make the thing come any faster.

 _This was his fault_. He hated admitting it, but it was true. If he'd just stopped being a coward and told the DJ about his past, the man wouldn't have gone seeking affection from another person. Renji felt like everything he'd been working for over the past few months was crumbling around him. He could feel himself drawing in upon himself, ready to shut out the outside world.

"Renji?"

Renji stiffened and halted his frenzied efforts in trying to make the elevator appear faster. His jaw tightened considerably as his heart thrashed against his ribs and he unconsciously held his breath. He didn't want to turn around and face the man speaking to him. He couldn't. It would just make everything he'd seen real and he didn't want that. He wanted to perhaps live in denial for a while. He wanted to hope that Shuuhei hadn't just dropped him like a bad habit.

His elbow was gently grasped and he had to blink back the tears threatening to fall as he turned to face Shuuhei. Coal-colored eyes were focused on him and dark brows were creased with concern.

 _What a joke_.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_April 2009_

Shuuhei hadn't expected the sudden visit from his older brother, Kaien. The last he'd heard, the man had been in France, studying the culture. When Kaien had left Japan five years ago as an excited twenty year old man-child, Shuuhei hadn't expected to see him again. Sure, his brother sent him postcards and letters, but as far as an in-the-flesh appearance went, Shuuhei hadn't had one. Even though Kaien was two years his senior and they had different mothers, he still looked up to the guy. He was smart, out-going and loyal to a fault. Shuuhei wished he could be like him.

They were as close as brothers with different maternal parentage could be and so much more. Shuuhei had been the result of an affair and left to fend for himself by his father. His mother had hated him, claiming he was a mistake and the reason his father didn't want anything to with her anymore. She'd ended up killing herself when he was only seven years old, and as her only child, he'd grown up without the love and support he'd literally craved during his childhood.

Shuuhei had been bounced from foster home to foster home, finally ending up in a home for troubled youth at the age of fourteen. He had been bitter, angry and jealous of other kids that had the lives he so desperately wanted. _That was, until the Fall of the very same year he'd been placed in that unbearable home_.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_Sawamura Home For Troubled Youth_

_October 2000_

_Shuuhei had a reputation for being the most troublesome teenager in this awful place, but he didn't mind it in the least. He appreciated the fact that he was feared and in some cases respected. It made him feel alive. Gave him a reason to want to be alive._

_He'd been terrorizing the other boys in the home, when he'd been called into the director's office. Thinking he was only going to be reprimanded for his behavior, he'd sauntered into the office, but froze at the sight of a boy maybe two or three years older than himself, sitting patiently in one of the red, plastic chairs lining the wall._

_The boy had kind, friendly, dark eyes and a wide smile that were both directed at Shuuhei. It had made him nervous, but also intrigued him. The director, a short, strict woman named, Soi Fon, had immediately launched into a brief introduction._

_"Shuuhei, this young man would like to speak with you," she stated sternly._

_Shuuhei rolled his eyes and glanced over at the dark-haired male, "Why?"_

_"My name's Kaien Shiba," at the name, Shuuhei stiffened and his eyes widened, "I guess you've heard that name before."_

_He pursed his lips and glared at the Kaien boy. How dare he? Oh, Shuuhei had heard the surname, Shiba, many times from his mother whenever she went into her rages. When she wasn't hitting him, she was blaming him for the loss of her one true love, Manabu Shiba, Shuuhei's father._

_So, who the hell was this Kaien person? And what the hell did he want with him?_

_"Yeah," Shuuhei answered stiffly. "Who are you?"_

_"I'm your brother," Kaien responded cheerfully, his dark eyes crinkling in the corners._

_Shuuhei felt like all the air had left his lungs. H-he had a brother? He supposed it was possible since he'd never heard from or seen his father before, but it was still shocking all the same._

_"W-why are you here?"_

_Kaien stood from his seat and approached him, easily towering over him, "I know you don't know me or anything, but...I thought maybe I could change that. I found out about you from my mom and I wanted to meet you."_

_"Why would you do that? And how does your mom know about me?" Shuuhei inquired with a puzzled expression._

_Soi Fon stood from her perch behind her huge desk and gave them a "shoo" gesture, "You may go speak as long as you stay on the grounds."_

_Kaien nodded and thanked her before disappearing behind the office door, Shuuhei following only because his curiosity was getting the best of him. He trailed behind the taller teen until they reached the home's outside picnic area. There were a few benches and tables strewn about and in the distance was a basketball court._

_Shuuhei plopped onto a table and withdrew his secret pack of smokes, shaking one free and lighting up before he turned to face Kaien, "So?"_

_Kaien sighed and pushed a hand through his dark, spiky hair, "My mom isn't supposed to know about you, but she does. Around three weeks ago, she found a picture of you and your mom in my dad's - er, our dad's - study. It was pretty old because you didn't look any older than three or four and it had your name, age and the current year written on the back._

_"I guess you could call it women's intuition, but she automatically knew you were his. She confronted him, but he blew up at her for going through his things. It was really messy. They're getting a divorce now and everything, but...I...actually, I'm not even supposed to know about you. I overheard an argument between them and decided to find you myself," the older teen explained._

_Shuuhei frowned, still incredibly confused. All he wanted to know was...why?_

_"I don't get it. Why did you wanna find me? Shouldn't you be pissed that I ruined your family?" he asked, cigarette long forgotten._

_"Nah, they were headed for a divorce anyway. Mom can't stand Dad because all he does is gamble and sleep around. We've, uh, we've got a little sister and brother. Kukaku and Ganju. They might not understand what's going on right now because they're taking the divorce pretty hard, but...I don't think any of this is your fault. I couldn't sit on the sidelines knowing I had another younger sibling out there somewhere, you know?" Kaien continued. "I'm only sixteen, so that would make you fourteen, right?"_

_Shuuhei nodded, unable to speak. He had siblings. A real family. This was too much. He flicked away the cigarette and continued listening._

_"Well, my uncle, Jyuushiro, knows what's going on and he's helped me get my own place. He owns the building actually and promised to let me stay there on my own as long as I go to school and work part-time. I think that's fair, don't you?" Kaien asked with a wide grin. Again, all Shuuhei could do was nod. "So, um, look, here's my number. I'm not trying to pressure you into contacting me or anything, but if you ever wanna talk or something, just call me, ok?"_

_Kaien had whipped out a pen and a small, frayed business card and was busy writing his number on the back of it. Once he had, he handed the card to Shuuhei, still wearing that huge, warm grin, then turned and started ambling away._

_Shuuhei grasped the card in his hand tightly and watched his older brother walk away, still reeling slightly from the news._

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_April 2009_

About a week after meeting Kaien, he'd run away from the home and, using his brother's phone number, had found his apartment. He'd shown up at the teen's door expecting to be sent back to the home, but, surprisingly, Kaien had welcomed him and even offered to let him stay there.

 _So, he had_.

His brother had taken care of him, helped him with school and even introduced him to their younger siblings. _That hadn't gone over well_. They had instantly hated him, claiming it was all his fault their parents had split up. It had taken a lot of convincing and reassuring on Kaien's part, but eventually, Shuuhei realized that he was a victim in the situation, as well.

 _He loved his brother_. At the time, he had been the only person to show him any real affection and concern and even when Shuuhei told him that he was gay, Kaien hadn't turned on him. That's why when the man decided to leave and see the world, he'd supported it one hundred percent on the outside, although inside, he wanted to die.

So, seeing his brother again after five, long years, he had been ecstatic. They had talked and caught up on one another's lives and just like Kaien, he'd noticed something was off with his younger brother. Having no choice, he'd explained to him about Renji and how he felt the red head didn't really want him.

Kaien had kindly smacked him on the back of his head and told him to sit down and talk to Renji. Give the man time to get whatever was plaguing him off his chest. When he'd explained that he'd done that already, Kaien only told him to do it again.

 _"You need to establish trust and running away when he needs you, doesn't do that,"_ Kaien had wisely stated, making Shuuhei feel about the size of a pin-prick.

So, he'd decided to go find the red head and do just that. Kaien had given him his new address and Shuuhei had walked him to the door, hugging him tightly before the man headed home.

Imagine his surprise to see Renji standing near the elevators, looking downright panicked and upset. Then, he realized how the scene between him and Kaien must've appeared to Renji and he inwardly cringed. _He had to catch him before the elevator arrived and the man left thinking he was seeing someone else_.

Shuuhei jogged down the hallway, "Renji?" The red head refused to look at him and he could see the tension in the beautiful body before him. _Renji always managed to look gorgeous, even when he was being casual_. Shuuhei captured his elbow and when Renji turned sad, glossy, russett-colored eyes to him, he knew had to fix things.

 _Quick_.

Before he could get a word in edge-wise, Kaien appeared beside him, wearing that infernally large grin of his. His brother held out a hand in Renji's direction, "You must be Renji! I've just heard a lot about you!" he declared cheerfully.

Renji didn't say a word. He didn't even reach for Kaien's hand. All he did was glare.

"Uh, Renji, this is my older brother, Kaien," Shuuhei pointed out tentatively.

Renji whipped around to stare in open-mouthed shock at him before his face morphed into a deep crimson, "Well, shit..." he grunted and Shuuhei couldn't help the small smirk that appeared.

"Ah, Shuu-chan, you didn't tell your boyfriend about me?" Kaien asked, his voice playful and eyes gleaming devilishly.

"Kaien, I'll call you later!" Shuuhei growled and pushed his older brother onto the just opening elevator.

"Bye! It was nice meeting you, Renji!"

The elevator doors slid shut, loud laughter still reverberating noisily. Shuuhei rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, trying to make the blush he knew was there, disappear. Renji grinned down at him and arched a brow, "Shuu-chan?"

"Shutup. What are you doing here?" he asked, hoping to change the subject. _Kaien was so embarrassing sometimes_.

Renji's expression grew serious rather quickly as he lowered his gaze to the floor, "I need to talk to you," he answered quietly.

Shuuhei nodded and led the red head to his apartment, waiting for them to enter before he closed the door softly behind themselves.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_April 2009_

Rukia sat on the couch in the large sitting room of her childhood home, staring blankly at her brother in shock. She couldn't believe her ears. _H-how had things spiraled so out of control?_

"Wh-who did it?" she whispered, clasping her suddenly clammy hands together.

Byakuya sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, "No one knows."

Kenpachi sat in a large, leather recliner to her left, his huge feet kicked up. Rukia noticed he was watching her intently and anger flared up inside her when she realized what he was probably thinking.

"You think I did it, don't you?" she snapped.

He shrugged nonchalantly, "No, but ya certainly could afford ta have someone else do it for ya," he rumbled.

Rukia surged to her feet, rage consuming her tiny frame, "Y-you know I wouldn't do that! Not after everything that's happened! I didn't wish him harm after you and nii-san came and found me at the hotel! I couldn't have had Ichigo shot!"

"Rukia, calm yourself," Byakuya interjected softly, "every option needs to be investigated. You had a motive and were very near to doing the deed yourself. Kenpachi only wants to be sure you didn't have anything to do with it."

"I DIDN'T!" she shrieked, close to hysteria.

"Fine. Someone else did," Kenpachi stated.

Rukia collapsed onto the couch and covered her face with her hands. If anyone else found out about what she had been up to, they would surely accuse her of the same thing. _This was horrible_. Of course, she had hated Ichigo and wanted to kill the man before, but once her brother had talked some sense into her, she had abandoned the idea altogether.

_Now, it didn't matter because the deed had been accomplished by someone else. Who the fuck could have wanted Ichigo dead besides herself?_

She needed to do something and she had a good idea of what that was.

XOXOXO

_Karakura General Hospital_

_April 2009_

Huge, white, fluffy clouds rolled past in a bright blue sky, distinctly reminding him of the man he loved. Ichigo stood silently on what appeared to be a sideways-erected building, staring off into the distance.

He couldn't remember everything that had happened, but he did remember an extremely hot, stinging sensation in his chest as his breath was sucked away and he choked on his own blood. He also remembered Grimmjow's tear-stained, worried face being the last thing he saw before being pitched into darkness and then this place.

The place was beautiful, but he missed his boyfriend. He missed his family and he missed his friends. _Was he...dead? Was this the afterlife? What a lonely existence_.

Then again, it couldn't really be the afterlife because he could still hear the voices of those he cared about, from time to time. Particularly Grimmjow. Those were the times his loneliness became stifling. He could hear the distress lacing his blue-haired lover's deep voice and it made his heart ache. At those times, he wanted to reach out and draw the voice closer, reassuring him that everything was fine.

_Wasn't it?_

Ichigo no longer knew. He could never quite hear what was being said, he only recognized the voices. _What was wrong with him that he couldn't see anyone, couldn't touch anyone, fuck, couldn't even speak to anyone?_

He lowered himself to the edge of the tall building he was standing on and let his legs dangle over the side. He wanted to go home. He wanted to see Yuzu, Karin and even his old man. He wanted to see his friends, Tatsuki, Shinji, Chad, Ishida, Inoue...Renji, but most of all, he wanted to see Grimmjow.

He craved his boyfriend's smiles, laughter, touches, his deep, rumbling voice...he missed the man so much. Ichigo felt tears stinging his eyes and sighed noiselessly. This was no way to live. _If he was even alive at all_.

Suddenly, soft footsteps could be heard approaching him from behind. He turned his head slightly, then shot to his feet as recognition blew him away. Eyes wide, he took in the appearance of a woman he hadn't seen in so many years. Long, reddish-orange hair hung down her back, swaying lightly in the breeze and warm, brown eyes smiled at him as much as her lips did. She wore a long, off-white, linen gown that brushed the tops of her bare feet.

"M-Mom?" he breathed incredulously.

"Ichigo," she said gently, holding her arms out for him.

Ichigo practically flew into them, hugging her tightly and inhaling the nostalgic scent of warm apples and cinnamon. She still smelled and looked the same, only now, he was a little taller than her.

"H-how? How is this happening? Am I really dead?" he croaked.

She chuckled softly and ran a hand through his hair, making him lean into the touch, "No, you're not dead, honey. My, you've gotten so tall! You're a handsome, young man, now!"

Ichigo blushed and pulled back to look into the face of his mother. Her milk chocolate eyes were crinkled with amusement and a wide grin spread her lips. She arched a brow at his expression and placed her hands on her hips.

"What's that look about? I can tell my son he's handsome, can't I?"

"Yes, ma'am," Ichigo muttered. _He'd reverted into a child again_.

Masaki's face softened as she reached up to stroke his left cheek, "I'm sure you have a lot of questions, but now isn't the time to ask them," she said softly. Ichigo nodded and she took his hand and led him back to the edge of the building. She tugged gently, indicating she wanted him to follow her lead and they both seated themselves, legs dangling over the side of the large structure. "Sweetie, right now, you're in a coma. It's why you can only hear voices, rather than see anyone."

Ichigo blew out a breath of relief. _At least he wasn't fucking dead_. "Am I going to die? Is that why you're here?"

She laughed heartily, the sound reminding him painfully of Yuzu, "No, silly, I'm here to see you off. It's not your time to pass on yet, Ichigo, so my job is to give you that little nudge to get you home where you belong."

"Really? How are you gonna do that?"

His mother leaned over and nudged his shoulder with her own, "Like this." Right before he was pitched into darkness, Ichigo heard his mom's voice one more time, "I love you, Ichigo."

He felt like he'd been drugged as he dragged his eyes open. He immediately began coughing, his eyes watering as they tried to adjust to the bright, fluorescent lighting of the room. Images were blurry, but he managed to make out a flurry of movement near what he assumed was the door. Suddenly, a man with a white lab coat was hovering over him.

"Don't try to talk, Kurosaki-san, we have to remove the endotracheal tube. You'll feel some slight discomfort," the man stated before Ichigo abruptly felt the urge to hurl. He coughed again, but this time it was to clear the sensation of having something invading his throat. "Do you remember your name?" the mysterious man continued.

Ichigo scowled and slowly licked his lips, "I-Ich-Ich-i-go," his voice cracked and wavered.

"Good. Can you wiggle your toes for me?" the man, who Ichigo now assumed to be a doctor, asked as he pulled back the white sheet that had been covering him.

Ichigo ordered his brain to move his toes, but nothing happened. After a few seconds, he tried again. Still nothing. A few more seconds and finally the big toes of each foot moved slightly. Ichigo grunted happily. _At least he wasn't permanently fucked_.

"Good, now your hands."

 _Shit_.

Ichigo repeated the process, this time sending the command to move to his hands. After a few tries, he'd managed to lift both hands, but they immediately fell back to his sides from sheer weakness.

 _But they had moved and that was all that mattered_.

Sleep pulled him under and the last thing he recalled before falling to its spell was the doctor smiling as he bustled aroun **d.**

**XxxxxX**

A soft murmuring brought him out of his restful slumber and when he opened his eyes, he knew they widened in disbelief.

"R-Ru-ki-a," he croaked. His voice still wasn't accustomed to being used.

Large, violet eyes rounded in surprise, "Ichigo!" she yelped.

"Wh-wh-wha-"

"No, wait, don't say anything! I know talking is probably tough for you right now, so I'll just tell you what I need to tell you. You can respond when you're feeling better." Ichigo nodded shortly. _What the hell_. "I know we weren't on the best of terms, even when we were still friendly towards one another and I just wanted you to know that that was my fault. I was jealous of you. I was jealous of what you had with Renji and I let that jealousy make me do things I really shouldn't have done. I guess, I mean, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I really am," she ended in a whisper.

Ichigo studied her remorseful expression and recognized the honesty in her eyes. _Well, hell, this certainly was unexpected_. He'd never expected Rukia to be the one to come to him and apologize. She was stubborn and prideful and he would've sworn that she would never have lowered herself to do such a thing. Especially since she had obviously hated him. Then again, he and Renji were on good terms again, so anything was possible.

"O-o-ok," he responded.

Rukia eyed him warily, "You really mean it? You'll forgive me after everything I've done to you?" Ichigo only nodded, already too tired to try speaking again. Rukia smiled and grasped his right hand, "Thank you so much, Ichigo!"

Again, he nodded, then rested his head against the soft white pillows of the hospital bed. Life was extremely strange and full of curve balls. _His old friends turned enemies were once again his friends and he hadn't seen any of it coming_. Right then, an overwhelming feeling of longing damn near suffocated him.

 _He wanted to see Grimmjow_.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_April 2009_

Grimmjow sat in the darkened bedroom of Ichigo's apartment, elbows resting on his knees and hands covering his face as he cried in earnest. Broken, desperate sobs wrenched from his large frame as he wallowed in grief he'd never felt before.

A few hours ago, he'd been at the hospital visiting Ichigo, when Isshin had arrived, face pale and mouth pursed. Grimmjow had wondered what had the older man looking so worn out and upset because he'd thought Isshin had become used to seeing Ichigo lying there comatose.

 _He had been utterly unprepared for the words that left the elder Kurosaki's mouth_.

XOXOXO

_Karakura General Hospital_

_April 2009_

_A Few Hours Ago_

_"We've decided to let my son rest in peace," Isshin calmly stated._

_Grimmjow frowned in confusion before saying the first thing that came to mind, "I'm not bothering him."_

_He was seated in his usual spot beside Ichigo's bed in the large, faux leather chair, holding his boyfriend's hand. He did this everyday, so why was today any different?_

_Isshin grimaced and shifted slightly, "No, we're taking Ichigo off of the respirator. If he was going to wake up, he would've do-"_

_"NO!" Grimmjow shouted, uncaring of his whereabouts, "I won't let you kill Ichi!"_

_He shot to his feet, heart hammering and chest constricting painfully as his hands fisted at his sides. How could Isshin even consider doing something so fucking horrible? Ichigo wasn't dead! He wasn't!_

_"Grimmj-"_

_"NO!" he literally screamed. "Wh-why would you say some shit like that? You can't KILL him! He's not fuckin' dead!"_

_"Ichigo wouldn't want to live his life as a vegetable and that's what his future holds! Being comatose this long does NOT bode well, Grimmjow! What would you have me do?" Isshin argued back, expression pain-filled._

_Grimmjow felt like his legs would give out at any moment. God, they were going to kill his Ichi and there was nothing he could do about it. Tears stung his eyes as his chest felt like it was filling with water._

_"PLEASE!" he blurted, making his way to Isshin and grasping the man's hands, "Please don't! I-I, please, Isshin, you can't just kill him," he pleaded desperately._

_Isshin's dark eyes filled with remorse as he carefully extracted his hands, "He's already gone," he whispered, voice breaking._

_Grimmjow didn't know what to do with himself. Rage, grief and pure misery overwhelmed him. He couldn't sit there and watch them pull the plug on the only person he'd ever loved. He wouldn't._

_Heart in agony and mind in turmoil, he stepped briskly past Isshin and slammed out of the room._

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_April 2009_

Afterwards, he'd found himself at Ichigo's apartment, trying to memorize everything about the orange-haired man that had changed his life. Grimmjow had stood in the empty living room, blue eyes scanning the comfy, white furniture, the huge, flat-screen tv he'd bought for Ichigo as a late birthday gift, but his perusal had stopped when he'd spotted the large, framed picture resting on the wooden coffee table.

He'd moved mechanically towards it, collapsing onto the couch as he reached an unsteady hand out to grasp it. _It was a picture they had taken on Halloween_. They had decided to dress up as characters from Ichigo's favorite manga and anime, One Piece. Grimmjow had immediately claimed the role of Zoro because...well, he was Zoro. Badass swordsman of the Grand Line and Ichigo had instantly taken up the role of the retarded, but extremely loyal captain, Luffy.

Grimmjow remembered admiring the bright, red vest, cut-off, blue jeans, sandals and straw hat his orange-haired boyfriend wore like they were made for him. _It was only an added bonus that Ichigo was bare-chested under that red vest_.

Grimmjow's outfit was simple. Ugly, dark green pants stuffed into clunky, black boots, a form-fitting, white t-shirt with three buttons at the neck, and a bright-green haramaki wrapped around his slim waist. Three, fake swords rested on his right hip and a black bandana was tied around his left arm.

In the picture, they were posing on Isshin's stoop, Ichigo clutching his straw hat and smirking devilishly in a mirror image of Luffy and Grimmjow standing with his arms folded across his chest, scowling slightly like Zoro.

 _That had been fun_.

It had been then that he'd choked up, setting the picture down and making his way for the bedroom, where he'd sat heavily on the side of the bed.

 _He'd been there ever since_.

He couldn't believe Isshin was going to just kill Ichigo. Yeah, it had been four months since his boyfriend had been declared comatose, but that didn't mean he was dead. There was still a chance he would wake up.

_"Ichigo wouldn't want to live his life as a vegetable and that's what his future holds!"_

Grimmjow cringed at the memory of Isshin's words. He didn't want to believe that, but it was possible. He also knew for a fact that Ichigo wouldn't want to exist that way. _It was a lose-lose situation_.

"Fuck," he croaked, his throat raw from screaming and crying. "Fuck."

_I hate everything about you_

_Why do I love you_

_I hate everything about you_

_Why do I love you_

Grimmjow chuckled derisively as he reached into his back pocket for his ringing phone. _Nnoitra had impeccable timing_.

"Yo," he grumbled once he answered the device.

"Christ, ya sound like shit," his best friend's voice barked ruthlessly. "Ya still at the hospital?"

"No."

"...Then where the fuck are ya?" Nnoitra snapped impatiently.

Grimmjow sighed exasperatedly and ran a hand through his disheveled, blue hair, "Ichi's place."

Nnoitra sighed in return before finally speaking, "Grimm, why d'ya do that ta yerself?"

"I don't know," he mumbled. He fought the anguish rising in him as he blurted, "They're gonna take Ichi off the respirator."

There was a long moment of absolute silence, but Grimmjow knew Nnoitra hadn't hung up. A few more moments passed before his best friend spoke softly, "I'll be there inna minute."

The call was disconnected and Grimmjow was left to wai **t.**

**XxxxxX**

Grimmjow had wanted to get shit-faced, but realized that that would do nothing to alleviate the gnawing ache in his chest. _If anything, it would only make it worse._ He had allowed Nnoitra to take him out to a seedy little bar on the other side of town, since he'd flat-out refused to grace Las Noches with his presence. He didn't like the neighborhood Nnoitra had described though, so before leaving Ichigo's place, he'd tucked Pantera into the waistband of his jeans.

They were currently seated at the bar on a pair of unsteady bar stools, Nnoitra sipping a beer and Grimmjow nursing a shot of vodka. _Ichigo called it rubbing alcohol._

_Fuck._

_He couldn't stop thinking about him._

_He didn't think he ever would either_.

"Ulquiorra's worried 'bout ya," Nnoitra stated casually, making Grimmjow snort.

"In other words, he's givin' ya the silent treatment 'til ya talk me outta my funk, right?"

"The 'lil shit is so fuckin' persistent."

Grimmjow chuckled and knocked back his shot, wincing afterwards at the burn. _Vodka was strong enough to peel paint from the walls_.

"Life fuckin' sucks so bad," he muttered sourly. It was Nnoitra's turn to snort as he sipped his beer.

"Ya think? S'only gonna make ya stronger in the long run, though."

"Yeah, yeah."

A loud commotion a few seats down caught Grimmjow's attention and he glanced over, absently noting the boisterous man with ash-white hair and strange-looking eyes, wearing a black t-shirt and dark-blue jeans. The bartender, a tall, wavy-haired brunet that reminded him of Stark, was laughing with the albino as he set a glass filled with an amber-colored liquid before him.

Grimmjow didn't pay the man anymore attention until several minutes later, the guy was suddenly seated beside him, peering at him intently, those strange eyes squinted in concentration. The smell of alcohol wafted from his very pores, nearly stifling in its intensity. Grimmjow could feel Nnoitra tensing up beside him, so he shook his head and turned back to the odd man.

"Can I help you?" Grimmjow asked.

The man cocked his head to the side and smirked, "I know you."

Grimmjow arched a brow, thinking the guy was probably drunk and mistaking him for someone else. "Oh, yeah?" he responded dryly as he lifted his second shot to his lips.

"Uh-huh. Yer the boyfriend of that kid I was paid ta shoot."

Grimmjow's eyes widened and the small shot glass he held shattered. _He was hearing things. He had to be. There was just no fucking way this man had just said what he thought he did_.

"Come again?" he growled.

The man arched a snowy-white brow and leaned closer, the alcohol fumes almost overwhelming, "Didn' hear me the firs' time, princess?"

Grimmjow lurched off the bar stool and wrapped a large hand around the albino's throat, "I'll fucking kill you," he seethed. _This man had the audacity to approach him like that and think he wouldn't get his ass chewed for it?_

Grimmjow dragged the thrashing man outside the bar, where he proceeded to beat him like he stole something. His fist flew, slamming into the prick's face repeatedly, the man's nose breaking on the first hit with a satisfying crunch. Blood seeped from the wounded appendage, but Grimmjow was unfazed.

The albino grunted in pain with each brutal connection until he could no longer remain on his feet, but even as he hit the ground, Grimmjow drove his foot into his side, hoping that he'd broken something. The man lay in a pitiful heap, coughing and spitting up blood. A pale hand was swiped across an already bruising face, smearing the crimson fluid. A disdainful sneer appeared on the beaten man's lips, "Ya think ya did somethin', huh? I ain't shit, so beatin' me up don't mean nothin'!" he snapped. "Ya really need ta worry 'bout the bitch that paid me ta do what I did!"

Grimmjow grit his teeth. All he could see was red and all he could feel was white-hot rage pulsing through his veins. He reached behind his back and withdrew Pantera. _He really meant it when he said he would kill the man. This asshole was the reason he would never see the love of his life again. The reason he was in so much fucking pain_.

He crouched over the guy, grasping him by the collar and stuffed the barrel of his weapon into the bleeding mouth of Ichigo's assailant. The man's teeth scraped the cool, metal, making a soft clicking sound. Grimmjow pulled the hammer back, cocking the gun as he ground through clenched teeth, "Who paid you?"

The albino smirked around the large weapon, his golden irises seeming to glow. Grimmjow was fast growing impatient with the man and if he didn't get an answer soon, he would blow the guy's head smooth off.

"Who...fucking...paid...you?" he asked again.

This time, he removed the gun, but held fast to the man's collar. The prick wiped his mouth and sneered again, "Tia Halibel ringin' any bells in that thick skull a'yers?"

Grimmjow rocked back on his heels at the new information. _Halibel? She had ordered Ichigo's death? Was she that fucking desperate? That fucking insane? He wouldn't let either one of these bastards get away with what they'd done. No way in hell_.

Grimmjow replaced the gun in the albino's mouth and his finger brushed the trigger, itching to just pull it and put the asshole before him six feet under. Just before he could do anything drastic though, Nnoitra crouched beside him, gripping his arm.

"Grimm, ya might wanna do this now, but later on, yer gonna feel like shit because in the end, it wouldn't bring Berry Boy back," he persuaded. The noisy wail of sirens echoed throughout the nearly deserted streets, making Nnoitra tug on his arm. "C'mon, Grimm, don't do it."

Grimmjow bit his bottom lip. _Fuck, he wanted to kill this idiot and get it over with, but Ichigo would kick his ass if he knew what he was up to_. Growling, he snatched the gun away, reapplied the safety and tucked the weapon back beneath his shirt and jeans, "Ya got lucky today."

He and Nnoitra walked briskly to the parking lot located around the corner from the run-down establishment and hopped into the taller, raven-haired male's Nissan Armada. The engine roared to life and they sped away, Grimmjow feeling severely angry and helpless.

The intro to Guns and Roses's "Welcome to the Jungle" blared from his back pocket and he was sorely tempted to ignore his Pop, but in the end, decided to pick up.

"Yeah," he grunted sullenly.

"Grimmjow! Ya gotta come to the hospital! Ichigo's awake!"

His heart stalled in his chest as he gasped. "Wh-what?" he stuttered in absolute disbelief.

"Ya heard me right, gaki! Get movin'!" his Pop shouted, then ended the connection.

"Go to the hospital," he ordered as he stuffed his phone into his back pocket.

Nnoitra glared at him from the corner of his visible, violet eye, "What's up?"

Grimmjow grinned widely and gripped his knees, barely holding in his delight, "Ichi's awake."


	22. No Air

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_April 2009_

Shuuhei sat waiting patiently on the black, leather sofa of his living room. Renji sat across from him on the matching love seat, nervously fidgeting, while clasping and unclasping his hands, a light sheen of sweat covering his brow.

_Wow._

_What the hell could be so bad that it had the red-haired man acting so peculiar?_

"Shuuhei, I told you before that there was something making me hesitate in, uh, taking that next step with you. I-I never gave you a reason and I realized that that hurt our relationship. Maybe even hurt you. I...I, uh, I wanna tell you now," Renji hesitantly spoke.

Shuuhei furrowed his brows slightly and nodded. He would listen to anything the beautiful red head had to say. _He didn't care what it was_. Renji had been on his mind constantly and he knew that there was just something about the taller man that wouldn't let Shuuhei leave him alone, even after he'd felt hurt by the man's distance. He scooted forward in his seat, preparing himself to pay close attention to every word.

"This is...this is really hard for me to talk about," Renji stated, blowing out a shaky breath and running a hand through his long, bright-red hair.

"It's ok, Renji, you don't-"

"Yes, I do!" Renji snapped, focusing those shining, russett-colored eyes on him.

Shuuhei's eyes widened and his lips pressed together tightly. He'd been caught off guard by the red head's vehemency, but knew enough to keep his mouth shut. He didn't want Renji to change his mind about talking to him because he'd waited a long time for this discussion to take place. Now that it was, he would be patient and wait for the right time to speak.

Renji suddenly leaped to his feet and began pacing the small living room, wringing his large hands frantically. Shuuhei wanted desperately to stand and try to comfort the frazzled red head, but decided against it. He knew Renji wouldn't even let him near him at the moment.

"Shuu, I was raped!"

Silence filled the room like smoke. All Shuuhei could do was gape at the tall red head, who was standing behind the love seat, clutching its cushions, with eyes the size of soup bowls and mouth hanging open. _He didn't think Renji had really meant to blurt that statement in that manner, but, fuck, it was out now_.

"Wha?" Shuuhei asked, unable to grasp the concept of such a big guy being raped, unless the circumstances were different.

"I-I, I...I was raped...when I was eight years old. My step-father...he...he...and my mom..." Renji's deep voice trailed off, his handsome face drawn in agony.

Shuuhei glared at the floor, twisting the silver thumb ring resting on his left thumb. His lips were pressed into a thin line and his heart was beating rapidly. He was trying to keep himself from having a stroke, but knew his blood pressure was probably rising to dangerous levels.

He didn't quite understand everything that Renji had been trying to say, but one thing stood out clearly: the red head had been raped when he was merely eight years old. _Hell, he wasnt even old enough to shoot potent semen at that age!_

Before Shuuhei could form a response, Renji was speaking again, his tone much softer, "My mother killed him. Sh-she came home and saw what he was doing to me and-and she killed him. Then, she lost her mind. She, she's, uh, been in a mental institution ever since. She doesn't even remember who I am," he ended with a sigh and flopped back onto the love seat.

 _He looked exhausted. Sad, too_.

"So, that's why you've had a hard time being intimate with me?" Shuuhei asked bluntly, making Renji grimace.

"Th-that's not all."

Shuuhei nodded wisely, folded his arms across his chest and leaned back against the couch cushions, "You're talkin' about the thing with Ichigo, right?"

Renji's head jerked upwards, those awesome, cinnamon-colored eyes glinting with surprise, "H-how? How did you-"

"Grimmjow kinda told me about it. I don't think he knew it would be such a big deal to you, though, or else he wouldn't have told me. Besides, it looks like you've put all that behind you," Shuuhei answered, uncrossing his arms and leaning forward again, "Am I right?"

"Y-yeah, but, I mean, wh-what...how do you feel about that?"

Renji's expression was one of extreme worry, but all Shuuhei could think was how adorable the red head was. A soft, bottom lip was being worried and gnawed at, while those large hands just couldn't keep still. Knees bounced up and down, but Renji never once lowered his gaze.

Shuuhei stood and made his way over to the red-haired man's side, easing down next to him on the love seat. He studied Renji's frightened face for a minute, then slowly put an arm around the man's broad shoulders and tenderly kissed his temple before smiling gently.

"I should be insulted that you'd think I wouldn't want you anymore, just because of what you've done in the past, but...I understand. Next time, I won't be so understanding, though. You can and _should_ tell me anything, Renji, ya know, 'cuz I would never hurt you," Shuuhei said quietly, his dark eyes focused on Renji's russett ones.

Renji stared at Shuuhei for a moment, tattooed eyebrows furrowed slightly before a wide grin began to bloom across those full lips, "There won't be a next time, Shuu. I'll be sure to tell you everything, from now on," he whispered, leaning towards Shuuhei to emphasize his point.

"You promise?" he asked, wanting to be sure that Renji would never hide things from him again.

Renji nodded, "I promise."

Shuuhei gripped a fistful of the taller man's t-shirt, pulling him into a heated lip-lock, full of tongue and saliva. Just when things were getting good, his red head's phone went off, blaring Kanye West's "Family Business".

"Fuck," Renji grumbled as he extracted the noisy device from his back pocket, "Hello?"

Shuuhei leaned back against the plush cushions of the love seat, inwardly cursing his luck. _That call had better be fucking important_.

"WHAT?" Renji shouted, surging to his feet and simultaneously scaring the crap out of Shuuhei.

_What the hell, man?_

"I'M ON MY WAY!" Renji continued before snapping his phone shut and shoving it back into the recesses of his back pocket. Shuuhei eyed him skeptically. _What the fuck was going on?_

He cleared his throat tentatively and stood as well, hoping that maybe Renji would take the hint and tell him what in the world was going on. Unfortunately, the red head was so distracted, he started towards the front door without saying a word.

"Oi!" Shuuhei barked. Renji stumbled and glanced back at him, eyes shining with joy and urgency. "Where the fuck are you goin'?"

Renji's bright, cheshire cat smile erased his annoyance like the rubber end of a pencil, "Ichigo is awake!" he answered excitedly.

Shuuhei's eyes widened and he ran towards the door, fumbling his way into a pair of black, athletic slippers, "Holy shit! Does Grimmjow know?"

"I don't know. I'm assuming he does, though. Isshin said everyone else is already there, or on their way."

Once Shuuhei had his slippers on securely, they poured from his apartment and hurried to the elevators. Renji jabbed the call button repeatedly, while Shuuhei watched in amusement. He was really glad that the reason the red head had been keeping a distance between them, had nothing to do with him personally. He was angry for Renji, but in order to make up for the taller man's past hurts and humiliations, he would be the best boyfriend the red head would ever have.

 _He would make sure of it_.

XOXOXO

_Karakura General Hospital_

_April 2009_

Tatsuki glanced down at the orange-haired male resting on the raised hospital bed. Ichigo had only recently awakened from a four month coma and she was incredibly relieved to see him doing well. He didn't have much brain damage, aside from his speech, and he would have to have extensive physical therapy, but that was nothing compared to what could have happened.

Tatsuki reached down and gently squeezed Ichigo's shoulder, making his nut-brown eyes focus intently on her. She knew the orange head was a lot more acute than people gave him credit for, but this time, there was no way Ichigo could or would guess what she was up to.

"I'm glad you're good, Ichigo," she said softly, "I gotta go right now, but I'll be back tomorrow, ok?"

Ichigo narrowed his eyes, but nodded all the same. He lifted a hand and placed it over the one she had on his shoulder. It was his way of silently communicating with her. Tatsuki smiled and nodded, her way of reassuring him.

Ishida, Inoue, Chad, Renji and his boyfriend, Shinji and the rest of Grimmjow and Ichigo's friends were gathered in the waiting room, taking turns visiting with the newly awakened orange head. Tatsuki wondered when Grimmjow would make it. After months of what seemed like a severe depression, she knew this news would revitalize the huge, blue-haired man.

She made her way out of Ichigo's room, side-stepping a near frantic Renji. As she passed by the waiting room, she noticed the petite, inky-haired man that dated Grimmjow's really tall friend, seated by the large windows, staring morosely out of them. Although his expression was bland, Tatsuki was able to recognize the worry he was trying to hide.

Shinji sat beside his boyfriend, Stark, his head in the brunet's lap. Stark's fingers threaded through the short, blond hair soothingly, making Tatsuki smile. _Those two were perfect for each other_.

Grimmjow's dad, Alric, sat beside Isshin, Yuzu and Karin, smiling widely, the grin reminding her of his equally blue-haired son. It seemed that everyone had already taken turns seeing Ichigo, leaving Grimmjow, who, strangely, wasn't there yet. Neither was the petite man's boyfriend.

Tatsuki briefly wondered where they were before her cell phone began ringing. Pulling it from her light-red, jacket pocket, she answered, "Yo."

"Ya ready?"

"Mhmm, I'll meet ya behind Las Noches," she responded, picking up her pace and heading for the elevators.

"Cool."

Tatsuki rode the elevator to the lobby and briskly strode through the glass, double doors marking the exit. The air was warm and comfortable, a slight breeze stirring the leaves on the trees. She inhaled deeply and exhaled with a sigh.

 _She had a job to do_.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_April 2009_

Shirosaki couldn't believe he'd ended up in this predicament and all because of that stupid, blonde bitch, Halibel.

_Karakura Town_

_March 2009_

_"I don't give a shit, Hal! I shot the kid! How was I s'posed ta know the fucker would survive a shot ta the chest?" Shiro snapped, his patience worn thin._

_Halibel slammed an elegant hand down onto Shiro's wooden, kitchen table, making the unsteady legs wobble, "You know what, Shiro? I tried to be nice about things, but you're obviously trying to take advantage of me, which -truth be told - I just won't allow," she crooned._

_The fine hairs on the back of Shiro's neck, stood to attention, alerting him that something was totally amiss. Just as he leaped to his feet, Halibel revealed a chrome .45, aiming it at his head._

_"I wouldn't be too hasty, Shiro-kun."_

_Shiro growled and sneered disdainfully at the blonde bitch. He should've known something was up when she'd insisted on coming inside his home to "just talk". He lowered himself back into his seat, glaring at Halibel the entire time._

_"Where's my money, Shiro-kun?" she asked, her tone sarcastic, but clear, green eyes hard and angry._

_"I ain't tellin' ya. Ya gotta kill me!" Shiro snapped._

_Halibel sighed and rubbed her thumb and forefinger over the bridge of her nose, "I'm only going to ask you once more. Where the FUCK is my money?"_

_"Ya always did have a dirty mouth. I c'n put it ta better use, ya know," he leered, even though he knew that she was terrible at sucking dick._

_"Fuck you!" she bit through clenched teeth. "I'll just find it myself!"_

_Before Shirosaki could even react, he was pinned to the high-backed, wooden kitchen chair by a huge man with immensely slanted eyes. He whipped his head around at the sound of duct tape being ripped apart._

_"What the fuck?" he shouted. "Where the hell didju come from?"_

_"Oh, don't concern yourself with Choe. Just worry about getting me my money," Halibel nearly sang, the gun in her hands waving ominously._

_"Fuck you!" he growled, fear beginning to creep up on him as he was taped to his own kitchen chair._

_"Oh? Now, it's fuck me? That's funny."_

_"I ain't givin' back that money, ya bitch!"_

_"No, don't worry! I had a feeling you wouldn't be in a very cooperative mood, so I asked my dad to lend me one of his men to straighten you out," Halibel stated, walking a slow circle around him, "Now...where is my money, Shiro?"_

_"No clue wha' yer talkin' bout," he answered casually._

_"Choe, you think you can persuade our friend here to change his tune?" Halibel asked, glancing behind him at the squinty-eyed giant._

_"Yes, Tia-sama," the giant responded, voice a deep monotone as he proceeded to grasp Shiro's left hand._

_Panic gripped him, but it was too late to do anything other than scream when the huge man broke his middle and ring fingers. "FUUUUCKKK!"_

_"Now. My money, Shiro-kun," Halibel again crooned._

_Shiro's breathing was erratic, sweat had formed across his brow and upper lip and his heart was racing at a mile a minute. "Ya...b-bitch," he panted._

_"Choe," she sang._

_Shiro's eyes widened as his right hand was grasped and ring and middle fingers broken. He grit his teeth and growled loudly, squeezing his eyes shut. The pain was almost unbearable._

_"We can do this all night, until there aren't anymore of your pathetic bones to break. So, feel like talking yet?" Halibel asked nicely, crouching down to eye level._

_Shiro spat in her face, his pride decimated, "Top shelf a'mah closet, ya fuckin' cum-whore," he snapped with an expert sneer._

_Halibel stood, wiping the saliva from her left eye, "Choe, just don't kill him," she stated as she headed for his small bedroom._

_Shiro didn't even flinch when the giant slammed his huge fist into his face._

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_April 2009_

_Now, he was again taped to a chair, but at least this time it wasn't his own_.

After he'd told the big, blue-haired guy about Halibel being the one to hire him to shoot the orange-haired kid, he'd gotten the ass-whooping of his life. What that Choe guy had done to him, had been shit compared to the beating the blue-haired man had given him. Shiro had been on the receiving end of a gun before his encounter with the blue-haired dude, but he'd never seen his life flash before his eyes in those instances. _He'd never felt pure, murderous intent, until he'd had that Desert Eagle shoved down his throat_.

Once the blue-haired guy had disappeared, sparing his life, he'd dragged himself away in the direction of his home, but hadn't even made it three blocks before he was apprehended and slammed roughly into the trunk of a gray, luxury sedan.

The ride had been surprisingly smooth. Shiro thought his abductors would be sadistic and travel the bumpiest road they could find, just to make him suffer. _He was grateful for the courtesy, he supposed_.

All too soon, the ride was over and he was extracted from the trunk. His immediate surroundings were pitch-black and damp, smelling like fresh paint. He'd heard a door sliding shut before he was pulled from the trunk, which might have explained the darkness, but he wondered where the fresh paint smell was coming from.

Suddenly, his arms were yanked behind his back and held painfully in place. The angle made it hard for him to breathe, let alone try to escape. He was pushed forward until he felt plastic crinkling under-foot, making his heart skip several beats. _That didn't bode well at all_.

A bright, yellow light abruptly flooded the room and Shiro realized he was being held captive in a garage. The car he'd ridden in was parked off to the left and the cement floor was covered in a large, blue plastic tarp. There was a single chair in the middle of the plastic, where he was immediately shoved, then taped down.

 _Fuck_.

His captor stepped around to face him and, even though Shiro knew he was at a disadvantage, it still didn't keep him from arching a brow and smirking at the man before him. The guy was tall, elegantly slender and wore a strange-looking outfit, consisting of a black, turtle-neck sweater, black, skinny jeans tucked into black, calf-length, combat boots sporting several buckles, and over everything, he wore a long, black trench coat.

The man had bright, honey-colored eyes that gleamed from behind a pair of silver, rectangular-framed glasses. His pastel-pink hair hung down onto his brow, giving him an air of mystery, while the smirk he wore raised goosebumps across Shiro's skin.

"Dude, ain't ya hot?" Shiro inquired. _It was spring after all_.

The man glared down at him condescendingly, scoffing shortly, "Filth."

Shiro opened his mouth to reply, when he noticed the man pulling something from his coat pocket. He breathed a sigh of relief after noticing it was only a cell phone. The man snapped the device open, scrolled through a list and pressed a button before lifting the phone to his ear.

"What the hell is taking you so long? You know I don't do the dirty work and he stinks. Badly," he stated, sniffing disgustedly.

Shiro grinned to himself, wondering what he'd done this time and if this was the end of his ropes. Suddenly, the garage door slid open and shut, a tall man slowly making his way towards the pink-haired one.

"Mah, mah, yer such a chick, Szayel," a light, creepy voice traveled throughout the garage as the newcomer gradually neared, the sound of a cell phone snapping shut, echoing eerily.

Szayel huffed in annoyance and pointed a long finger in Shiro's direction as he too, snapped his phone shut, "Take care of that, please, Gin. He's revolting."

The man stepped out of the shadows and his appearance made Shiro shudder. He was tall and thin, wearing a form-fitting, white, long-sleeved t-shirt, under a black, short-sleeved t-shirt, black jeans and black and white Converse sneakers. His short, silver hair shone brightly under the sickly, yellow light illuminating the small space and the toothless grin he displayed, had the potential to scare small children.

He brushed a strand of hair out of his face, his slanted eyes appearing closed, "C'mon, Szay, I hadda meet that Tatsuki chick. So, this the guy Nnoitra tol' us 'bout?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

Chills crept down Shirosaki's spine at the swift nod from the pink-haired man, Szayel. The silver-haired man named Gin, stepped forward, withdrawing a nine millimeter and scratching his forehead with the barrel of the gun, "Ya picked the wrong job, mah friend," he calmly issued.

Shirosaki had a bad feeling that tonight would be his last night on Earth.

_Fuck._

_He couldn't even get laid one last time_.

XOXOXO

_Karakura General Hospital_

_April 2009_

Grimmjow sprinted through the hospital hallways, completely ignoring the nurses' calls of "slow down" and "please, stop running, sir".

_Fuck that._

_His Ichi was awake._

_His Ichi was AWAKE_.

He bypassed the elevators, instead opting for the stairs and taking them three at a time. He reached the fourth floor and flung the door open, continuing his run towards Ichigo's room at the end of the hall. He flew past the waiting room, barely glancing inside, but absently noticing everyone's presence.

_He must've been the last to arrive._

_He wondered if Ichigo would remember him. Would he have brain damage?_

Before he could dwell too long on those questions, he skidded to a stop before Ichigo's room door. He took a few deep, calming breaths and pushed the door open. He'd half-expected someone to be inside the room, but fortunately, no one else was there.

 _Still, Ichigo wasn't awake_.

The top of his bed was raised and he was propped up against several pillows for comfort, but his eyes were closed, his breathing even and deep. The breathing tube was gone, though, so that had to be a good sign.

Grimmjow eased into the room and trudged over to his boyfriend's bed, disappointment swallowing him whole. He'd so been looking forward to seeing Ichigo's beautiful brown eyes for the first time in over four months. He sighed heavily, lowered the bed rail to the twin-sized bed and sat beside the orange head.

_Damn._

_Why did he have to miss Ichigo's awakening? If he hadn't been interrupted by Isshin, he still would've been there and he would've been the one his boyfriend woke up to._

_Shit_.

Grimmjow lowered his head and grasped Ichigo's right hand. _He would give both his nuts, just to hear the berry head's voice again_.

"Y-you look like sh-shit."

Grimmjow froze, his heart stopping, only to restart and hammer relentlessly. He slowly lifted his head, his chest incredibly tight as he locked gazes with those syrupy-brown eyes he had yearned to see. Ichigo wore his trademark smirk, but his eyes... _fuck, those eyes_...they projected a million unspoken emotions. Grimmjow felt like the room suddenly had no air left for him to breathe correctly. His lungs burned and his chest ached.

"Ichi," Grimmjow's voice came forth as a breathy, disbelieving whisper. "Ichi."

He leaned forward, drinking in the being before him, knowing as well as he knew his name, that hell would have to turn over twice before he'd let something happen to Ichigo again.

His boyfriend held his arms open and Grimmjow pressed into them, curling up next to Ichigo on the tiny bed. He wrapped his right arm around the smaller man's waist and buried his face into his lover's neck. Ichigo lifted a hand and ran his fingers through Grimmjow's hair, making his chest heave and his entire body shudder.

 _He'd MISSED him_.

Before he knew it, tears were tracking down his cheeks, under his chin and dampening Ichigo's neck. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing the moisture to subside, willing himself to stop being such a fucking woman, but...the overwhelming feeling of sheer joy and happiness overrode everything else, turning him into little more than an emotional wreck as he held tight to the person that meant the world to him.

"I c-could hear y-you," Ichigo said softly, the slight stutter completely endearing.

Grimmjow wiped his eyes and lifted his head to peer into those maple-brown depths, "You could?" Ichigo nodded, the hand that had been in Grimmjow's hair, settling on his shoulder. "What did I say?"

Ichigo shook his head slightly, "N-not words. Just y-your voice."

"Oh," Grimmjow mumbled, somewhat relieved. _He wanted to tell Ichigo himself how he felt about him_. "Ichi, there's somethin' I've been needin' to tell ya for a while. I was just too scared to say it before, but now...I just...I don't want..." his voice trailed off as he was unconsciously hypnotized by his boyfriend's molten brown gaze.

A raspy chuckle brought him out of his daze, "Y-you're still a w-weirdo," Ichigo stated, bringing a hand up to trace the side of Grimmjow's face.

He leaned into the touch and grinned genuinely for the first time in over four months, "You wouldn't have it any other way, though."

"Tr-true. Y-you were s-saying?"

Grimmjow could tell the talking was taking its toll on his boyfriend, so he decided to just put it all out there. He held eye contact with his boyfriend and took a deep, cleansing breath, closing his eyes briefly, only to re-open them and return his focus to those sultry brown eyes that had drawn him to the berry head from the very beginning.

"Ichi...I...I..." _The time had come and he STILL had a hard time just saying those three simple words. He meant them, so why were they so hard to say?_ He suddenly noticed that Ichigo was smirking devilishly at him and scowled sullenly. "What's so funny?" he muttered.

Ichigo shook his head, but snaked a hand around Grimmjow's neck, tugging him forward into a gentle kiss. Grimmjow's heart was trying its damnedest to beat right out of his ribs as he pressed his lips against his boyfriend's, relearning their texture before he slipped his tongue inside Ichigo's mouth to relearn his taste.

_Fucking..._

_Hell..._

Grimmjow grasped the back of Ichigo's neck and kissed him aggressively, stealing what little breath the orange head did have left. Ichigo still had that addictive taste and smell and it absolutely smothered Grimmjow. _He wanted to rub his face in it, live in it and never be rid of it_.

Ichigo whimpered softly and Grimmjow growled. _God, if he could, he would fuck his Ichi right in this damned hospital bed_. Instead, he pulled back and stared down into Ichigo's eyes, "Ichi, I love you," he murmured, inwardly marveling at how easily the words had slid from his tongue.

Ichigo grinned widely, kissed the corner of his mouth and nodded, "I-I kn-know. I-I love y-you, too, Grimm."

Grimmjow smiled and lay back beside his boyfriend, tucking his face into the crook of Ichigo's neck again. _All was right with the world once more_.


	23. Best Served Cold

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_April 2009_

Tatsuki glanced down at her Kermit the Frog wristwatch and blew out a breath.

 _Time to get this show on the road_.

She was dressed comfortably in a pair of black, Addidas sweats, the three, white stripes down each leg marking the name brand. A matching, hooded sweatshirt and black, track sneakers completed the dark outfit. All in all, Tatsuki appeared ready for the gym or a sports event, which was perfect.

 _She didn't need attention to be drawn to her this evening_.

Grimmjow's silver-haired friend had mysteriously acquired her cell phone number and after explaining his motives, had recruited her "services". She chuckled at the memory.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_April 2009_

_A Few Hours Ago_

_Tatsuki jumped as her cell phone vibrated urgently from her jacket pocket. She scowled and hurried from the hospital waiting room, irritatedly snatching the ringing device from its confines. She stepped through the exit and lifted the phone to her ear, wondering just who the hell was calling her at a time like this. She had been waiting for her turn to visit with Ichigo, who had just awakened from a four month coma and she didn't appreciate the interruption in the least._

_"Yo!" she snapped._

_There was a brief pause before a light tenor traveled over the line, "This Arisawa Tatsuki?"_

_"Who the hell wants to know?" Her eyes were wide, glancing around warily as if expecting the caller to be watching her from close by._

_"Ara! No need ta be so defensive," the voice crooned soothingly, "Ya don' know me, but I need yer help dispensin' some...er...justice, if ya will. It involves a friend a'mine and that orange-haired friend a'yers."_

_Tatsuki's eyes widened. Ichigo? "What're ya talkin' about?" she questioned tentatively._

_"Well, jus' so happens that we, meanin' me an' mah partner, know who tried ta kill the little strawberry. Now, hones'ly, this wouldna been nunna mah bis'ness, but Grimm's a good friend a'mine and I hate seein' 'im look so down, ya know?"_

_Tatsuki nodded soberly. She understood completely, considering she hated seeing Ichigo in a coma. One thing baffled her though, "What's that gotta do with me? Sounds like you've got everything under control already."_

_"Mah, ya see, that's where we come ta a bump in the road. Turns out, there's a female pullin' the strings and as much as I don' give a shit 'bout hurtin' a chick, my partner doesn' really approve, ya know? Kinda old-fashioned that way."_

_Tatsuki giggled excitedly. Just when she was feeling disappointment at not being able to join in the festivities with the mysterious caller, he went and gave her a reprieve, "Awesome. Who's the chick and what do I gotta do?" she asked anxiously._

_The voice chuckled softly, an unmistakably evil undertone carrying over the line, "I like that kinda attitude. Lemme see here...ya think ya can help me make 'er disappear? I mean, I'll unnerstan' if ya don' wanna go that far, but-"_

_"Gimme the info and I'll do it. No one fucks with Ichigo while I'm around," Tatsuki stated bluntly._

_There was a brief pause and Tatsuki thought the man had hung up, until, "Ok, I'll call ya back inna bit and we c'n meet up somewhere ta discuss the details."_

_"Fine. Hey, what's your name?" She'd just realized that she'd accepted a task from someone that she didn't even know. Hell, she didn't even know how the man had acquired her number. This could very well be a trap._

_"Ichimaru Gin."_

_Those two words expelled any doubt or disbelief in her mind. She'd heard of Ichimaru Gin before and he was no one to get on the wrong side of. Years back, he'd been a genius martial artist, but had quit the world of competition when he'd witnessed his lover's death in a fierce show of brutality. Tatsuki remembered the smaller man's name being Hitsugaya Toshiro. He'd been just as good as Gin and his opponent had been unable to defeat him for the fifth year in a row. His opponent, in a fit of jealous rage, had resorted to an illegal hold, slamming Hitsugaya to the mat, where the white-haired man had landed on his neck, consequently breaking it._

_Tatsuki had only heard about the stories, the event having been the topic of every newspaper and newscasting for days. Hitsugaya's opponent had mysteriously been found floating face-down in the Tokyo River, only days before he was set to go on trial for what he'd done to said white-haired martial artist._

_No one knew the culprit's identity, but many rumors were tossed around about a silver-haired man having been the last person to be seen with the deceased. Somehow, the rumors were stifled and the story was buried._

_A few more years down the line and Ichimaru Gin's name was notorious as a deadly hitman and filled even the toughest thugs with fear. The last Tatsuki had heard, Gin had supposedly retired, but she supposed he was resurfacing to do one last job for a friend. She also wondered how the hell the silver-haired man had managed to keep his friends in the dark about his old profession._

_Either way, it was really none of her business._

_"O-ok, then," she stuttered, suddenly very aware that she would be meeting with an extremely dangerous person soon._

_Instead of fear, she felt unbridled excitement coursing through her sleek frame. Everything about what she planned to do was wrong, but, as she'd told Gin, no one messed with Ichigo while she was around. She considered the orange-haired male her brother and for someone to have even dared to try to kill him, only meant they had no real desire to live._

_Tatsuki disconnected the call and headed back inside the hospital to see Ich **igo.**_

**XxxxxX**

_"Mah, yer not what I expected at all," Gin commented as Tatsuki slowly approached him._

_He was leaning against a burgundy, 2009 Mercedes-Benz E Class, lazily twirling the vehicle's keys around a slim finger. Tatsuki inwardly squeaked at the man's intimidating aura. The mile-wide, toothless grin accompanied with the slanted, closed eyes sent shivers rocketing down her spine and settling in her gut._

_"Well, what WERE you expecting?" she inquired, forcing down her rising discomfort._

_Gin's grin widened as he stood up straight and took a step forward. Tatsuki knew the movement wasn't meant to be threatening, but damned if it didn't make her take a step backwards. "Uwahh, Tatsuki-san, I ain't gonna hurtcha."_

_"Sorry," she mumbled, completely ashamed of herself. She had agreed to meet the man and now she was behaving like a field mouse facing an owl._

_"Ya sure ya can handle-" Gin started, quirking an elegant, silver brow._

_Tatsuki cut across him almost immediately, "Yeah. You can't blame me for being wary of you, though. I'm more than aware of your reputation."_

_Again, the grin widened even further, this time the corners damn near reaching his earlobes, "Ara! So troublesome..." he paused, cocking his head to the side, "I'm retired."_

_"You're just makin' an exception in this case, huh?"_

_"'Zaaaaactly," he crooned. "So! Tatsuki-san, le's get ta bis'ness, ne?"_

_Tatsuki nodded and moved forward, deeper into a situation she had never imagined herself being involved with._

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_April 2009_

So, here she was, having been "briefed" about the woman who'd had Ichigo shot. Everytime she thought about the chick, her ire rose to astonishing levels. She couldn't believe it was the blonde that Grimmjow used to date and that Ichigo had told her about. She remembered hearing about the woman's antics and sneering, asking the orange head to let her have a little talk with her.

Tatsuki grinned maliciously.

 _Talk indeed_.

Gin had informed her of the woman's whereabouts and planned activities for the evening. How he knew such things was beyond her, which, truthfully, only added to the slim, silver-haired man's frightening mysteriousness.

The woman's name was Tia Halibel, but she preferred to be called Halibel. She was the filthy rich heiress to her father's company, King Incorporated. It was a men's fragrance powerhouse, but seemed to be branching out towards other venues, such as footwear and clothing. There were rumors that the owner and Halibel's father, Barragan Luisenbarn, had dealings with the yakuza, but again, those were only rumors.

Gin had supplied Tatsuki with the means to dispense their own brand of justice against the blonde and she was rather excited. Halibel was known for having trysts with the wrong kind of people, Grimmjow having been the only light in her dark world, but she'd ruined that relationship by being distant and then leaving without saying a word.

Once she'd realized her mistake, she'd tried to regain the blue-haired man's attention, but by then, she was too late and in her jealousy, she'd made some pretty dumb mistakes.

It turned out that Grimmjow was the only one of his friends' circle that was oblivious of Gin's former profession and it seemed that the tall, silver being wanted to keep it that way. Tatsuki had been told that Nnoitra, their really tall friend that wore a bandana over his left eye, had called Gin and his partner/lover Szayel to ask for a favor. That favor had been the disposal of the man that had done the actual shooting of Ichigo. For some strange reason, the man had walked up to Grimmjow and confessed what he'd done.

Tatsuki shook her head. The guy had to be either crazy or just plain stupid to do something like that. Either way, she was pretty sure the man wouldn't survive the night since Gin had him on his radar.

_Back to Halibel, though..._

The blonde made the mistake of pissing off the wrong people and Tatsuki was there to make sure she paid for it. _Dearly_. Gin had given her the necessary information and she was looking forward to pulling the stunt off.

Tatsuki left the shadows of the opposite side of the fairly quiet street and crossed to the other side. She pulled up the hood to her sweatshirt and trotted towards the underground parking garage of the classy motel Halibel was said to be. Tatsuki's sneakers hit the pavement with a barely audible "slap" as she made her way to the black, BMW parked in the corner of the darkened garage.

Halibel's scheduled driver stood near the trunk of the vehicle, arms folded across her chest and eyes hidden behind a pair of black shades. The chick had blue-black hair cut in a bob that reached her chin and she wore a navy-blue pants suit. Tatsuki patted her hoodie pocket, satisfied that the tool she intended to use was right where it needed to be as she edged around the car towards the woman.

Tatsuki crept forward, slipping her hands into her pocket and wrapping her hand firmly around the handle of the stun gun Gin had given her. She didn't want to waste energy on someone other than the blonde she was after, so the weapon would come in handy.

The dark-haired female never even heard or saw Tatsuki coming and crumpled to the ground, convulsing slightly when the stun gun was pressed to the pulse point of her neck. Tatsuki grabbed the woman's ankles and dragged her out of sight behind a white, industrial van, making sure there was no evidence of the encounter left behind. Once that was done, she went through the woman's pockets and retrieved the car keys, slipping them into her hoodie pocket as she stepped from behind the van.

 _So far, so good_.

According to Gin, Halibel usually had the front desk summon her driver when she was ready to leave, so now, all Tatsuki had to do was wait.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_April 2009_

Shirosaki grinned, his normally bright, white teeth now covered in a crimson film. _This was sure to be the best night of his life_.

He spit to the side, ridding his mouth of the excess blood flowing from a cut on the inside of his cheek as he stared at his silver-haired captor in sheer disbelief. Shiro was having a hard time wrapping his mind around what he'd heard the man say.

"Ya wanna say that again?" he asked.

There was a cut above his right eyebrow causing blood to trickle slowly down the side of his face, but he didn't let that shift his gaze. The man named Gin, grinned cheerfully and took a step closer.

"I saaaid, since yer basically a mercenary, I'm gonna need yer services and in return, I won' kill yer worthless ass."

Shiro glanced at the tall, pink-haired man standing behind Gin and noticed his blank expression. _He wouldn't be getting any confirmation from him_. His gaze swung back to Gin and he allowed himself to relax just a bit, "Whatta I gotta do?" he inquired hesitantly.

"Well, I figured since yer willin' ta do pretty much anythin' for some money, ya wouldn' mind doin' this little thing for me for your life," Gin answered with an amused smirk. Shiro frowned, but remained silent. "Yer gonna take care a'that bad, yellow-haired bitch that's been causin' so much trouble for a friend a'mine. Now, ya do that an' ya got yerself a 'get outta jail free' card, ne?"

"Wait a minute!" Shiro blurted, unable to contain his glee. "Yer tellin' me that if I off Halibel, yer gonna lemme go?"

Gin's smirk widened, "Uh-huh, s'what I'm sayin'."

"Fuckin' hell, man, ya jus' made my dick hard," Shiro cackled.

"Disgusting," the pink-haired man muttered, while Gin chuckled.

"Ya know, the way I see it, ya jus' had a bad case a'the wrong job at the wrong time. I know how that is, so I'm givin' ya a chance ta redeem yerself. Hopefully, next time ya might do a little research before ya dive right in," Gin stated.

Shiro let his laughter die down as he nodded. If by chance, Gin was actually telling the truth about allowing him to keep his life after all was said and done, he would definitely inquire more about any future jobs, just to cover his ass and make sure a situation such as this didn't reoccur.

His serious countenance didn't last very long once his thoughts returned to the job Gin wanted him to do. _Fuck, he would kill that blonde bitch even if Gin still planned to kill him afterwards. She didn't even deserve to live a pig's existence_.

Suddenly, Shiro noticed Gin moving towards him, but instead of attacking, the silver-haired man released him from the chair. "Szay, ya think ya c'n fix 'im up before we take off?" Gin asked, glancing back at the pink-haired man.

"I suppose."

Shiro smirked and slowly rotated his neck and shoulders. He'd gotten his ass kicked way too many times for his taste in the past few months and the beatings were starting to take a toll on his weary body. However, he didn't give a shit, since it eventually led to tonight and his chance to get rid of that bitch. He rubbed his hands together joyfully and tossed a look in Gin's direction.

"So, when do we get this thing started?" he inquired, almost anxiously.

Gin grinned and tucked away the nine millimeter he'd held in his hand, "Soon as Szayel here takes a look at ya, we'll be goin'."

"Sweet."

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_April 2009_

Tatsuki slipped on the pair of shades she'd swiped from Halibel's driver and jumped into the dark vehicle. The front desk was alerting her that the blonde was ready to depart and needed her transportation.

Grinning fiendishly, Tatsuki eased out of the parking garage, gliding to a smooth stop in front of the hotel's entrance. She stepped from the car, rounding the back of it to open the door for the taller woman striding confidently towards her. Before arriving, she'd engaged the child safety locks on both back seat doors, ensuring no escape for Halibel if she did happen to realize that she wasn't her normal driver.

The blonde breezed past her and into the back of the car without a word or even a sideways glance. Tatsuki chuckled, shaking her head as she slammed the door shut and hurried back to the driver's seat. She peeled away from the curb with a loud squeal of burning rubber and booked it to the destination Gin had told her to meet him.

Tatsuki glanced into the rearview mirror and eyed the taller blonde seated in the back. She was wearing a tight, long-sleeved white shirt with a low-scooped neck, displaying an overabundance of cleavage that had the potential to smother three men at once, tight, black skinny jeans and six-inch, peep-toe, ankle boots. Her bright blonde hair was styled in a short, spiky up-do and her smoke-colored makeup made her clear, green eyes stand out significantly.

 _In short, the bitch was hot_.

Luckily, Tatsuki wasn't swayed by her good looks.

Halibel glanced at the rearview mirror and frowned slightly, "Apache, why are you driving so fast? And where the hell are we going? I don't have to make any stops," she groused in a throaty, feminine rumble.

Tatsuki kept silent, but continued to glance at the woman in the back, hoping she wouldn't try anything before she reached their destination. Gin had told her to stun the woman once she had her in the car, but Tatsuki wanted Halibel awake and aware of everything. _She also wanted a chance to kick the chick's ass once they made their arrival_.

"Apache, what's wrong with you?" Halibel snapped impatiently, those jade green eyes flashing brightly.

"Apache had an emergency, so I'm her replacement. Name's Mashiba," Tatsuki lied, thanking her lucky stars that they were approaching the meeting spot.

She glanced at the rearview again and was met with a narrow-eyed glare, "Mashiba? That name doesn't sound familiar at all. Wh-"

Before Halibel could finish her statement, the car hadn't even fully rolled to a stop, when the back door was yanked open. Tatsuki's eyes widened as she threw the vehicle into park and hopped out. A white-haired man with strange eyes and a lot of bandages on his face as if he'd just been in a fight, had the blonde woman by the throat, her feet thrashing and meeting nothing but air. Her fingers scrabbled for purchase, digging into the hand grasping her neck as she gasped for air.

_What the fuck? Who the hell was that guy?_

As Tatsuki stared at the man strangling Halibel with his bare hand, she absently noted their location. They appeared to be at an abandoned dock near the river on the outskirts of Karakura. There was no one around to hear any excessive noise and Tatsuki suddenly realized that Halibel was soon to meet a grisly fate.

"Looky, looky, didn' think ya'd see this mug again, didja?" the albino crooned, wearing an expert sneer on his pale lips.

Halibel sputtered, saliva sliding from the corner of her mouth and her hands still weakly trying to pry the man's hand from her throat.

"What was that, sweety? Don' think I heard ya," he continued, his voice a silvery tenor.

Speaking of silvery, it was at that moment that Tatsuki noticed Gin and a pink-haired man standing off to the side, also watching the interesting spectacle. Gin was nonchalantly chewing on a short, red stirring straw, his hands shoved deep into his jeans pockets. The pink-haired man stood with his hands behind his back, his black trench coat fluttering in the spring breeze.

 _Both men looked frighteningly formidable_.

A loud thud and groan brought her attention back to the albino, who had just allowed Halibel to hit the ground in a crumpled, undignified heap. She was coughing uncontrollably, those green orbs watering and glittering with hatred.

"Fucking Shirosaki!" she croaked, clutching her abused throat that was already sporting a big, red hand print.

"Mhmm, yeah, all that. Yer in fer a loooong night, Hal," the man exclaimed, an evil gleam in his strange eyes.

Tatsuki almost shrieked like a banshee when her right elbow was gently gripped. Whipping her head around, she came face to face with the silver-haired Gin. He was smiling cordially, his slanted eyes appearing closed and the straw he was chewing hanging loosely from the corner of his mouth.

"Mah, this is where we part ways, Tatsuki-san. I'm grateful for yer help, but ya don' need to be involved in the rest a'this, ya know?" he spoke quietly, yet sternly.

She nodded, not needing to be told twice. One last glance at the bandaged albino, only confirmed that notion. Gin led her over to the pink-haired man and nodded, "Ya know where ta take 'er, ne, Szayel?"

Szayel gave him a withering glare before rolling honey-colored eyes behind silver, rectangular-framed glasses, making Gin chuckle, "I'm not an idiot, Gin. You just make sure that fool over there doesn't get you killed while I'm gone," Szayel snapped.

Then, Gin blew Tatsuki's mind and did something she would have considered completely out of character for the tall, silver-haired man. He gripped Szayel by the back of his long, slender neck and pulled him into a searing kiss that made her blush and avert her eyes. Soft kissing sounds were heard before there was finally a silence and Tatsuki felt it safe to look again.

Szayel's face was as pink as his hair, even though he wore a dark scowl and Gin was smirking saucily, fingering a tendril of that pink hair, "I'll be aight. Ya trus' me, dontcha?"

Szayel nodded shortly and gave Gin a quick peck before turning away, Tatsuki in tow, "You know that already," the pink-haired man threw over a slim shoulder.

Tatsuki heard Gin's quiet chuckle before she was led away from the dock, where Halibel's scream was the last thing she heard.

XOXOXO

_Karakura General Hospital_

_June 2009_

"C'mon, Ichi, ya almost got it," Grimmjow's deep voice encouraged.

Ichigo wanted to punch him in his fucking face.

 _This therapy shit was for the birds!_ It had taken him a whole month just to be able to speak without stuttering and now he was "relearning" how to walk. He felt like an infant, frustrated, confused and helpless. He was frustrated because he was having such a hard time getting his legs to listen to his brain, he was confused because he was fighting to do something that was once second-nature to him and he felt helpless because there was nothing he could do except take things slowly.

His therapist, a kind, brown-haired and brown-eyed older man that insisted Ichigo call him Sosuke, rather than Aizen, his surname, was patient almost to a fault, but had had to explain to him one day that this would take time. He wouldn't be able to just jump right back into walking and it pissed him off.

Grimmjow was being so supportive and helpful, but the entire ordeal was stressful and depressing. He had to get around using a fucking wheelchair and even then, his arms would get so tired from pushing the wheels, he would have to ask whoever was there for assistance.

 _Most times, that person was his boyfriend_.

They were currently holed up in the PT (physical therapy) room, Ichigo supporting himself on a long, wooden rail that was mounted on the wall. He was sweating like it was going out of style and breathing harder than a woman in labor.

 _And he'd only taken two steps_.

Grimmjow stood off to the side, verbally encouraging him, while Sosuke was anchored right next to him, supporting the elbow of the arm not holding onto the rail. _He didn't want to do this anymore_. His legs ached and burned and all he wanted to do was say "fuck it" and go back to his room, but he knew Sosuke and Grimmjow wouldn't allow him to do so.

"I can't do it!" he snapped through clenched teeth.

Sosuke tried to nudge him forward, but Ichigo was hell-bent on not moving. "Ichigo-san, that's not true. You just need to keep trying," the older man gently persuaded.

Ichigo lifted his left foot and hissed loudly at the pain shooting through his entire leg, tears prickling behind his eyes in frustration. _How long was it going to take for him to be able to walk again? How long until he could leave this kami-forsaken hospital?_

 _He wanted to go home to his own apartment, wanted to get on with his fucking life!_ This situation was making him miserable, not to mention, all of his friends were treating him like some accident-prone child. He loved them to death, but he was sick of it. He just wanted his old life back.

 _When everything was normal_.

He slowly tried to lift his left foot again, this time a tear managing to make it down his face, "I. Can't. Fuckin'. Do. It," he growled angrily.

Sosuke sighed, no doubt ready to give Ichigo the lecture of a lifetime, but before the older man could speak, Grimmjow cut in, his electric blue eyes nearly glowing in their intensity, "Can I...just...have a moment with 'im?" he asked.

Sosuke nodded and headed for the door, his black, windbreaker pants swishing noisily, "Sure. I'm going to get something to drink."

Ichigo kept his eyes rooted to the blue mats placed on the floor underneath his feet for his benefit. He could feel his boyfriend's eyes on him and winced at the discomfort that gaze caused him.

"Ichi, I ain't gonna baby or spoil ya. I ain't even gonna bullshit ya and tell ya what I think ya wanna hear. I'm gonna be real here. Stop fuckin' doubtin' yourself, then stop fuckin' wallowin' in self-pity! Babe, you can do this, ya just need to get that can't word outta your head. Now," Grimmjow edged to the other end of the rail and faced Ichigo, "Walk to me."

Ichigo stared at his boyfriend in disbelief. _Was he serious? Didn't Grimmjow see that he was trying? He wasn't "wallowing in self-pity", he was just...he was just..._

_Fuck._

_He WAS throwing his own personal pity party_.

"Walk to me, Ichi," Grimmjow repeated and Ichigo lifted his gaze to lock with shimmering, ocean-blue.

 _He would do it, even if it fucking killed him_.

Ichigo grasped at the railing and beating the throbbing pain in his leg into submission, he slowly edged forward, left foot first, followed shortly thereafter by his right. The step with his right foot caused him to stumble and his vision to blur. Just as he swayed on his feet, a secure hold anchored him and his boyfriend's soothing baritone caressed his ear, "S'ok, Ichi, I got ya. Take it slow."

Ichigo bit down so hard, his jaw locked painfully, while his breath shuddered through his clenched and bared teeth. The pain was close to unbearable, but he refused to NOT see this through. His vision darkened and for a moment, he'd thought he'd passed out. Turned out, he had collapsed into Grimmjow's arms after walking the entire length of the railing.

"Ya did it, Ichi. Ya did it," his boyfriend stated happily. "C'mon, let's get ya some rest now. I'll tell Sosuke we're goin' back to your room."

Grimmjow helped Ichigo into his wheelchair before he left the PT room in search of the brown-haired therapist. Ichigo tossed his head against the back of the chair and blew out a deep, soul-cleansing breath. He was more than satisfied with his results and he owed it all to his blue-haired lover. He smiled to himself as he folded his hands in his lap.

 _Things were certainly looking up for him, now_.


	24. Epilogue

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_July 2011_

Gin lowered his thin frame into a white, lawn chair, a bottle of beer in one hand, a styrofoam plate filled to the brim with food in the other and a cigarette tucked behind his right ear. He was wearing a plain, short-sleeved, white t-shirt, khaki cargo shorts, white ankle socks and a pair of low-top, Nike Air Max sneakers.

Szayel sat delicately beside him at the end of the chair, wearing a pale yellow, short-sleeved polo shirt, a black belt, stone-washed blue, skinny jeans and black flip-flops. His pastel-pink hair glimmered under the beaming sun, tempting Gin to run his fingers through the silken mass.

Szayel carried a styrofoam plate of nothing but salad, grilled salmon and a baked potato, although there was an overabundance of food laid out, buffet-style across the large backyard of Grimmjow's father's house.

It was a celebration of epic proportions for Grimmjow's boyfriend, Ichigo. The orange-haired young man had turned a year older and Grimmjow had gone all out preparing a party for the kid. He'd had Ichigo's younger sister, Yuzu, prepare the massive amounts of food, then commandeered his father's lush, green backyard. The food was spread out on several tables under an open, skirted tent, a temporary bar was set up to the left of the food tables and a set of turntables was situated to the right of the food tables.

Grimmjow had recruited the help of his two bartenders, Yumi and Ikkaku, while his dark-haired DJ worked the turntables. The environment was pretty festive and Gin was prepared to thoroughly enjoy himself. _First, he was going to gorge himself with great food, then he was going to get slightly wasted from the free alcohol. After all was said and done, he was going to take his pink-haired boyfriend home and fuck the shit out of him_.

Grinning wolfishly, he placed his beer on the ground and glanced at Szayel, who was in the process of daintily eating his food. His lover paused with his fork hovering right before his parted lips and turned honey-colored eyes to him. Gin smirked and blew a kiss at the man, making his face turn the same shade as his hair.

"Why aren't you eating yet?" Szayel queried, a small scowl marring his brow.

"I'm watchin' ya make love ta that fork wit' yer tongue. S'real temptin'," he rumbled.

Szayel, instead of sputtering nervously as was his usual, leaned over and rubbed noses with him, wearing a sexy grin, "I know."

Gin caught the other man by the back of his long, slender neck and kissed him aggressively, stomach already warm with arousal. Their tongues twined and caressed, while Szayel sighed softly, the plastic fork he held in his hand clattering against the styrofoam plate in his lap as he gripped a fistful of Gin's white t-shirt.

"OI! Get a fuckin' room!" Nnoitra called from across the yard.

Gin smiled into the kiss and reluctantly backed away from his lover's intoxicating mouth. He straightened his back and yelled out, "Mind yer own fuckin' bizness, ne?"

Nnoitra gave his trademark piano-key toothed grin and flipped him the bird, making his own grin widen. Life was pretty calm now that the whole business with Grimmjow's boyfriend, Ichigo, being shot was over. Recruiting the orange-haired man's friend, Arisawa Tatsuki had been a stroke of genius that Szayel had come up with after learning of the blonde woman, Halibel's involvement.

Gin had acquired the dark-haired woman's phone number easily enough and once he'd contacted her, had found it surprisingly simple to get her to do the task he'd asked of her. _Guess that Ichigo kid had some really loyal friends. She'd done her job and he'd done his_.

Which brought him to the still touchy subject of Shirosaki. The man was a wild bull, listening to no one other than himself - well, that was before Gin had come into the picture. Once he'd spared the man's life AND recruited him to get rid of Halibel, the albino had become a loyal follower, nearly worshipping the ground he walked on, especially after he realized exactly who Gin was. Gin had convinced Shirosaki to leave Karakura and never return unless told to do so by himself only.

 _He hadn't heard from or seen the man since_.

Then came the situation with Halibel's father, Barragan. The older tycoon had sent man after man looking for his daughter, but Gin had been thorough and covered all of his tracks. There was no body and no evidence of what had happened to her. Shirosaki had seen to that, insisting on being the one to watch the woman's body burn to a gray pile of ashes.

Gin chuckled to himself. Barragan was still clueless, Halibel was dead and gone, and Grimmjow was happy again. Gin watched the tall blunet's father step onto the patio with Ichigo's father, both men smiling rather widely. Now, he wasn't going to jump to conclusions, but those two seemed to have been rather chummy as of late.

Alric said something that made Ichigo's father laugh and rub the back of his neck nervously. A silver brow raised in speculation, but before he could comment, Szayel snorted, catching his attention.

"They're so obvious," he mumbled afterwards and Gin almost agreed.

_Who would've thought?_

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_July 2011_

Tatsuki was upset. Her girlfriend was running late and it seemed that the birthday boy and his boyfriend were no-shows as well. She had to admit though, Grimmjow had gone over the top in his preparations for Ichigo's birthday party. There were mountains of food, tons of alcohol and Ichigo had a huge table filled with gifts, waiting for him beside the DJ booth.

She was seated on a gray, cushioned fold-out chair, her knees bobbing anxiously as she awaited the arrival of her girlfriend. She'd been seeing the older woman for five months now, but had yet to introduce her to her friends. Well, the time had come. Besides, Yoruichi refused to go without being introduced any longer.

It wasn't like Tatsuki was ashamed of her relationship or anything, but she was rather wary of what her friends would say. Yoruichi was nearly ten years her senior, although the woman definitely didn't look it.

Tatsuki picked at her cut-off, blue jean shorts and tugged on her pale green, short-sleeved t-shirt. Her feet were clad in a pair of all white Reebok Classics, her raven-colored hair hanging loosely over her shoulders. She had given Yoruichi the address, but she wondered if the woman was lost or something.

As soon as that thought crossed her mind, Yoruichi appeared with Alric at the door to the patio. Tatsuki inhaled sharply, lust spiking at the sight of her bown-skinned girlfriend. Large, cat-like, golden eyes locked onto her, making goosebumps march down her spine. Yoruichi wore her long, deep-violet hair up in a high ponytail, the end of it reaching the middle of her back and her beautiful face was split into a wide, coy smirk.

Tatsuki let her eyes roam the older woman's curvy figure that was poured into a midnight-blue, short-sleeved, shorts jumpsuit. Her mile-long, shapely legs tapered into dainty feet, where a pair of black, thong sandals rested. Large, black bangles clanked noisily on her wrists as she made her way over, shifting a black clutch to the crook of her left arm and Tatsuki could smell her exotic perfume already.

"Hey," Yoruichi greeted, her voice throaty and husky.

Tatsuki's grin ate up the bottom half of her face as she stood to hug her girlfriend, "Hey yourself. Didja get lost or somethin'?" she teased.

Golden eyes flashed with mischief as Yoruichi stepped into the hug, her scent making Tatsuki's mouth water, "Or maybe I just wanted to make you wait."

"Whatever, woman. Kiss me?"

Yoruichi snorted, but settled a chocolate-hued hand on Tatsuki's right cheek and moved in to connect their lips. Tatsuki sighed and wrapped an arm loosely around her woman's waist.

 _She could never get enough of the sexy vixen_.

"You c'n get a room too!" Grimmjow's tall friend, Nnoitra shouted.

Tatsuki chuckled against Yoruichi's lips before slowly pulling back and flipping the slinky man the bird. Nnoitra's cackle traveled across the yard over the music the DJ, Shuuhei, had playing.

Yoruichi grinned and glanced over her shoulder at Nnoitra, "Who's he?" she inquired curiously.

Tatsuki rolled her eyes as she grabbed her girlfriend's hand and began leading her towards the food table, "That's Ichigo's boyfriend's best friend. He's an idiot, so don't mind him."

Yoruichi chortled and nodded, "Ok."

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_July 2011_

Rukia slapped her boyfriend's hand away from her thigh with her left, while the right steered the car, "Kaien! You want me to crash?"

The dark-haired male grinned saucily and leaned over, kissing her cheek softly and making her blush. She still wasn't used to his extremely affectionate manner, but that wasn't to say that she didn't appreciate it.

She remembered after meeting the man in the library of the University one night, that he seemed to appear during nearly all of her breaks, engaging her in friendly conversation. Then, one day about two months down the line, Kaien had asked her out on a date and she had agreed. She'd been terrified and way uncertain, but she knew for a fact that there was something attracting her to the older man.

Rukia didn't know if it was his greenish-gray eyes that she had once thought to have been coal-colored, or if it was his outgoing personality and heart of gold. Whatever it was, she wanted more of it. Their first date had gone rather smoothly and so had the second and third. By the fourth, Kaien had kissed her, sweeping her off her feet and pushing thoughts of Renji into the farthest recesses of her mind.

A few weeks after that, Kaien had asked her to be his girlfriend and again, she had agreed. The rest was, as they say, history.

Rukia had been unsure of how to interact with Ichigo after seeing him in the hospital and apologizing to him, but the orange-haired young man had taken the reins from her and extended the proverbial olive branch. Things weren't absolutely ironed out, but the tense awkwardness no longer existed.

Rukia had also been shocked out of her size five shoes when Kaien had introduced her to his younger siblings, one being the dark-haired man that Renji was seeing. It had been completely uncomfortable and just when she was on the verge of calling things off, Renji, of all people, had cornered her, apologized, then scolded her for trying to walk away from "such a great guy".

She'd ended up in a fit of laughter, Renji joining in upon realization of the irony of the situation. They weren't the best of friends, but they too were working on their fragile friendship.

Rukia had been a little shocked, at first, to receive the birthday party invitation from Ichigo's blue-haired boyfriend, but ended up being relieved and happy to attend. It would've been more awkward had she not been invited, but Shuuhei and Kaien had.

Kaien's wily hand was creeping over her thigh again, but this time she didn't bother to move it. He was persistent as a fly, so no amount of scolding or slapping away would deter him. Kaien leaned over the middle console and brushed his lips against her ear, making her entire body shudder. Her mind immediately conjured up images of their love-making the night before, her face burning a fiery red.

"Kaien, we're really going to have an accident if you keep that up," she scolded, her voice coming out huskier than she'd intended.

Kaien chuckled and withdrew his large, warm hand, "Ok, ok," he grumbled good-naturedly.

 _She had to admit, she already missed his hand's warmth_.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_July 2011_

A plastic soapdish and toothbrush holder clattered to the floor as Renji's hands grappled for purchase on the ceramic sink.

"Sh-shit!" he gasped.

Shuuhei grunted, his grip on Renji's hips bruising as his pace increased and shook the sink. Renji felt like he was going to die from lack of oxygen everytime Shuuhei thrust forward, stabbing his prostate.

"Fuck, Renji! So tight!"

Renji moaned heatedly, his skin on fire and nerves terribly sensitive at the moment. He'd never thought he would be in the receiving position of sex, but after Shuuhei allowed Renji to fuck him, he'd been curious about returning the favor. Once he had, he actually preferred being a bottom.

He pushed back against his boyfriend's fervent thrusts, his ass meeting the DJ's hips sharply. Suddenly, Shuuhei reached around and grasped Renji's throbbing length, stroking urgently.

He arched his back and bit his lip to stifle the loud wail threatening to burst from his throat. "I'm comin'!" he yelped softly.

Shuuhei increased his pace and hand movements until Renji tensed, spilling himself onto his boyfriend's hand and the sink in front of him. The DJ was still slapping into him while he rode out his intense orgasm, but not even a moment later, Shuuhei was hoarsely crying out his release.

"Fuck!"

Renji rolled his hips, still enjoying the feel of his boyfriend being buried inside of him, even though Shuuhei's dick was softening. They were both breathing and sweating like marathon runners as the DJ finally pulled out of him, making him moan softly before they began cleaning off and adjusting their clothes.

"Ya know Alric is gonna kill us for fuckin' in his bathroom, right?" Renji huffed as he buttoned his dark-blue jean shorts and buckled his red belt. His red t-shirt bearing "I'm with the DJ" across the front in dark-blue lettering was slightly wrinkled, but not noticeably so.

"Not if we hurry back. That's why I stuck that CD in there. 'Sides, dontcha think he's a little preoccupied with Ichigo's dad to notice what we're doin?" Shuuhei asked as they left the bathroom.

"No," a deep voice boomed directly in front of them, halting their movements.

"Oh shit," Renji muttered, blanching at the sight of Grimmjow's frightening father, Alric Jaegerjaques.

"Didja bastards at least clean up behind yerselves?" the older, blue-haired man grunted.

He nodded his head frantically, hiding himself beind his frozen lover. Shuuhei hadn't moved an inch and Renji didn't think the man was breathing either. Alric clapped the DJ on the back and shoved off towards the large kitchen, the raven-haired male finally exhaling loudly as if he'd indeed been holding his breath.

"Fuckin' hell, that was intense," he breathed and Renji laughed heartily.

XOXOXO

_Karakura Town_

_July 2011_

"Grimm, would you just tell me where the hell we are?" Ichigo scolded his boyfriend.

"And what? Ruin the surprise? I don't think so. Just be patient and quit actin' like a baby, yeah?"

"Fuck you," Ichigo muttered sullenly, allowing Grimmjow to steer him along, his eyes covered with a dark blindfold.

"I love you too, Ichi," the taller man crooned, his big hands grasping Ichigo by the shoulders.

He was glad he could walk normally again. It had taken him six months to actually do so without being in pain, but Grimmjow had been there making the journey a little less unbearable.

Ichigo could smell barbecue, smoke and alcohol and could hear loud music, making him wonder if he was being led inside Las Noches. Then, his feet traveled over what felt like thick carpet and he negated that option.

_Where the fuck was Grimmjow taking him?_

Grimmjow paused for a moment, the sound of something sliding being heard before they were again moving forward. Suddenly, the music was cut and a thick silence descended wherever they were.

Ichigo cleared his throat and shifted his weight to his right foot, "Grimm," he whispered, "what's going on?"

His boyfriend chuckled, but didn't reply. Instead, Ichigo felt the blindfold loosen and fall from his eyes. He blinked slowly a few times, adjusting to the bright afternoon sun, only to be sent reeling backwards from a loud chorus of "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

"Holy shit," he mumbled, his face morphing into a wide, grinch grin.

He was standing on the back patio of Alric's house, his old man and Alric himself standing off to Ichigo's left. There was a huge open, skirted tent that housed several tables of food, a bar, a DJ booth and another table piled high with wrapped gifts.

Shuuhei and Renji stood beside one another at the DJ booth, Yumi and Ikkaku stood behind the bar, Ikkaku cleaning a glass and Yumi wiping down the small, wooden counter. All of Ichigo's and Grimmjow's friends stood milling about, some with plates of food in their hands, others holding glasses of alcohol or bottles of beer. Shinji and Stark were posted on the right side of the yard, near a bunch of gray fold-out chairs. Nnoitra, Ulquiorra, Tatsuki and an insanely hot woman were also situated in that area.

On the left side of the yard, near the white lawn chairs sat Gin, Szayel, Rukia and her boyfriend, Kaien. Chad, Ishida and Inoue were standing on line for food, but smiling up at him. Ichigo felt his stomach quiver and his eyes get misty, a scowl pulling at his brow.

He turned to Grimmjow, ready to chew the blunet out for such a lavish display, but the words died in his throat. His boyfriend was smiling down at him with such a look of love and affection, any negativity just would've been wrong.

"Happy birthday, babe," Grimmjow rumbled, wrapping him up in a tight embrace.

Ichigo grinned, hugging the man back just as tightly, "Thanks, Grimm."

The taller man ran his hands over his back and pressed his nose into his hair, inhaling deeply. Finally, Grimmjow pulled back and grabbed his hand, "Let's go open your presents, yeah?"

He nodded and followed behind his excited lover, smiling broadly when the music started blaring again:

_You're really lovely_

_Underneath it all_

_You want to love me_

_Underneath it all_

_I'm really lucky_

_Underneath it all_

_You're really lovely_

~End~


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